[A commercial for "Dukes of Hazzard Commemorative Plates" goes off the air and the screen goes black. It is replaced after a few seconds by a warning screen.]

"The following program contains scenes of violence, coarse language, sexual scenes, offensive images, racial stereotypes, mature delicacies, drug use, anarchistic behavior, at least one thinly veiled reference to homosexuality (see if you can spot it!), and large unruly men in tight spandex. Viewer discretion is strongly advised."

"No, we mean it. These guys are seriously messed up in the head. It's not their fault. They all come from broken homes... especially Eric."

[The warning fades and the logo for the Underworld Wrestling Syndicate's Friday Night Blackened appears on the screen, accompanied by a cover version of "Blackened", originally by Metallica. The show cuts to the inside of an arena, where the fans are cheering wildly. The Syni-tron lights up to show clips from the previous show. Hellfire is shown pinning Dake Ken with a Victory Roll. Another clip shows Eric Manson holding the OWF Division Title over his head following his match against Kurt Tremere. Thorn is shown hitting Jamison with an Asai Moonsault. Another clip shows Jim Browski punching a fan in the face and stealing the Hardcore Title from him. This cuts to show Sin Chokeslamming Jim to the concrete floor. Tumbler is shown next, kicking Stu Price in the balls during his match against Gabriel Blade. The last clip shows Shane Brandon smashing the hell out of Lee Todd with the end of a steel chair. This fades into a shot of Blade, Burke, and Todd in the ring and Kurt Tremere holding up the UWS World Title at the entrance ramp, as security streams out on either side of him.]

[The show then cuts to a shot inside a hospital room. There are two beds in the room. Jamison lies in one, trying to get some sleep. In the next bed, a kid with a broken leg is playing Splinter Cell on an XBox. Every time the kid steps out of the shadows there is a booming bass note that stirs Jamison back into consciousness.]

Jamison: (groaning) Come on, give it a rest, would ya?

Kid: No way! I'm at the Chinese Embassy level now.

[Jamison turns over, pulling the pillow over his head, and revealing the UWS Hardcore Title which had been secreted underneath. Then, Barbra Raymond walks into the room, carrying a microphone. She looks at the camera with an annoyed look on her face.]

Babe: Zeke! Where the hell have you been?

Zeke: (from behind the camera) Right here, dude.

Babe: Well stay with me. You know I hate hospitals.

[She looks at her reflection in the camera lens and fixes her hair.]

Babe: Ok, when do we go live?

Zeke: Um... we're on now.

[The look on Babe's face changes to anger, but quickly reverts into her no-nonsense smiling face.]

Babe: Evening, wrestling fans. I'm here in a hospital where UWS Hardcore Champion, Jamison, is recovering after a very suspicious accident. Due to the nature of the Hardcore Title stipulations, we are keeping the location of Jamison a secret. But, I'm here to get a few words with the champ, who is missing his shot at the UWS Tag Team Titles tonight.

[She moves around to the side of Jamison's bed. Jamison looks up, still looking very tired. His face has numerous small bandages and his left wrist and arm are heavily taped. Jamison pulls himself to a seated position as he sees Babe.]

Babe: Jamison, hi. I was wondering if we could get a few words with you. We are live at UWS Blackened, where tonight you were scheduled to team up with Dake Ken to face the UK Crew for the UWS Tag Team Titles. What can you tell us about your accident and missing this important match? How do you feel?

Jamison: How do you think I feel? I feel lousy. I took back the UWS Hardcore Title, and got this tag shot, and I get hit by a car walking across the street.

Babe: Really? Was it an accident?

Jamison: I don't know. Whoever it was sped off, apparently. I was out of it at the time.

Babe: So, are the injuries serious?

Jamison: No, nothing permanent. Just enough to keep me on the shelf for a little while. But, I'll be back soon enough.

Babe: (looking back at the camera) There you have it folks. We now take you back to Blackened.

[After waiting a few seconds, Babe thanks Jamison then starts to leave.]

Babe: (to Zeke) Are you coming?

Zeke: Yeah, I'll meet you in the truck. I want to do a few establishing shots for next week's package show.

Babe: Ok... but don't take too long!

[Babe leaves as Zeke begins scanning around the room. Then, a doctor comes into the room staring at a clipboard. He is wearing surgical scrubs, complete with mask. He walks up to the kid's bed and takes a look at his chart.]

Doc: How are you doing, Billy?

Kid: (moving his head to see the TV) Good, good.

Doc: That's good to hear. Your parents are coming to take you home tomorrow. That'll be nice, won't it?

Kid: (frantically button mashing) Yeah, whatever.

[The doctor replaces the clipboard and picks up Jamison's. Jamison seems to have already fallen asleep again. The doc looks at the clipboard and nods as he reads it over. Then, he notices the glint of metal coming out from under Jamison's pillow.]

Doc: What have we here? (reaching for it) Let me just put that away for you so you can get some sleep, kiddo.

[As soon as the doc puts his hand on the belt, Jamison's eye bolt open and he grabs the man by the arm.]

Jamison: What do you think you're doing?

Doc: (stammering) Nothing! You just looked very uncomfortable sleeping on that thing, so I was going to put it away for you.

Jamison: It'll just stay here, if you don't mind.

Doc: (raising his arms in surrender) No, I don't mind at all.

[Jamison rolls back over to go to sleep as the doctor turns to leave. He hesitates, and takes a look at the TV for a second.]

Doc: Playing a game?

Kid: Yep. It's wicked, too.

Doc: It's amazing what they can do nowadays, huh?

[The kid doesn't respond as he's too engrossed in the game.]

Doc: (glancing over his shoulder at the dozing Jamison) Do you mind if I take a look at that?

[The doctor reaches down and picks up the XBox from the bed. Before the kid can protest, he spins around (detaching the breakaway controller cable in the process) and slams the games console down across the head of Jamison, breaking the case and generating a shout of pain and a loud profanity from Jamison. The doctor then boots him in the back, knocking him off the bed, onto the floor. Ripping off his mask, he reveals himself to be none other than Dr. Karate. Karate reaches under the pillow, and pulls out the UWS Hardcore Title.]

Lockheart: (laughing) Take that, rookie! I'm not normally an anaesthesiologist, but I can put someone out when the need arises!

[As the kid with the broken leg starts to cry, Dr. Karate hides the belt under his robe and flees out of the room.]

[The show cuts to the arena and after a few passes over the crowd, the cameras focus on the UWS announce table, where Johnny Gallivan and Jim "The Killer Browski are seated.]

Gallivan: What a way to start the show! Jamison, our UWS Hardcore Champion, has been attacked in his hospital bed in a heinous act by Dr. Karate.

Jim: Correction. Dr. Karate... the new UWS Hardcore Champion! Dr. Karate now joins such illustrious company as me!

Gallivan: He KOed him with an XBox!

Jim: Of course he did. Have you seen the size of those things! They're monstrous!

Gallivan: Good evening, wrestling fans, and welcome to UWS Blackened! We are inching towards our next pay-per-view extravaganza, Iron Man 2003, where we will once again determine who deserves to wear that UWS Unified World Heavyweight Title. But, the Iron Man event starts long before then. Tonight, we have the Quick Snap, the technical expertise portion of the event.

Jim: Yep. It's a chance to show just who has the largest array of moves under their belt, and how well they can use them.

Gallivan: In addition to that, as we saw in the short interview that Babe conducted, Dake Ken and Jamison were set to take on two members of the UK Crew for the UWS Tag Team Titles. Jamison is unable to wrestle, so we will see Dake Ken's manager, Ice, step into the ring.

Jim: His manager? This is gonna be a piece of cake for the champs.

Gallivan: Actually, Ken and Ice were a tag team in the XGWO, so they have experience working together. The Crew may very well have their work cut out for them. Also, in addition to the 8, count them 8 Quick Snap matches, "Sentinel" Gabriel Blade will be taking on "Threat" Shane Brandon. No titles on the line, but a whole lot of emotion coming into this one, especially considering what happened at the last Blackened. But, before we head to the ring, here's a pre-taped segment from earlier tonight.

[The Syni-tron lights up to display footage of backstage in this arena. Ken Holbrook and Cid are waiting as Johnny Lassiter is wheeled into the building by his bodyguard/chaufeur D.]

Holbrook: Mr. Lassiter, good to see you. How is Sean?

Johnny Lassiter: He's doing very well. Exceptionally well, in fact. He's a chip off the old block.

Holbrook: That's good to hear.

Johnny Lassiter: Yes, yes. I've been looking at the books, Ken, and I have to say that you and Cid are doing a good job so far.

Holbrook: That's good to hear. We've been trying our damnedest to--

Johnny Lassiter: Yes, costs are down... the ratings are slowly improving... preliminary buy-rates for the PPV are looking good. One thing though, Ken. My backers and I were a little concerned with your.... how should we say... involvement in the Lee Todd / Shane Brandon matchup.

Holbrook: Oh, I can explain that.

Johnny Lassiter: No need, Ken. We are willing to let you and Cid handle the talent however you see fit. Firing Julio Suave is your decision, and we won't interfere. But, we would appreciate it if you could refrain from getting physically involved in the matches. It makes management look bad. You understand, don't you?

Holbrook: Yes, I understand.

Johnny Lassiter: I mean, we all remember what happened when Craig and Ash got a little too involved.

Holbrook: Say no more.

Johnny Lassiter: But, I do have some good news for you. The consortium has decided to foot the bill for the Jester's Pyramid cage in full. It'll be pretty expensive, though. I hope you know what you're doing.

Holbrook: I do. Our entire advertising budget is pushing the Pyramid. It'll be an amazing contest, and the ratings should reflect that. Then, because the Iron Man is being done over the next 3 shows as well, the new viewers should continue to tune in to find out who wins the whole thing.

Johnny Lassiter: Sounds logical. I hope it works as well as expected. No doubt you've heard that FHW will be moving stations.

Holbrook: Indeed I have. That should kill their ratings, at least for the first few weeks until the fans realize where they've gone. And while they are in limbo, we are putting on the biggest show in wrestling history.

Johnny Lassiter: Good, good. Our timing seems to be perfect on the Iron Man. Well Ken, I've got a few things to go over with Donnie Rose, then I've got to catch a flight to Orlando. So, I'll leave the show in the capable hands of yourself and Cid.

Holbrook: You won't regret it.

[The show now cuts to a live shot in Ken Holbrook's office. Holbrook is seated at his desk in a bright red business suit with matching neckbrace. He is nervously tapping his silver Jester-headed cane on the desk. Cid is standing up, gazing out the window.]

Holbrook: Where is he?

[Cid just shrugs. Then, there is a knock on the door, which bolts Holbrook upright.]

Holbrook: Come in!

[Ken Holbrook's face deflates as the monacled Edmund Paine II steps into the room. He looks around and takes a deep breath.]

Paine: Ahh, it's good to be back.

Holbrook: Paine? I thought you quit.

Paine: No, of course not. I was on vacation. I cleared this all through Craig Lassiter and Donnie Rose.

Holbrook: Well, I'm in charge now. So, is that all you wanted to tell me?

Paine: Actually, no. I've been doing some thinking lately, and I really don't think I'm being used to my full potential. I've seen all there is to see in the LWA lockeroom, if you catch my drift. I was wondering if I could get transferred to the OWF Division.

[Holbrook just stares at him, then glances over to Cid.]

Holbrook: What do you think?

[Cid does a double-take, shocked at having been asked his opinion.]

Cid: Well, you did cancel a lot of contracts last show. The OWF Division could always use some more talent.

Holbrook: Ok, sure. Why not? Paine, go tell Rose that I said you could be transferred to the OWF, effective immediately.

Paine: Wow, just like that? You know Ken, all that nasty stuff that's written about you on the bathroom wall isn't half true.

[Paine does a little curtsey, then walks out of the room.]

Holbrook: What stuff on the bathroom wall?

[The door doesn't have time to shut when Bonnie Bellows pokes her head into the room.]

Bonnie: Mr. Holbrook. Your "guest" has arrived. I've had security sneak him into one of the briefing rooms, like you asked.

Holbrook: Good, good. Give him whatever he wants and fit him for a referee's shirt immediately.

Bonnie: Yes sir.

[The door shuts, and Ken leans back in his chair.]

Holbrook: Cid?

Cid: Yep.

Holbrook: Head over to the bathroom, and find out what those ingrateful punks are writing about me, would you?

Cid: No prob.

[The show cuts to another backstage shot where Michael Burke is talking on a payphone. Dr. Karate walks in through one of the exit doors, hugging his labcoat around him. He looks down a hallway and backs into Michael Burke. Karate spins around defensively, but relaxes when he sees who it is. Michael Burke just gives him a look and continues to talk on the phone.]

[Dr. Karate stands there, watching him, then reaches out and hangs up the phone. Burke turns and stares at him.]

Burke: What the hell do you think you're doing?

Dr. Karate: (grinning) Being a jerk.

Burke: Why don't you get the hell out of here before I knock that stupid smile off your face, Karate.

Dr. Karate: You don't have the guts, little man.

[Burke drops the receiver and grabs Dr. Karate by the collar, shoving him up against the wall with exceptional force. Karate's arms go up defensively, and the UWS Hardcore Title drops to the floor. Mike looks down at the belt, then smiles at Dr. Karate.]

Dr. Karate: You wouldn't dare.

[Burke pulls Karate away from the wall, and hurls him across the room to the floor. Just then, the voices of the announcers cut into the feed.]

Jim: We've got a fight!

Gallivan: It would seem so. Dr. Karate scrambles back to his feet as Burke goes for the Hardcore Title. Hang on! Karate hits Burke with a Mafia Kick that knocks him back into the payphone! Karate strikes a martial arts pose, then fires off a Spin Kick... BUT BURKE DUCKS!

[Karate's kick hits the payphone, knocking it off the wall and spilling coins all over the floor.]

Gallivan: Burke charges Karate and Shoulderblocks him into the far wall! He rams his shoulder into Karate's midsection, knocking the wind out of him. Now Burke picks up the bad doctor... OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY MICHAEL BURKE! Karate hit the floor hard, and he's hurt. In desperation, he grabs a handful of change and hurls it into the face of Burke! Karate fires off a kick from the floor... hitting Burke in the groin! Michael Burke crumples and falls onto the change-strewn floor. Dr. Karate slowly gets up. He picks up the payphone... AND THROWS IT DOWN ACROSS BURKE'S BACK!

Jim: Ouch!

Gallivan: Dr. Karate is looking cocky now. He pulls Burke up by the hair, and hooks him up for what looks like a Heart Punch! Hang on! Burke breaks free... AND DROPS DR KARATE WITH A PUNCH IN THE HEAD!

Jim: Talk about the power of the punch!

Gallivan: Karate hits the floor and he's not moving!

[Michael Burke looks down at Karate, then opens his closed fist, spilling change onto the floor.]

Jim: He had a mittful of coins! He must have learned that nugget from his brother.

Gallivan: Burke must have loaded up when he hit the floor. The Demolition Man walks over and picks up the UWS Hardcore Title, and we've got a new champion!

[The show cuts back to the announce table at ringside.]

Gallivan: How did Dr. Karate get to the arena so fast?

Jim: I guess the hospital where Jamison is staying is pretty close to the arena. That's good to know for anyone who wants to "pay him a visit."

Gallivan: Well, in addition to Edmund Paine returning tonight, Paco is wrestling for the first time in weeks.

Jim: So, did Paine and Paco go on vacation together? That's a little suspect, if you ask me.

Gallivan: Not to change the subject, but Ken Holbrook did go over the top when he tossed that chair to Shane Brandon on the last show. And it probably would have gotten worse if Gabriel Blade didn't show up.

Jim: Are you just jabbering, or is this a segue?

Gallivan: It's a segue.

Jim: Well, it's not a very good one.

Gallivan: Well, I'm no Eddie Izzard. Our first match tonight will put Brandon against Gabe, and it promises to be a good one. Ryan Lockheart is ready and waiting in the ring, so let's get to it.

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. First, allow me direct your attention to the Syni-tron.

[The Syni-tron sparks to life, displaying a pre-taped video package.]

Lockheart: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Ken Holbrook... weighing in at 302 pounds... from Chicago, Illinois... Jack Spade!

[Spade and Holbrook head towards the ring. Jack is wearing a tight, white T-shirt with a huge, black "spade" symbol on the front. Holbrook is dressed in a sweatsuit. He has a whistle around his neck, and a towel in his hand.]

Gallivan: The fans really don't like these two. I guess we will finally see what Jack Spade can do in the ring.

Jim: We saw a glimpse of it last week.

Gallivan: Spade leaps off the middle of the ropes... flying elbow drop onto Penance! What impact!

[With that, the Syni-tron goes dead.]

Gallivan: There's a trip down memory lane, thanks to the boys in the truck.

Jim: (laughing) I had forgotten all about that. Julio was kicking ass. Make no wonder Holbrook holds a grudge against him.

Gallivan: It certainly brings me back. There were a few shots back there from when we actually worked with the guys from FHW.

Jim: Yeah, they came in for a while, stole a bunch of our ideas, then dragged them back to Firkland and bastardized them.

Gallivan: Well, I don't think we should worry too much about FHW. They don't even have a World Title anymore.

Jim: HAHA! What a bunch of losers!

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the special guest referee for this contest, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 292 lbs... JACK SPADE!!!

["The Jack" by AC/DC begins to play and a figure familiar to the LWA fans in attendance, Jack Spade, walks out through the entrance curtain. Spade pauses at the curtain and raises his right arm in the air while he gets a mixed reaction from the crowd. Spade is wearing jeans and a striped ref shirt. He then strides towards the ring.]

Jim: Looks like Gabe's got his work cut out for him in this match.

Gallivan: I can't believe what I'm seeing! Ken Holbrook has brought in his former tag team partner to ref this match.

Jim: Looks like Brandon will be notching up another win in this one.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Athens, Greece, and weighing in at 246 lbs... "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

[And Justice For All plays as Gabriel Blade steps onto the entrance ramp. Those observant of the human soul can easily see the wonder and awe still there in his eyes as he surveys the scene before turning to face the ring and marching resolutely forward.]

Gallivan: How interesting that tonight, when the 2003 Iron Man begins, we have a rematch for the finals of the 2001 Iron Man Memorial Tournament.

Jim: And Gabe's been waiting for this match for nearly 2 years. But, he does tend to obsess a little.

Lockheart: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Long Beach, CA by way of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and weighing in at 245 lbs... "THE THREAT" SHANE BRANDON!!!

[The lights dim for a mere moment, before an explosion of pyro casts the arena in a fiery red glow. "Revolution" by the Neurotic Outsiders blares over the arena loudspeakers, as Shane Brandon, led by a beaming Hoss Titan, steps through the entrance curtain. The crowds reaction does little to faze him as he walks to the ring with an arrogant grin and attitude. As Brandon enters the squared circle, he does a few stretches and shakes his head from side to side much like a boxer in preparation for the battle ahead.]

Gallivan: Shane Brandon has been more unorthodox than usual lately. Last show we saw him just completely lose it against Lee Todd, trying to cripple Todd with no regard for not winning the LWA Division Title.

Jim: Frankly, Gabe is really putting his career on the line accepting this match against Brandon. Not to mention the fact that both of these guys have Quick Snap matches later tonight.

Gallivan: Brandon has to deal with Lee Todd's brother, Tumbler. And Gabe has to face the unknown quantity of Uesugi.

Gallivan: Fans, as you saw last week, Ken Holbrook fired LWA Head Referee, Julio Suave. Julio's been head ref since the LWA started. It's weird not to have him in the building. I've been told that Craig Lassiter is going to be taking Julio's place as head ref of the LWA Division.

Jim: That's a little surprising, considering how much Holbrook and Lassiter hate one another.

Gallivan: Well, Ken lost his head last show when he physically inserted himself into the LWA Division Title match. I guess he figures Craig is better than Julio anyway. Craig Lassiter went a long way to atoning for his sins when he reffed the UWS Tag Title match right down the middle.

Jim: Which is exactly what I expect in this one.

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade gets into the face of Jack Spade and stares at the man. Jack just looks right back at him, not intimidated at all. Hold on! Brandon attacks Gabe from behind! There goes the bell, and this one is on!

Jim: It's official... a hardcore hootenanny!

Gallivan: Gabe buckles as Brandon starts pounding on him from behind. He grabs Gabe by the hair... and rams him headfirst into the turnbuckle pad! Shane Snapmares Gabe to the mat... and Stomps him across the back of the head! The Sentinel is more taken off-guard than dazed, and is quick to return to his feet. As he gets up, Brandon charges at him... but Sentinel Backdrops him to the canvas! Now, Gabe backs off and allows Brandon to get back to his feet.

Jim: That's rather sporting of him.

Gallivan: Brandon is a little hesitant to lock up with Gabe as he stands, and both men are just circling each other. They finally lock up. Both men are jostling for control, and Gabe applies a Side Headlock on Brandon. The Threat cinches the waist... and hoists Gabe up, hitting him with an Atomic Drop... but Gabe held onto the move! Brandon fires a few Forearm shots to the back of Gabe, but Gabe responds by grinding on the ears of Shane Brandon! Shane tries to lift Gabe up again, but he repositions his weight and hangs on. Gabe spins his finger in the air... AND BULLDOGS BRANDON TO THE MAT!

Jim: Shades of Dustin Rhodes before he took to wearing makeup and broke his poor father's heart.

Gallivan: Gabe doesn't go for the cover, though. Instead, he grabs Shane by one foot, but Gabe boots him in the chest, trying to block the move! Shane boots him in the chest again... but Gabe turns Shane over for a Half Crab anyway! The last time these two men met, Gabe could barely walk before the match started. He's at 100% right now, and he's threatening to pull Shane Brandon's leg clean off!

Jim: I still don't think we've seen this kids full potential, but God help the man who brings it out of him.

Gallivan: Brandon is trying to pull himself towards the ropes, and he's not too far away. Jack Spade, who has been surprisingly law-abiding thus far, is asking Brandon if he wants to give it up.

Jim: Gabe considers himself the hero. He doesn't like when other people are treated badly. Brandon broke Hoser's ankle and tried to put Lee Todd on the shelf permanently. Most people wouldn't care, but this kid really takes this stuff personally.

Gallivan: "Not on my watch", should be his catchphrase. Brandon stretches forward... and grabs the bottom rope! Spade puts a count on Gabe, who releases the move immediately... and Brandon rolls out of the ring to the floor.

[Shane Brandon gets back to his feet, and starts walking slowly around the ring, trying to work the kinks out of his leg.]

Gallivan: Gabe is watching him from a neutral corner while Jack Spade puts a slow count on Brandon. It's not written down anywhere, but this match is for all intents and purposes, a #1 contender match. You can bet whichever man pulls out the win will be the next to face Lee Todd for that coveted LWA Division title. Not to mention the UWS Unified Title.

Jim: Ok, you can ponder about the LWA Division title all you want, but Kurt Tremere will be the UWS world champ until he decides otherwise.

Gallivan: Jack Spade reaches 8, and Shane Brandon slowly heads up the ringsteps, and steps back into the ring. He's looking very wary in there, and not at all amused thus far. Gabe, on the other hand, is looking ready for anything.

Jim: Brandon's been a real loose cannon these last few weeks.

Gallivan: That's putting it mildly. For a man who is such a presence in the ring to brutally attack Lee Todd and get DQed in the process, really says a lot about where his head is at. Gabe comes at Brandon, who covers up in the corner. Gabe hits him with an overhead right, then Irish Whips Brandon across the ring to the far turnbuckle! He charges in after him... but Brandon bails out through the ropes again!

Jim: Aw, this is getting rediculous.

Gallivan: Spade puts a count on Brandon once again, but Gabe isn't going to wait this time. He bails out through the ropes as Brandon non-chalantly walks around the ring, ignoring the boos from the fans. Gabe reaches the Threat and plants one hand on his neck, and the other on the back of his tights... and forcibly shoves Brandon back into the ring! He follows him in, but Brandon just makes a beeline for the far ropes.

Jim: He's leaving again!

Gallivan: No, he isn't. Brandon bounds off the far ropes as Gabe stands up in the ring... RUNNING CLOTHESLINE BY BRANDON! He tried to spin Gabe over the top rope, but didn't quite send him over. Brandon pops Gabe in the face, then hits him with a Forearm Elbow in the head, and applies a Wristlock. Brandon spins around, applying more pressure, then rams his shoulder into Gabe's chest, trying to pop his arm out of the socket.

Jim: Stu-E was working on Gabe's arm last show. Maybe Brandon saw a weakness.

Gallivan: Or maybe he just wants to hurt him. Brandon spins around again, somersaulting Gabe to the mat. He surgically stomps Gabe in the shoulder... then hits his shoulder with a precision Legdrop without letting go of his arm! Brandon struggles to apply a Cross Arm Breaker... but Gabe pulls away from him! He rolls over, and scrambles back to his feet... BUT BRANDON HITS HIM WITH A RUNNING KNEE TO THE BACK! Gabe slams chest-first into the corner... AND STAGGERS BACK INTO A SLEEPERHOLD!

Jim: Night-night!

Gallivan: Jack Spade checks to make sure that it doesn't become a choke. Shane's got this move locked on tight, and the Sentinel is flailing his arms for some kind of purchase. He reaches back, and grabs Brandon by the head... STUNNER BY GABRIEL BLADE!!!

Jim: That broke it!

Gallivan: The fans are cheering wildly as both men drop to the mat. Gabe crawls across the ring, pulling himself up by the ropes. As he turns, Brandon is getting to his feet. Gabe boots him in the midsection... underhooks his arms... and Butterfly Suplexes Brandon to the mat! Now Gabe just runs across the ring, and starts bouncing off the ropes! He's criss-crossing the ring, waiting for Brandon to get to his feet.

Jim: Shades of the Ultimate Warrior.

Gallivan: Brandon slowly gets up... BUT IS CLOTHESLINED TO THE CANVAS! Gabe doesn't even stop. He continues to bounce off the ropes, and Brandon gets back up... BUT IS CLOTHESLINED DOWN AGAIN! Gabe grabs the ropes, putting on the brakes. Hoss Titan is shouting warnings to Shane, but I'm not sure if he knows where he is right now. Brandon gets back to his feet, and turns around... SPEAR BY GABRIEL BLADE!!! The crowd goes nuts as he just crushes Gabe to the mat! And now he's headed up to the top rope!

Jim: Man, Shane seems off his game here tonight.

Gallivan: The Sentinel perches himself on the top rope, stands up, and waits on Brandon. The Threat is on dream street, but he's slowly getting back to his feet. Brandon turns around, dazed, to face the corner... HIGH CROSS BODY BY GABRIEL BLADE!!!

Jim: Ricky Steamboat in the house! Gabe's like friggin' Rich Little in that ring tonight.

Gallivan: Gabe's massive frame just dropped onto Brandon, and Gabe is hooking the leg! Jack Spade drops down for the count... 1... 2... Kickout by Brandon! Surprisingly, Spade adminstered a sensible count there.

Jim: See, you expect the worst out of people Gallivan. Don't you feel ashamed?

Gallivan: The match isn't over yet. Gabe is up and pulls Brandon to his feet. The Threat grabs Gabe by the head as he positions his own head underneath Gabe's jaw... JAWBREAKER BY SHANE BRANDON! Brandon is quick to get up as Gabe rolls around the ring in pain. He pushes Gabe so that his head is underneath the bottom rope and grabs him by the legs... AND SLINGSHOTS HIM THROAT-FIRST INTO THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!

Jim: Ouch, that's a nasty move. And as fast as that, Brandon's back in control.

Gallivan: Spade doesn't seem too concerned about Brandon's activities in that ring thus far.

Jim: Of course not. This isn't nusery school.

Gallivan: Shane steps up on the bottom rope, and hoists himself up into the air... COMING DOWN ACROSS GABE'S FOREHEAD WITH A KNEEDROP!

Jim: Woooooooo!

Gallivan: Are you sure you're pronouncing that right, Jim?

Jim: Of course I am. Do you think I'm some kind of 'tard?

Gallivan: Well, just be sure. We get letters you know.

Jim: Letters? About the pronounciation of Woooo? What kinda wrestling nerd would care how I pronounce woooo?

Gallivan: Hey, don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger. Now, Brandon slides out of the ring, and drags Gabe's head out over the ring apron... AND DELIVERS A NASTY ELBOW TO THE THROAT! Jack Spade puts a count on Brandon, who promptly slides back into the ring. He stomps Gabe in the head as the kid tries to get to his feet. Now Brandon heads off the ropes... and hits Gabe with a Dropkick in the head on the way back!!

Jim: Pinpoint precision. Brandon's put his train back on the tracks now, which is bad news for the Sentinel.

Gallivan: Gabe still won't stay down though. Brandon waits for Gabe to get back up, and nails him with a Knife-edge Chop to the chest!

Jim: Wheeeeee!

Gallivan: What are you doing?

Jim: I, my dear Johnny, am setting a new trend. Whenever somebody chops someone, I'm gonna yell "wheeeee!"

Gallivan: Jim, your reluctance to take criticism is noteworthy. Brandon fires off another Chop to the chest of Gabe.

Jim: Wheeeee!

Gallivan: Having fun?

Jim: Sure, try it. Wheeeee!!!

Gallivan: Brandon fires off another chop--

Jim: Wheeeeee!

Gallivan: --that generates a different chant from the audience. Gabe takes a step back... AND FIRES BACK A KNIFE-EDGE CHOP OF HIS OWN! The smack forced Brandon to take a step back, but he steps in... AND CHOPS GABE AGAIN! The fans are cheering as both men now start trading Chops... back and forth! Each chop has more sting on it than the last one and Brandon's bare chest is turning blood red. Gabe hits Brandon with another brutal chop... and Brandon rakes the eyes of Gabe to stop this pissing contest dead! He nails Gabe with a boot in the guts, cinches him up... AND PLANTS HIM WITH A SNAP SUPLEX!

Jim: Gabe might be a real hero, but he's gonna get out-wrestled tonight. Against Brandon and Uesugi.

Gallivan: Brandon Kicks Gabe in the ribs, rolling him over onto his stomach. He Stomps Gabe strategically in the small of the back... AND APPLIES A CAMEL CLUTCH ON THE SENTINEL!

Jim: That's gonna hurt. Brandon already told Gabe that he wasn't coming for 3 seconds of glory. He was coming to hurt Gabe. And one way or another, that's just what he's going to do.

Gallivan: Jack Spade checks on Gabe as Brandon leans back, threatening to bend him in half! We are instantly brought back to the finals of the 2001 Iron Man, where Gabriel Blade was punished by a Shane Brandon sharpshooter.

Jim: Stop living in the past. You're worse than Blade.

Gallivan: Gabe is trying to fight out of this move, but Brandon's got it cinched in tight. A camel clutch isn't the kind of move you can gradually work your way out of. But, Gabe's got a size advantage, so he just might make it out of this one.

Jim: Doubtful.

Gallivan: Jack Spade is keeping an eye on both men. Gabe's in real pain, but it doesn't look like he's ready to submit. Hang on! Gabe is slowly lifting himself off the mat! Gabe fights off the pain and gets back to his hands and knees! Brandon is desperately pulling back on Gabe's head... BUT HE STANDS UP! Now, Brandon is perched on Gabe's back... and he slaps on another Sleeperhold! Brandon's trying to put the Sentinel out, but he charges back... CRUSHING BRANDON INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! That broke the hold. Gabe turns around and hooks Brandon... Hiptossing him into the middle of the ring! He comes out after him as Brandon gets up... and drops him with a Running Clothesline! Gabe picks him up and Irish Whips him off the ropes... BUT BRANDON COMES BACK WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK TO THE FACE OF THE SENTINEL!!!

[A chorus of boos and cheers float through the crowd as Jack Spade begins to put a count on both men.]

Gallivan: Both men are down, but it looks like Shane Brandon will be the first one up. He grabs Gabe as he regains his vertical base... and plants him with a Backbreaker! He rolls Gabe over onto his stomach and gives him another Stomp to the back. Shane heads off the ropes. He comes back... AND HITS GABE WITH A REVERSE NECK SNAP!

Jim: From the mat! That had to hurt!

Gallivan: Brandon comes back after Gabe and stomps him again in the small of the back. Gabe gets back to his feet, and hits Brandon with an Elbow in the ribs... but Brandon rakes the eyes again! He picks up Gabe... ANOTHER BACKBREAKER BY BRANDON!

Jim: He's focused now. Gabriel Blade is about to take the punishment that was meant for Lee Todd. See kids, that's what you get for being a hero.

Gallivan: Brandon has not gone for a cover yet, which is definitely not the Threat we are used to seeing. Brandon lifts himself up to the second rope... ELBOW TO THE THROAT FROM THE SECOND ROPE! Gabe is struggling for breath and Brandon has resumed his stomping of Gabe! The legs, the stomach, the back, the head, the arms... absolutely everywhere! Now, Brandon grabs one of Gabe's feet, and turns him over... STF BY SHANE BRANDON!

Jim: Every part of Gabe's body has to be aching now.

Gallivan: Jack Spade drops down to ask Gabe if he wants to give it up. Shane Brandon is fiercely cranking back on that Crossface! They are in the middle of the ring, and there's nowhere for Gabe to go!

Jim: Give it up, kid. Don't be a hero.

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade is reaching towards the ropes, and he's nearly there. Brandon is merciless with the crossface, raking his forearm across Gabe's eyes. Gabe reaches out... AND GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! Jack Spade puts a count on Brandon, who breaks the hold after a count of 5. Brandon is up and stomps on Gabe again. He grabs Gabe as he gets back to his feet, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... but Gabe reversed it! Brandon comes back off the ropes... Cross Bodyblock by Brandon... BUT GABE CAUGHT HIM! He holds Brandon for a few seconds as the fans cheer him on... FALLAWAY SLAM BY THE SENTINEL!!! Gabe gets back up, but Brandon won't stay down either. Gabe grabs him as he stands up... AND CHOKESLAMS HIM TO THE CANVAS!!!

Jim: He's intent on getting back at Brandon, isn't he?

Gallivan: Gabe hooks Shane's leg, and here's the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Gabe picks up Shane and cinches him up... PUMP-HANDLE SLAM BY THE SENTINEL! Without hesitation, Gabe heads for the corner. He's heading up top! Jack Spade is watching as Gabe balances on the top. He's a big man to be up there. He dives off... TOP ROPE ELBOWDROP BY GABRIEL BLADE!!! Blade hooks the leg and this could be it... 1... 2... No! Shane Brandon kicked out!

Jim: That was close.

Gallivan: Gabe is up and drags Brandon back to his feet again. The Threat tries to fight back, snapping off a few shots to the gut, but Gabe cinches him up... AND POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE MAT! Gabe held the powerbomb position, folding Brandon in half for the cover... 1... 2... NO! Brandon kicked out again!

Jim: Gabe thought he had it there.

Gallivan: Well, it was amazing that Brandon had the strength to kick out. Gabe was pressing all of his weight down on the Threat. Gabriel Blade is back up, and he curls and uncurls his hands as he waits on Brandon. Shane stands back up, and Gabe charges... Gabe went for the Spear, but Brandon countered with a Kneelift! He was still knocked back, but Gabe had his bell rung. Brandon bounces off the ropes... SWINGING NECKBREAKER BY BRANDON! He floats over onto Gabe for the cover... No, he starts pounding Gabe in the head! Gabe pulls him in tight to counter the punches, and rolls over onto Brandon. Now Gabe has the high ground. He starts swatting Brandon with Vader-like smacks! Brandon reaches up and grabs Gabe by the hair... and hits him with a Headbutt! He gouges the eyes of Gabe, and shoves the big man off him!

Jim: These guys are trying to tear each other apart!

Gallivan: Brandon stands up, trying to shake the cobwebs loose. He looks mad and flustered. Gabriel Blade is slow to get up too. Brandon turns back towards him... SUPERKICK BY SHANE BRANDON!!! NO!

Jim: Gabe ducked!

Gallivan: Jack Spade is down, and he's hurt! That Superkick found its mark on the referee after Gabe ducked at the last second.

Jim: Well, he took that shot right on the chin. Of course he's hurt!

Gallivan: Gabe wisely ignores the damage done to the ref and charges at Brandon! He hits him with a Clothesline, and hooks him for a Urinage! Hold on! Brandon blocks it with his foot, and repositions... REVERSE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP BY SHANE BRANDON! Gabe is down, and Brandon rolls out of the ring. Oh no!

Jim: Oh yes!

Gallivan: Brandon has just grabbed a steel chair from ringside, and you can bet that Ken Holbrook is enjoying watching this backstage. Hoss doesn't look too happy about this, but he's keeping his distance from the Threat. Brandon rolls into the ring and just stands over Gabe with that chair in his hand. He's staring down at him with a look of disgust on his face. Brandon brings up the chair... AND SLAMS IT DOWN ACROSS GABE'S BACK!!! Now, he repositions, and rams the edge of that chair into the ribs of Gabe! And again! These fans are voicing their anger towards Shane Brandon, but he looks like he's actually having fun in there. Jack Spade is still down in the corner while Brandon now just flails away at Gabe with that chair! He's slamming it down across the Sentinel with little regard for which part of him gets hit!

Jim: Is this it? Are we finally going to see somebody put Blade out to pasture once and for all?

Gallivan: After fighting for a good 35 minutes, there's no way Gabe can defend himself against this brutal assault. He's trying his best to cover up, but the Threat is just pummelling him. Brandon holds the chair like a bat now... AND JUST WAILS AWAY ON GABRIEL BLADE'S BACK! Now, he pulls Gabe up by his hair, positions the chair against his back... AND LIFTS HIM UP FOR A BACKBREAKER ONTO THE CHAIR!!!

[Despite the look of pain on his face from that move, Brandon holds Gabe across his knee and that chair, pushing down on him with his hands to apply even more pressure.]

Gallivan: This is inhuman! Jack Spade is slowly making his way back to his feet in the corner, and Hoss Titan is shouting warnings to Shane about the chair. Brandon slowly shoves Gabe off his knee, dropping him to the canvas. He picks up the steel chair. Now, Brandon walks across the ring, limping from the damage done to his own knee!

Jim: He doesn't care about getting hurt along the way. Tonight is the end of Gabriel Blade's short career.

Gallivan: Brandon casually walks over to Spade, who is dragging himself to his feet in the corner... AND SLAMS HIM ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT CHAIR!!!

Jim: Well, being a ref is a tough job, especially in the UWS.

Gallivan: Spade just crumbled to the mat. Now, Brandon looks back at the shambles that is Gabriel Blade, who despite everything is still trying to stand up. Brandon walks over and helps Gabe to his feet. He gently shoves him into the corner. Now, Shane takes a step back, holds the chair in two hands... AND WRAPS IT AROUND THE HEAD OF GABRIEL BLADE!!!

[The audience is stunned by the clang of metal on bone. They quickly recover and respond with a chorus of boos. Brandon just drops the dented chair and watches with a smirk as Gabriel Blade falls forward to the mat.]

Gallivan: Gabe's been busted open by that shot, but more importantly, he's been knocked clean out!

Jim: LOOK AT THAT CHAIR! YOU COULD EAT SOUP OUT OF IT!!! I don't think I've ever seen anyone deliver a chairshot like that.

Gallivan: Well, I don't know if I've ever seen anyone TAKE a chairshot like that! Brandon is dead serious now, and that doesn't bode well for the Sentinel. Hang on! Here comes Craig Lassiter!

[Lassiter charges out of the backstage area, wearing his referee gear. Almost instantly, the members of UWS security at ringside run out to the entrance ramp, and block it. Craig tries to push through them, but they grab him, and forcibly push him back to the entrance curtain.]

Gallivan: What the hell are they doing?

Jim: He's not the legal ref in this match. We all saw what happened in the UWS Unified Title match. We can't have refs just showing up and inserting themselves into matches, can we?

Gallivan: Jack Spade is out cold! Are you saying it's better to have no ref than Craig Lassiter?

Jim: When Shane Brandon's dishing out some anti-justice on the business end of a steel chair... Yes!

Gallivan: In the ring, Shane rolls Gabe over onto his back, and just stares down at his bloody face. He pulls Gabe by the feet into the middle of the ring. Waitaminute! Brandon steps in with his leg and turns him over... SHARPSHOOTER BY SHANE BRANDON!!! This kid is out cold and Brandon is trying to finish him off!

Jim: Oh, this is it! Get the ambulance ready boys. Cause unless Gabe can get a back transplant, his career is gonna be over.

Gallivan: The pain is bringing Gabe back to life, but it would have been better for him to remain unconscious. There's no ref to stop the match if Gabe does submit! Brandon is gritting his teeth and yanking back on Gabe's legs, and there's just nowhere for him to go! Hoss Titan, who looks a mess outside the ring, is finally starting to calm down. He reaches into the ring and pulls the steel chair out, hiding it under the apron. Now, he moves over to the corner, and starts fanning Jack Spade with his hankerchief!

Jim: As soon as Spade comes to, this match will be over. Gabe's suffered too much damage to his back to keep going.

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade's face is covered in blood now, and the look on his face says just what kind of agony he's in. Shane Brandon has closed his eyes, and is just cranking back on that Sharpshooter!

Jim: Scorpion Deathlock.

Gallivan: Whatever you want to call it, it's threatening to break Gabe in half. Waitaminute! Here comes Michael Burke!

[The Demolition Man, wearing the UWS Hardcore Title around his waist, breaks through the entrance curtain and starts running towards the ring. The remaining members of the security team charge out to block him.]

Gallivan: Gabe is still trying to break out of the Sharpshooter in the ring, but he's not making much progress.

Jim: How long has he been in that move?

Gallivan: Burke barrels into two members of the security team, knocking them over! Another one grabs him by the arm... BUT BURKE HIPTOSSES HIM OVER THE SECURITY RAILING INTO THE CROWD! A fourth tries to tackle Burke, but only succeeds in knocking him back a few steps. Burke grabs the kid by the waist... AND POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE FLOOR!

Jim: Not that easy, Demolition Man.

Gallivan: It's Tumbler! What the hell is he doing here!

[Tumbler appears out of the crowd behind Burke and jumps up onto the steel guardrail.]

Gallivan: Tumbler balances on top of the guardrail while Burke kicks away one of the security guards who has returned... MISSILE DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY TUMBLER!!!

Jim: Hoo-doggie! This show is kicking ass already!

Gallivan: Burke was driven forward, falling onto the entrance ramp. Tumbler is back up and hits Burke with a brutal Snap Kick in the chest! He grabs Burke in a Side Headlock... AND BULLDOGS HIM TO THE FLOOR!!! Tumbler completely took Michael Burke off-guard with that attack from behind and now he's pulling the Hardcore Title off him!

[Tumbler holds the UWS Hardcore Title into the air with a grin. He starts back-pedaling away from Burke, who is slowly getting up.]

Gallivan: Burke's been given a bloody lip by that Bulldog, but he's crawling back to his feet and starts moving towards Tumbler. The happy look on Tumbler's face has all but disappeared as Burke starts to charge! He barrels into Tumbler, who tries desperately to stay up! Burke rams him back into the wall of the arena! Tumbler starts firing punches down at Burke, and the two tussel to the floor! Tumbler breaks free and picks up the Hardcore Title. He tries to run through the entrance curtain, but Burke tackles him from behind, and both men go falling through the curtain!

Jim: Follow them!

Gallivan: Jim, believe it or not, we've still got a match going on in the ring! Gabriel Blade is just being tortured by Shane Brandon, but somehow this kid is still fighting!

Jim: That's impossible.

Gallivan: Gabe has managed to pull himself and Brandon closer to the ropes, but he still looks miles away! Jack Spade has finally come back to his senses.

[Spade drags himself to his feet, holding the back of his head. He looks around, dazed, but shakes the cobwebs loose and goes back to work.]

Gallivan: Spade holds himself up by the top rope as he asks Gabe if he wants to give! Fans, this is almost a carbon-copy of the first Iron Man when Brandon literally punished Gabe until his body quit on him. This time, he's been assaulted by a steel chair and been wrestling for nearly an hour, and he's still fighting!

Jim: Heart only goes so far. Eventually, every body will reach its breaking point.

Gallivan: Shane Brandon has gone to some faraway place, and his body is only concerned with pulling back on that sharpshooter, trying to end this match, and possibly Gabriel Blade's career! Spade asks Gabe again, but this kid refuses to give it up.

Jim: This match means nothing! There's no belts on the line, no points, no nothing! Gabe's got an Iron Man match later tonight! Is this kid that stupid? (yelling) JUST GIVE UP!

Gallivan: If you ask Gabriel Blade, he'd tell you that every match means something. There isn't gold or money or status on the line, just two men desperately trying to find out which of them is better on this given night. Spade's faculties are slowly coming back to him, so at least we've got a ref out here. Of course, Shane Brandon should have been disqualified long ago for bringing in that chair.

Jim: There you go again, smearing the good name of Shane Brandon. Frankly, Johnny, I expected better.

Gallivan: Fans, I don't know how to describe what I'm watching in this ring. Brandon continues to punish Gabriel Blade, and the kid continues to fight! Even now, he's slowly but surely pulling himself closer and closer to those ropes! The fans are cheering every inch of his progress! Spade continues to ask him, but Gabe is just shaking his head! You can see a line of blood underneath Gabe charting his progress thus far. I can't believe what I'm seeing. Shane Brandon straightens up now, and tries to walk Gabe back to the center of the ring... BUT HE'S FIGHTING IT!

Jim: No way!

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade is clawing his fingernails into the canvas trying to hold on to his position! Brandon steps his right foot forward, but he just can't pull Gabe an inch! He tries one more time, but can't budge him! Finally, Brandon just sits down again, and cranks back on the Scorpion Deathlock again!

Jim: Sharpshooter.

Gallivan: Whatever. Gabe is fighting with whatever he's got left and he's somehow still making progress towards those ropes!

Jim: Hoss Titan looks like he's watching an elephant have sex with a pig! He just can't believe what he's seeing!

Gallivan: Neither can I. Jack Spade asks Gabriel Blade one more time, but he just shakes his head, blood now dripping from his nose and chin! He pulls Brandon another fraction of an inch and reaches out for the bottom rope! His fingers are literally centimetres away from that rope!

Jim: Metric buffoon.

Gallivan: Brandon has gone back to his trance and he's leaning back as far as he can, further punishing the Sentinel's back! Can he do it? He's so close to those ropes!

Jim: Give up! Give up!

[With the fans all yelling and screaming, suddenly the bell rings.]

Jim: What? What happened?

Gallivan: Someone has rung the bell! Shane Brandon releases the hold and falls forward onto the canvas!

Jim: Did he submit? What happened?

Gallivan: I'm being told... Dear God! We've got a time limit draw!

[There is a huge backlash from the fans as the match ends. Gabriel Blade rolls onto his back and pulls himself into the corner, unable to stand.]

Gallivan: He was in that hold for at least 15 minutes.

Jim: And those 15 minutes must have felt like an eternity.

Gallivan: Despite the negative reaction from these fans, both these men deserve accolades for this match.

Jim: But the important thing is... Gabe lost.

Gallivan: No he didn't!

Jim: Yeah, but he would have. He was miles away from those ropes, and he just didn't have anything left to fight back.

Gallivan: I'm not even going to justify that with a response.

[Without Jim's coaching, suddenly the fans start to chant "FIVE MORE MINUTES!" over and over again, getting louder and louder. In the ring, Brandon slumps into the opposite corner and watches as Gabe desperately tries to stand despite the incredible look of pain on his face.]

Gallivan: We saw this at the end of the Thorn/Jamison match. That time it was 30 minutes, but this time, they've gone a full hour in that ring.

Jim: Gabe's just about finished, but Brandon looks like he could go all night.

Gallivan: I don't know about that, Jim. I think Shane is just hiding his exhaustion better than Gabe. Both men have pulled out just about everything tonight. Jack Spade is checking on Gabriel Blade, who is finally back to his feet. He's asking him if he thinks he can continue. Gabe is barely recognisable with the crimson mask that he's sporting, but you can still see the will to win in his eyes.

Jim: Is this kid forgetting that he's got the Quick Snap later tonight?

Gallivan: Right now, the only thing on his mind is pushing back the clock, and finishing that for which they came so far.

Jim: Yeah, whatever.

Gallivan: Gabe raises his hand to the fans, as if to respond to their chants of "Five more minutes." Spade nods, and heads over to Shane Brandon.

[An especially keen cameraman jumps onto the ring apron, and gets a closeup of Shane Brandon's face. Despite his controlled breathing, Shane's red face and open mouth betray his exhaustion. As Shane stares, unflinching, at Gabe across the ring, a strange smile plays onto his face. He brings his hand up, palm forward, as someone would do to sign the number 5, then slowly lowers his fingers one at a time in a disjointed and supremely haughty sort of wave towards Gabe. With that, Brandon steps through the ropes to the ring apron, and drops to the floor.]

Gallivan: What is he doing?

Jim: I'll tell you what he's doing. He's leaving!

[The cheers and chants of the fans turn sour as Shane Brandon slowly begins his walk from the ring down the entrance ramp. He walks impossibly slow, as if to savor the moment. The cameras cut to a closeup of Gabriel Blade's face, which is a combination of shock and sheer anger, still dripping blood. The fans continue to boo until Brandon disappears through the entrance curtain. At ringside, Hoss Titan breaks out of his trance, and runs up the entrance ramp after his meal ticket.]

Gallivan: Fans, I don't know what to say. I can't believe Shane Brandon would just walk out like that, leaving this match unfinished. That's the ultimate insult to Gabriel Blade.

Jim: Unfinished? He wrestled for 60 minutes! Just because Gabe couldn't get it done in 60 minutes, should he have to give him another chance? Frankly, The Sentinel should be glad he's leaving, because if they started up again, Shane would only beat him like he did before. The good guys don't win, Gallivan. Movies and TV have lied to you all these years. The best they can hope for is a draw. And tonight, Gabriel Blade didn't even deserve that.

Gallivan: What a crock! I've never seen Gabriel Blade wrestle better, or Shane Brandon for that matter. This match was epic. But one thing is for certain, Gabriel Blade is shattered. This was not the ending he was hoping and training for. Gabe takes a few seconds to acknowledge the fans, who give him a round of applause, then heads backstage. He's still got a Quick Snap match tonight, but I'm not sure how much gas he's going to have left.

Jim: Why is Brandon the bad guy for walking out of this match? He's got another match too! It's a friggin' double standard.

Gallivan: Whatever it is, I think we will see Brandon/Blade III sooner or later. Hang on. Ken Holbrook is making his way to ringside here. Jack Spade was about to leave, but Holbrook has confronted him outside the ring. Ken's waved off the cameras, so I'm not sure what they are talking about, but Ken looks upset. I'm speculating that he wanted Spade to help Brandon win.

Jim: You can't speculate that! Jesus, maybe Spade parked in the LWA President parking space. Maybe he forgot to sign his referee's licence. Maybe he had a bunch of pizzas sent to Holbrook's house on Friday night. There's no way that you can speculate that Holbrook brought him in for nefarious purposes.

Gallivan: There is. And I can.

Jim: Pah!

Gallivan: Spade is protesting his innocence, and Holbrook seems to be calming down. He's issuing more instructions to Spade, who climbs back in the ring. Fans, it looks like Jack Spade will also be reffing our next match, which is the UWS Tag Team Title match.

Jim: If at first you don't succeed, try try again. But this time it's Lee Todd who has to watch out.

Gallivan: Before that, I'm being told that we are going to head backstage to try and track down Burke and Tumbler.

[The show cuts backstage, where we see Tumbler running through the halls, the UWS Hardcore Title clutched tight to his chest. He weaves back and forth, glancing back over his shoulder every few feet. Tumbler snickers as he gets closer to his own lockeroom. Suddenly, a door swings open, nailing Tumbler in the face.]

Gallivan: Woah! Tumbler got clocked by... Michael Burke!

[Burke steps out of the room, gasping for breath and holding a fire extinguisher.]

Gallivan: Tumbler is holding his nose, but trying to get back to his feet... AND BURKE BLINDS HIM WITH SPRAY FROM THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER! Tumbler tries to stand... BUT BURKE RAMS THE END OF THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE HEAD OF TUMBLER, DROPPING HIM LIKE A ROCK!!!

[Michael Burke drops the fire extinguisher and picks the Hardcore Title. He slings it over his shoulder, and walks off down the hallway.]

[The show cuts back to ringside, specifically the announce table.]

Gallivan: Am I going to need a scorecard to keep track of this Hardcore Title?

Jim: The only champ you need to remember is me!

Gallivan: Fans, it's now time for the UWS Tag Team Title match. The UK--

[The arena goes absolutely pitch black for a few moments. A single spotlight appears and flashes around the arena before coming to a halt, right at the Syni-tron. Still in silence, it begins to come to life with the sound of a heartbeat ticking over and over as a few words appear on the screen.]

Gallivan: Now what's this all about?

[A large explosion of pyrotechnics go off, and with that a large record scratch is heard; Bodyrock by Moby plays out through the speakers. Stu-E walks through the curtain, when he does a massive blue and white laser show kicks off as he slowly walks to ringside, stopping halfway. Stu looks around the arena before raising both arms in the air and running to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope. When inside the ring he goes to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle and waves to the crowd before calling for a microphone.]

Gallivan: Well, it looks like one third of the tag champions is coming out early. I guess he's got something to say.

Jim: Poor Stu-E. He still doesn't have a belt.

[Stu paces around the ring, as if to go over what he has to say one last time.]

Stu: Hi.

Jim: Well, that was worth the wait.

Gallivan: I think he's just getting started. Hang on! Here comes Ice!

Jim: Who?

Gallivan: Dake Ken's former manager, and current tag team partner, Ice.

[Ice leaps out of the crowd and slides into the ring behind Stu. He attacks him from behind, knocking him to the mat and starts pounding on him once down.]

Gallivan: What the hell is going on?

Jim: I don't know, but Dake ken is looking to get in on the action too!

[Dake Ken now leaps out of the crowd, carrying a baseball bat.]

Gallivan: In the ring, Stu is fighting back, throwing punches at Ice. Dake Ken slides into the ring... AND RAMS THE HEAD OF THAT BAT INTO STU'S BACK!

Jim: Ouch.

Gallivan: Ice gets to his feet and grabs Stu-E from behind. He holds his arms behind his back while Dake Ken takes a few practice swings.

Jim: Batter up!

Gallivan: Dake Ken steps into it... AND CRACKS THE BAT OFF ACROSS THE STOMACH OF STU-E PRICE!!! Stu curls up in a ball, and it looks like Dake Ken is a little surprised himself at that.

[UWS security quickly jumps into the ring and Ice and Dake Ken take a powder.]

Gallivan: After this heinous attack, Stu is being helped out of the ring by UWS security. He could have suffered broken ribs from that brutal hit. But where were his tag team partners?

Jim: Well, Tumbler was getting extinguished in the hallway. Lee Todd is probably getting ready for the match, which is where Stu should have been instead of coming out here on his own to talk crap.

Gallivan: Needless to say, Stu-E doesn't get a lot of respect in the UWS lockerooms these days.

Jim: And we all know why, right?

Gallivan: Huh?

Jim: Come on, it's no big secret. We know it, the people watching at home know it, but still we're not allowed to say it. Well, I'm gonna say it.

Gallivan: Jim, I think you'd better rethink--

Jim: Stu-E Price is moonlighting in FHW.

Gallivan: Oh dear.

Jim: Yep, everybody knows it. While he's putting in a showing here in the UWS, Stu-E is competing against all the freaks in FHW.

Gallivan: Let's just get to the match, shall we?

Jim: Whatsamatter, Johnny? Afraid of the truth? Well somebody better tell Stu that he'll never win a World Title in FHW. You know why?

Gallivan: Why, too much competition?

Jim: No! They don't have a world title!

Gallivan: Fans, I'm being told that the match will go ahead as planned. So, let's throw it to Ryan Lockheart for the introductions.

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Underworld Wrestling Syndicate World Tag Team Championship.

Gallivan: Jack Spade is ready to ref this one. He called the last match right down the middle, but I'm not so sure about this one. But, he has been waiting patiently in the ring.

Jim: You never give a guy a break, do you Gallivan? Jack Spade has turned over a new leaf. And he looks good. Spade is much trimmer than he was during his last appearance.

Gallivan: Well, we last saw Jack Spade at the 2001 Iron Man when he was helping out the guys during the Wheel of Chaos. It's surprising, almost two years later, how many people we have returning for the Iron Man.

Lockheart: First, the challengers. Coming to the ring at this time, Dake Ken and Ice... DAMAGE INCORPORATED!!!

["Parabola" by Tool begins to play as the lights dim in the arena. As the lyrics begin, Dake Ken steps through the entrance curtain. He stands for a while looking at the crowd. As he does, Ice steps out through the curtain and stands behind him. Both men start to walk down the ramp towards the ring.]

Lockheart: And their opponents, the UWS Tag Team Champions. Representing the UK Crew. Coming to the ring at this time, at a combined weight of 462 lbs... LEE F'N' TODD AND TUMBLER!!!

[The lights in the arena dim as Sweet Child of Mine rips through the arena, dry ice fills the aisle as Lee F'n' Todd steps through the curtain a bottle of brown ale held high above his head in his left hand. A two fingered salute on his right. Strolling down the aisle he's followed by a trench coat clad Lola. Making a slow march to the ring he hops up on the apron knocks back his ale before handing the bottle to Lola. Climbing through the middle rope he pauses like an agitated Lion staring down his opponents.]

Gallivan: Well, Stu-E has been brutally attacked by Dake Ken and Ice, and Tumbler was just laid out by Michael Burke minutes ago. I guess Lee will have to defend the belts on his own here tonight.

Jim: Ha! That's what he gets for complaining about a tough schedule.

Gallivan: Here's the bell, and we are ready to go. Dake Ken is going to start off against Lee Todd, who looks understandably nervous in there. They lock up in the middle of the ring, and Lee Todd drives a Knee into Dake's midsection! He cinches a Front Facelock, but Dake shoves him up against the ropes. Jack Spade puts a count on Lee to break the hold, and he does.

Jim: What? Wow, he must really be a face now!

Gallivan: Lee releases Ken and lets him back up. He charges at him... hitting Dake Ken with a Spinning Back Elbow to the head! Lee picks Ken up, Bodyslamming him to the mat. Dake Ken tries to stand, but Lee is right there to grab him by the hair. He cinches Ken... AND POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE CANVAS! Lee follows this up... WITH AN ELEVATED BOSTON CRAB ON DAKE KEN!! Jack Spade checks for the submission... BUT ICE HITS THE RING, NAILING LEE WITH A LARIAT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Lee Todd falls forward to the mat and Jack Spade promptly sends Ice back to his position on the ring apron.

Jim: Two on one, it looks like the UK Crew are gonna lose the belts tonight.

Gallivan: Actually, Jim. They don't like being called the UK Crew.

Jim: What? I'll call them whatever the hell I like. How about the Brit Pack?

Gallivan: Whatever you say, Jim. Dake Ken is back to his feet in the ring, but so is Lee Todd. Ken charges at him for a Clothesline, but Lee ducks under it! He reaches back, grabbing Dake Ken for the Fuck U... but Ken breaks free! Lee spins around and boots Dake Ken in the guts! He cinches him for a Front Facelock... SPINNING FRONT LAYOUT SUPLEX BY LEE TODD! He scrambles back to his feet just as Ice charges back into the ring... AND CATCHES HIM FOR A SPINEBUSTER!!! Lee's doing surprisingly well against these two competitors.

Jim: Even without the rest of The Diamond Geezers.

Gallivan: Whatever are you on about? Jack Spade forces Ice to head back to the apron again, and is calling it right down the middle in this match as well. Dake Ken is back up, but Lee has his back to him. He turns around... SUPERKICK IN THE FACE BY DAKE KEN!

Jim: Well, it looks like the luck's run out for the leader of Her Majesty's Finest.

Gallivan: Dake Ken quickly puts the boots to Lee Todd. He grabs Todd by the foot and drags him into his corner and tags off to Ice. Dake Ken holds down Lee's legs... as Ice hits him with a Legdrop! Both men are up and begin stomping the hell out of Lee Todd! Jack Spade steps in between them and warns Dake Ken about a disqualification, sending him to the ring apron. Ice picks up Lee and Irish Whips him off the ropes. He ducks down for a Backdrop, but telegraphed it! Lee grabs him... DOUBLE-ARM DDT!!! Again, Dake Ken doesn't want to stand on the ring apron, and he climbs into the ring... AND KNOCKS LEE DOWN WITH A JUMPING LARIAT!

Jim: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly are about to lose the belts. Say hello to the new champs... Damage Inc.

Gallivan: Spade is getting more forceful, but he hasn't disqualified Damage Inc just yet. Spade gives Dake Ken a bit of a shove as he heads back to the ring apron, as if to warn him that he won't tolerate any more of this. Ice is stomping on Lee, and Lee has backed into the corner in a bid to defend himself. Ice jumps up, hitting a falling Dropkick square in the face of the seated Lee Todd! Ice is back up, and now he just starts laying the boots to the LWA Division Champion.

Jim: Hold on there, Johnny. Here comes another member of The UWS's Official A.A. Representatives.

Gallivan: It's Tumbler! He's still covered in dust from that fire extinguisher, but he's on his way to the ring! Tumbler doesn't go for the ring apron, he slides right into the ring... but he's cut off by Jack Spade! Spade holds onto Tumbler, pushing him towards his corner. After some complaints, Tumbler steps through the ropes to the apron.

Jim: We've got two-thirds of British Beef in that ring now, so this might give them a chance. I don't expect Stu Price to be out here, though.

Gallivan: In the ring, Ice is still beating on Lee Todd in the corner. He's switched from kicks to punches now. He lifts up Lee, and Irish Whips him off the ropes. Lee ducks under a Clothesline and heads off the far ropes, as does Ice. Ice tags off to Dake Ken as he bounces off the ropes... and so does Lee! They come back into the middle of the rope... DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY LEE AND ICE! Dake Ken climbs into the ring, and Tumbler jumps over the top rope and both men are in! They charge at each other, and Tumbler leapfrogs over the ducking Dake Ken. Tumbler puts on the brakes, spins around... and fires a Dropkick to the back of Dake Ken's knee! Tumbler grabs Dake Ken from behind by the head... INVERTED DDT BY TUMBLER! He hooks the leg of Dake Ken, and Jack Spade drops down for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: Close one. The North-East-Sidaz almost pulled it off.

Gallivan: Jim, how many of these names have you got written down in front of you?

Jim: Not telling. I just hope the match lasts long enough to use them all.

Gallivan: As Lee Todd and Ice roll out of the ring and take their places on the ring apron, Tumbler is heading up to top rope in one of the neutral corners! Dake Ken is slow to get up. He's up, and Tumbler leaps off the top... FORWARD SOMERSAULT HEEL KICK BY TUMBLER!!! He clocked Dake Ken, and sent him rolling back towards the opposite neutral corner.

Jim: Time for the Brotherhood Of Tomfoolery, or BOT for short, to wrap this one up.

Gallivan: Tumbler flips back to his feet, and charges in after Dake Ken, who has covered up in the corner. He leaps at him... BUT RUNS INTO A MAFIA KICK TO THE FACE!!!

Jim: That was a desperate move by Ken, but it certainly shut down The Full Monty's game.

Gallivan: Ken stumbles across the ring, and leaps towards his corner, tagging Ice back in. Frequent tags by the challengers. Ice heads in and picks up Tumbler by the hair.

Jim: Earth, Wind, and Fire are in trouble now!

Gallivan: Earth, Wind, and Fire? Which one is which?

Jim: I don't know. They're all pretty windy.

Gallivan: Ice hoists Tumbler across his back for what looks like a Death Valley Driver... but Tumbler Crucifixes Ice into a pinning attempt! Spade makes the count... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men scramble back to their feet, and Ice fires off a Front Kick against Tumbler... but he catches it! Ice jumps up for an Enzuigiri Kick... but Tumbler ducks! Ice hits the canvas face first, but quickly regains his vertical base.

Jim: The Brit Gang aren't done yet!

Gallivan: Tumbler leaps up... AND HURRACANRANAS ICE TO THE CANVAS! He quickly runs into a neutral corner, and runs straight up the ropes to the top! Tumbler turns back to face the downed figure of Ice... TERRIBLE TUMBLE!!! He nailed that somersault top rope legdrop dead on. Tumbler drapes his form across Ice, and Jack Spade drops down to make the cover! Hang on! Dake Ken charges into the ring, but Lee Todd runs in to cut him off! The two of them crash into one another and start throwing punches! Here's the count from Spade... 1... 2... 3!!! Jack Spade calls for the bell and this one is over!

Jim: Looks like Three Guys from Darlington have defended the titles.

Gallivan: Is that the last of your nicknames for the UK Crew?

Jim: Um, did I use the term, The Royal Family?

Gallivan: I don't know.

Jim: Well, that's the last of them.

Gallivan: Well, the combatants are being ushered backstage to clear the ring, because it's now time for the Iron Man!

Jim: Wait one second. Here comes Ken Holbrook!

[Ken Holbrook steps out through the entrance curtain once again and starts hobbling to the ring. Ken is still wearing a neckbrace and walking with the aid of his silver cane. He looks visible upset.]

Gallivan: Holbrook's making a beeline for the ring. Meanwhile, Jack Spade is taking advantage of his 15 minutes of fame to sign a few autographs at ringside.

[Holbrook grabs a microphone and climbs into the ring. He stares down at Jack Spade at ringside, sneering at him.]

Holbrook: What the hell do you think you're doing?

[Spade looks up at his former tag team partner, then goes back to signing autographs.]

Holbrook: Do you realize what you just did? You just let Lee Todd and his misfit of a brother walk away with my UWS Tag Team Titles! I'm no fan of Dake Ken and Ice, but anybody is better than those losers. YOU IDIOT!

[Jack Spade finally turns around to face Holbrook. As Holbrook continues to rant, Spade slowly climbs the ringsteps into the ring.]

Holbrook: I paid for your flight over from Japan, I paid for your accomodations... (pointing to the Syni-tron) Hell, I even got the boys in the truck to put together that video package for you! And this is the thanks I get? I've got half a mind--

[Spade reaches out and grabs the microphone from Holbrook, prompting a mini-cheer from the fans.]

Spade: That video package? The one that showed me getting my ass kicked by Penance and showed me playing the part of your eager lapdog? Ken, I've been talking to the boys in the back since my return, and they tell me that you take any opportunity to talk about the glory days. Our glory days. The days when you and me held the SWWF Tag Team Titles. Well, do you also tell them that I carried you in that ring, night after night?

[The crowd cheers as Holbrook's face starts turning red, almost red enough to match his suit.]

Spade: Do you mention how the Royal Flush gang got paid directly through you, and that we never knew how much money you were skimming off the top until it was all over? Do you mention that, Ken? How about the reincarnation of the Royal Flush? Do you mention your great scheme to run roughshod over the LWA with me, Lilith, and Null, and the mystery man who would be our king? But you never had a king, did you? The gimmick bombed, and the fans didn't give a shit. Why was that? I'll tell you why... because you wanted to run the show, but you couldn't cut it in the ring!

[Ken takes a step back from Spade, getting more and more upset.]

Jim: He can't say that to the boss! Fire him!

Gallivan: Spade doesn't work here, Jim.

Jim: Ok, put him on the payroll and then fire him!

Gallivan: Who are you, J. Jonah Jameson?

Spade: Me, I've never pretended to be a great wrestler. I'm a big guy with a few fundamentals under my belt, but that's about it. But you, you thought you were the technician. You thought you could hang with the best of them. I watched when you made a mockery of the LWA at Ghosts of the Past, inserting yourself into the main event. And then, at the first UWS PPV, you did the same thing... with the same results. Face it, Ken! You are a little man who can't play with the big boys! You hate everyone who's better than you... and that's just about everyone! I may not have achieved much in my wrestling career... BUT NEITHER HAVE YOU!

[Holbrook turns towards Spade and brings up his cane to strike him.]

Gallivan: Spade catches Ken's arm! He stares down into the face of Ken Holbrook, looking surprisingly calm.

Spade: You're not worth it.

[Jack Spade lets go, tosses the microphone, and moves to leave the ring.]

Gallivan: Wow, how's that for an insult. Waitaminute! Holbrook charges at Spade, cracking him across the back of the neck with that silver cane!!! Now, he starts wailing away on Spade's back with the walking stick! He's gone completely berzerk!

Jim: Can you blame him? He brings Jack Spade back to the UWS, giving him a few moments to shine, and what does he get? A bunch of grief, that's what.

Gallivan: Spade goes down to one knee, and I can hear Holbrook screaming at him in that ring! He raises the cane again... BUT SPADE TURNS AND RAMS HIS SHOULDER INTO HOLBROOK'S MIDSECTION! He picks up the LWA President... AND AIRPLANE SPINS HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! Listen to these fans!

Jim: Why do they hate him so?

Gallivan: Because he's a bigger asshole than Bob Holly!

Jim: Hey! Whoah. Don't say something that you'll regret.

Gallivan: Ok, maybe that was a bit strong. Nobody's that big an asshole. Spade deposits Holbrook in the middle of the ring, and now he's leaving. Hold on! The fans are cheering, and Jack Spade looks around... and raises his arm! He points at the top rope, and now he's heading up!

Jim: Where's our security!

Gallivan: The UWS security team is just watching this all happen. Hold on, Mr. Toasty Bacon has stepped through the entrance curtain, and he's headed towards ringside! Jack Spade climbs onto the top rope... walks across the ropes to the middle of the rope... JACK HIGH ONTO KEN HOLBROOK!!! Spade dropped that huge elbowdrop onto the LWA Prez in the middle of the ring! Mr. Toasty Bacon is too late! He climbs into the ring, and Jack Spade wisely takes a powder. Instead of chasing him, Mr. Toasty Bacon administers to his boss, who is coughing and crying in that ring.

[The cameras follow Jack Spade, who is enjoying his brief fanfare, to the backstage area. There, Craig Lassiter is standing backstage, talking to Donnie Rose, head of production. Spade smiles at Lassiter as he passes by, and Lassiter gives him a wink and continues talking.]

[The show cuts to a room where Stu-E Price is being treated by Dr. Zamboolah. His torso is heavily taped from his waist up to his armpits.]

Dr. Zamboolah: Dere, dat should do it.

[Stu groans in pain as Dr. Zamboolah starts to put away his equipment. Then, Edmund Paine peeks into the room.]

Paine: Stu! Are you ok, Stu-E?

Stu: (groaning) That's just what I need.

Paine: I do hope you're ok. Oh, I just thought I'd tell you that that nice Mr. Holbrook transferred me to the OWF. That's the division you're in, isn't it? So, if you need anyone to give you sponge baths now that you're an invalid, Stu-E... I'm your man-child.

[Stu just shakes his head as Paine disappears out of the room. He tries to stand, but is still in obvious pain. With Dr. Zamboolah's head turned, Stu carefully reaches down and grabs a small bottle labelled "Cortisone" from a nearby shelf, then heads out of the room.]

[The show cuts backstage as the Syni-tron lights up to show a pre-taped video package. It takes place in the parking garage of the arena. There, amidst lines of trucks, pallets, and forklifts, is "Sentinel" Gabriel Blade. Gabe is standing on top of the rollcage of a forklift, his hands resting on the sides of two transport trucks.]

Gabriel Blade: Some time ago the creative minds in control of the then defunct LWA got together and came up with an idea to give the LWA one more night of Glory; a series of events, a tournament featuring LWA superstars once again climbing into the ring in a celebration of our federation's illustrious past. And so, the Iron Man competition was born, and one faithful night, 16 of the LWA's best set out for the Utley Arena in Charlotte, North Carolina to see which of them had what it takes to become the Iron Man. On that night I gave a speech to the fans in attendance, to the wrestlers in competition, and to the world letting all know what the Iron Man tournament and wrestling itself meant to me. A lot's changed since that day. Like the Great Phoenix, the LWA has risen from its ashes to find new life along with the OWF here in the UWS. Much has changed for me, and for the world. We've seen Glorious victories and crushing defeats, and we've all grown up just a little. And now, the Iron Man comes again. Some of the events are the same, some are different. Some of the superstars are the same, some are new to us. Now the LWA is not alone in bringing the Iron Man to you, but is joined by its partner in the UWS. Now the Great event will span not one night, but 5 separate shows. A great deal has changed, but the Iron Man is still the noble Battle it than was, the Iron Man means as much to me now as it did then, and the speech I gave, with very slight modification, holds as true today as it did then. In fact, in a way the speech is even more fitting today as it was then, with the recent decline of wrestling in the main stream media. We are doubted now, as we were in the past, and we once again have the opportunity to prove ourselves. So, before the 2003 Iron Man begins, I have this to say:

[There is a pause as the Sentinel prepares to bring to you virtually the same words he brought to the world prior to the original Iron Man.]

Gabriel Blade: I stand before you tonight a Fighter who, with the 15 other Fighters who comprise this tournament seek to fight to prove our Honor. In the events to come we will shed our blood, sweat, and tears for you. We will give you all that is in us and more in our quest to be the best that we can be. In the world as it is today many people might question why it is we would do such a thing. Many question or integrity as athletes and our intelligence as we put our bodies on the line night after night. In today's society people will tell you there are no more Heroes in the world, no more Great Battles. They will tell you that such things are figments of the romantic past and anyone who believes in them today is a fool, (slowly, stressing each word) but they are wrong. People today have lost their belief in Heroes and their faith in Humanity, but the potential for Greatness is still there, inside each and every one of you! They say that in today's world of technology where anyone can have instant access to anyone else across the globe that the world is just too small for giants anymore. To them I say every man is a giant. The great thinker Arcamedies said "Give me a place to stand and I'll move the world." It is a message we should all take to heart. Any man can make a change, any man can be a Hero if he has the Will and the Faith to stand up to the world. There are Heroes in this world, their are Warriors, there are Giants! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There are Great Battles, there is Great Honor, there are Great Warriors everywhere men dare to fight for what they believe in! There will be an Epic Battle tonight, right here in this very ring when 16 Noble Warriors stand up for what we believe in and fight to prove our worth! Let those who criticize us come forth and witness our glory and still mock our Honor. Let them watch 16 Warriors put their Hearts and Souls on the line for you fans tonight! Let them watch each and every one of you give your cheers and your hearts to us because we are willing to give everything to you, and because you know, in spite of everything that they tell you, that there is Justice in this world, you know that there are Heroes alive today, and their will continue to be Heroes as long as their is goodness in a human being's heart, their will continue to be Heroes as long as their is one man willing to Fight for the Right against all odds. And when they see the passion in our eyes they too will know that their are Heroes in this world equal to all that have come before! And they will never again question the Honor in what we do after they see an Epic War before their very eyes. In the weeks to come, we will crown the LWA Iron Man as 16 man give of their very existences, give every fiber in their beings to show their Honor. Each and everyone of us knows what awaits us tonight and in the nights to come, we know that the Greatest Warrior shall win the day, and we are willing to test ourselves in any way in the hopes that that Great Warrior will be us. For we know that for each and every one of us Judgement Day is Coming... Prepare To Be Judged!

[The camera pulls back as Gabe just stares into it, his eyes burning with determination.]

[The show cuts back to ringside, showing the announce table. Jim Browski has his head down on the table, and is snoring loudly.]

Gallivan: Jim, show some respect.

Jim: (waking) Huh? What? Is it over? (he glances at his watch) Hooey, do we still have enough time for the Quick Snap after that diatribe?

Gallivan: You are something, you know that? Emotional stuff from Gabriel Blade, especially considering what happened at the end of his match against Shane Brandon. But now, after all the chaos we've already seen, it's finally time for the Iron Man 2003!

Jim: The 2001 Iron Man was something, let me tell you.

Gallivan: In case you are unaware, fans, the 2001 Iron Man Memorial Tournament was a show that was put on by the LWA back when it was its own wrestling federation. Well, technically it was the last show of the fed... a sort of farewell to the fans.

Jim: But two years later, and we're back.

Gallivan: It would appear so. But this time the LWA and OWF Divisions of the UWS will be competing to see just who is the toughest... who is the craftiest... who is the most resiliant... who is the best. The first event will take place tonight, and the rest will follow on every edition of Blackened, right up until the UWS Iron Man pay-per-view event. We are starting off with the technician's dream match... Quick Snap, my personal favorite. The rules are pretty simple. Two men face off in the ring. A list of 10 wrestling moves are chosen at random, and the first wrestler to pull of each move, gets a point. The match ends when all the moves have been executed successfully, or when the time runs out.

Jim: Let's just get it over with.

Gallivan: It's time for the first match, so take it away, Aspen Sandstrum.

[The cameras cut to the ring where Aspen is standing with a microphone in hand. Outside the ring is a large flipchart with the words Quick Snap on them.]

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Ten moves have been chosen at random, and the first wrestler to successfully perform each of these moves will receive a point. The match is over when all 10 moves have been completed, or when the 10 minute time limit expires.

Jim: Ten minutes isn't a lot of time.

Gallivan: Well, after Brandon/Blade, we don't have a lot of airtime left, so it's probably a good thing. But, the addition to the time limit this year makes the Quick Snap that much quicker.

Aspen: Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England, and weighing in at 240 lbs... STU-E PRICE!!!

[The arena goes absolutely pitch black for a few moments. A single spotlight appears and flashes around the arena before coming to a halt, right at the Syni-tron. Still in silence, it begins to come to life with the sound of a heartbeat ticking over and over as a few words appear on the screen.]

[A large explosion of pyrotechnics go off, and with that a large record scratch is heard; Bodyrock by Moby plays out through the speakers. Stu-E walks through the curtain, when he does a massive blue and white laser show kicks off as he slowly walks to ringside. Stu's upper body is heavily taped and he is walking very gingerly. When inside the ring he goes to the corner and waits patiently.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Ice. From Toronto, Ontario, and weighing in at 287 lbs... DAKE KEN!!!

["Parabola" by Tool begins to play as the lights dim in the arena. As the lyrics begin, Dake Ken steps through the entrance curtain. He stands for a while looking at the crowd. He start to walk down the ramp, he stops at the middle and pauses. He goes to the ring. Turn right and walks up the stairs. Stands in the middle of the ring.]

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Polish Hammer, Fisherman Suplex, Turnbuckle Stungun, Gutbuster, Wristlock, Cobra Clutch Slam, Fujiwara Armbar, Jumping Back Kick, Faceslam, and Superplex.

[As she finishes with the list of moves, a ring attendant flips over the first page on the flipchart, revealing the list of moves in big block letters.]

Gallivan: There they are. A pretty diverse range of moves. DI Rogers will be handling all of the Quick Snap matches tonight. He calls for the bell, and here we go! Stu-E just charges across the ring, hitting Dake Ken with a Clothesline! He knocked Ken to the mat and now Stu is just pounding away on him!

Jim: Stu! This is a technical wrestling match, not a brawl!

Gallivan: Well, you can't exactly blame Stu for wanting a little payback from that unprovoked attack by Damage Inc. earlier tonight. Dake Ken rolls over onto his back to cover up from these punches, but Stu just starts rabbit punching him in the back of the head! Now, he grabs one of Ken's arms and pulls it out from his side... AND APPLIES A FUJIWARA ARMBAR!

Jim: Stu is moving pretty effortlessly considering he could barely move a few minutes ago.

Gallivan: Stu is cranking back on that armbar, and looks to be enjoying the pain he's put Dake Ken in. The clock is ticking, however. Stu pulls back for one more crank, then releases the hold. He scrambles to his feet and grabs Ken by that same arm. Stu immediately applies a Wristlock!

Jim: There's another point for the crafty Brit.

Gallivan: Dake Ken twists out of the wristlock, and reverses it... INTO A SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!

Jim: That wasn't on the list.

Gallivan: Dake Ken dropped Stu with that move, and now he drops an elbow onto those heavily taped ribs of Stu Price! Dake Ken glances over at the movelist board as he stands up again. Stu is in terrible pain in there, and I'm not sure if he should even be in that ring in the first place.

Jim: Bah, work hurt. It's the UWS way.

Gallivan: Dake Ken pulls Stu up to his feet, and bends him over... GUTBUSTER BY DAKE KEN!

Jim: You puke! You maggot!

Gallivan: Thank you, Sarge. That move had to be brutal on those injured ribs of Price. Now, Dake Ken drops him to the canvas and glances over at the move list. These guys are rapidly running out of time here. Dake Ken picks up Price and locks on a Front Facelock. Ken hooks the leg of Price, going for the Fisherman, but Stu holds on! He jabs Ken in the throat to break the hold! Stu reverses the hold... and floats Dake Ken over for a Suplex!

Jim: No points there.

Gallivan: Every move he does or takes is punishing those injured ribs. Stu tries to get up, but Ken beats him to it. He boots Stu in the guts, doubling him over again. Again, he goes for the Fisherman, and again Stu blocks it with his foot. Hang on! Stu pulls out a Small Package on Dake Ken, but there's no pinfalls in this match, so Rogers waves it off. They break up and Ken is the first one up again. He swings a Polish Hammer at Stu... but he ducks! Stu swings a hammer of his own, but Dake Ken ducks... and Fireman Carries him to the mat! He drops another elbow... but Stu rolls out of the way! He regains his vertical base, as does Dake Ken. Ken swings at Stu, but he ducks under it, and goes for a Back Suplex... but Ken flips behind him. Stu spins around and catches another boot in the midsection... FACESLAM BY DAKE KEN!

Gallivan: Dake Ken caught Stu with that one, and he's in real pain here now. Ken is up and drags Stu to his feet. He whips him into the corner, and now he's hoisting him up onto the top turnbuckle.

Jim: If he hits a Superplex, Stu will be ripe for just about anything.

Gallivan: Maybe that's how Paine took advantage of him. Ken climbs onto the second rope and hits Stu with a couple of shots... but Stu is fighting back! The two trade punches on the top! Ken hits Stu with a nasty Forearm shot to the side of the head... and Stu hits a European Uppercut that sends Ken back to the canvas! Stu stands up onto the top rope...

Jim: There's the bell!

Gallivan: These guys have run out of time, and DI Rogers is telling Stu to come down off the top. Hold on! He dives off the top... SENTON BOMB ON DAKE KEN! Rogers has to pull Stu away from Dake Ken, but this match is over. The time limit has expired.

Jim: That seemed awful quick.

Gallivan: Well, that's because you talk so slow.

Jim: What?

Gallivan: Before our next match, let's take a look at what's going on backstage once again.

[The show cuts backstage in Ken Holbrook's office. Ken is lying back on his chair, which has been reclined back almost horizontally. He is looking extremely pale. Doc Andrews is attending to him, while Cid looks on from a chair against the wall.]

Doc Andrews: (putting away his stethoscope) You're fine. Do you want something for the pain?

Holbrook: (in a raspy voice) No, I'll manage. But I certainly don't feel fine.

Doc Andrews: Well, there will be a lot of bruising, but nothing has been broken. Just take it easy for a few days.

[Andrews leaves the room. Ken grunts in pain as he reaches over and opens up the mini-fridge next to his desk. He pulls out a Dr. Pepper and pops it open.]

Cid: I could really go for one of those.

Holbrook: What color do I look?

[Cid frowns and gets up out of his chair to retrieve his own beverage, a 7Up. He returns to his seat and pops it open.]

Holbrook: That's it, Cid. I've had it. Since I showed up in this stinking fed, I've been gassed by Dr. Karate, had my nose broken by Judas Dagon, been driven into the concrete by Gabriel Blade, and just about had my breastbone broken by my former tag team partner.

Cid: Well, we can increase your security. You've been wandering around on your own too much. Mr. Toasty Bacon should be at your side all the time.

Holbrook: No, I won't live like a prisoner. But on the life of my parents, I tell you this. Nobody... and I mean nobody, is going to lay their hands on me again and get away with it.

[The show cuts the parking lot, where Sin is standing amidst the vehicles.]

Sin: Brian Thorn, you have been warned but apparently you are too blinded by your own vanity to take concern to my actions which I have taken, and the actions I must take in the future. Brian Thorn, Pride is a very deadly sin, as of late your outcome has been favorable, but that all shall cease. You have been chastised for your Vanity, but there is more that meets the eye.

[He steps away from the camera and reveals an expensive luxury car.]

Gallivan: That's the car we saw Brian Thorn show up in tonight!

Sin: Along with the pathetic ogre Seun, you too are a glutton, but not of food. Brian Thorn is a glutton of possessions.

[Sin shakes his head slowly.]

Sin: Brian Thorn, you must be punished.

[He reveals a large metal cross with a sharp point at the end to the camera. Without hesitation he drives it into the front of the car and the scene cuts back to the announce table at ringside.]

Jim: That car was rented by Johnny Lassiter. This Sin guy is going to piss off the wrong guy sooner or later.

[The show cuts back to the announce table.]

Gallivan: Before our next match, let's take a look at the three men who took home medals at the last Iron Man. Several wrestlers elevated their game for certain events, but three were consistent enough to stay on top of the leaderboard when all was said and done. With the Bronze medal, Johnny Reb is the only medal winner who is not returning.

Jim: And tell them why he's not returning!

Gallivan: Well, Johnny Reb, who wrestled a fantastic tournament, was defeated in a retirement match just a month after the Iron Man, in the OWF of all places. In what was possibly a precursor to the UWS, this LWA sanctioned match took place on OWF television, and Shane Brandon beat everybody's favorite redneck to cement his position as king of the hill in the LWA.

Jim: Brandon won the first Iron Man, so he's got to be the odds-on favorite to repeat.

Gallivan: Indeed. Gabriel Blade, in his rookie year, won the Silver medal, and he had to be the true fan favorite of the event. This kid was brutalized during the competition, and still put on what many in the business believe to be the best match in LWA history when he took on Shane Brandon in the finals of the Iron Man Memorial Tournament. Gabe won the Silver and Brandon took the Gold as a result of that amazing final match. It looks like they are ready in the ring, so take it away Miss Sandstrum.

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Coming to the ring at this time, from Athens, Greece, and weighing in at 246 lbs... "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

[And Justice For All plays as Gabriel Blade steps onto the entrance ramp. Those observant of the human soul can easily see the wonder and awe still there in his eyes as he surveys the scene before turning to face the ring and marching resolutely forward. Gabe's head is patched up, and he's walking especially slow.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Dr. Karate. From Kyoto, Japan, weighing in at 219 lbs... UESUGI!!!

["Bad Blood" by Ministry begins to roar throughout the arena as Uesugi steps through the entrance curtain. He flicks back his soaking wet black hair, sending water flying into the air. Uesugi is shirtless and wearing plain black full-leg wrestling tights with no markings of any kind on them. Clenching and unclenching his fists, he calmly walks towards the ring. Behind him, Dr. Karate walks out, wearing his labcoat and surgical scrubs.]

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Swinging Neckbreaker, Inverted Shoulder Rack, Enzuigiri Kick, Surfboard, Ipponzei, Canadian Backbreaker, Waistlock Suplex, Pedigree, Elbowdrop, and Abdominal Stretch.

Gallivan: Gabe still looks exhausted.

Jim: Well, he didn't get a lot of time to rest after his match against Brandon.

Gallivan: Yeah, and I wonder who organized the brackets for the Quick Snap.

Jim: Johnny, that speculative mouth of yours is gonna get yourself fired one of these days.

Gallivan: I just call them as I see them. Rogers calls for the bell, and here we go! Uesugi opens up with a Snap Kick to the midsection of Gabe, but he blocked it with his arms! A Back Kick by Uesugi finds its way through his defenses! Uesugi nails Gabe with a Knife-edge Chop! And another!

Jim: Wheeee!

Gallivan: Gabe steps in with a Knee to the midsection on Uesugi! He grabs him by the arm... IPPONZEI BY GABRIEL BLADE!

Jim: He's going for the martial arts type moves first, which is good strategy.

Gallivan: As we saw from the first match, 10 minutes is not a long time. The competitors have to be focused on the job at hand. Gabe goes for an Elbowdrop on Uesugi, but he rolls out of the way! Uesugi flips up to his feet, and fires a Spinning Kick at Gabe... but he catches him! Gabe repositions and hoists up Uesugi... CANADIAN BACKBREAKER BY GABE!

Jim: That was impressive. A little Dino Bravo for the fans in attendance. But we all saw the look of pain that shot across Gabe's face when his butt hit that mat.

Gallivan: Frankly, it's a testament to his resiliancy that Blade is even here after that brutal match earlier tonight.

Jim: One match a night may be ok for the Firk, but in the UWS you've got to do better than that.

Gallivan: Gabe is up, and he was going to drop another Elbow, but Uesugi rolled underneath the ropes. He stands up on the ring apron, and Gabe is on him like a shot! He hits Uesugi with a Forearm shot to the head, but Uesugi holds onto the top rope to stay on the apron! He fires a Front Kick through the ropes, nailing Gabe in the breadbasket! Now, Uesugi holds onto the ropes for leverage... AND HITS GABE WITH AN ENZUIGIRI KICK!!!

Jim: Is that legal? From the apron like that?

Gallivan: Rogers has given it his blessing, so I guess it is.

Gallivan: Gabe fell forward onto the canvas. Uesugi grabs the top rope again... Slingshot Senton Bomb into the ring! Right on his back!

Jim: Japeno Heat!

Gallivan: (under his breath) Japeno Heat? (normally) Now, with Dr. Karate shouting instructions to Uesugi from ringside, the Japanese Torpedo doesn't waste any more time. He drops a Flash Elbow, muta-style onto Gabriel Blade! And another! And another!

Jim: Does that mean 3 points?

Gallivan: No, just one. Uesugi glances at the movelist and drives a knee into the already injured back of Gabriel Blade. He's hooking him up for what looks like a Surfboard... but Gage clutches the bottom rope to block it! Uesugi tries again to lift him, but with Gabe holding that rope, he just can't do it. So, Uesugi releases the attempt, and fires off a brutal Kick to the ribs of Blade! He pulls Gabe away from the ropes by his hair, and rams his head between his legs. Uesugi tries to underhook the arms, but Gabe pulls his legs out from under him!

Jim: He was going for the Pedigree!

Gallivan: Gabe debates locking on a Boston Crab, but instead just stomps Uesugi in the guts! He reaches down and picks up Uesugi, who fires back with a Jab to the stomach! Gabe Irish Whips him off the ropes. Uesugi comes back, and ducks under a Clothesline. He bounces off the far ropes and comes back... AND GABE CATCHES HIM IN AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH!

Gallivan: Gabe cranks back on the move, taking a few seconds to catch his breath and look down at the movelist again. He releases Uesugi and boots him in the midsection! Gabe goes for the Pedigree, but Uesugi breaks free and cinches a waistlock! He tries to lift Gabe for the Waistlock Suplex, but the Sentinel flips over his head, landing behind him! He turns back-to-back, and hoists Uesugi into the air... INVERTED SHOULDER RACK BY THE SENTINEL!!!

Jim: That's not how that move is usually applied. Gabe showed an awful lot of power on that one.

Gallivan: He drops Uesugi to the mat, and Gabe immediately holds his back. He looks to be in more pain in there after that awkward exertion. Gabe glances down at the clock we've also got at ringside, and he must see that he's running out of time. He picks up Uesugi, and drives a Knee into the midsection. Gabe leisurely backs off the ropes, and comes back for the Swinging Neckbreaker... but Uesugi counters it into a Backslide! Gabe breaks out and struggles to his feet. Uesugi is up as well. He fires off a Side Kick, but Gabe blocks it! Gabe grabs Uesugi by the tights, and rams his shoulder into his midsection! Gabe cinches the waistlock... WAISTLOCK SUPLEX BY GABRIEL BLADE!!!

Gallivan: Dr. Karate is getting furious at ringside. He's shouting instructions at Uesugi, but I don't know if the Japanese wrestler is even listening at this point. Blade is up and he drags Uesugi to his feet. There's a sense of urgency in that ring right now. Gabe Irish Whips Uesugi into the corner... but he reverses it! Gabe slams into the corner as Uesugi bounces off the ropes. He catches Gabe coming out... SWINGING NECKBREAKER BY UESUGI!

Gallivan: Uesugi charges for the ropes... Asai Moonsault... No! Gabe got his knees up! Both men are struggling to their feet. Gabe grabs Uesugi and whips him off the ropes... another reversal by Uesugi! He drops down for a Backdrop, but telegraphed it! Gabe cinches and underhooks his arms... PEDIGREE BY GABRIEL BLADE!!!

Jim: Nice!

Gallivan: The seconds are ticking away here. Gabe shrugs off the obvious pain he must be in and crawls over Uesugi. He hooks in his legs and smacks Uesugi in the ribs to get him to bring his arms back... SURFBOARD BY GABRIEL BLADE! He struggles to hold Uesugi up, but finally lifts him!

Gallivan: That's it! Gabe releases Uesugi and just lays back on the canvas. He must be absolutely spent.

Jim: Knowing Gabe, he will probably be disappointed in this result, but it's amazing that he got any points.

Gallivan: What does that say about Gabriel Blade? To wrestle an incredible contest 60 minute contest against Shane Brandon earlier tonight, suffer a back injury, and still walk away with 7 points against an incredible competitor like Uesugi, is an incredible testament to his intestinal fortitude.

Jim: Thank you, Gorilla. He may be in first place right now, but this is so easy to call, I can't believe even you don't see it. Gabe will do exactly what he did at the last Iron Man. He'll punch himself out in these early rounds, and there will be nothing left for the Iron Man Tournament.

Gallivan: I beg to differ. A man who banks points in the early round can afford to stumble in the later rounds and still stay in medal contention.

Jim: I still still say you're a knob.

Gallivan: Well, our next match is starting up right now. Dr. Karate, who still looks disappointed in Uesugi's performance, is already at ringside for his match.

Jim: Well, he said that Uesugi was going in to hurt Gabe. That's not what I saw in that ring. Uesugi was going for points.

Gallivan: And well he should have.

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Coming to the ring at this time, from the Jungles of Africa and weighing in at 155 lbs... THE NATIVE!!!

[Strange tribal drums begin to play and a wild figure breaks through the entrance curtain. The Native, wearing just a loincloth and necklace of teeth, charges towards the ring holding his chicken leg aloft in one hand.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Already in the ring at this time, from the Kung-Fu Kollege of Kucamonga, and weighing in at 231 lbs... DR. KARATE!!!

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Reverse Rollup, Neck Snap, Superplex, Heart Punch, Inverted Brainbuster, Back Kick, Boston Crab, Waistlock Suplex, Jab to Throat, and Urinage.

Gallivan: Dr. Karate is a decent wrestler in his own right, but he's going to have his hands full trying to contend with the Native. Native has returned to active duty following an injury at the hands of Judas Dagon. Rogers calls for the bell and here we go! Karate circles around the Native, looking for an opening. They lock up, and Karate applies a Side Headlock. He grinds on the Native while the Native struggles to break free.

[The Native sinks his teeth into the side of Dr. Karate, prompting a scream from Karate.]

Jim: He bit him!

Gallivan: Well, it did break the hold. Karate appeals to Rogers, who is actually laughing at him! Karate turns around... and the Native charges him! He just hurled his body at Karate, knocking him to the mat! Now, the Native starts firing punches down on the medical superstar. Karate reaches up, and Jabs the Native in the throat to knock him off!

Jim: Smart move. The Native is coming off a throat injury, so that's bound to hurt.

Gallivan: Karate is back up and waits for the Native to get back to his feet... BACK KICK BY DR KARATE!

Gallivan: The Native buckled, but didn't go down after that move. Karate steps in and drapes the Native's arm over his own shoulder. Is he going for the Urinage? No, he pulls back... HEART PUNCH BY DR. KARATE!

Jim: He's racking up points now!

Gallivan: Karate holds onto the Native, keeping him up. He steps in... AND NAILS HIM WITH A URINAGE!

Jim: 10 points! He's gonna sweep this round!

Gallivan: The Native is down, and Dr. Karate leaps up. He jumps onto the second rope and now he's gloating to the crowd!

Jim: He just pulled off 4 points in quick succession. He's got this one in the bag.

Gallivan: These fans aren't giving him the reception he wants. Hang on! The Native is getting back to his feet in the ring. Karate is continuing to jar with the fans in the front row. The Native charges him... AND KNOCKS HIM OVER THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: Ouch! That's a nasty fall to make.

Gallivan: Dr. Karate is sprawled on the floor at ringside. Hang on! The Native is climbing up to the top rope!

Jim: He's pissed off the Native. That's not a smart thing to do.

Gallivan: Undefeated superstar, the Native is climbing onto the top rope. He stands straight up... SNUKA SPLASH ON DR. KARATE ON THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: What a nutjob!

[The crowd starts chanting "HOLY SHIT" after that attack. DI Rogers just moves into the corner and watches the competitors from the ring.]

Jim: Now, can they do moves out there? Will they count?

Gallivan: If either of them can get up, then I think so. Both men are down, and there's no countouts in this match, so Rogers is just waiting for them. But, that clock is ticking. The Native is the first one up. He grins at the fans, then drops onto Dr. Karate... and starts pounding him in the head! He's just flailing away at Dr. Karate like the madman that he is!

Jim: Does he understand the concept of this match at all?

Gallivan: Well, he did compete in the first Iron Man, but his performance in the Quick Snap was less than exceptional.

Jim: Isn't someone going to break this up?

Gallivan: Nope. The Native is just pounding on Dr. Karate, and the fans are counting along with each punch! Rogers is content to let this go on, and Uesugi went backstage after his match. So, it looks like Karate is going to have to take some punishment.

Jim: Well, I ain't complaining.

[The crowd continues to cheer, and the Native continues to beat on Dr. Karate, until the bell finally rings. As it does, ring security pulls the Native off Karate, whose face is a mess.]

Gallivan: That's it! Dr. Karate had the match well in hand, but made one big mistake that cost him.

Jim: First he loses his Hardcore Title, and now he gets embarrased by the Native. Bad night for Dr. Karate.

[The show cuts away from the ring to the announce table. There, Jim Browski is playing with 2 action figures, one of himself, and the other of Johnny Gallivan.]

Gallivan: I see you've gotten your hands on some of the UWS action figures that were released recently.

Jim: Yep.

Gallivan: Why is my figure wearing a Hawaiian shirt? I've never worn a Hawaiian shirt in my life?

Jim: They probably mixed us up. My guy is wearing a suit. That ain't right.

[Browski's figure begins stomping the heck out of the Gallivan figure.]

Gallivan: What are you doing?

[Johnny grabs his namesake figure away from Jim and starts looking at it. He tries to pose him, but the figure remains completely stiff.]

Gallivan: His arms don't even move!

Jim: Well, you're not exactly the most exciting guy on the roster.

Gallivan: Jim, we are working here. You can just play with toys.

Jim: The hell I can't. I got a whole mess of 'em.

[Jim reaches down to a bag on the floor, and pours out a selection of figures. He grabs one, and starts pounding on another of them.]

Jim: Take that, Lee Todd. Kurt Tremere is your hero! Say it!

Gallivan: Jim, that's not a Kurt Tremere figure. That's an old Ram-Man toy from the Masters of the Universe line.

Jim: Yeah, well I think there was a few complaints about the Tremere figure. It came with some rather... "unfortunate" accessories.

Gallivan: Like what?

Jim: A black swastika armband and a lamp.

Gallivan: Jesus!

Jim: Yeah, they pulled them off the shelves pretty damn quick.

[Gallivan picks up the Ram-Man figure and looks at him.]

Gallivan: Even his arms move! Why don't mine?

Jim: Well, they don't move very well, do they?

Gallivan: No... not exactly. But my figure is like a mummy or something. Alright, enough of this. Why don't we just watch the next match?

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Making his way to the ring, standing at 6 feet tall and weighing in at 235 lbs, from Hollywood, California, he is the ultimate model of perfection in a mortal man, he is, BRIAN THORN!!!

[In Thorn's voice we hear the word "Ultimate" over the sound system as a spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp to a waiting Thorn. "Model" is spoken the same way as another spotlight hits him from a different angle, and Thorn raises his arms in acceptance of the appreciation the fans must have for him. "Of" is heard as a third spotlight shines down on the man with the million-dollar smile. "Perfection" sounds in Thorn's voice as a fourth and final spotlight engulfs Thorn. Suddenly "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool plays over the sound system and all four spotlights follow Thorn down the entrance ramp. On the Syni-tron we see images of Thorn in his glory, hitting the Double Take, flashing his "million dollar" smile, women hanging off of both arms, and then a closeup of the arrogant face. Thorn takes his time walking down the entrance ramp, letting his music play through. Once in the ring he flashes his "million dollar" smile once again, the music fades, and the lights come back on.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Tampa Bay, Florida and weighing in at 376 lbs... PACO!!!

[Paco's Music blares over the PA as the stadium lights go out. The lights flicker as Paco runs down the aisle. The lights come on fully and Paco jumps into the ring ready to fight.]

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Abdominal Stretch, Spinning Boot Scrape, Missile Dropkick, Dragon Suplex, Chokeslam, STF, Fireman Cutter, Ipponzei, Back Suplex, and Double Ax-handle.

Gallivan: Far be it from me to complain, but doesn't it seem that this move list is more suited to Brian Thorn than Paco?

Jim: What? And I suppose you are going to say that Thorn's good buddy Johnny Lassiter rigged the moves for him, right?

Gallivan: Well...

Jim: Look at the list! Chokeslam! How's that for a Paco move?

Gallivan: Ok, I was just saying--

Jim: You were just trying to rile me up, that's what you were doing. Just call the match before you get Ram-Man's feet in the side of your head.

Gallivan: Thorn, who was last seen giving Jamison's UWS Hardcore Title away, is circling Paco in that ring. They lockup, and Thorn applies a Wristlock on Paco. Paco reaches out and grabs Thorn by the throat, lifting him up in the air!

Jim: See! Chokeslam!

Gallivan: Thorn releases Paco's arm... and brings a foot up into the chin of Paco! He hits the big man with another one, and that broke the Chokeslam attempt.

Jim: Phew.

Gallivan: Thorn crouches on the mat as Paco comes at him... Dragon Legsweep by Thorn! He charges at the ropes... Springboard Moonsault!! Without wasting a second, Thorn climbs through the ropes and heads up to the top! Paco is back up... AND THORN HITS HIM WITH A DOUBLE AX-HANDLE!

Gallivan: The big man staggered, but didn't go down. Like a cat, Thorn heads to the opposite corner, and now he's climbing up to the top rope again! Paco turns around... AND GETS HIT WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK BY THORN!!!

Jim: He's moving in that ring faster than an Alabama Coondog, sheee-oot.

Gallivan: That dropkick was textbook and dropped Paco like a stone. Now, he grabs Paco by the leg and turns him over! He's going for the STF!

Jim: Paco's vacation is definitely over now. Welcome back, big man.

Gallivan: Thorn drops down... STF BY BRIAN THORN!

Gallivan: Thorn isn't even looking at the movelist at ringside. It's as if he knows what moves he's got to do already.

Jim: Well, maybe he's got a photographic memory. Did you ever think of that?

Gallivan: Thorn is cranking back on the STF and it looks like he's going to wear down the big man a little bit here.

Jim: Plenty of time left, Thorn-boy. Pace yourself.

Gallivan: DI Rogers is letting this go because there are no submissions in the Quick Snap. He could hold that move for as long as he wanted. It's... Waitaminute! It's Shane Brandon!

[The crowd boos wildly as Brandon casually walks through the entrance curtain. He glances at the fans on his way towards the ring, then looks down at a non-existant watch on his wrist, shaking his head in disappointment. Brandon pause as he reaches ringside for a few seconds, then acts.]

Gallivan: Like a shot, Brandon is onto the apron, and he's climbing up to the top rope! What the hell is he doing here?

Jim: Shane's got a lot of obligations. Maybe he's got time for his Quick Snap match now, so he's tired of waiting.

Gallivan: Brandon leaps off the top rope... TOP ROPE GUILLOTINE LEGDROP ON BRIAN THORN!!!

Jim: Woohoo! Random chaos, I love it!

Gallivan: Brandon just crashed down onto Thorn and I think he's out! He picks up the Ultimate Model of Perfection, and cinches him up... JUMPING PILEDRIVER BY SHANE BRANDON!!!

Jim: But look at the look on Brandon's face! He looks like he's reading the Wall Street Journal!

Gallivan: DI Rogers is freaking out as Brandon non-chalantly picks up Thorn... and hurls him over the top rope to the floor!!!

Jim: Look out behind you, champ!

Gallivan: Paco is back up, but Brandon spins around... AND SUPERKICKS HIM IN THE FACE! He knocked Paco out, through the ropes to the floor! Rogers doesn't know what to do, but Brandon is calmly calling for a microphone.

[Almost the entire arena is booing Brandon as he is handed a mic from a ring attendant. Rogers tries to forcibly remove him from the ring, but Shane shoves him back and threatens to hit him.]

Brandon Stand your ground Rogers. This match is over!

Gallivan: On whose authority can he declare this match over?

Jim: Well, since Brian Thorn and Paco are both being helped out of the ring area and are in no condition to fight, I think he's right, regardless of his authority.

Brandon Come on, Tumbler. Get your ass out here... NOW!

[Brandon tosses the mic and begins to walk around the ring.]

Gallivan: Fans, I don't know what to say. Brian Thorn had the Quick Snap match well under control, but now thanks to Shane Brandon, it looks like that match is over.

Jim: It was boring anyway. I'd much rather watch Tumbler and Brandon. I hope they are getting the extra match time as well.

[The lights in the arena dim as the initials GHITW light up the ring in bright neon green, the text begins to swirl faster and faster till it morphs in to a bullzeye. Come Out and play cuts out as a thunderous boom echo's throughout the arena and Tumbler leaps from the rafters on a bungy cord landing on the entrance ramp. Spinning around possing for the crowd attendents rush him to unhook his equipment before the match starts.]

Gallivan: No introductions... it looks like this match will go ahead right now.

Gallivan: Tumbler dives under the bottom rope into the ring, and Brandon is on him like a bullet! He stomps on Tumbler as he comes in, but Tumbler quickly gets back to his feet. He hits Brandon with a Knife-edge Chop. And another!

Jim: Wheeeeeee!

Gallivan: Fans, these two don't even have a movelist! But, it doesn't appear to be stopping them. Tumbler picks up Brandon and Bodyslams him to the mat. Hang on, one of the ring attendants is flipping over the movelist chart.

Jim: What have we got here? Super Gutbuster, Cobra Clutch, Northern Lights Suplex, Backdrop, Fujiwara Armbar, Implant DDT, Ear-ringer, Belly-to-Belly Suplex, Backslide, and Fireman Cutter.

Gallivan: Brandon gets back to his feet... but Tumbler hits him with a Standing Dropkick to the chest! Tumbler hasn't wrestled a 60 minute match tonight, but he did wrestle in the tag match as well as several scuffles with Michael Burke.

Jim: He had the Hardcore Title and lost it.

Gallivan: Tumbler grabs Brandon as he gets back to his feet, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... BACKDROP BY TUMBLER!

Gallivan: These fans are actually cheering for Tumbler in there, which is a bit of a shock. Brandon is up and Tumbler grabs him for a Front Facelock. His free hand grabs Brandon by the tights and he hoists him up... but Brandon blocks the Implant DDT attempt! Shane waistlocks Tumbler... and hits him with an Inverted Atomic Drop! He bounces backwards off the ropes... AND DROPS TUMBLER WITH A JUMPING LARIAT! Now, Brandon is back up and starts stomping the hell out of Tumbler! Brandon hasn't even looked at that movelist. He's just focused on taking a piece out of young Todd's hide.

Jim: And where's Hoss?

Gallivan: Maybe the stress was just too much for him during the Sentinel match and he's decided to sit this one out. Now, Brandon focuses on the legs of Tumbler with those stomps, trying to ground the high-flyer. He picks up Tumbler, and cinches him for a Front Facelock. Brandon tries to Suplex Tumbler, but he blocks it with his foot. Tumbler kicks his leg up... and Suplexes Brandon to the mat, Bret Hart-style. He waits for Brandon to get back to his feet... and hits him with an Ear-ringer!

Gallivan: Tumbler jumps up... and hits Brandon with another Standing Dropkick! He scrambles to his feet and waits on Brandon once again. Tumbler swings at Brandon, but he ducks under it... and hoists Tumbler for a Back Suplex! Without standing, Brandon grabs Tumbler by the foot... and locks on a Leg Grapevine! He's cranking on Tumbler's knee with exceptional force.

Jim: Another move that's not on the list.

Gallivan: Again, there's no submission in these matches so Brandon can hold this move as long as he wants. Tumbler leans back.. and grabs onto the bottom rope! DI Rogers calls for the break and Shane Brandon grudgingly complies. He gets back to his feet and waits on Tumbler. The high-flyer is back up and locks up with Brandon. They jostle for position, and Brandon locks on a Side Headlock! Tumbler shoves him off the ropes to break the hold. He drops flat to the mat as Brandon comes back off the ropes. Brandon bounces off the ropes again as Tumbler comes back up. Brandon swings at Tumbler for a Clothesline, but he ducks... and hooks onto Brandon's arm for a Crucifix! Hold on! Brandon holds him up! The clock is ticking in this match. Brandon refuses to go down. He pulls one of his arms free, and spins Tumbler off his shoulders... FIREMAN CUTTER BY SHANE BRANDON!!!

Jim: Bang!

Gallivan: Brandon nailed that Diamond Cutter out of the modified Fireman's Carry, and he actually gets a point! I think it was probably coincidence that it was on the movelist.

Jim: Hey, who was that bitch with the big tits that used to do that move.

Gallivan: You mean the one who married Johnny B. Badd?

Jim: Yeah, that's the one. How old is she now, 70?

Gallivan: Something like that. Shane Brandon grabs Tumbler by the feet... AND SLAPS ON A FIGURE-FOUR! He's content to run down the clock using submission holds here in an attempt to injure Tumbler.

Jim: So?

Gallivan: DI Rogers just looks on as Brandon punished Tumbler with that Figure-four. Tumbler is desperately trying to roll Shane over, but Shane is well positioned to block it.

Jim: Time is running out. How many points has Tumbler got? Two? HA!

Gallivan: Tumbler's rocking back and forth on his elbows, trying to turn Brandon over. Despite his actions earlier, the fans are actually cheering for Tumbler.

Jim: He's the lesser of two evils.

Gallivan: Tumbler glances over his shoulder at the ringside clock, and puts on another push. He bounces over to the left... AND ROLLS BRANDON OVER! Tumbler has reversed the Figure-four and Brandon immediately tries to break out of it. Rogers steps in and separates them after a request from Tumbler. Tumbler is trying to get back to his feet, but he's trying to keep the weight off that weak leg. Shane Brandon stands up and runs at Tumbler. Tumbler ducks under a Clothesline attempt, hooking Brandon's arm... Backslide by Tumbler!!!

Gallivan: Tumbler barely waits for Rogers to confirm the move before he breaks the hold. He grabs Brandon as he returns to his feet, and Irish Whips him off the ropes. Tumbler ducks down, but Brandon leapfrogs over him and heads off the far ropes. He comes back... AND WALKS INTO A BELLY-TO-BELLY BY TUMBLER!

Gallivan: There's literally seconds left as Tumbler gets back up. He tries to lift Brandon, who grabs him by the hair... and Snap Mares him to the mat! Tumbler jumps back up and catches a Knife-edge Chop by Brandon! And a right cross to the face! Tumbler fires off a Kick to the ribs of Brandon, and hits him with a Slap across the ear that spins him around! He grabs Shane from behind, and tries to hook on the Cobra Clutch... but Shane rams his elbow back into Tumbler's chest! He spins around, but Tumbler jumps up... and Monkeyflips him to the canvas! Tumbler scrambles back to his feet and pulls Brandon up by the hair... AND LOCKS ON A COBRA CLUTCH!

[The bell sounds just as Tumbler locks on the hold. DI Rogers steps in to break the hold, which Tumbler does after a few seconds of punishing Brandon.]

Gallivan: Shane bails out of the ring, and he's already leaving the ring area! We don't even have an official decision yet.

Jim: Well, they ran out of time. The only question is whether or not Tumbler got credit for the Cobra Clutch.

Gallivan: Aspen Sandstrum is conferring with DI Rogers while Tumbler waits patiently in the ring, doing stretches to get the life back in his knee. Here's the official decision...

Gallivan: Tumbler looks happy that he got credit for the cobra, but I'm sure he could have done better if Brandon hadn't run down the clock with submission holds. I'm shocked that Shane Brandon didn't come out here to score points. I guess he's not too concerned with winning the Iron Man.

Jim: Don't be so sure. In the first Iron Man, Brandon walked away with the Gold Medal after getting 42 points. Gabe ended up with 38. There's still 40 potential points left in this tournament for Brandon, so you can't count him out yet.

Gallivan: No, I guess not. The Iron Man is certainly different this year. Gone is the Wheel of Chaos. This rather strange collection of competitions has been replaced by the rather ominous structure known as The Jester's Pyramid. UWS management, even in this financially tight climate, have agreed to build this multi-level cage which could very well end wrestlers careers. Taking a few ideas from old WCW events and mixing it with Reaper's The Tower, we've got a match that is bound to get bloody and brutal. It's truly the hardcore event of the Iron Man.

Jim: I haven't seen it yet, but I'm expecting this to be my favorite event.

Gallivan: Well, apart from this event, I'm looking forward to the Teamwork event. It's always interesting to see how wrestlers work together, even if it is for a very short time. And the UWS has had a large number of tag teams in its short history, so there's always a chance of two wrestlers being paired up who have already teamed together... a decided advantage.

Jim: That'll be the event that really determines the top 10 in this tourney.

Gallivan: The ring has been cleared again, so let's get to the action.

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Coming to the ring at this time, from Boston, MA, and weighing in at 257 lbs... "DEMOLITION MAN" MICHAEL BURKE!!!

[The fans give a decent reception for Michael Burke, who steps through the entrance curtain to silence. He walks towards the ring in his wrestling gear with a very determined look on his face and the UWS Hardcore Title strapped around his waist.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Malice. From New York City, and weighing in at 268 lbs... "ILLEGALLY EXTREME" ERIC MANSON!!!

[Lights go out as "Welcome Burden" by disturbed starts to play. Pyro goes off. He slowly stalks to the ring. Climbs up the steps and enters the ring.]

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Brainbuster, Roaring Elbow, Super DVD, Knife-edge Chop, Figure-four Sleeper, Baseball Slide, Sitout Powerbomb, Giant Swing, Jab to Throat, and Gorilla Press Slam.

Gallivan: Michael Burke bails out of the ring at the bell. He picks up the OWF Division Title from the timekeeper's table and holds it up in one hand. With the other, he hoists up the Hardcore Title.

Jim: He's having a little fun, but Manson doesn't seem too enthused.

Gallivan: Eric Manson charges Burke, hitting him with a Clothesline from behind! He grabs Burke by the hair, and tries to shove him back into the ring... but Burke hits him with an Elbow in the guts He straightens up, pops Manson with a punch that staggers him... AND HITS MANSON WITH A ROARING ELBOW!!!

Jim: I guess moves do count outside the ring.

Gallivan: Burke lifts up Manson and tries to Gorilla Press him... but can't get him up! Manson rakes the eyes of Burke, forcing him to drop him. Manson drops an Ax-handle across the back of Michael Burke, then rams him headfirst into the steel barricade! Now, Manson drapes Burke's head over the barricade, and starts choking him across the top of it! DI Rogers is letting all of this go. No DQ and no countouts either. Manson is bringing all of his weight down across the back of Burke, choking the life out of him... but Burke hits Manson with a Mule Kick in the groin!

Jim: Desperation, but effective.

Gallivan: Burke turns around and hits Manson with a left Jab to the head! He fires off a right Jab, and another quick left! Burke glances over at the move list... THEN HITS MANSON WITH A VICIOUS CHOP!

Jim: Wheeeeee!

Gallivan: Now it is Burke who grabs Manson and shoves him into the ring. He climbs in, but Manson stumbles back to his feet. Manson boots Burke in the stomach, and cinches him up for a Powerbomb... but Burke reverses it into a Backdrop! He heads off the ropes and bounds back after Manson... leaping onto him with a Splash! The Demolition man is back up. He grabs the OWF champion by the feet, and starts to spin him around... GIANT SWING BY MICHAEL BURKE!!!

Jim: That's old-school if I've ever seen it.

Gallivan: Burke continues to spin Manson around, finally letting him drop! Burke staggers back against the ropes and holds onto them for balance. He waits on Manson, who looks terribly dizzy. Burke staggers over and grabs him as he gets back to his feet. He cinches Manson for a Powerbomb... but Manson repositions his weight to block it! He breaks free and nails Burke with a beefy Forearm shot to the chest! And another! And another! Manson rocks Burke, sending him back against the ropes, but Michael Burke comes back with a Right Hook to the head! He boots Manson in the guts... SITOUT POWERBOMB BY BURKE!!!

Jim: Manson's putting up a good fight, but Burke's beating him to the punch on these moves.

Gallivan: With the crowd cheering on his every move, Michael Burke picks up Manson... AND LIFTS HIM UP FOR A GORILLA PRESS!!!

[Burke holds Manson in the air, taking a few seconds even to walk him a few steps around the ring before slamming him to the mat.]

Gallivan: Burke looks down at the movelist while Manson rolls away from him in pain. He slowly crawls to his feet, but the Demolition Man is right there as he makes it to his knees. Burke slams a Forearm down across Manson's back, then picks him up. He Irish Whips Manson towards the corner... but he reversed it! Burke slams into the turnbuckle, hard, and Manson charges in after him... CLOTHESLINE INTO THE CORNER BY MANSON! Despite giving up points to Michael Burke, Eric Manson isn't backing down a bit. He hoists Burke up, sitting him on the top turnbuckle. Manson steps onto the second rope, and starts hammering fists into the head of Burke!

Jim: The match is only half over. Manson's not out of this game yet.

Gallivan: Burke fires back a few jabs of his own into the guts of Manson, but Manson continues to pound on the Demolition Man! He lifts Burke up to his feet... and now Manson is climbing onto the top as well! J; There's only one top rope move on that list, and it's not a pretty one.

Gallivan: The two men are jostling on the top rope. Half of these points are still up for grabs, but so far Michael Burke has been dominating this match. He hits Manson with an Elbow to the side of the head and Manson retaliates with one of his own!

Jim: Something's gotta give!

Gallivan: Manson Headbutts Burke but Burke grabs him by the throat to block another one! He pulls back with his free hand... and unloads a Haymaker into the head of Eric Manson!

Jim: He damn near knocked both of them off the top rope.

Gallivan: DI Rogers is letting this go ahead. He's just waiting for the shoe to drop. Burke hits Manson with another vicious punch to the face, and he has to hold onto him to keep him from dropping to the floor below! Michael Burke bends down... AND HOISTS MANSON ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!

Jim: Wow! What a display of power and balance!

Gallivan: These fans are going wild as the Demolition Man just stands on that top rope with the OWF Champion across his back. He steps off sideways... SUPER DEATH VALLEY DRIVER BY MICHAEL BURKE!!!

[The crowd starts chanting "HOLY SHIT" again.]

Jim: Holy shit indeed!

Gallivan: What a move! Even Michael Burke looks a little shocked that he managed to pull it off. He rolls over to the ropes to help himself up while DI Rogers checks on Manson.

Jim: Michael Burke has been having a rough time establishing himself in the UWS. He's constantly in Gabriel Blade's big shadow. But I think this guy is going to break out of there sooner rather than later.

[The show suddenly cuts to a wide shot of the fans. It pans back and forth for a few seconds, then cuts straight to the announce table. Johnny Gallivan and Jim Browski are both looking very serious.]

Gallivan: Fans, it looks like theres... a problem in the ring. Eric Manson is not responding in there. (pause) Ok...

Jim: He took that move's full impact on his neck Gallivan.

[The show cuts away from the announcers and finally back to the ring. Michael Burke is standing in one of the corners looking very upset. Along with DI Rogers, Doc Andrews and several anonymous members of the UWS medical crew are gathered around Eric Manson. The camera is close enough to see that Manson's eyes are wide open, but he is lying immobile on the canvas. Doc Andrews is talking to him.]

Gallivan: I'm not sure what to say here fans. Hopefully this isn't serious. It looks like Manson is conscious, which is always a good sign. We just don't know... I'm being told... do we have footage of the Death Valley Driver? No... we are going to stick with the ring for now fans. I apologize for this, but the wrestling game is a tough one.

Jim: Manson's a tough kid Gallivan. People may not like the way he carries on sometimes, but there's no doubting his abilities as a UWS competitor.

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade is headed to ringside now fans. He makes a beeline for his tag team partner, Michael Burke and the two are quietly talking. Burke looks very upset in there. Malice has climbed into the ring, but the medical crew is trying to keep him out of the way.

[Another member of the UWS medical crew runs towards the ring from the back carrying a stretcher and neckbrace.]

Gallivan: Fans, I'm being told that we are going to a break. We will be right back.

[The show returns to pretty much the same scene. Gabe and Burke are now standing outside the ring, looking in. Eric Manson is still lying in the same position. The medical team are now shifting him onto the stretcher. The padded neckbrace is already on Manson.]

Gallivan: Again fans, I apologize for the break in the action, but in such a tough sport, sometimes these things happen. We are live and...

[The fans, who had been almost completely silent since the accident, start to make a little noise as someone jumps out of the crowd, crouching down outside the ring.]

Gallivan: Fans, Tumbler has just come to ringside. I'm not sure... HE JUST GRABBED THE UWS HARDCORE TITLE! Burke is concentrating on the this very emotional scene and Tumbler just stole the Hardcore Title from the timekeeper's table... AND NOW HE'S JUMPING BACK INTO THE CROWD!

Jim: Who does he think he is, the Repo-Man?

Gallivan: Honestly fans, I am completely flabberghasted. Eric Manson, the OWF Division Champion, is being carried out of the ring on a stretcher right now. And Tumbler, that piece of trash, is taking advantage of this situation to grab back the Hardcore Title. Even now, Michael Burke is unaware of what's happened. This is enough to make a person sick!

Jim: For once, I agree with you. But like I said before. Manson's a tough kid. Hopefully, he'll be ok when all is said and done.

Gallivan: Fans, here is the official decision for this Quick Snap match. I don't want to take attention away from what we've seen here tonight, but the show must go on.

[The show cuts to the announce table as everyone clears the ring area. The announcers still look pretty shaken up.]

Jim: Well, despite the ending, Michael Burke has done very well for himself in this, the first round of the Iron Man.

Gallivan: Indeed he has. Right now, he stands right behind his tag team partner, Gabriel Blade, and right ahead of the UK Crew's Tumbler. Fans, we've only got a limited amount of TV time tonight, so we are going to have to head back to the ring.

Jim: The show must go on.

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Coming to the ring at this time, from Las Vegas, Nevada, and weighing in at 235 lbs... EDMUND PAINE II!!!

[The spotlights on the entrance way seem to brighten for a moment before dimming to near darkness. The playfully brassy sound of "Death or Glory" sounds as a large man wearing a nicely tailored black suit emerges from the back. He pauses at the entrance, soaks in his surroundings, and then proceeds to walk several feet before he stops. He crosses his massive arms on his large, barrel chest and glares disdainfully out into the crowd. Moments later, a much physically smaller man emerges from the back. Two spotlights home in on the man and reveal him to the crowd as the words "The Duke of Paine" appear on the Syni-tron. The "Duke of Paine" makes his way slowly towards the ring dressed in a beautifully tailored black suit, white dress shirt, and silver tie. As the "Duke" walks by on his way to the ring, his larger companion follows. Stopping at ringside, the two men pause as Mr. Paine removes his jacket, tie and cufflinks and hands them over to his companion. As he ascends the steps leading into the ring, Mr. Paine undoes several of the upper buttons on his shirt as well as rolls up each of his sleeves.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Burkettesville, MD, and weighing in at 345 lbs... SIN!!!

[The lights go out and an eerie silence is heard as suddenly "Black All Over" blares throughout the pitch black arena and dark blue smoke fills the entrance ramp. The one named Sin stands at the end of the isle and raises his gloved black hands over his head, saying a prayer to himself, then without a word, he dashes into the ring, rolling under the bottom rope and circling the ring, pointing to all the fans as he brings his thumb across his neck slowly in a cut-throat gesture.]

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Dropkick, Diamond Dust, Bridging German Suplex, Schoolboy Rollup, Frogsplash, Knee Breaker, Sitout Powerbomb, Bulldog, and Turnbuckle Stungun.

Gallivan: We can only guess what Sins Edmund Paine is hiding beneath his well-dressed exterior.

Jim: He's guilty of more than 7, I can tell you that.

Gallivan: Sin charges at Paine, slamming his chest into Paine's, knocking him to the mat! Sin leaps into the air and drops a huge elevated Elbowdrop onto Paine! The big man hooks up Paine by the feet, is he going for a Boston Crab? No, he Slingshots Paine into the corner!

Jim: Like Brandon, it doesn't look like Sin is too worried about this movelist. He's taking this opportunity to punish Edmund Paine.

Gallivan: Sin backs into the middle of the ring, and charges into the corner... AVALANCE BY SIN! No! Paine dropped to the mat at the last second, dodging the move! Sin crashed into the turnbuckle, knocking the wind out of himself. Paine runs back to the middle of the ring and charges into the corner... Leg Lariat by Edmund Paine!

Gallivan: Paine scrambles back to his feet... and fires off a Standing Dropkick into the chest of Sin!

Jim: He's on a roll. We've seen this several times tonight. Once someone gets in the groove, then can rack up lots of points in a very short time.

Gallivan: Well, given the time limit, they've got to do so. Paine grabs Sin by the head for a Side Headlock, pulling him out of the corner. He runs forward for the Bulldog... but Sin puts on the brakes! He stands up, lifting Paine off the mat... and throws him off!

Jim: He "what's" him off?

Gallivan: Throws.

Jim: Good.

Gallivan: Paine is quick to get back to his feet... BUT SIN RUNS HIM DOWN WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE! He picks up Paine, cinches him up... AND POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE MAT!

Jim: Does he get credit for that?

Gallivan: It doesn't appear so.

Jim: You could just say, "no."

Gallivan: Sin holds Paine in the same position... AND POWERBOMBS HIM AGAIN! He reaches down and drags Paine to his feet by the hair. He reaches down and picks up Paine... HOISTING HIM UP FOR A GORILLA PRESS! Sin presses Paine with ease several times... but Paine rakes him in the eyes to break out of the press! He drops to the canvas... and boots Sin in the groin! Paine grabs him by the head... AND BULLDOGS HIM TO THE MAT!!!

Gallivan: Paine takes a few seconds to pose for the crowd while he waits on Sin. Edmund Paine hasn't made much of an impact thus far during his UWS career, but he's doing quite well here tonight. It'll be interesting to see just how Paine's transfer to the OWF will affect his career. The juggernaut that is Sin drags his massive frame back to his feet and Paine is on him like a shot! He hits Sin with a European Uppercut... and another... and another! Sin reaches out, grabbing Paine by the throat... but again, Paine boots him in the groin! He grabs Sin, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... Paine ducks under a Clothesline and Sin bounces off the far ropes. He comes back... and Paine catches him! Paine is displaying strength that belies his size catching Sin by the waist! He staggers back towards the corner... TURNBUCKLE STUNGUN BY EDMUND PAINE!!!

Jim: Wow!

Gallivan: The crowd is into this match now. Sin is motionless in the middle of the ring, as Paine heads up to the top rope! He balances on the top, and leaps off!

[The bell rings with Paine in mid-air.]

Gallivan: FROGSPLASH BY EDMUND PAINE!!!

Jim: I'm not sure if Paine got that move before the bell.

Gallivan: Paine came down with such impact that he bounced off the big man, landing on the canvas beside him. Now, he pulls himself back to his feet, and we are all awaiting the final decision.

Gallivan: Unfortunately, Paine wasn't in time to get a point for the Frogsplash. Decent showing by Paine, considering the fact that he was giving up a lot of weight in that ring. Hold on, fans. I'm being told that there's some more action backstage.

[The show cuts backstage to the hallway outside Ken Holbrook's office. The cameraman is following Craig Lassiter, who appears to be carrying a gold belt.]

Gallivan: What on earth. Craig Lassiter with a title?

Jim: That image just doesn't look right.

[Lassiter opens the door to Holbrook's office without knocking. As the camera moves in with him, it catches Cid, who was spinning around in Ken's chair, off guard. Cid steadies himself by slamming his hands on the desk and looks up at Lassiter.] Cid: What's going on?

[Craig walks up and drops the belt down on the desk. It is the OWF Division Title.] Cid: What's that?

Lassiter: What does it look like? Cid: I'm no idiot. It's the OWF Title.

Lassiter: Well, did you see what happened in that ring tonight? Cid: Um... no.

Lassiter: Your OWF Division Champion was seriously hurt in that ring, Cid. I've been talking to Doc Andrews, and although it's still very preliminary, it's clear that you've got yourself a vacant title. Cid: Oh dear.

Lassiter: Oh dear indeed.

[Craig moves over to the window and cracks it open, letting a breeze into the room. He then stares at Cid as he looks at the belt.]

Lassiter: Well, what are you gonna do about it? Cid: Do about what?

Lassiter: About the vacant title? Cid: Oh, that. Well, I'll have to talk to Ken about it.

Lassiter: Why? You're the OWF president, aren't you? Cid: Well yeah. I mean... (pause) Damn straight I'm the prez.

Lassiter: Well... (points at the camera) Zeke's here and everybody's watching. You've got a vacant title on your hands Cid. What are you gonna do about it? Cid: Um... what would you do?

Lassiter: Considering how he lost it, I'd put the belt back on Kurt Tremere, but that's just me. I'm not the OWF President. Cid: No, you're not. I am.

Lassiter: Well?

[Cid thinks for a minute, then pulls a folder out of a tray on Holbrook's desk for just such things. On the side of the folder is written, "OWF Contracts."] Cid: (leafing through them) Well, I'm gonna sanction a match.

Lassiter: Ok. With who? Cid: (flipping through the contracts) Uesugi... yeah, that's it. Uesugi versus... Stu-E Price.

[Cid looks up at Craig Lassiter, who is smiling. Cid smiles as well. Then, he sees another contract on the desk.] Cid: (picking it up) And Edmund Paine! Paine, Uesugi and Stu in a Triangle Match for the vacant OWF Division Title!

Lassiter: (giving a golf clap) Well, what do you know. Now that's the action of a president with balls. A president who knows what's going on in his division. That's the action of a president with a future.

[Cid beams a smile at the camera, and tilts the OWF title up so that the light catches it. With that, the show cuts back to the ring.]

Gallivan: Well, it looks like we've got an OWF Division Title match on the next Blackened.

Jim: Excuse me, Gallivan, but I must interject.

Gallivan: (sounding annoyed) What?

Jim: For once I agree with Craig Lassiter. I notice that Kurt Tremere is not a part of that match. Wouldn't it make sense that he is in that match for the vacant title?

Gallivan: Well, on paper... yes. But, Tremere is the UWS Unified World Champion, and as such, he's got his hands full. In fact, he's got a match right now against Lee F'n' Todd. We've been waiting for this rematch all night, and it's finally time.

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest will be fought under Quick Snap rules. Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England and weighing in at 232 lbs... LEE F'N' TODD!!!

[The lights in the arena dim as Sweet Child of Mine rips through the arena, dry ice fills the aisle as Lee F'n' Todd steps through the curtain a bottle of brown ale held high above his head in his left hand. A two fingered salute on his right. Strolling down the aisle he's followed by a trench coat clad Lola. Making a slow march to the ring he hops up on the apron knocks back his ale before handing the bottle to Lola. Climbing through the middle rope he pauses like an agitated Lion waiting for his opponent.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Toledo, Ohio, and weighing in at 248 lbs... KURT TREMERE!!!

[The lights flicker out, and as the sound of wind fills the arena, a low blue light slowly lights the crowd. After a moment, a voice can be heard echoing through the PA.]

[The blue lights slowly grow a little brighter moment by moment.]

[At the end of the last line, the lights vanish and the arena is engulfed in darkness and silence..]

[As the scream is heard through the PA, 4 blue spotlights shine on the entrance, and "Superstar" by Saliva begins to blast out of the speakers, almost simaltaneosuly with a large pyro explosion on the ceiling and ramp. As the smoke clears, Kurt Tremere is standing in the middle of the entrance, looking over the crowd, the UWS Unified World Heavyweight Title gleaming around his waist. The spotlights begin to strobe with the beat of the song, and they follow Kurt down the aisle as he begins to walk. Kurt ignores the crowd, not once even looking at them as he walks. The spotlights follow Kurt up the stairs and onto the apron where he wipes his feet, but then go out as he jumps over the ropes and into the ring. It's only dark in the arena for a moment, because on cue with the next loud beat of the song, more explosions go off, and as the lights come back on, Kurt Tremere is standing in the middle of the ring with his arms raised in the air, and what appears to be glass raining down on him. When the music and fireworks finally cease, Kurt walks over to the corner, lies on top of it ala Shawn Micheals, and adjusts his one elbow pad on his right arm.]

Gallivan: The last time these two met, the Unified Title was on the line. Now, 10 points are on the line in the quest to become the 2nd ever Iron Man.

Aspen: And here is the list of moves for this contest: Short-arm Clothesline, Ear-ringer, Flying Shoulderblock, Cobra Clutch, Belly-to-Belly Suplex, Hurracanrana, Abdominal Stretch, STF, Tilt-a-whirl Piledriver, and Camel Clutch.

Gallivan: We've seen several moves come up more than once tonight, but I assure you the database that was used for this match contains about 300 moves.

Jim: What are you, bragging?

Gallivan: No, I'm just explaining that the duplicate moves are will within statistical normalcy.

Jim: You didn't get laid much in high school, did you Gallivan?

Gallivan: DI Rogers has called for the bell, and we are ready for our 8th and final Quick Snap match. Tremere runs at Todd, and Lee goes for an Ear-ringer, but Tremere blocks it! He hits Lee with a left Jab to distract him, and nails him with that padded right Elbow in the side of the head! Tremere goes for an Ear-ringer, but Todd gets his arms up to block it! He boots Tremere in the guts and locks on a Front Facelock. Lee glances down at the movelist at ringside, and cinches Tremere up for a Suplex... but Kurt drops back behind Lee! Tremere goes for the Abdominal Stretch on Lee, but can't quite lock it on! Lee Hiptosses Kurt to the mat in front of him... then drops a Knee across the forehead of Kurt Tremere!

Jim: These guys are moving fast and furious, but at this rate, they won't get any points!

Gallivan: Tremere is quick to get up... BUT LEE HITS HIM WITH AN EAR-RINGER!

Gallivan: Todd grabs Tremere by the arm, going for a Short-arm Clothesline... BUT KURT DUCKS UNDERNEATH IT! He cinches Todd from behind... GERMAN SUPLEX BY KURT TREMERE!

Jim: He should get a point for that. It was textbook.

Gallivan: It wasn't on the list.

Jim: So?

Gallivan: Tremere waits on Todd with his arms outstretched, looking like Shane Douglas back in the day. Todd turns around... AND WALKS INTO A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX BY TREMERE!!!

Jim: Ah, that brings me back to the night Barry Windham knocked the crap out of Douglas and Steamboat with a steel chair in the lockeroom.

Gallivan: Jim, can you possibly keep your references relating somewhat to the UWS?

Jim: Nope.

Gallivan: Tremere is back up, and is poised like a cat, waiting for Lee Todd to get up.

Jim: This is as close as Lee's going to get to the world champion, so he better enjoy it while it lasts.

Gallivan: Todd is up... AND DUCKS UNDER THE ROARING ELBOW BY TREMERE! He grabs Tremere by the back of the head... COBRA CLUTCH BY LEE TODD!

Gallivan: Lee picks up Tremere... Cobra Clutch Slam! Lee picks up Tremere and applies a Wristlock. He yanks him in for a Short-arm Clothesline... but again Tremere ducks underneath it! He cinches a Full Nelson on Todd from behind, hooks his leg... AND DROPS LEE TODD FACE-FIRST INTO THE CANVAS! Kurt Tremere glances at the movelist, and now he's headed up to the top rope!

Jim: Lee's been stunned by that move, and he's slow to get up.

Gallivan: Tremere balances himself on top, then stands up. Lee Todd is up, but he's facing the wrong direction! He turns around... FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK BY KURT TREMERE!!!

Gallivan: Tremere drops onto Lee's chest, and now he starts ramming that padded Elbow into the side of Lee's head over and over! Lee tries to cover up, but Tremere is having his way with him.

Jim: Tremere didn't have to wrestle a tag match earlier tonight. Being Unified World Champion definitely has its perks.

Gallivan: Tremere finally gets off Lee and grabs him by the leg. He turns him over... STF BY KURT TREMERE!

Jim: Is that the third STF we've seen tonight? That's gotta be a record.

Gallivan: Outside of Japan? Probably. Tremere breaks the hold as soon as Rogers gives him credit for the move. These two are wrestling fast and furious in there. Two veterans who know just how much time is left without having to look at the clock.

Jim: I used to be able to do that too.

Gallivan: What happened?

Jim: I took a chairshot from "Klondike" Mike Pike and it screwed up my internal clock.

Gallivan: Sorry I asked. Tremere drags Lee back to his feet, and he's leading this match 3 points to 2. He grabs Lee by the arm, and pulls him in for a Short-arm Clothesline... but Lee ducks it!

Jim: Guys, give up on that move!

Gallivan: Lee tries to apply a Full Nelson on Tremere, but Kurt fires back an Elbow into the ribs of Todd. He spins around, and leaps up, locking his legs around Lee Todds head... BUT LEE REVERSES THE HURRACANRANA ATTEMPT INTO A SITOUT POWERBOMB!!! Lee crawls back to his feet, lifts up Tremere... STANDING HURRACANRANA BY LEE TODD!!!

Jim: He calls that the Fuckingsteiner.

Gallivan: Jim, the network has already complained about your language on the show. Could you give it a rest?

Jim: It's not my fault! That's Lee's name for the move! Don't shoot the messenger.

Gallivan: Tremere is slow to get up, but Lee is getting riled up here, and the crowd with him. He swings at Tremere, but the champ ducks under it, and Fireman Carries Lee to the mat! Todd scrambles back to his feet, and Tremere grabs him, Irish Whipping him off the ropes. Lee comes back... AND TREMERE CATCHES HIM WITH AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH!

Gallivan: Lee breaks free, grabbing Kurt by the arm. He pulls him in... SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE BY LEE TODD!

Jim: That's four apiece and there's two moves left.

Gallivan: Lee Todd, who had a brief flirtation with religion as of late, has tied it up.

Jim: As a wise man once said Johnny, "For good men to do good and evil men to do evil, that's normal. For good men to do evil... that takes religion."

Gallivan: That's surprisingly profound, Jim. I thought you had been born again?

Jim: I was, but then I realized that it doesn't take a church to live a happy, moral life.

Gallivan: Religious discussion aside, Tremere is back up, and Lee Irish Whips him off the ropes. He catches Tremere with a Tilt-a-whirl off the ropes, and cinches him for a Piledriver... but Tremere repositions his weight, dropping to the mat! He lifts up Lee for the tombstone... but Lee kicks his legs out and he falls back to the mat. Lee hoists Tremere up... TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER BY LEE TODD!!! It wasn't flowing, but Rogers is giving him credit for the tilt-a-whirl piledriver on that one.

Jim: Time is nearly gone!

Gallivan: Lee straddles Kurt Tremere and lifts his head off the canvas... AND APPLIES A CAMEL CLUTCH!!! He's cranking back, and DI Rogers is calling for the bell!

Gallivan: Those last two moves could have gone either way.

Jim: Incredible match. Lee pulled it out at the last second to score two quick points on Tremere. But, I think we all know that Lee's efforts tonight are a flash in the pan. Kurt Tremere is your next Iron Man.

Gallivan: The crowd at ringside is giving both these men applause as they leave the ring area. Well fans, after just 1 event, here's how the leaderboard shapes up for the 2003 Iron Man Competition.

[A graphic floats onto the screen. (it looks better than this)]

Gallivan: Well, Gabriel Blade tops the list followed closely by his tag team partner and his arch-nemesis, Michael Burke and Lee Todd. Tumbler, Tremere, and Dr. Karate are all chasing as well. The top of this board is very tight after just one event.

Jim: I can't wait until Shane Brandon pulls out all the stops to come from 12th place after the first round to win the whole damn thing!

Gallivan: I thought you were rooting for Kurt Tremere.

Jim: Oh yeah, I am. I just hope they don't meet each other in the ring.

Gallivan: Fans, we still don't have word on the condition of Eric Manson, but I've been told that he's been pulled out of the Iron Man Competition, so his injuries must be serious. I'm not sure whether his spot will be filled by an alternate, or if it will remain empty.

Jim: If it remains empty, that means one wrestler is going to have to wrestle the Teamwork Event on his own!

Gallivan: It will definitely put a slant on the whole tournament. Hopefully we'll find out more on next week's Blackened.

Jim: Don't worry. I'll get the scoop before then.

Gallivan: That's it. We apologize to the network for the over-run, but this show was just too important to cut short. Join us next show for the hardcore gauntlet that is Jester's Pyramid, and watch as we crown a brand new OWF Division Champion! For Jim Browski, I'm Johnny Gallivan... Good night!