Note: Due to unforseen circumstances, the OWF portion of the show is unavailable. The odd pacing of the show's scenes are due to this fact. As the timeline goes, this show took place several days before the FHW "Shit Happens" PPV.

[A commercial for "Terryco's Vomit Whip" goes off the air, as the LWA and OWF logos appear on either side of the screen. The images jostle back and forth for control of the screen, but are both shattered as the UWS logo breaks through both of them. The heavy riffs of "Blackened" by Metallica begin to play, but are cut short after just a few seconds.]

[The sound of cheering fans can be heard as the show cuts the the ringside LWA announce table.]

Gallivan: Welcome once again wrestling fans to UWS Blackened. How are you feeling tonight, Jim?

Jim: Damn good. It's good to work for the UWS, where we have 38% less aborted fetuses than FHW.

Gallivan: I see you're hitting FHW early tonight.

Jim: Well, they deserve it. Have you seen Ricochet lately? People getting tossed into vats of medical waste? That is some sick shit, if you pardon my french.

Gallivan: Well, we won't see any of that here tonight. Strangely enough, we plan on having some wrestling.

Jim: At a wrestling show? Say it ain't so!

Gallivan: Fraid so, Jim.

Jim: Well, I guess I've seen everything in the world of wrestling over the years, but a show that's devoted to wrestling... never been done.

Gallivan: We are just that kind of fed, Jim. Trendsetters, trailblazers...

Jim: And bitterly sarcastic bastards.

Gallivan: That too. Seriously fans, we've got a hell of a show planned for you tonight, at least as far as the LWA division is concerned. LWA/Beast Champion, Lee Todd, will be facing the Mexican giant, Paco in what promises to be a high-impact affair. We've also got two more wrestlers debuting as Scar takes on "Demolition Man" Mike Burke.

Jim: That should be a good one. Both men have been chomping at the bit to get to each other all week, and now they get the chance. But, tell them about our main event.

Gallivan: Yes fans, our main event. In an example of rather curious booking to say the least, LWA forefather, The Native will be the next man who will attempt to stop the monster, Judas Dagon. Both Ken Holbrook and Sean Lassiter failed to hurt the big man last show, so frankly, I don't know what the Native is going to be able to do against him.

Jim: I don't know either, but it'll be fun to watch him try.

Gallivan: Very nice, Jim. Speaking of Ken Holbrook, last show saw him abducted by a mysterious masked man in surgical scrubs. We haven't heard from Holbrook since, but we received this tape in the mail a couple of days ago. Let's take a look at it.

[The Syni-tron roars into life and begins to play the clip.]

[The scene opens in a brightly lit dentist's office. Ken "Jester" Holbrook is strapped to a dental chair, and appears to be unconscious. There is a brace and bandages on his broken nose, and the cuts on his face and head have been cleaned and bandaged.]

[Then, a man steps out behind Holbrook. He is dressed in surgical scrubs, complete with surgical mask and a stethoscope around his neck. Holbrook begins to groan as he slowly regains consciousness. The masked man moves a pair of large cannisters closer to the chair, and attaches a mouthpiece to the end of a hose. The other end, he attaches to one of the cannisters. Before Holbrook opens his eyes, the masked man puts the mask up to his mouth and turns the spigot, releasing gas. After a few seconds, he turns the gas down, and lays the mask on Holbrook's chest.]

[Slowly, Ken Holbrook opens his eyes, and immediately begins to laugh: a slight, uncomfortable laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. The masked man moves around to face Holbrook, and slowly lowers his surgical mask.]

Holbrook: You... hehehe... Dr. Karate... Ha! You bastard!

Dr. Karate: Yes, it is I, Dr. Karate, Ken. Graduate of the Kung-fu Kollege of Kucamonga, 9th degree black belt, and licensed physician. Former LWA Cruiserweight champion, Dr. Karate. So Ken, how are you feeling?

Holbrook: Hahaha... I feel... ha, like shit!

Dr. Karate: Well, you suffered a pretty nasty concussion in the ring against Dagon. But, I've patched you up, good as new. Does your nose hurt?

Holbrook: Hehe, no... not really.

Dr. Karate: That would be the gas. I guarantee that you'll be in some pain for the rest of the week. But, I have done an impressive job on it. It had to be re-broken, of course. While I was at it, I went ahead and smoothed out that little bump you had on the bridge. When the swelling comes down, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Holbrook: What... hehehe... what happened?

Dr. Karate: You were put into a match you simply weren't prepared for, and got your ass handed to you. But, that's all over now.

[Ken Holbrook begins to giggle like a schoolgirl. Dr. Karate reaches over and turns the gas down slightly until he stops.]

Holbrook: Why... hehehe... the hell did you do this? I mean, ha... why am I tied up here?

[Dr. Karate leans against the counter behind him, then retrieves a scalpel from his pocket and removes the plastic protective covering from it. He holds the scalpel up in front of his own face, apparently looking at his own reflection in the tiny blade.]

Dr. Karate: This, hehehe, has been a little demonstration of power, Ken.

Holbrook: Hahahaha.

Dr. Karate: You see, I could have easily done unspeakable... haha... things to you, and no one could have... ha, stopped me.

Holbrook: What the... HA! What the... hahaha... what do you want?

Dr. Karate: Nothing Ken. I just want to let... hehehehe... to let you know that I am Uesugi's new manager, and... haha, he's signed to wrestle for the OWF.

[At that, both men start laughing. Tears begin to roll down Holbrook's face as he tries to speak.]

Holbrook: You... hahahahaha... you sick, hahaha, son, hahaha... of a bitch. HA!

[Suddenly, Dr. Karate burts out into raucous laughter, followed by Ken Holbrook. The two of them continue to laugh, staring at each other; Dr. Karate gesticulating wildly, and Holbrook struggling against his bonds.]

Dr. Karate: This... haha... is much worse... HA! HA! Hehehe, than actually doing something... hahaha, nasty to you. This way, hehehehe, you know that I... haha!... hold all the, hahaha, cards!

[Karate waves his hand precariously close to Holbrook's face, nearly catching him with the scalpel.]

Dr. Karate: Oops! HAHAHAHA!!!

Holbrook: Ok, Karate... hahahaha! Karate... haha, you win this one. But... HA! When I get out of... haha... here, I'm going... haha... to make your life a... HA!... living HELL! HAHAHAHA!!!

[Dr. Karate joins in with the insane laughter to the point of going down on one knee and gasping for breath. He carefully makes his way over to the cannister and turns off the gas. Switching the hose to a second cannister, he covers Ken Holbrook's mouth with the mask, and turns on the other cannister. Ken struggles, still giggling, then passes out.]

Dr. Karate: Night... hehehe... night, Mr. Holbrook.

[Karate pulls a business card from his pocket and slips it into the collar of Ken Holbrook. The camera closes in on the card, which reads...] "For services rendered... Dr. Karate"

[The Syni-tron shuts down and the camera closes back in on the announce table.]

Gallivan: Fans, I don't know what to make of that, but it would appear that Dr. Karate has made his presence known in the UWS.

Jim: That's an understatement. Karate may be a smart guy, but I think he's going to find out just how dangerous Ken Holbrook can be when he's pushed.

Gallivan: Jim, I know I'll probably regret this, but you seem rather... um, competent tonight.

Jim: I'm glad you noticed. I'll have you know that I've been taking refresher courses on how to be a good color commentator.

Gallivan: You have to be kidding me.

Jim: No joke. I was leafing through my fanmail the other day--

Gallivan: You get fanmail?

Jim: Of course. Don't you?

Gallivan: Oh, yeah... tons of it.

Jim: Well, some of my fans were saying that I spent a little too much time ragging on you, and not enough focusing on the match at hand. So, I've been going to a class for color commentators.

Gallivan: Jim, I'm shocked.

Jim: So was I. Jesse Ventura showed up last week. And Randy Savage was there the week before.

Gallivan: Really? What advice did Savage give you?

Jim: Whatever you do, don't try and spell anything on live TV.

Gallivan: Jim, if anybody gets that reference, I'll eat my headset.

Jim: Then, you'd better get the salt and pepper, because my fans are freaks.

[The show cuts backstage. We briefly wander down one of the arena's many hallways, which bustles with activity. A small grouping of LWA security huddle together conferring; Vendors can be seen hustling to restock their goods; Several ring crew members attend to some last minute projects. A quick turn and we enter a small side room which seems to have been transformed into a makeshift office. The carpet is grey. The walls are plain, except for a picture of Craig Lassiter's face in a wooden frame. Sitting behind a massive desk, Craig Lassiter is leaning back in his chair, rubbing his eyes. In front of him, an executive "steel-balls-on-strings" stress reliever is clacking away mindlessly.]

Zeke: Um, boss?

[Craig jolts back into consciousness, and stares at the camera.]

Lassiter: Zeke, what the hell are you doing here?

Zeke: Boss, the show has started. You told me to wake you when we started. Besides, there's somebody here to see you.

Lassiter: Ok, send him in.

[The camera, manned by Zeke, pans around to the door of the office, and Zeke opens it up. "Sentinel" Gabriel Blade stands up from one of the waiting room chair, and walks in.]

Gabriel Blade: I don't like to be kept waiting.

Lassiter: Sorry about that, kid. Things have been crazy around here. Every time I turn around, someone is asking me for money. Have a seat!

Gabriel Blade: No thanks.

Lassiter: Suit yourself. (he opens the drawer to his left and pulls out a sheaf of papers held in a cheap 3-ring binder) So, what have you been up to? Last time I saw you was during that unfortunate FHW Invasion thing.

[Gabe just stares at him, then looks down at the binder.]

Lassiter: Ok, not interested in chitchat. No problem. (he slides the binder across to Gabe, along with a pen) There ya go. Sign on the dotted line and you are the newest member of the LWA roster. You know, you could have done this through the mail. No reason for you to come all the way out here to the Rock just to sign a contract.

Gabriel Blade: Let's just say I've got other business to attend to as well.

[Gabe grabs the pen and signs the contract without reading it. He tosses the pen onto the table, and turns to leave.]

Lassiter: Hey, what's your rush?

[Gabriel Blade stops in his tracks, and turns to face Lassiter.]

Gabriel Blade: Listen Craig, or whatever you're calling yourself these days, I've only got one thing on my mind. Now if you don't mind, I've got to find myself an imposter Sentinel and teach him the meaning of the word, "justice."

Lassiter: Woah, kid, hold your horses. You want to get your hands on Judas Dagon, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind reciprocating. I want to see it, the boys in the lockeroom want to see it, and the fans want to see it too. But this is a live TV program. There's no need to give these fans that kind of action for free. So, take your time, get a few practice matches in, and I'll sort out a match for our first pay-per-view. Hell, I'll even put you guys in a cage if that's what you want.

Gabriel Blade: Justice waits for no man. I know Dagon is showing up for his match against the Native tonight. And when he does, I'll be there.

Lassiter: Gabe, hold on.

[The Sentinel walks out of the room, leaving Craig Lassiter by himself. His executive balls click to a stop on his desk.]

Gabriel Blade: Whatever I'm calling myself these days? Craig's my real name, dammit.

[The show cuts to another backstage camera. Lee F'n' Todd is swaggering around, belt hoisted over his shoulder, dressed from head to toe by the merchandise provided by the good people at the UWS promotional machine. He stops in front of a room and looks at the sign on the door. There, in magic marker are the words, "Dressing Room #1". Turning towards it, he smiles before knocking on the door.]

[Lee patiently whistles while he waits. After a few seconds, the door is opened, and Paco pokes his head out, and glares down at Lee. Paco is met with a thunderous slap in the face from Lee.]

Todd: That's for even thinking about it.

[Lee walks away whistling "Hi Ho Hi Ho... it's off to work we go". Paco just stares at him, paralysed with rage at Lee's audacity.]

---BREAK---

[The show cuts back to Craig Lassiter's office. Bonnie Bellows is standing in front of Lassiter with her ever-present clipboard.]

Lassiter: Well, what can we do about it?

Bonnie: There isn't much we can do, MB. The company says that the shipment will arrive within the week, but they can't do any better than that.

Lassiter: Bonnie, we've got an arena full of fans here and no merchandise to sell them. Now, I know we ordered the stuff late, but they said they could get it here in time.

Bonnie: The guy I was talking to said that it was out of his hands. Freak thunderstorm delayed the ferry and the shipment.

Lassiter: Jesus, I hate this country. If it wasn't for the beer, I tell ya...

[The door swings open wildly and Mike Burke walks in.]

Lassiter: Ah, the Demolition Man. You're a little early, but what the hey.

[Craig stands up and reaches his hand out to Burke. He grudgingly accepts it and sits down in front of Craig. The LWA President pulls another binder from his drawer and hands it to Burke.]

Lassiter: There's your LWA contract, Mr. Burke. Good to have you aboard. You know, I was a good friend of your older brother, Kev.

Burke: Yes, he told me what kind of "friend" you were. Now where do I sign?

[Craig hands him a pen and points to the spot.]

Lassiter: Yeah, he was something, your brother. What's he been doing lately? You know, the LWA always has room for another former world champion.

Burke: Am I my brother's keeper?

Lassiter: No, I guess not. So Mike, what have you got planned in my LWA?

[Burke just stares at him.]

Lassiter: I like to work with my talent, Mike. So, if you have any problems, or if you need anything, my door is always open. As you have so quickly found out.

Burke: If you don't mind, just leave me the fuck alone.

[Burke signs the contract and just gets up and walks out of the room. Craig absent-mindedly sniffs under his arms, then just shrugs.]

Lassiter: Bonnie, do we have Kevin Burke's number?

Bonnie: He's not returning our calls, MB.

Lassiter: Pity. Oh well, you work with what you got, right?

[The show cuts back to ringside.]

Gallivan: So, are we just going to see people sign contracts tonight? That doesn't exactly make for an entertaining show.

Jim: Bah, it'll still be better than the FHW.

---BREAK---

[The show once again cuts back to Craig Lassiter's office. Craig is looking down through a form which he clearly doesn't understand, and is re-reading the paragraphs over and over again. Then, Bonnie Bellows, Head of LWA production, pokes her head in.]

Lassiter: What the hell does fiduciary mean?

Bonnie: Boss? Shane Brandon has just arrived.

Lassiter: Send him in, send him in.

[Shane Brandon, dressed in a neatly pressed dark grey suit enters, offering a slight nod. A step behind, the stocky Hoss Titan appears with a tip of his Stetson in acknowledgement. The precession continues as several nattily suited business people and burly "Titan Industries" security agents soon follow. After a glance from Lassiter, Bonnie sees herself out.]

Lassiter: Gentlemen! Great to see you. Please, please, make yourself at home.

[Hoss wastes little time picking at a modest complementary food platter off to the side.]

Lassiter: I'll tell you Shane, you had us a little worried last show, but hey, mistakes happen. And anyway, better late than never. I've got your LWA contract right here somewhere. (he begins fiddling through his drawers) Now I think you'll find things are going to be running a hell of a lot smoother and we can probably get you involved in a match by...

Brandon: (matter-of-factly) Bad News...

Lassiter: Actually, I've dropped the gimmicked name. It's just Craig Lassiter now. Call me Mr. Lassiter. No, my father's name is Mr. Lassiter. Just call me MB, for Magnificent Bastard.

Brandon: (smiles) I'm well aware of the name... MB. As a matter of fact...

[Brandon extends his hand as a nearby bespectacled businessman promptly delivers a neatly stacked pile of papers.]

Brandon: (glancing at the stack with a grin) Ah yes, its even spelled right... L-A-S-S-I-T-E-R.

[Shane presents the papers to Lassiter with a sharp glare.]

Brandon: ...Yep, right next to "defendant"...

Lassiter: Huh? I don't understand. (reading from the paperwork) "You are hereby summoned and required to appear before the honorable Judge Douglas M. Katz, and answer to the complaint of"... What the hell is this all about?

Businessman #1: Consider yourself served, Mr. Lassiter. Certainly sir, you and your organization must understand as the entity of Shane Brandon has grown, so to has the importance of protecting the reputation, name, and trademarks...

Lassiter: Wha-

Businessman #2: I'm sure you are aware that "The Threat" Shane Brandon is a registered trademark, meaning that neither the name nor the various marks associated with said entity can be used without permission.

Lassiter: I-

Businessman #3: From a legal perspective, using the name of our client in non-approved activities is an infringement that could confuse the public or harm our client's reputation.

Brandon: In other words, my name, my likeness - My property. Advertising my appearance without permission? Making it seem as though I no-showed an event? That damages my credibility, MB. A reputation of unreliability in this business, well, that endangers my very livelihood. (a slight smirk with a shake of his head) Tsk, Tsk.

Hoss Titan: (swiping the crumbs of a Ritz cracker from his lapel, before tossing a carrot stick to the side) An' that's not even mentionin' the false advertisin' claims and consumer groups jus' waitin' for the go ahead.

Businessman #1: It also goes into intellectual property rights and such related to television advertising featuring footage of Mr. Brandon used to promote the opening UWS show, non-payment of merchandise sales from his previous tenure in the LWA, and an outstanding fee for his appearance at the Iron Man Memorial Tournament which still hasn't been rectified.

Hoss Titan: Heck, I've personally lost my appetite somethin' fierce from the stress alone! ...OH! Unless you got more a' those 'lil sesame sticks - I jus' love 'em! 'Specially with those-

Lassiter: Out... OUT! Get out now! Security!

Brandon: No need to call security... MB. (he says the letters in a slow, mocking tone) Our business here is done.

[Shane and his entourage leave the room, but not before Hoss Titan pockets a handful of extra Goldfish crackers. Once gone, Craig Lassiter just stares at the stack of paper in front of him.]

---BREAK---

[The show cuts backstage. Craig Lassiter is storming down a hallway, with Bonnie desperately trying to keep up with him.]

Bonnie: I've already faxed it off to the lawyers. They said they'd call as soon as they've had a chance to look it over.

Lassiter: I can't believe Brandon has the balls to sue me. After everything I've done for that kid.

[Craig keeps pushing doors open on his way, glancing into rooms, then continuing down the hallway.]

Lassiter: Where the hell is Reaper?

[Craig and Bonnie head around a corner and walk into Shane Brandon speaking with a man dressed in a pristine black suit and wearing a monocle.]

Lassiter: Brandon, what the hell are you still doing here?

Brandon: Me, I was just speaking with a few of the guys, why?

Lassiter: You don't work here. In case you didn't realize, I rescind my contract offer. Bonnie! Get me security!

[As if he had been hiding in the shadows, the incredibly wide tuxedo-clad form of Mr. Toasty Bacon slides into the hallway.]

Lassiter: Ah, Mr. Toasty Bacon, if you would kindly escort Mr. Brandon here out of the building.

Brandon: Actually, since I'm in the neighborhood, I was thinking I might just stick around. You know, offer a little support.

[Brandon pulls a number of tickets from inside his blazer.]

Lassiter: What's that?

Brandon: It's front row tickets for... (he looks at the writing on one of the cards) Underwordl Wrestling Sindicate presents UWS Blackened. Underwordl? You should really get a new printer, MB. Syndicate is spelled wrong too. Starting a brand new promotion in these rough economic times, this Todd character as your newly crowned champ... And now.. (grins) pending legal action? It must be tough... MB. I think Hoss and the gang are getting popcorn as we speak, so I'll just meet them at our seats.

Lassiter: (his words strained through clenched teeth) Fine. Please escort this "gentleman", out to his seat. And stay nearby. (eyes Brandon coldly) Crowd control - For your protection, of course.

[Mr. Toasty Bacon begins to guide Shane down the hallway.]

Brandon: (smiles) Much appreciated. I do hope you understand its nothing personal... just business. You have yourself a great show... While it lasts, at least.

[Mr. Toasty Bacon gently corrals Brandon down the hall towards the ring area. Craig Lassiter just fumes as he watches him walk away. Then, the man in the suit and the monocle holds his hand out to Lassiter. Lassiter just stares at him.]

Lassiter: Who the hell are you and how'd you get in here?

Paine: Edmund Paine II, my good man, and I came in through the backdoor. I'd just like to say that I'm very anxious to get on the job, if you catch my meaning.

[Lassiter shakes as he looks the man up and down.]

Lassiter: What are you? An usher?

Paine: (laughing) No, I'm a wrestler. Greco-roman style is my specialty. I'm of the school that thinks that a lot can be learned from the Greeks.

Lassiter: Yeah, the Greeks are ok, I guess. Oh, wait a minute. Weren't you in the FHW?

Paine: Indeed I was. I think I've seen all there is to see in FHW, and I'm here for a little fresh meat, so to speak.

Lassiter: Good, good. Another FHW wrestler comes to his senses and joins a real fed. Good to have you aboard Pain.

Paine: Actually, it's Paine.

Lassiter: That's what I said... Pain.

Paine: Paine.

[Craig Lassiter looks over at Bonnie for some relief, but she just rolls her eyes.]

Lassiter: Well, if you'd excuse me, Mr. Pai... Um, Edmund. I need to find Marcus Ash tonight even if I've got to travel to the ends of the earth to do it.

Paine: Oh really? Would you like me to help you pack your shit?

Lassiter: No thanks, I think I can manage. Bonnie, come on.

[Paine watches the two of them walk away licks his lips.]

Paine: I think I like it here already.

[The show cuts back to ringside. Jim Browski has his face down on the announce table, and is slamming his hand down onto it.]

Jim: (laughing) Can I pack your shit!

Gallivan: Try and restrain yourself Jim. We've got a show to do. Remember your color commentator training.

Jim: (still laughing) Guess who my newest wrestler is, Johnny. Just guess.

Gallivan: Edmund Paine?

Jim: You got it!

Gallivan: Well, as much as you enjoyed Mr. Paine's introduction, it seemed lost on our LWA president.

---BREAK---

[The show cuts to Craig Lassiter office. Craig has collapsed in his chair and looks ready to drop. On the desk in front of him is Brandon's lawsuit. Marcus Ash is pacing around his desk like a shark. Bonnie Bellows is standing in the corner, trying to stay out of Ash's way.]

Reaper: Dammit! This couldn't come at a worse time.

Lassiter: You're telling me.

Bonnie: The lawyers have said that this thing appears to be for real. They won't know how much merit the case has until they can do some research, but their first impressions are that this is something we should take very seriously.

Reaper: Dammit!

Lassiter: Did you get those reports Bonnie sent you?

Reaper: Yeah, I got 'em. Jesus, who thought it would cost this much to run a wrestling federation. We never had these problems in the OWF, you know.

Lassiter: Well things haven't been going well here, in case you haven't noticed. We lost our deposit for the first show after that damn duck-bombing.

Bonnie: Not to mention the payouts we had to do to prevent even more lawsuits after that brawl in the crowd that ended the show.

Lassiter: Oh, and we got a cease and desist letter from Lars Ulrich about our unlawful use of Blackened at the beginning of the show.

Reaper: Fuckin' Ulrich. I wish someone would give him a buckshot enema, and shut him the fuck up.

Lassiter: Bonnie thinks we've got enough for a handful more shows, tops, before the checks start bouncing. Oh, and the guy from the network called. He said he's showing up in two weeks... for an evaluation of the show. He was pissed that we ignored his official report of the first show, so now he's showing up in person.

Reaper: What? We don't want any network guys sticking their noses in our business.

Lassiter: Tell him that. Right now, the network deal is the only thing providing income into this company. If we lose that, we're toast.

[There is a knock on the door.]

Reaper and Lassiter: Go away!!

[Unheeded, the door swings open and a wheelchair-bound Johnny Lassiter rolls into the room. Behind him, Brian Thorn walks in and stands in one of the corners, looking very business-like.]

Reaper: Looks like the vultures are circling already.

Lassiter: What are you doing here, Ironside?

Johnny Lassiter: Just here to talk a little business. Marcus, Craig... might I have a few minutes of your time?

[Reaper and Craig look at each other. Then, Ash glances at the camera.]

Reaper: Zeke, is that damn thing on?

Zeke: Um, yes.

Reaper: This is a private meeting, you dumb shit! Get out!

[Zeke looks at Craig Lassiter, and Craig nods. Zeke, and the camera, shuffle out of the room. Brian Thorn slams the door behind him. The show cuts back to the LWA announce table.]

Gallivan: That is definitely distressing.

Jim: You're telling me. Ash and Craig Lassiter seem way over their head with this whole Superfed thing.

Gallivan: Well, I think they've been doing a decent job so far, but Johnny Lassiter did make money on the last LWA run. In fact, if memory serves, he was the only promoter to make any money out of the LWA. He also runs a very successful IT company, so he does know how to manage a business.

Jim: Yeah, but does he know wrestling? Say what you want about Craig and the Reaper, they live wrestling.

Gallivan: And what on earth was Brian Thorn doing with Johnny Lassiter? He showed up on our debut program, but didn't say anything of note. Now, he's hanging out with JL. It's all very suspicious if you ask me.

---BREAK---

[The show cuts backstage, to Lee Todd's personal dressing room. There is a jacuzzi, a weight bench, and a large steel bucket filled with ice and champagne. A sign on the champagne reads, "Courtesy of Craig Lassiter and the LWA." Lee is sitting on a vibrating reclining chair. Lola is standing against the wall. She seems to be offering her man a little moral support and confidence building.]

Lola: Come on you can do this; who's the champ?

Todd: Archangel?

Lola: No, you're the champ.

Todd: Gee, then someone better go tell Archy he looks rediculous walking around in that awful fashion blunder of a belt.

Lola: Come on, it's time to head to the ring.

[The show cuts back to ringside, where Ryan Lockheart is standing in the ring. The camera pans over to show the front row on one of the sides of the ring, which is almost entirely filled with Shane Brandon and his entourage. Hoss Titan beams a huge smile at the camera, but Shane seems engrossed in a UWS program, and refuses to acknowledge the camera.]

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a non-title match. Coming to the ring at this time, from Tampa Bay Florida, and weighing in at 376 lbs... PACO!!!

[Paco's Music blares over the PA as the stadium lights go out. The lights flicker as Paco runs down the aisle. The lights come on fully and Paco jumps into the ring ready to fight.]

Lockheart: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England, and weighing in at 232 lbs... he is the LWA/Beast Heavyweight Champion... LEE F'N' TODD!!!

[The lights in the arena dim as Sweet Child of Mine rips through the arena, dry ice fills the aisle as Lee F'n' Todd steps through the curtain a bottle of brown ale held high above his head in his left hand. A two fingered salute on his right. Strolling down the aisle he's followed by a trench coat clad Lola. Making a slow march to the ring he hops up on the apron knocks back his ale before handing the bottle to Lola. Climbing through the middle rope he pauses like an agitated Lion staring at Paco.]

[Lee is distracted, however, when he spies Shane Brandon and company in the front row.]

Jim: Did Titan Industries buy up the whole front row?

Gallivan: Just about. Well, Paco is still a free agent, so he cannot wrestle for the LWA/Beast Heavyweight Title. But, regardless of that, this one should be a great match.

Jim: I'll believe that when I see it.

Gallivan: Paco still looks steamed over Lee's rather insulting actions earlier. He charges at Lee, but he rolls out of the way of his grasp... and bails out of the ring!

Jim: Lee's a master of human chess.

Gallivan: Where'd you get that one, from Larry Zybysco?

Jim: You got it. I even got his autograph. He IS the real living legend, you know.

Gallivan: Whatever.

Jim: Hey, don't make me send you to Browski-land.

Gallivan: Julio puts a count on Todd, but Paco isn't about to wait. He steps over the top rope and drops to the floor. Now, he's chasing Lee around the ring! Lee is faster than Paco, and is taunting the big man as he evades him... and now he's running backwards! Waitaminute... Lee's fallen! He tripped on a piece of cabling, and lands on his ass. Paco reaches him, and drives a boot square into his chest!

Jim: Well, Lee did manage to get Paco breathing heavy, but not much else.

Gallivan: Typical Friday night for Lee, hey Jim?

Jim: Don't be so crude, Johnny.

Gallivan: Just when I think I've got you figured out, Jim. Paco grabs Lee by the face... and slams him back-first into the ringpost! Julio Suave has rolled out of the ring, and he's trying to get Paco back in the ring.

Jim: Paco ain't listening.

Gallivan: Paco shoves Julio out of the way, and heads back after Lee, who is on the floor. He reaches at Lee... but Todd kicks out a boot into the big man's groin! Julio didn't see that blatant lowblow.

Jim: Lee must have dealt him 11, because Paco has doubled up.

Gallivan: What?

Jim: It's a blackjack reference.

Gallivan: I need a roadmap to figure out that reference, Jim.

Jim: Hey, at least it's original. All the good phrases have already been said.

Gallivan: Lee is up, but he catches sight of Shane Brandon in the front row!

[Brandon just smiles at Lee, but the LWA/Beast Champion seems to take exception to this. He makes a move towards Brandon, but Shane's security immediately step in to protect The Threat.]

Jim: He's not getting anywhere near Brandon.

Gallivan: I'm not sure if he wants to, actually Jim. I think Lee is posturing more than anything else. Hang on, Paco is back up! He staggers towards Lee... AND CLOTHESLINES HIM INTO THE SECURITY RAILING!

Jim: Hey, he nearly knocked over Hoss's popcorn!

Gallivan: With that lapse in concentration, Paco has the upper hand. He's still walking rather gingerly after that boot in the goolies, but he's on the offensive.

Jim: Paco is always offensive.

Gallivan: He grabs Lee by the hair... and slams his head into the ring apron! Now, the Mexican Giant rolls Lee back into the ring and follows him in. Julio chases both men in. Now, Paco drags Lee back to his feet... AND LEE SPITS IN HIS FACE!

Jim: That's effective.

Gallivan: Paco swings at Lee, but he ducks it... and leaps on Paco's back for a Sleeper! Paco is trying to shake him off, and now Lee is just firing punches into the side of Paco's head! He drops off his back... and Dropkicks Paco chestfirst into the corner! The big man bounces out... AND WALKS INTO A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!!

Jim: Nice move. Todd used Paco's momentum to do all the work for him.

Gallivan: Now, Lee drops onto Paco for the cover... 1... NO! He's choking him!

[Lee blatantly chokes Paco with his elbow, whilst appealing to Julio Suave.]

Gallivan: Julio's having none of that, and immediately puts a count on Lee. Lee breaks after the second 5 count, barely avoiding a disqualification.

Jim: Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.

Gallivan: Paco's gasping for breath in there... and Lee locks on an Asiatic Spike!!!

Jim: Bam Bam!

Gallivan: Julio is checking, but Paco doesn't submit. He's struggling to break free, but he's in incredible pain. Paco fires off a punch into the ribs of Lee... and another! He hits Lee with another hard shot in the gut, and that broke the hold! The big man struggles to get to his feet, but Lee comes right back at him! He hits Paco with a Back Elbow to the head, keeping him on his knees. Paco nails Lee with another gut shot, but Lee fires back with an Elbowsmash to the nose! And a Forearm shot to the forehead!

Jim: Ouch! That's plain old fisticuffs, that is.

Gallivan: Now, Lee grabs Paco, and pulls him up to his feet. He whips him off the ropes... and goes for a Backdrop, but Paco leapt clean over him! Paco thunders off the far ropes... but Lee spins around and catches him coming back... HOTSHOT BY LEE F'N' TODD!!!

Jim: Paco thought he had a hard time breathing before. Let's see him try it with a crushed trachea.

Gallivan: Lee immediately capitalizes, and holds down Paco's shoulders for the cover... and plants his feet up on the ropes for leverage! 1... 2... 3! No, waitaminute! Julio waved off the count after seeing Lee's feet on the ropes!

Jim: The champ is not impressed with Julio's officiating in there. And neither am I. Now that Shane Brandon is out of the picture, this guy represents the LWA. He should be able to cut a few corners in there. It's all for the good of the fed.

Gallivan: Julio is having none of Lee's ranting. He tells the champ to get back to the match at hand. Lee appeals to the fans, who actually seem to be giving him some decent applause in there. Paco is very slow to get up, and Lee sees him coming. He steps in towards Paco, and hits him with a Jab to the head! And another! Now, Lee rams his Knee into Paco's midsection... AND HITS A REVERSE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!!! Instead of going for the cover, Lee's heading up to the top rope!

Jim: Not exactly Lee Todd territory, but he's quick to get up there.

Gallivan: Paco is still facedown on the canvas. Lee leaps off the top... AND NAILS PACO WITH A FLYING KNEEDROP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!

Jim: Damn! That big man is out.

Gallivan: Shades of Rick Rude during his NWA Championship days...

Jim: Hey, I do the filler material, Gallivan. You just keep an eye on the match.

Gallivan: Sure thing, Jim. I wouldn't want to intrude on your area of expertise. In the ring, Lee still isn't going for a cover. He's shouting something at Brandon on the outside, and now he's pointing at Paco. Lee drags him up by his hair, turns him over... FUCK U BY LEE TODD!!! These fans are roaring now, and I think they want to see Shane Brandon hit that ring, but the Threat isn't moving. Lee drops onto Paco, and goes for the cover... 1... 2... No! He pulled his shoulder up!

Jim: Ooh, that could be very dangerous. Todd's a great wrestler, but you can't take anybody for granted like that.

Gallivan: Now, Lee drags Paco back to his feet, and he's motioning to Brandon to watch closely... ANOTHER FUCK U BY LEE TODD!!! Now, Lee lies back on Paco's massive frame, and he's staring right at Brandon on the outside while he does it! Julio makes the count... 1... 2... 3! He calls for the bell, and this one is over. Lee Todd has won this one in decisive fashion. It's a shame we won't get to see Brandon and Todd in an LWA ring together, but as far as Lee is concerned, he's already the better of the two.

Jim: But get a load of Brandon on the outside. He's actually applauding Todd.

Gallivan: Well, it's a mocking gesture, to say the least.

[The show cuts backstage. Zeke is standing outside Craig Lassiter's office. He suddenly gets an idea and pulls out his handheld microphone, and places it right up against the door. Although the volume is low, voices can be heard from inside.]

Johnny Lassiter: Duck shit on the fans? That's what you call entertainment? I'm afraid to tell people I still own the LWA.

Lassiter: Actually, I own the LWA.

Johnny Lassiter: Read the contract again, Craig. The UWS is leasing out the LWA license on a per-show basis.

Reaper: What? How much are we paying for this privilege of using the LWA name?

Johnny Lassiter: 10,000 a show.

Reaper: What!?! You got to be kidding me!

[There is some incoherent mumbling.]

Johnny Lassiter: Your ratings are nothing to be proud of. Several sponsors have already dropped out after just one show, and now we can add this Brandon lawsuit to the ever-growing pile. And to make matters worse, you are having shows in Newfoundland of all places! How on earth do you expect to make any money in this shit-pit?

Reaper: Listen, smiley. I didn't come in here for a lecture.

Johnny Lassiter: And I didn't come here to give one. We are here to discuss a solution to your problems as rational businessmen. I'm just pointing out the problems you've already run into after just one show. You think this isn't going to get worse?

[Silence.]

Johnny Lassiter: So... here's what I propose...

[Suddenly, the door swings open, and Zeke falls into the room. Brian Thorn easily picks up Zeke, and tosses him out of the room, but not before snapping his microphone in half. Zeke looks up pitifully as Thorn slams the door shut once again.]

---BREAK---

[The show cuts backstage as Zeke and his camera are let back into Craig Lassiter's office. Marcus Ash and Craig Lassiter are looking over a new binder of paper while Johnny Lassiter and Brian Thorn are talking quietly to themselves. Johnny Lassiter is smiling as he notices the distraught faces on Ash and Craig.]

Johnny Lassiter: Gentlemen, your worries are all for naught. Despite the fact that I and my investors now own the UWS, we will run it like any other business. You both can continue to run your respective divisions in any way you see fit. But, I will now be in charge of the finances. Believe me, it's for the better.

Reaper: I find it hard to believe that you won't be making any changes. I learned a long time ago never to trust a Lassiter.

Johnny Lassiter: That's not a bad lesson to learn, Marcus. But believe me, you won't even know we are here. Some changes will have to be made, though. For a start, we are leaving Newfoundland as soon as this show is over. There isn't enough money in this entire province to support a wrestling federation of this size, let alone this city. I'm thinking Montreal or Toronto for a start, but it'll be difficult to book the proper sized arena on such short notice. You can keep signing wrestlers to contracts, but all salaries will be taken care of by me.

[Johnny starts to wheel himself out of the room, with Thorn following him.]

Johnny Lassiter: Gentlemen, don't look so down. I've just made your jobs so much easier. You concentrate on what goes on in that ring, and I'll worry about making sure there are people sitting in the seats, and enough money in the coffers to pay everyone involved.

[The two of them leave the room.]

Lassiter: I got a bad feeling about this.

Reaper: You and me both.

[The show cuts back to ringside.]

Jim: Johnny Lassiter now owns the UWS? JL must have a silver tongue to have convinced Ash and Craig to sell out.

Gallivan: Well, with the problems that we've had so far, I don't know if they had much of a choice.

---BREAK---

[The show cuts backstage, where Zeke is interviewing Sean Lassiter.]

Zeke: Sean, after the beating you took two weeks ago, how are you doing?

Sean: Well Zeke, I knew this business would be tough, so I take my lumps when I'm given them. Dagon may have left me lying in that ring, but he made the mistake of not finishing the job. So, big man, I'm calling you out! I may be half the size of you, and I may still be a rookie, but I'm also a Lassiter! And I'm not about to go down without a fight.

[Sean Lassiter stares into the camera, showing much more emotion than ever before. Then, there is a loud bellow from off-camera, and a figure charges into shot.]

Gallivan: It's Judas Dagon!!! Dagon just Mafia Kicked Sean Lassiter! Where the hell did he come from?

Jim: A guy that size you should at least see coming. He damn near decapitated Sean with that kick. I don't think we'll be seeing Sean VS Dagon II. Sean couldn't do anything against him when he was teamed up with Ken Holbrook. He's got even less of a chance on his own after being sucker-kicked.

Gallivan: Zeke has wisely given this beast as much room as he needs. Dagon reaches down and drags the limp Sean to his feet. He hoists him up for a Gorilla Press!!! NO!!!

[Instead of pressing Sean to the floor, Dagon throws him, headfirst, into a nearby wall. Sean's goes clean through the wall material, as far as his chest. His body collapses as a huge section of the wall breaks free, dropping him to the floor.]

Gallivan: DEAR GOD!!!

Jim: He threw him like a dart!

Gallivan: Get some security back there, for heaven's sake! Sean Lassiter is lying in a heap amidst what's left of that wall. From here, it looks like he's got some serious cuts to his neck and shoulders, and he's completely out.

[Dagon stares at the camera, and starts to move towards it. Then, behind him, Dasher Ufung steps into the room. He slaps Dagon across the back of the head, forcefully. Dagon freezes, and slowly turns around to face Ufung.]

Ufung: Cha cha cha cha cha!!!

[Judas Dagon sneers at Ufung, then grabs him by the throat. He hoists up Ufung, and choke-shoves him directly into a steel support beam. Ufung hits, back-first, with a meaty thunk, then drops to the ground. Dagon looks at him, then leaps into the air, bringing his entire bulk down onto Ufung with a Standing Senton Bomb.]

Gallivan: Good God!

[There is a groan from Ufung, followed by exasperated gasps as he strives to breathe again. The camera swings wildly, as Dagon shoves his way past Zeke, and the Syni-tron cuts to static. After a few seconds, the camera closes in on the announce table.]

Gallivan: Fans, we've lost our feed from backstage, and we are working to get some semblance of control around here.

Jim: Jeez, that poor kid didn't stand a chance. And what the hell was Ufung thinking?

Gallivan: I just hope Sean is ok, but this Dagon is a vicious monster. He shows no rhyme or reason, he just enjoys hurting people.

Jim: Hey, I enjoy hurting people, but Dagon is something entirely different. It's like he's fueled on the suffering of others.

Gallivan: Fans... I'm being told that we are going to throw it to Ryan Lockheart in the ring... No... No, we are going backstage once again.

[The show cuts backstage, back to the scene of destruction. The UWS medical team, headed by Doc Andrews, are attending to Sean Lassiter. Sean has been secured on a stretcher, and the crew is currently fitting him with a neckbrace. Dr. Zamboolah is attending to Dasher Ufung, who is holding his ribs and laboring to breathe.]

Gallivan: They are going to secure Sean's neck here, just in case. I'm being told that Dagon is gone, but security has not been able to get their hands on him yet.

[Suddenly, the figure of Gabriel Blade storms through the room, past the camera. Zeke struggles to keep up with him and he tears off through the door.]

Gabriel Blade: Where is he! Where's Dagon!

[Gabe runs into another room where several tables of concessions have been upturned. A man who is most likely a vendor is down on the ground, holding a wad of cotton candy up to a cut on his head. Gabe grabs the man roughly by the collar.]

Gabriel Blade: Where is he! Where's Dagon!!

[The man points out through the opposite door, and Gabe heads out. Zeke rushes to follow him. Gabe heads through another scene of carnage, but runs right into Craig Lassiter, who had stepped out in front of him. Craig was looking at the damage with awe, and seems shocked to see Gabe.]

Lassiter: Holy hotrods from heck! What in the name of the baby Jesus are you doing!?!

Gabriel Blade: Out of my way, Lassiter. I'm taking down this monster before he can do any more damage.

Lassiter: Kid, I told you to save it for the pay-per-view. If not for me, for your own good. Dagon's a monster. Do you want to end up like everyone else?

[Gabe tries to push past him, but Craig stops him. Gabe holds up a fist, as if to threaten him.]

Lassiter: That's it, I'm tired of this... get your ass to the ring.

Gabriel Blade: What? I don't have a match tonight.

Lassiter: Well it's a good thing you're wearing your gear, cause you do now!

Gabriel Blade: To hell with you!

Lassiter: Either you get to that ring or I'll send you to the OWF and you'll never get your hands on Dagon.

[Gabe stares at Craig, still holding his clenched fist up. After a few seconds, he relents. Gabe curses under his breath, and heads towards the ring area. As he leaves, Craig breathes a sigh of relief.]

[The show cuts to ringside.]

Gallivan: Fans, tonight has been completely chaotic, even moreso than usual.

Jim: And we've only had one match.

Gallivan: Well, that's about to change. I don't know who he's taking on, but apparently, Gabriel Blade is on his way to the ring.

Jim: That's the safest place to be, what with Dagon roaming the backstage area.

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, from Athens, Greece, and weighing in at 246 lbs... "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

["And Justice For All" plays as Gabriel Blade steps onto the entrance ramp. Those observant of the human soul can easily see the wonder and awe still there in his eyes as he surveys the scene before turning to face the ring and marching resolutely forward. Gabe is red-faced and is looking rather frustrated.]

Lockheart: And his opponent. Making his way to the ring, standing at 6 feet tall and weighing in at 235 lbs, from Hollywood, California, he is the ultimate model of perfection in a mortal man, he is, BRIAN THORN!!!

Gallivan: What?! How did Craig Lassiter swing this one?

Jim: Well, we saw Thorn hanging out with Johnny Lassiter the new owner of the UWS. So, I guess he lent Craig his man's services for the night. Looks like Thorn is a corporate whore. (laughs)

Gallivan: This is very confusing, Jim. And it just gets more disturbing as time goes on.

[In Thorn's voice we hear the word "Ultimate" over the sound system as a spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp to a waiting Thorn. "Model" is spoken the same way as another spotlight hits him from a different angle, and Thorn raises his arms in acceptance of the appreciation the fans must have for him. "Of" is heard as a third spotlight shines down on the man with the million-dollar smile. "Perfection" sounds in Thorn's voice as a fourth and final spotlight engulfs Thorn. Suddenly "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool plays over the sound system and all four spotlights follow Thorn down the entrance ramp. On the Syni-tron we see images of Thorn in his glory, hitting the Double Take, flashing his "million dollar" smile, women hanging off of both arms, and then a closeup of the arrogant face. Thorn takes his time walking down the entrance ramp, letting his music play through. In the ring, Gabe is pacing back and forth, waitin for an end to this spectacle. Once in the ring he flashes his "million dollar" smile once again, the music fades, and the lights come back on.]

Gallivan: Regardless of the circumstances fans, this one could be an incredible contest. Thorn smiles at Gabe... and he charges him! Gabe spears Thorn to the mat, and he's firing lefts and rights into the head of the model of perfection!

Jim: Hey, don't mess up the hair!

Gallivan: These guys couldn't be any more different. Thorn is careful and deliberate, and Gabe is a creature of instinct and emotion.

Jim: Well, instinct and emotion are pounding the piss out of careful and deliberate right now.

Gallivan: Thorn is covering up, and Julio Suave is watching intently. Finally, Thorn manages to cover up completely. Hang on, he reaches his legs up behind Gabe, and hooks him under the shoulders, pulling him back for a cover! 1... Kickout by Gabriel Blade!

Jim: That was a kind of sitting sunset flip.

Gallivan: Thorn scrambles to his feet, but Gabe is up just as fast. They lock up, and Thorn applies a Hammerlock, pushing Gabe back into the corner. Both men are in the ropes, and Julio steps in to break up the clinch. They break... and Thorn Snap Kicks Gabe right in the side of the leg!

Jim: That just pissed him off.

Gallivan: Gabe swings at Thorn, but he ducks back, avoiding the punch by millimetres. Thorn fires off a Front Kick to the upper thigh of Gabe. He motions for Gabe to bring it on, and the kid is just sneering at him. Thorn goes for another kick to the left leg... but Gabe catches his foot!

Jim: Thorn's got pretty good balance for hopping on one foot.

Gallivan: Thorn takes a few swings at Gabe, but he can't reach. Gabe spins Thorn around by the leg... and hits him with a Lariat! He knocked Thorn to the mat, but the perfect one rolls backward to get to his feet again. Gabe comes at him... but walks into a Standing Dropkick to the chin!

Jim: Thorn got nice height on that dropkick. He's certainly brought his A-game here tonight.

Gallivan: Well, neither of these men knew they would be wrestling tonight, but Gabe didn't even know Thorn was going to be in the building. The Sentinel is still quick to get up, but Thorn is quicker to capitalize. He dances towards Gabe, and hits him with a Spinning Kick to the side of the head! The kid goes down, and Thorn immediately grabs him by the leg, and applies a Half Crab!

Jim: He's dismantling Gabe piece by piece.

[Then, without any music, Craig Lassiter walks down the entrance ramp, and takes a seat at the announce table. He looks completely exhausted as he puts on a spare headset.]

Gallivan: Good of you to join us, boss.

Lassiter: Johnny, do me a favor and take this friggin' albatross off my neck, would ya?

Jim: Not having a good night?

Lassiter: What was your first clue? The lawsuit?

[From his front row seat, Shane Brandon waves at Craig Lassiter. Craig gives him the finger in return.]

Gallivan: So, boss do you want to explain why were are being treated to this match?

Lassiter: Look, I don't really have to explain myself, but I'm going to anyway. Backstage is a nightmare. We've got bodies all over the place... it looks like friggin' Vietnam back there. Gabe running around with a hard-on for Dagon is only causing more problems.

Gallivan: Do you want to comment on the fact that Thorn appears to be deliberately trying to injure the Sentinel?

Lassiter: Look, I just told him to get out there and keep him busy. I mean, it's for the kid's own good. I thought by putting Dagon's match on last, he wouldn't show up until later.

Jim: Well, that kinda blew up in your face, didn't it?

Lassiter: Et tu, Jim?

Jim: Hey, don't quote Shakespeare to me, buddy boy.

Gallivan: Julio is checking on Gabe, but we know from his previous work in the LWA that this kid is not going to submit. Thorn is taking a breather in the ring... and he's adjusting his hair with his free hand!

Jim: Gotta love him.

Gallivan: Thorn goes back to using two hands, and pulls back on the Half Crab. Gabe is trying to pull himself closer to the ropes, but it's slow going. Waitaminute! Thorn releases the hold... and turns it into an STF! Thorn's been very picky in that ring, focusing on the left leg of the Sentinel. He hasn't wasted any effort in there as of yet. Again, Julio checks on Gabe, but the kid doesn't look like he's going to give up yet.

Jim: Hey boss, people have been asking me just what's up with the LWA title. Is Todd the champion, or Brandon?

Lassiter: Well, the original plan was to have Lee Todd and Brandon face off to unify the title. As you may know, the UWS Unified World Heavyweight Title will be on the line at our first pay-per-view. Most likely, the LWA Division Champion will face the OWF Division Champion for that honor. But, after Shane Brandon's actions tonight, you can bet he won't be stepping in an LWA ring while I'm alive.

Jim: So, does that mean Lee Todd will be going for the UWS title?

Lassiter: I don't know, Jim. Waitaminute, yes I do. The winner of this match tonight will face Lee Todd on our next show to determine a real LWA Division Champion. As of right now, the LWA World Title and the LWA/Beast World Title are both vacant and retired.

Gallivan: You just decided that on a whim?

Lassiter: Don't second guess me, Gallivan. Despite the goings-on tonight, I do know what I'm doing.

Gallivan: If you'll forgive me, we have a match going on.

Jim: A number 1 contenders match.

Gallivan: Good point, Jim. Gabriel Blade has dragged himself and Thorn halfway across the ring... and he finally reaches the ropes! Julio calls for the break, and after raking Gabe across the eyes with his forearm, he complies. Thorn is up and waits on Gabe. He hits him with another Snap Kick, this time to the ribs as he tries to stand. Gabe staggers back into the corner, and covers up. Thorn is too smart to come in after him, and he just waits on Gabe in the middle of the ring. The Sentinel puts some pressure on his leg to test it, comes out of the corner, and locks up with Thorn. The jostle for position, and Gabe finally powers Thorn back against the ropes. He breaks the lockup, and fires a heavy Forearm shot to the chest of Thorn! And another! Gabe hammers Thorn with another beefy Forearm shot, and we can hear those shots from down here.

Jim: Whenever Gabe gets in a pickle, he can always go back to good old fashioned power and intensity.

Gallivan: In a pickle? Did Ventura teach you that one?

Jim: Nope... Mike Tenay. Come to think of it, call me Jim "The Professor" Browski.

Gallivan: I'll do no such thing. In the ring, Gabe Irish Whips Thorn off the ropes, hard. He catches him coming back... Huge Backdrop by the Sentinel! Gabe bounces off the ropes... and hits Thorn with an Elbowdrop! He hooks the leg, and Julio's there for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men raise up to their knees... and Gabe punches Thorn in the face! Thorn fires back with a couple of shots of his own, and now both men are brawling in the ring, still on their knees. Thorn hits Gabe with a Palm Thrust to the bridge of the nose, and that stung him. Thorn hops to his feet... AND KICKS GABE IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD!

Jim: That shot knocked him for a loop, but the kid is still getting up.

Gallivan: Gabe's back to his feet, but Thorn is ready. He fires a low Dropkick right on the left kneecap! That dropped him like a stone. Thorn grabs Gabe by the foot... and locks on a Leg Grapevine! He's dissecting Gabriel Blade in that ring.

Lassiter: Well, regardless of who wins this match, they should put on a great match against Lee Todd next show. I don't mind saying, despite the fact that Archangel is a great wrestler, the UWS Unified Title will be in the hands of an LWA superstar in a month's time.

Jim: That'll be a feather in your cap.

Lassiter: It's not about who owns the champion, Jim. It's all about competition, and success for the UWS as a whole.

Jim: But still...

Lassiter: Yeah, I can't wait to see the look on Reaper's face when Lee Todd dismantles whomever he puts in there against him.

Gallivan: You mean Lee Todd, or Gabriel Blade, or Brian Thorn, don't you?

Lassiter: Yeah, whatever.

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade is in a world of hurt in there, but the kid isn't giving Thorn much of a chance. He's dragging both men towards the ropes once again... slowly but surely.

Jim: Yeah, he may break out of the hold, but he's expending a lot of energy to do it. He's playing right into Thorn's gameplan.

Gallivan: Julio is right there watching carefully, but it looks like Gabe has reached the bottom rope. Julio puts a count on Brian Thorn, and he releases the hold. Thorn is back up, and Gabe clamors back to his feet. He's definitely favoring that left leg right now, and who can blame him? Gabe uses the ropes for balance, but Thorn comes in after him... Spinning Back Kick to the midsection by Thorn... WHICH SENDS GABRIEL BLADE THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR!

Jim: This kid should stay out there. He's just getting his ass handed to him.

Gallivan: Julio puts a count on Gabe, and Thorn just waits patiently in the middle of the ring. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4... The Sentinel is pulling himself back to his feet, but that tumble to the concrete floor didn't do his leg any favors. Julio reaches 7, but Gabe rolls back into the ring. Thorn is right there, and slams a Double Ax-handle down across Gabe's back... and locks on a Front Facelock. He drags Gabe back to the middle of the ring. But, Gabe isn't going down without a fight here. He snaps off a punch into Thorn's midsection... and another! Hang on, Gabe lifts Thorn off the canvas! He's holding him up on just one foot. Gabe locks a Bearhug onto Thorn, forcing him to release the front facelock! The fans are back into this one as the Sentinel is just squeezing the life out of Brian Thorn!

Jim: It looks like the kid is giving it one last go in there. He must be exhausted.

Gallivan: Gabe staggers forward, slamming Thorn into the turnbuckle! He steps back out, repositions... AND DROPS THORN WITH A URINAGE!!! He hooks the leg, and this could be it... 1.. 2.. Kickout by Thorn! That may have been Gabriel Blade's last wind. He drags himself back to his feet, and now it's Gabe who is waiting on Thorn. He grabs the Perfect One as he gets up... Gutwrench Suplex by the Sentinel! He drops onto Thorn's chest... AND APPLIES THE GATEWAY TO ETERNITY!!!

Jim: Woah!

Gallivan: Thorn is the one who is in trouble in there now, as Gabe locks on that mandible claw! Julio is checking Thorn, whose shoulders are also down on the mat. Whether it be from submission or pinfall, it looks like Thorn could very well lose this match. Julio checks his shoulders, and makes the count... 1... 2... No! Thorn got a shoulder up! Gabe powers Thorn back to the mat, and Julio makes the count again... 1... 2... 3! No! Brian Thorn managed to get a shoulder up one more time! Waitaminute! Thorn brings his legs up behind Gabe, and hooks him under his arms! Gabe is struggling to use this leverage to hold Thorn to the mat, but he doesn't have the energy to do it! Thorn pulls Gabe backwards, just as he had done at the beginning of the match! Gabe's shoulders are now on the canvas, and Thorn snaps off an Elbow to Gabe's arm, breaking the mandible claw! Julio is there for the count on Gabe... 1... 2... NO! Gabe hooks Thorn's shoulders just as he had done, and pulls Thorn's shoulders down to the mat! 1... 2... Kickout by Thorn!!!

Jim: Phew. Julio's got his work cut out for him in that ring tonight.

Gallivan: Both men are winded, but scramble to be the first one up. Gabe swings at Thorn, but he ducks... AND CATCHES GABE WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Brian Thorn bridges back into a pin, and this could be it! 1... 2... NO! The Sentinel broke out of it at the last possible second!

Jim: I thought it was over right there.

Gallivan: Again, they regain their vertical bases, and Thorn fires off a front kick at Gabe, but he catches his foot! Gabe heels Thorn's other foot, dropping him to the mat, and now he's trying to turn him over for a Boston Crab! Thorn is fighting back, because he knows that Gabe will be trying to break him in half if he locks on this submission hold. He reaches back for the ropes, but he's too far away. Hang on! Thorn breaks his upper torso out from under Gabe, and pulls himself up! He grabs Gabe by the hair with both hands, and now he's holding himself up. Gabe still has Thorn's feet, but his right leg is starting to strain, as it's taking the weight of both men. Gabe is forced to release Thorn's feet, but he grabs him around the waist... BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX BY GABRIEL BLADE!!! He hooks one of Thorn's legs and folds him over, and here's the count... 1... 2... NO! Brian Thorn kicked out yet again!

Jim: This could go all night!

Gallivan: Both men are slow to get up, and I think they've been throwing anything and everything at each other in there.

Jim: If they had a gameplan when they came in, it's out the window at this point.

Gallivan: Gabe swings, and catches Thorn with a wild punch across the head. He hits him with another one that rocks the Perfect One, sending him against the ropes. Thorn comes back with another Snap Kick that hits a bullseye on Gabe's hurt left leg! Gabe grabs Thorn... and smashes him with a Headbutt!

Jim: I heard that! That move probably hurt Gabe as much as it did Thorn. But the kid is working on instinct in there now.

Gallivan: The Sentinel grabs Thorn... AND IRISH WHIPS HIM HARD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! He damn near fell down himself after that toss! Thorn staggers out of the corner, and he's doubled over. Gabe heads over and sets him up for what looks like a Powerbomb! Thorn pulls off a nasty looking Forearm shot to Gabe's left knee, breaking the hold! Thorn rams his shoulder into Gabe's stomach, and locks his arms around him... NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX BY BRIAN THORN!!! He's got the bridge, and Juli makes the count... 1... 2... 3! Waitaminute, Gabe kicked out! No, Julio is calling for the bell! Thorn just managed to pull off the 3 count, but that was damn close!

Jim: This match could have gone either way. Gabriel Blade is one guy who fights hurt better than most people fight healthy.

Gallivan: Julio calls for the bell and this one is official. Both men are still laying on the mat, but Thorn is the first one to get up. He staggers into the corner, and he's saying something to Julio. I can't make out what it is.

Jim: I think he asked Julio if his hair was still in place... which it is.

Gallivan: Fans, Gabriel Blade is completely spent in that ring, and he's holding that left knee as well. UWS security is already in there, checking on him.

[Craig Lassiter gets up from his announce position, grabs a microphone, and heads into the ring. First, he checks on Gabriel Blade.]

Gallivan: Craig Lassiter is directing the ring crew to help Gabe out of the ring. The kid doesn't want any help, but he's unable to stand up, so he's going to have to be carried out of that ring.

Jim: Jeez, Lassiter's looking pretty damned guilty in there.

Gallivan: That's what I was thinking.

[With Gabe taken care of, Craig heads over to the other corner, and congratulates Brian Thorn.]

Lassiter: Ladies and gentlemen, can we get another round of applause for these fine athletes?

[The crowd gives them a huge cheer, which turns to boos as Craig raises Thorn's hand.]

Lassiter: Now, play nice. LWA, OWF, and UWS fans... it is my great honor to announce that, as a result of this win, in two weeks time, on UWS Blackened, Brian Thorn will face Lee F'n' Todd for the vacant LWA Division Championship! (he looks down at Shane Brandon at ringside) You can take that old LWA World Title home with you, Brandon, because as of this moment, it's retired! Brian Thorn and Lee Todd will burn this house down to determine the real LWA champion!

Gallivan: That should be a classic, Jim.

Jim: Sure will. Brian Thorn looked as good as ever tonight, and we all know what Lee Todd is capable of.

Lassiter: Now, in order for you to wrestle for the LWA Division Title, Thorn, you have to have a valid contract. So, I'd like to also take this opportunity to offer you a spot on the LWA roster... full time.

[Craig beams a smile at Thorn, who beams one back. He leans into range of the mic, and speaks.]

Brian Thorn: No thanks.

[With that, Thorn bails out of the ring, and starts walking down the entrance ramp towards the back. Craig Lassiter just stands there, his jaw nearly dropping to the mat.]

Gallivan: What? Brian Thorn just gave up a shot at the LWA title!

Jim: Just like that. No thanks? You know what this means? It means that Ash has gotten to him first. I guarantee that you'll see Thorn wrestling for the OWF before you know it.

Gallivan: Well, that's the only reason I can think of. Craig Lassiter looks pissed in that ring now. He rolls out to the floor, and now he's leaving the ring area.

Jim: So, who does Lee Todd take on next show?

Gallivan: Your guess is as good as mine, Jim. Fans, security is helping Gabriel Blade out of the ring. This kid showed a lot of heart in there tonight, and despite this loss, I believe we are looking at a future world champion.

---BREAK---

[The show cuts back to ringside, where Ryan Lockheart is waiting in the ring.]

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, from Queens, New York and weighing in at 221 lbs... SCAR!!!

[The lights dim and "Stitches" by Orgy plays. Soon after, a man of cruiserweight size steps out onto the stage. His scarred and pierced face is partially covered by his shoulder length coal black hair. Suddenly, Scar runs to the ring at full speed, sliding under the bottom rope and leaning in the corner, the expression on his cold face sending a chill down many spines.]

Gallivan: Well, Scar was on his way to becoming a real contender when the LWA shut down, so some of his best work was done elsewhere. But, I expect to see a lot from this kid this time around.

Jim: Stop kissing up.

Lockheart: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Boston, MA, and weighing in at 257 lbs... "DEMOLITION MAN" MICHAEL BURKE!!!

[The fans give a decent reception for Michael Burke, who steps through the entrance curtain to silence. He walks towards the ring in his wrestling gear with a very determined look on his face.]

Jim: This guy must be good. He doesn't even need any entrance music.

Gallivan: This should be a good one. Both men are eyeing each other up in that ring, circling around the ring, waiting for an opening. Burke's got the size advantage, but Scar can be incredibly quick in there, not to mention his ability absorb an awful lot of pain. Scar goes for a lockup, but Burke hits him with a Jab to the face! He follows it up with a left cross that sends Scar back a few steps!

Jim: Didn't Burke used to be a boxer?

Gallivan: He sure did. Scar shoots on Burke past his fists, and tackles him to the mat! Now Scar is in the mount position, and he's firing punches into the head of Burke! Demolition Man is covering up pretty well, but some of those shots are finding their mark. The two scramble for control... and Burke hits Scar with a nasty knuckle shot to the nose!

Jim: Yeah, but he's throwing leather from the floor, so that's going to reduce the effect of those punches.

Gallivan: Burke goes for another punch, but Scar grabs his arm... AND LOCKS ON AN ARMBAR! He's got his legs locked across Burke's chest, and the Demolition Man is in a hell of a lot of pain right now!

Jim: What is this, the UFC? Let's see some wrestling!

Gallivan: Veteran LWA ref Julio Suave is checking on Burke, but it doesn't look like he's going to give. Burke reaches for the ropes, but he's just a few inches short! Waitaminute! Michael Burke bridges his body up, and gets back to his feet! Scar is still hanging off that arm, but Burke lifts him up. He grabs Scar with his free arm... AND POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE MAT!!!

Jim: Whoah! He dropped Scar nearly on the top of his head, and still didn't break that hold!

Gallivan: That move hurt Burke an awful lot, but he's got the presence of mind to hold Scar's shoulders to the mat... 1... 2... No! Scar kicked out, but had to break the armbar to do it! He scrambles to his feet, but walks into a Knee to the Midsection by Burke! Demolition Man grabs him by the arm... and fires him into the turnbuckle! Burke takes a second to shake the kinks out of his arm, but Scar comes right back out! Scar charges him, and Baseball Slides between his legs! He flips up to his feet behind Burke... AND MULE KICKS HIM IN THE KIDNEYS!!!

Jim: Scar looks pretty organized in that ring tonight.

Gallivan: He reaches back, grabs Burke by the hair... AND DROPS HIM WITH A HANGMAN'S NECKBREAKER! Scar hooks the leg of Burke, and this could be it... 1... 2... Kickout by Burke! Scar grabs both of Burke's feet as he gets up... and plants a double Legdrop into the groin of Burke!

Jim: Nasty! I love it!

Gallivan: Julio is warning Scar, but he's letting this match continue. Burke is struggling to get up as Scar heads off the far ropes. He comes back as Burke is on his hands and knees... AND THROWS A LOW DROPKICK INTO THE RIBS OF BURKE!

Jim: That spun the big man onto his back, and so far Burke is getting outwrestled.

Gallivan: Scar is impressive in there tonight, to say the least. He runs at Burke, and hits him with a Double Stomp to the guts!

Jim: Kevin Sullivan in the house!

Gallivan: Instead of giving Burke a second to catch his breath, Scar bounces off the ropes... Asai Moonsault on Burke... BUT MICHAEL BURKE GOT HIS KNEES UP!

Jim: Defensive move, but both of these guys look like they can hold their own in a streetfight, so I'm not surprised.

Gallivan: Burke's still in pain, but he's not taking much time to recoup. He grabs the winded Scar by the hair, and pulls him up. Burke hoists him up for a Bearhug... then turns it into a Standing Sidewalk Slam! Now he hooks the leg, and here's the count... 1... 2... Kickout by Scar! Burke rolls onto Scar's chest, and starts firing punches into his head! He's pummelling Scar with lefts and rights until Julio pulls him off!!!

Jim: Julio did what?

Gallivan: He pulled Burke off Scar.

Jim: Oh, for a second there I thought Julio was a friend of Dorothy.

Gallivan: Huh? Burke wastes just a few seconds telling Julio what he thinks of him, then goes back to work. Scar gets up on his own, but Burke is right there waiting on him. He grabs Scar, and hoists him for a Vertical Suplex! He held Scar up there for a few seconds, and floated over for the cover... 1... 2... No! Kickout by Scar yet again! Burke takes an opportunity to nail Scar with a quick right Jab into the temple before dragging him to his feet. He grabs Scar with both hands... AND HURLS HIM HARD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!!!

Jim: Man, that was impact!

Gallivan: Scar hit hard, and dropped to the canvas after that move. He struggles to his feet as Burke advances. Mike Burke swings a Haymaker at Scar, but he ducks, and tries for a Back Suplex! Hang on... Burke holds on! He cranks down on a Side Headlock on Scar... THEN BULLDOGS HIM TO THE MAT!!!

Jim: That's it. This one's over.

Gallivan: Burke came down hard on that move, and is favoring his ribs a little as he rolls Scar over for the nonchalant cover... 1... 2... Scar got a shoulder up! Michael Burke didn't expect that, and now he hooks Scar's leg... 1... 2... Kickout!!! Burke slams his hands onto the mat, then clamors to his feet. He grabs Scar as he too gets up, by the hair... AND SPINS HIM ACROSS THE RING BY HIS HAIR!!!

Jim: First these guys thought they were in the UFC, now they think they're in GLOW!

Gallivan: Scar rolls into the corner, and scrambles to his feet. He covers up in the corner as Burke comes in after him. Waitaminute, Scar launches himself out of the corner, Dropkicking Michael Burke in the chest! He pushed off that top turnbuckle to get more height and power on that move, and it dropped Burke to the canvas. But, the Demolition Man isn't staying down for long. Scar catches him with a hard Kick to the head before he can get up! Burke is up, and swings at Scar... BUT SCAR CATCHES HIM FOR A CRUCIFIX! Julio is there for the count... 1... 2... NO! Scar had Burke's shoulders locked in, but the Demolition Man just powered out of that move! Both men regain their vertical base, and Burke grabs Scar by the throat! He hoists him up for a Chokeslam... BUT SCAR REVERSES IT INTO A TORNADO DDT!!!

Jim: Holy crap!

Gallivan: That took a lot out of the plucky cruiserweight, and now both men are down on the mat. Julio puts a count on both of them, but Scar rolls over onto Burke... 1... 2... No! Burke got a shoulder up, and this match is not over! Scar doesn't let that bother him. He's up and boots Burke right in the side of the head, rolling him over onto his stomach! Scar straddles his back... AND LOCKS ON A CAMEL CLUTCH!

Jim: For a small man, he's getting an awful lot of crank on the Demolition Man, and Burke is in real trouble in there.

Gallivan: Good gravy, our cameraman is getting a firsthand look of the pained expression on Michael Burke's face. The camel clutch is one of the most difficult moves to break out of. Julio is checking on Burke, but he's somehow hanging on. Waitaminute! Michael Burke is somehow lifting himself off the mat! He crawls up to his hands an knees... and Scar breaks the hold!

Jim: What?

Gallivan: Scar drills Burke across the trapezius with two Karate Chops! Now, he repositions... AND HOISTS MICHAEL BURKE UP FOR A MEXICAN SURFBOARD!!!

Jim: That's it! This is over!

Gallivan: These fans are on their feet in St. John's, Newfoundland. They have been cheering for both men during this contest, and the room is now truly divided. Half of them are cheering for Scar to finish him, and the other half are encouraging Michael Burke to break out of the surfboard!

Jim: No way. There's no way he's gonna break out of this.

Gallivan: Burke must be in incredible pain, but refuses to give it up. Hang on, you can see Scar's legs starting to shake. He's having a hard time holding this big man up! Both men have been giving it their all in this contest, and it's starting to take its toll on Scar. Julio checks on Burke... and... no, he's waving it off. I thought Burke gave it up there.

Jim: No, he was just trying to break free. But he's completely at Scar's mercy in there.

Gallivan: Not so fast, Jim. Scar's legs finally give way, and he drops Burke to the canvas! The Demolition Man curls into a ball, and it looks as if he may be injured.

Jim: Scar could have easily tore Burke's abdominal muscles with that move, or worse.

Gallivan: Scar hits Burke with another kick to the face, and now he charges into the corner... STARSAULT ON BURKE!!!

Jim: Damn! He cleared half that ring to crash onto Burke!

Gallivan: Scar just used his body as a weapon with that elevated moonsault, and now both men are in a lot of pain. Julio puts a count on them, but Scar is the first one up. He drags Burke up by his hair, and locks on a Front Facelock. Scar goes for a DDT... BUT BURKE REVERSES IT INTO AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!

Jim: Burke didn't let gravity do all the work on that one. He forcibly drove Scar down onto his knee for extra impact!

Gallivan: That's what happens when you've got Burke's kind of power. Now Burke hoists Scar up with a bearhug... and deposits him on the top rope! He climbs up to the second rope, and starts hammering Scar with lefts and rights to the sides of his head!

Jim: It's Vader Time!

Gallivan: Burke is mauling Scar like a bear with those wild but powerful shots! Now, he grabs Scar by the head... AND HOISTS HIM UP FOR A DEVASTATING SUPERPLEX!!!

Jim: These guys are killing each other in there. There's no titles on the line, nothing going to the winner besides respect. This is the kind of oldschool action that the LWA does best.

Gallivan: Burke is slow to capitalize, and is still favoring those ribs. He rolls onto Scar and hooks the leg... 1... 2... No! Scar managed to get a shoulder up just before the 3 count!

Jim: These guys do every move like they're trying to kill each other, no half-assed actions on their part.

Gallivan: Burke is up and drags Scar up with him. Hang on, Scar rams the top of his head into Burke's stomach, knocking the wind out of him! He is up, and catches Burke with a Crescent Kick that sends him into the turnbuckle! Scar runs in, leaps onto Burke... AND MONKEYFLIPS HIM OUT OF THE CORNER! Now, he's headed up to the top rope! Burke is still down as Scar leaps off the top... HUGE TOP ROPE SPLASH BY SCAR!!! He hooks the legs, and this should do it... 1... 2... NO! Michael Burke kicks out!

Jim: Scar may not weigh much, but that's still an awful lot of pressure coming down on Burke's ribs.

Gallivan: Burke's doubled up in there, and I'm not sure if he can continue, despite kicking out of that move. Scar grabs him by the hair, and he's signalling for Stiches! Scar drags him back into the corner, and climbs up to the second rope.

Jim: This is gonna finish it. Nobody gets up from Diamond Dust.

Gallivan: Scar hooks Burke by the head, but the big man is hanging on! He reaches up, and throws a few wild punches at Scar, but he's not in much of a position to have any effect. Hang on! Burke grab Scar by the hair, and pulls him forward onto his shoulder! He takes a few steps forward, pulling Scar off the turnbuckle... AND HITS HIM WITH A SHOULDERBREAKER!!!

Jim: Ouch!

Gallivan: Burke falls back onto his ass, and he's in a lot of pain in there. Scar is down, holding that shoulder, but Burke isn't in a position to capitalize. Burke gets back up, but Scar is standing as well. Burke comes at him... but Scar shoots on his leg, CATCHING HIM WITH A SCHOOLBOY ROLLUP! Julio is out of position, but leaps across the ring to make the cover... 1... 2... NO! The Demolition Man kicked out! Both men somehow get to their feet. After everything they've taken, it's amazing that they can even stand. Scar grabs Burke, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... but Burke reverses it! Scar bounces off the far ropes... AND RUNS INTO A SPINEBUSTER BY MICHAEL BURKE!!! He hooks the leg, and this has to be it... 1... 2... 3! NO, waitaminute! Scar kicked out at the last second, and Burke is flaberghasted! He hooks one of Scar's legs, and forces all of his weight down on Scar's shoulders. Julio makes the count... 1... 2... 3! Scar kicked out, but Burke managed to keep him down long enough for the 3 count! This one is over!

Jim: Wow. Burke just used his power to hold Scar down on that mat. When all else fails...

Gallivan: Burke collapses onto the mat, and both men are completely spent. That was incredible. Just like Thorn/Blade, this one could have gone either way.

Jim: What a match.

Gallivan: No argument there. Both these men pulled out everything tonight.

---BREAK---

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and is the LWA Main Event for tonight. Coming to the ring at this time, from the Jungles of Africa, and weighing in at 155 lbs... THE NATIVE!!!

[Strange tribal drums begin to play and a wild figure breaks through the entrance curtain. The Native, wearing just a loincloth and necklace of teeth, charges towards the ring holding his chicken leg aloft in one hand.]

Gallivan: The Native is still banged up from that rediculous contest against Enigma last show.

Jim: You mean, the Firkn Scot!

Gallivan: I wasn't going to mention his name. Thank you Jim.

Jim: No prob. Speaking of the Scot, the FHW is only going to get worse, Gallivan. Have you heard who is the new president?

Gallivan: No.

Jim: New Star.

Gallivan: Oh dear.

Jim: You're telling me. You thought FHW was fucked up before, just you wait.

Gallivan: Jim, how do you know all this stuff about FHW?

Jim: Well, I picked up a TiVo a couple of weeks ago, and since I record a lot of wrestling, the TiVo goes ahead and records FHW Ricochet every week.

Gallivan: That doesn't mean you have to watch it.

Jim: Johnny, I watch everything my TiVo tells me to watch. It's my friend.

Gallivan: That is scary. Well, as I was saying, the Native is banged up, but he isn't going to let that stop him from having a go at the UWS monster, Judas Dagon.

Jim: Want to place a bet on this match?

Gallivan: I don't bet on wrestling, Jim. It's a conflict of interest.

Jim: Weiner. Come on, we'll do one of those friendly wagers like the politicians do. If the Native wins, I'll do the next show wearing a dress. And if Judas Dagon wins, you'll do the same.

Gallivan: Jim, I'm not doing play-by-play wearing a dress.

Jim: No faith in the Native?

Gallivan: I don't want to take anything away from the Native, but he's just outclassed in this match.

Jim: Ok, I'll give you odds. If the Native wins, I'll wear a dress for the whole show, but if Dagon wins, you only have to wear a dress for one match. Come on, ya wussy!

Gallivan: I know I'm going to regret this, but if it'll shut you up, ok, I agree with it.

Jim: Hot dog!

Lockheart: And his opponent, from The Tower of Babel, and weighing in at 350 lbs... "THE ANTI-SENTINEL" JUDAS DAGON!!!

[A sudden chill enters the arena and the lights dim. The sounds of screaming and torment can barely be made out as the first unnerving cords of "The thing that should not be" by Metallica begins to play. Then, step by step, the giant 7 footer known as the Anti Sentinel walks upon the entrance ramp. He is as slow but unstoppable as an iceberg or a glacier. His eyes are cold and his Iron plated Ash gray longcoat matches that emotional absense to a tee. He moves towards the ring and slowly lets the coat fall off his back while he takes off two big gray gauntlets, letting his long white hair fall into place. Then he waits.]

Gallivan: Well, after that earlier match, it looks as if Dagon doesn't have to worry about an interfering Gabriel Blade in this one. Blade has been taken out of the arena for tests, very much against his will I might add.

Jim: What a retard. Anybody who willingly puts themselves in Dagon's path of destruction deserves what he gets.

Gallivan: The monster is just staring at the Native, waiting for the opening bell. Julio Suave seems hesitant to call for the bell.

Jim: Julio's got his finger on the button. And when he presses it... armageddon.

Gallivan: Here we go! The bell rings, and Dagon charges at the Native! He grabs him by the throat, and hoists him high into the air!

Jim: He's lifting him like it's nothing!

Gallivan: Well, Dagon is more than twice the size of the Native. This has to be the biggest mismatch in LWA history. The Native can't even reach Dagon's head to fight back! He's swinging and kicking, but can't do a damn thing! Dagon is just choking the life out of him in mid-air! Julio puts a count on the monster, but Dagon's just smiling! He's trying to kill him in there!

Jim: Hey, I'm no fan of the Native, but this is a bit much. First Sean Lassiter, then Dasher Ufung. It looks like Dagon is trying to make the trifecta tonight.

Gallivan: Fans, Julio Suave is calling for the bell!!! He's disqualified Judas Dagon, but the monster still refuses to release the Native!

Jim: That's got to be an LWA record.

Gallivan: The Native's struggles have all but ceased. Dear God... let him go!

[A camera cuts to a shot of the entrance curtain. There, Craig Lassiter and Xavier "Stunts" Thomas are watching the action.]

Lassiter: Are you going to do something about that?

Stunts: Are you crazy? I'm not sending my men after that thing. Why don't you take care of it.

Lassiter: After what I've seen him do? Forget about it.

[Suddenly, Michael Burke pushes his way through the curtain, brushing past both of them.]

Lassiter: Where do you think you're going?

Burke: I'm going to clean that trash out of the ring.

[Burke strides towards the ring, and Craig Lassiter just looks at Stunts in amazement.]

Lassiter: This should be good. Go get 'em, Gunman!

[Michael Burke turns around, and jams a thumb into the throat of Craig Lassiter.]

Burke: What did you just call me?

Lassiter: (grinning) Demolition Man, of course.

Burke: That's better.

[With that, Burke continues his walk to the ring.]

Lassiter: (rubbing his neck) Tortured soul, that kid. (to Stunts) Twenty bucks says he's carried out on a stretcher.

Stunts: I'll take a piece of that.

Gallivan: Fans, it looks like Michael Burke is coming down to put a stop to this monster, and it's about time. The Native is hanging from his fist like a ragdoll in there.

Burke: Dagon!

Gallivan: The Anti-Sentinel is still beaming at the Native.

Burke: DAGON!

[Judas Dagon turns to see Burke, then drops the lifeless Native to the mat. A camera mic is close enough to Burke to pick out what he's saying.]

Burke: I bet you think you're a tough guy, don't you? Makes you feel real big beating up all those little guys, is that it? Or maybe you're just compensating for something. I really don't give a shit what you think cause what I know is that you're just a bully... that's all you'll ever be. And if I'm not mistaken, I've just pulled your punk card little man. So, what are you gonna do about it?

Jim: Little man? Mike Burke's no cruiserweight, but he's nowhere near the size of Dagon.

Gallivan: Yeah, but his heart is big, that's for sure.

Jim: You fag.

Gallivan: Judas Dagon is watching Burke climb into the ring as UWS security drags the Native out of the ring. These fans are going absolutely nuts out there. Dagon waits for Burke to make the first move. The Demolition Man charges Dagon... AND NAILS HIM WITH A VICIOUS LARIAT!!!

Jim: Burke nearly came out of his boots on that one, but Dagon didn't go down!

Gallivan: Now, Mike starts firing lefts and rights at Dagon like a man possessed! The monster is taking a beating, but still hasn't decided to fight back yet! Now, Burke rams a heel into the thigh of Dagon, dropping him down to one knee! He hits Dagon with an Earringer, and locks on a Front Facelock!

Jim: He's fighting back now!

Gallivan: Dagon stands back up, lifting Burke into the air. He reaches his right arm up to Burke's throat... AND CHOKESLAMS HIM TO THE MAT!! Now, Dagon holds him down with one arm, and with the other, he just punches Burke hard in the ribs!! He's jackhammering on the ribs of Mike Burke!

Jim: This looks like a schoolyard scrap now!

Gallivan: Burke is still hurting from that incredible match against Scar earlier, and he's in no position to defend himself now. Hold on! Speak of the devil... Scar is making his way to the ring! AND HE'S GOT A CHAIR IN HIS HAND!

Jim: It looks like he's here to finish the job on Burke. But, if he isn't careful, Dagon will tear him apart too!

Gallivan: Scar rolls into the ring... AND NAILS DAGON WITH A TWO-HANDED SWING ACROSS THE FACE!!!!!

Jim: Holy shit!

Gallivan: Dagon was driven back by the force of that chairshot, but he's standing up! Blood is already streaming down his face, but this beast is just staring at Scar as if to say, "hit me again!"

Jim: Scar wanted to be a hero like Burke, and now both of them can share a hospital bed.

Gallivan: These fans are roaring as Scar steps up and blasts Dagon again with that chair! BAM!!! Another cut is opened up on Dagon's head, but still he doesn't go down! Scar raises the chair to hit him again... BUT DAGON MAFIA KICKS THE CHAIR INTO SCAR'S FACE!!!

Jim: Plastic surgery time!

Gallivan: Scar went down in a head, and it looks like that shot busted him open as well. Dear God, can anybody stop this monster?

Jim: We may have to move the whole fed just to get away from him.

Gallivan: Hang on. Michael Burke has crawled back to his knees. One arm is holding those injured ribs, but Burke gets down into a three-point stance as he waits for Judas Dagon! The roar of the fans causes Dagon to turn around... AND BURKE HITS HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!! My God! He sent Dagon over the top rope to the floor... BUT HE LANDED ON HIS FEET!!!

Jim: This guy is invincible!

Gallivan: Waitaminute. Seun, the 700 lb member of our ring security team is down into a sumo stance! He charges Dagon... AND AVALANCHES HIM INTO THE STEEL SECURITY RAILING!!!

Jim: Finally, security is doing something!

[The cameras cut to the entrance ramp, where "Stunts" is holding a walkie-talkie.]

Lassiter: Hey, that's cheating!

Stunts: Twenty bucks is twenty bucks.

[The cameras cut back to ringside, where Seun is slamming palm thrusts into the head and torso of Dagon.]

Gallivan: It's carnage in the ring, and carnage at ringside, and these fans love it! Judas Dagon is trying to cover up, but Seun is just peppering him with shots! Hang on! Dagon reaches out... and locks on the Claw!!! He's got that vicelike grip locked on, and he's crushing Seun's head. The big man's offense immediately disappears!

Jim: It's Armaggedon, I tell ya!

Gallivan: What the hell is going on!?! The Shinobis are headed to the ring!!! Talk about opportunistic bastards! Burke was just about to head out of the ring after Dagon, but Shinobi I nails him from behind! Shinobi II starts stomping on the downed Scar! Why on earth are they in that ring! It doesn't make any sense!

Jim: Have the Shinobis ever made sense?

Gallivan: You have a point there. Outside the ring, Seun is in incredible pain, and Dagon is actually fighting off the rest of the ring crew with his free hand! He's punching and kicking these guys off him, and still cranks down on the Claw hold! Waitaminute. He releases Seun, and grabs him by the head. Oh dear God, no! Dagon puts Seuns head between his legs. He's actually lifting this giant man... PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!

Jim: Jesus, Seun didn't have much of a neck to begin with, but that could have killed him.

Gallivan: As much as these fans were cheering when Dagon was being attacked, they are cheering even louder now. Newfoundland is a messed up place, Jim.

Jim: You don't have to tell me. My ex-wife is from Newfoundland.

Gallivan: Which one?

Jim: Number seven.

Gallivan: Judas Dagon is staring down at the hopefully unconscious form of Seun and laughing! He looks up in the ring, and sees the Shinobis beating the hell out of Burke and Scar... and now he's leaving!

Jim: Good thing.

Gallivan: The damage has most certainly been done. UWS security is attending to Seun, but what about the Shinobis! Shinobi I has laid Michael Burke out on the mat, and he's placing that steel chair down across his chest. Now, Shinobi II is headed up to the top rope!!

Jim: That's it. As of next show, it'll be all new talent, because everybody in the LWA will be injured. You can't run a fed like this!

Gallivan: Shinobi II balances on the top rope... but Scar is back up! He's bloodied, but manages to charge into the corner, knocking Shinobi II to a seated position on the top turnbuckle!

Jim: Seated on his goolies, you mean.

Gallivan: Scar climbs up to the second rope, and now he's wailing away on Shinobi II! But, Shinobi I heads over to put a stop to this. He nails Scar across the back with a Clothesline, knocking him off the ropes! Waitaminute! Kevin Burke is getting up!

Jim: Michael, not Kevin.

Gallivan: Sorry, Michael Burke is up, and he grabs that steel chair! HE WALLOPS SHINOBI I ACROSS THE BACK WITH THE CHAIR! Shinobi I goes down and Burke drops the chair. He walks over to the corner, still favoring those ribs, and grabs Shinobi II off the top rope! Michael Burke lifts him off the turnbuckle, and spins around... DEMOLITIONBOMB BY THE DEMOLITION MAN!!!

Jim: Damn! Shinobi II may never go to the top rope again!

Gallivan: Scar is up, and he's signalling for Burke to get into position. Burke backs up against one side of the ring, and Scar drags Shinobi I to his feet. He Irish Whips Shinobi I into the opposite ropes, and catches him with a Monkeyflip! Waitaminute! Michael Burke catches Shinobi I in mid-air... JAPANESE POWERBOMB BY BURKE!!! What a move!

Jim: Did they just come up with that?

Gallivan: It would appear so. Despite the fact that Scar is bleeding like a stuck pig, and Michael Burke is wincing with pain every time he moves, both men are actually smiling! They high-five each other, and now each man climbs up to an opposite turnbuckle to address these screaming Newfies!

Jim: These fans are riled up, and for good reason.

Gallivan: Oh Jim.

Jim: What?

Gallivan: What's your favorite color?

Jim: What the hell are you asking me that for, ya fairy.

Gallivan: Well, I was going to pick out a nice dress for you to wear on the next show... seeing how the Native won the match.

Jim: No he... (under his breath) oh shit.

Gallivan: Indeed. What are you, about a size 16?

Jim: Shut the hell up, Gallivan.

Gallivan: Fans, we are all out of time!

[The end credits begin to roll as the show cuts to a backstage security camera. The picture is rather grainy, but still serves its purpose. One of the exit doors opens, and Ken "Jester" Holbrook walks in. He is wearing a purple and orange suit. His face is still bandaged, and he still has a splint on his nose. Ken is still wearing his leg brace and walking with the aid of his silver Jester-headed cane.]

Holbrook: Damned traffic. I hope I didn't miss much.

[A badly butchered version of a Samantha Fox song beeps through the hallway, and Ken Holbrook retrieves his cellphone from his jacket.]

Holbrook: Yeah. (pause) Huh? I can barely hear you. (pause) Hang on, let me see if I can get a better signal.

[Ken looks around, and heads into a nearby room, marked "Storage." Then, there is a crash from off-camera. A massive figure steps into the shot. Judas Dagon appears to be dragging a young man by the foot down the hallway. The kid is yelling in pain at the monster, but to no avail. Dagon swings the kid by his foot, slamming him into the wall and knocking him unconscious. The giant starts to head out of the exit door, but pauses when he hears something from the storage room.]

Holbrook: (muffled) What? Speak up!

[The monster grins, and kicks in the door clear off its hinges, and walks straight into the storage room.]

(fade to black)