[A commercial for "Rude Leon's Granny Frightener" goes off the air, and the sounds of an obvious cover version of "Blackened" begins to roar. Clips are shown of previous UWS action... Judas Dagon hurling Sean Lassiter into the wall... Brian Thorn and Gabriel Blade trading punches... and Mike Burke and Scar fighting off the Shinobis.]

[The UWS logo appears on the screen as the music is replaced by the sound of cheering fans. The camera cuts to a crowd shot. Thousands of fans are cheering in this arena. The building is larger than the previous one, but still reasonable size, and is just about sold out. Fans hold up signs like "The Doctor is in the House!"... "What Happened to Legacy?"... "I've got somewhere for you to sit down, Paine."... "Simply Perfection."... and "Judas Dagon MUST be stopped."]

[The show cuts to a pre-taped segment. Craig Lassiter, Bonnie Bellows, Marcus "Reaper" Ash, Johnny Lassiter, and Brian Thorn are in a large backstage area near the entrance doors of the arena.]

Johnny Lassiter: I've got to go. I just got a call from the hospital, and Sean is going into surgery in an hour. You guys are in full control until I get back.

Lassiter: Jesus, should I come with you?

Johnny Lassiter: No, stay here and keep this show running. Bonnie has the brackets for the Tag Team Tournament.

[Craig Lassiter grabs the clipboard from Bonnie.]

Lassiter: Don't you worry. I'll fire that Dagon freak so fast, his big fat head will spin.

Johnny Lassiter: No, you won't.

[Craig just stares at him.]

Johnny Lassiter: Listen, I am more angry at Dagon than you are, but we are not in a position to fire him. Our investors have been very clear on that point.

Lassiter: Are you listening to yourself? This guy crippled your son! What if Sean has to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair... like his old man?

[Johnny Lassiter looks up at his brother from his chair, and the two just stare at each other. Brian Thorn moves to step in between the two, but Johnny waves him off.]

Johnny Lassiter: This is a business decision, Craig. You are going to have to learn how to separate your personal feelings from what's best for the business.

[Craig kicks the wall behind him, and goes back to reading the clipboard.]

Johnny Lassiter: Now, Ash. I don't even know what to say about last show. I don't care who was responsible for getting the OWF wrestlers to the arena on time, but I want that person fired. I mean really, sending half the fed to the wrong province?

Reaper: The guy who did it has been seriously reprimanded. It won't happen again.

Johnny Lassiter: No it won't. Because from here on out UWS management will be handling all talent travel. Just one less thing for you guys to worry about.

Lassiter: Hey! What the hell is this?

Johnny Lassiter: You'll have to be more specific.

Lassiter: This list has Shane Brandon's name on it.

Johnny Lassiter: Yes it does.

Lassiter: Why?

Johnny Lassiter: Shane Brandon sells tickets. Besides, the lawyers think it would be an act of goodwill to give Brandon a slot in the upcoming UWS Tag Team Tournament. We are also cutting cheques for the past due fees that he is warranted.

Lassiter: After what that bastard did?

Johnny Lassiter: Craig, it's a business decision. Now, I can't sit around here all day trying to teach you how to run a successful business.

[Johnny Lassiter spins his chair around, and heads out the door. Thorn quickly heads out and holds the door open for him. The camera follows them out the door, leaving Craig Lassiter and Marcus Ash in a heated discussion behind them.]

[Outside the arena, Johnny wheels himself towards a large, white limosine.]

Brian Thorn: You want me to come with you.

Johnny Lassiter: No, stay here and boost our ratings.

Brian Thorn: Consider it done. I'd like to take a look at Scar's performance in the tag match as well. The kid shows some real potential. He's not perfect, but so few are.

[Then, a figure charges towards them from off-camera. Gary Frat, soaking wet for some unknown reason, steps in front of Johnny Lassiter and slams his hands down on the wheelchair's arm-rests.]

Gary Frat: Alright, Lassiter. You know me, I'm "Better Than Jesus" Gary Frat, and I'm a former #1 contender in the LWA. So, why haven't I got a shot at the OWF belt, huh? If you don't give me a title shot, you stupid cripple, I'll drag you across the parking lot by your ears!

[Johnny Lassiter looks more curious than frightened by Frat's outburst. Before he gets a chance to respond, Brian Thorn connects on Frat with a Standing Scissor Kick in the face. Frat flies backward, landing on his back on the concrete, blood coming from his mouth.]

Gary Frat: Goddammit!

[Lassiter wheels himself to his limo, and is helped out of the chair by his former bodyguard and current chauffeur, "D". Brian Thorn looks down at Frat and 'tsk's under his breath before heading back into the arena.]

Gary Frat: I'm better than Jesus, Goddammit!

[The show cuts backstage where there is a commotion going on in one of the dressing rooms. The cameraman is about to enter the room when the door bursts open. A bloody Crusader staggers out, following by Flashback, holding a steel expandable police baton. Crusader falls forward, takes another shot to the back of the head from Flashy, and stumbles into a storage closet. Flashback stops to catch his breath, just as Stu Price walks down the hallway.]

Stu: Hey, what's going on here?

[Flashback ignores him and turns to leave, but Stu stops him. He takes a look at the baton.]

Stu: That's pretty cool. Where did you get it?

Voice: He's borrowing it from me.

[Stu turns to around to see Kurt Tremere, holding another baton. Tremere swings, connecting across Stu's face, dropping him to the floor. Flashy and Tremere start laughing as they head on their way. The camera pans across a groaning Stu to the trashed dressing room. On the floor inside, is Archangel.]

[The show cuts to the arena, where the crowd continues to cheer and the Syni-tron lights up, showing handheld footage from what appears to be an FHW wrestling event. The legend, "Clip NOT courtesy of Firkn Hardcore Wrestling" appears on the bottom of the screen. In the FHW ring, LWA President Craig Lassiter is facing off against FHW World Champion, Tumbler.]

Fred Estridge: Tumbles backs Lassiter up into the corner and leans into him..

Peter Roberts: But Lassiter stops him with a quick eye gouge. Tumbler stumbles back and Lassiter jumps on him with a front facelock. Lassiter lifts Tumbler up, drops him across the top rope, and suplexes him back into the ring! Slingshot suplex! Shades of the Four Horsemen, and Tully Blan..

Fred Estridge: Tully who? The Four what?

Peter Roberts: Lassiter turns Tumbler over and hooks up his legs.. he's going for an Indian deathlock.. again! Lassiter falls back to the mat and Tumbler howls out in pain! The referee is checking on Tumbler, but he's shaking his head back and forth. Lassiter gets back up to his feet and falls back down.. and Tumbler cries out in pain again! The referee is asking Tumbler if he wants to quit, but the World champion is still shaking his head.

Fred Estridge: Lassiter gets back up.. and Tumbles makes his move. Tumbles crawls towards the ropes.. and Lassiter can't do anything to stop him. Lassiter throws himself back down, and Tumble-butt cries out in pain.. but he keeps crawling. Lassiter releases the leg lock as Tumbles reaches out.. and he drags him back into the center of the ring!

Peter Roberts: Lassiter turns Tumbler over, but Tumbler decks him in the chest with a defensive kick. Tumbler fires off another kick to Lassiter's chest, and sets Lassiter stumbling backwards.

Fred Estridge: Tumbles gets back up to his feet, and he strikes out at Lassiter with a hard kick to the midsection.. and another. Lassiter doubles over, and Tumbles knocks him back with a knee lift.

Peter Roberts: Lassiter stumbles back and Tumbler pursues him. Tumbler kicks Lassiter in the midsection.. and again. Lassiter doubles over once more, and Tumbler lifts and drapes his leg across his neck.. and drops him face first into the mat with a Rocker Dropper! Tumbler rolls Lassiter over for the pin..

[The referee drops to the mat and makes the count. One.. Two.. Thr..]

Peter Roberts: Lassiter managed to get his shoulder up just in time!

Fred Estridge: I swear that was a three count.

Peter Roberts: Well, the ref didn't seem to think so, though it was extremely close.

Fred Estridge: Bah.

Peter Roberts: Tumbler pulls the near unconcious form of Lassiter up to his feet.. boot to the stomach by Lassiter..BAD MOJO! BAD MOJO out of nowhere! Lassiter with the pin.. no! This can't be happening!

[The referee slaps his hand against the mat, making the count. One.. Two.. Three!]

Fred Estridge: Ah, shit.

Peter Roberts: Oh no! Oh my God! Lassiter has done it! Lassiter has defeated Tumbler!

Fred Estridge: Dammit.

[Craig Lassiter drags himself into one of the corners and pulls himself up by the ropes. He shakes the cobwebs loose, and stares at Tumbler, who is slumped into the corner opposite him. The ref climbs into the room with the FHW World Title, and hands it to Craig Lassiter. Craig straps it around his waist, and beams a smile to the crowd.]

["Refuse/Resist" by Apocalyptica begins to play and Craig Lassiter steps through the entrance curtain just as the clip ends. He gets a surprisingly favorable response from the fans, and he takes his time walking to the ring.]

Gallivan: Talk about a reversal of fortunes. Last show, Craig Lassiter looked ready to throw it all in, but after that incredible contest, he's got to be feeling a hell of a lot better.

Jim: Well, he ended his wrestling career the way he wanted.

[Lassiter takes a mic from ringside and rolls into the ring. He takes a moment to walk around the ring, absorbing the fans' cheers before speaking.]

Lassiter: Well, how was your week? (pause) I don't want to waste too much UWS time on this, but I do run half the fed, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to thank Tumbler for giving me the best match of my career. The kid is still young, and still getting better every day. We went for a beer after the match, and I had a chance to talk to Tumbler outside the context of a wrestling ring. The kid knows which way the wind is blowing, and definitely knows what's best for his career.

Jim: Is he saying what I think he's saying.

Gallivan: Probably, but I've been told not to infer anything about the current FHW World Champion. We've got enough lawsuits to deal with, without adding another.

Jim: Hey, does this mean that FHW has a world champion who was beat by our president?

Gallivan: I believe it does.

Jim: Hehehe, FHW sucks!

Lassiter: Now, my scintillating career aside, I've got more serious things to talk about. Tonight is a little bittersweet, because it has just come to my attention that my nephew Sean Lassiter has suffered a broken neck at the hands of Judas Dagon last show.

[The cheers of the crowd immediately cease.]

Lassiter: This is just the latest in a string of injuries Dagon has perpetrated against Dasher Ufung, The Native, Ken Holbrook, Sean Lassiter, Seun, and a string of people you've never even heard of. Sean is going under the knife tonight, and although I'd rather be there by his side, I've got work to do. The first thing I'd like to do is FIRE JUDAS DAGON!

[The crowd reacts, many of them cheering, but the sicker members of the crowd start to boo.]

Lassiter: I'd like to do that, but I can't. For some stupid reason, this freak's contract is being protected. But, since Dagon is under an LWA contract, I do have the right to do what I am about to do. From this moment, Judas Dagon is suspended! He will not be wrestling for this organization... indefinitely.

Gallivan: Woah! Lassiter is laying down the law here, despite what he was told by his brother.

Jim: This is actually a good business decision. The longer Dagon stays in this fed, the more injured wrestlers we are going to have.

Lassiter: I know Gabriel Blade isn't going to like this, but that means the Cage of Justice match at the pay-per-view is also cancelled! As long as I'm in charge, this monster will not be wrestling.

[Suddenly, "The Thing That Should Not Be" begins to play, and the audience roars in response.]

Gallivan: Oh dear.

Jim: That's Dagon's music. Another Lassiter is about to bite the dust.

Gallivan: I think the color just drained out of Craig Lassiter's face.

[Lassiter turns to face the entrance curtain in nervous anticipation. Then, as the song reaches its climax, a much smaller figure steps through the curtain. The crowd is noticeably deflated when Edmund Paine II steps out with a microphone in hand. Before speaking, Paine shows a mischievious grin.]

Paine: Oops, I don't know how that music got on there. Those guys in the production truck and their slippery fingers.

Lassiter: What do you want, Mr. Peanut?

Paine: Well, math was never my strong subject at school. I much preferred Phys Ed. But, I can put two and two together. If Judas Dagon is suspended, that means I'm without a match tonight.

Lassiter: Tough darts. I just did you a favor.

Paine: Now hold on. It seems that you've got a vacancy in the LWA Title match. So, if you'd be so kind as to name me as the #1 contender, then all is forgiven.

Lassiter: Stick it!

Paine: (under his breath) Don't tempt me.

Lassiter: Paine, I've already selected a #1 contender. I've got a lot to do out here, and these fans want to see some wrestling, so why don't you get lost before I come down there and insert my boot in your ass.

[The crowd laughs at the implication, but Craig Lassiter looks around, confused. Suddenly a blast of static triggers a very familiar voice which speaks simply..."Lets Dance...", as a Gunshot sounds bringing to life the disturbing sounds of Marilyn Manson's "AntiChrist Superstar". The fans explode as the pictures of a hand of poker cards, three 8s and two aces, Dead mans Hand, shimmers over the Reapertron and is replaced by pictures of strip clubs, bar room brawls, the anatomy of a shotgun and the gleaming black hull of a 1969 Dodge Charger 426 hemi. A pulsing gray and black light begins flickering wildly around the crowd and then, step by step, two dirty black boots caress the stage followed by the duster wearing, long haired, unshaven smug face of the one and only Marcus "The Reaper" Ash. His eyes hid by his silver sunglasses as in one hand he holds his finest double barrel shot gun while gambling away his life in the smoke of a sweet Cuban cigar. Ash stands next to Paine, blowing smoke in his face. He holds out his hand for Paine's mic, but after changing his mind, he pulls one of his own out of his duster.]

Reaper: God knows where that has been.

Paine: You know what they say cigars are a metaphor for?

Reaper: This cigar will be a big burning metaphor in your eye, Smiley. Now, get the hell out of here, turd-burgler, before I give you something to suck on... 24 inches of cold steel.

[As Reaper waves the shotgun in his direction, Paine grins and does a mock curtsy before leaving through the entrance curtain. Marcus Ash heads down to the ring.]

Lassiter: C'mon Ash, time is money. (he pulls a gold pocketwatch from the pocket of his black jeans) You're only 2 weeks late.

[The comment gets a laugh from some of the fans. Reaper shoots him a look and climbs into the ring.]

Reaper: Let's get this show on the road. Losers and vagabonds, it gives me mild discomfort to announce to you that in two weeks time, from the Ottawa Metro-Centre, the UWS will hold its first pay-per-view event, just in time for the holidays... UWS HOLLYCAUST!!!

[The fans cheer the announcement especially loud, considering the close proximity of Ottawa to tonight's arena.]

Lassiter: Yes, at Hollycaust, we will be crowning a UWS Unified World Heavyweight Champion when the LWA Division champion steps into the ring against the OWF Division champion.

Reaper: I don't like your chances, Craig.

Lassiter: We'll just see about that. In addition to that top-rate matchup, we will be having an entire, 8-team single-elimination tournament for the UWS World Tag Team championship. (he holds up a clipboard to the crowd) And I've got the names right here.

Reaper: You want to hurry it up?

Lassiter: Surely. Sixteen of the UWS's best. (he holds up the clipboard) Ladies and gentlemen, here are the teams in no particular order. Team #1... "Threat" Shane Brandon and Hoser!

Gallivan: Wow, talk about two different ends of the spectrum there.

Jim: You talk a lot of crap, you know that?

Lassiter: Team #2... Flashback and Kurt Tremere!

Grumpy: That's a bit of a coincidence, isn't it?

Dutch: Huh?

Grumpy: Given that Flashy and Kurt just double-teamed Archangel and Crusader backstage? Are you even watching the show?

Dutch: Yeah.

Grumpy: Jumping Jesus on a pogostick. Next thing, we'll see Archangel and Crusader end up on the same team. I thought these teams were supposed to be random?

Jim: Shut the hell up over there, ya OWF jagoffs!

Lassiter: Team #3... Lee Todd and Paco... (glances at the sheet) Sorry, that's a mis-spelling. Lee Todd and Stu Price!

Gallivan: How the hell do you mis-spell Stu Price P A C O? Something smells rotten out here.

Jim: That's Grumpy.

Lassiter: Team #4... Red Zachary and Arthur "Crusader" Sage! Team #5... Edmund Paine II and Paco. Yes, Paco.

Gallivan: You know something, Jim. If I didn't know better, I'd think that Craig Lassiter intentionally altered those brackets to put Lee Todd on a team with his old buddy Stu Price.

Jim: Yeah, well you are a bitter, spiteful man Gallivan.

Lassiter: Team #6... Brian Thorn and Scar!

Gallivan: Well, we heard Thorn mention that he wanted to watch Scar's match at the beginning of the show. Given his relationship with Johnny Lassiter, it looks like these teams were messed with by Johnny Lassiter as well as Craig Lassiter.

Jim: I'm sure Ash feels left out now.

Lassiter: Team #7... "Demolition Man" Michael Burke and "Sentinel" Gabriel Blade!

Gallivan: Shades of Industrial Sex and Violence, it looks like somebody wants Mike Burke to follow in his older brother's footsteps in the UWS.

Lassiter: And finally, Team #8... "Illegally Extreme" Eric Manson and "The Delinquent" Leo Kirk! UWS fans, it will definitely be a wild night. These teams will face off, and the winning team will represent the UWS as its Tag Team Champions, defending their titles in both divisions.

Reaper: Ok, enough of that. We've got a show to put on tonight don't forget.

Lassiter: Ok. Ladies and gentlemen, to make up for the shambles that was the last UWS Blackened, tonight's show will be a blockbuster. Firstly, and most importantly, the LWA Division. Due to the heinous actions of Judas Dagon last week, his match against Edmund Paine has been cancelled. But, like the gentleman that I am, I have given Marcus Ash that extra time for the OWF.

Dutch: Oh, what a humanitarian.

Grumpy: Shut up.

Lassiter: In addition to Michael Burke and Scar going up against The Shinobis in tag action, Lee Todd will be facing the #1 LWA contender for the vacant LWA Division Title. Now, technically, as a direct result of his 2-and-0 record, the #1 contender for the LWA Division title is... The Native!

[The fans boo tremendously at the news. Craig Lassiter grins at Ash.]

Gallivan: Come on! The Native may be a great competitor, but he's no match against Lee Todd. This is just another example of Craig's favoritism towards Todd coming to light. What a travesty.

Lassiter: But, because the Native has suffered a throat injury at the hands of Judas Dagon, the new #1 contender is... "Sentinel" Gabriel Blade!!!

[The fans react big time to the announcement.]

Jim: Now, don't you feel like a bit of a fool, Gallivan, after your reaction?

Gallivan: Ok, I may have been a little quick to criticize Craig Lassiter. I don't mean to be cynical, but it sounds like Craig Lassiter is giving Gabe the match to divert his attention away from Dagon.

Jim: Dagon? Dagon who?

Gallivan: Why me?

Reaper: Ok, enough nonsense. Tonight, the OWF will be in overdrive. "Delinquent" Leo Kirk will be facing the "Japanese Torpedo" Uesugi! "Illegally Extreme" Eric Manson will compete one-on-one against Red Zachary! After what went on backstage earlier tonight, Arthur "Crusader" Sage will take on Flashback! And that fat tub of shit Dave Snow will have to test himself against Stu Price.

Dutch: Wow, what a lineup?

Grumpy: (giving Browski the finger) Take that, LWA scum!

Reaper: Oh, I almost forgot the main event. Since they didn't get it done last time, Hoser and Archangel will face off, with the OWF Division Title on the line! And also as a result of what went on earlier tonight... and just to make it a little more Outlaw, I'm tossing Kurt Tremere in there as well. Tremere, you want to mess with the OWF champion? Well you better be ready to face the consequences. This match WILL HAVE A WINNER! And that man will represent the OWF in the world title match at Hollycaust.

[Both presidents drop their microphones and head out of the ring to several competing chants... LWA and OWF. The camera pans across to the LWA announce table. Johnny Gallivan is wearing a sensible suit, but Jim Browski is wearing a red sweater.]

Gallivan: Well, Jim. It looks like the UWS is back in form. Tonight's show should be something.

Jim: For once, I'll agree with you.

Gallivan: Now Jim. I seem to recall a bet you made last show regarding The Native. Why aren't you wearing a dress?

Jim: I am.

Gallivan: What?

Jim: You can't see it because it's underneath the table.

Gallivan: Well, I think all these good people deserve to see what you're going to be wearing for the entire night, don't you?

Jim: Yeah, I guess so.

[Jim Browski stands up from the announce table, revealing his lower torso, which is clad in a kilt.]

Gallivan: Jim, that's not a dress!

Jim: Yes it is! (he starts dancing around the announce table, much to the delight of the fans at ringside) Just call me the Firk'n Browski! Ach, me laddies. Ay... wars dem sheep, I wants ta wet me willy!

Gallivan: Sit down, Jim.

[After giving the front row a quick flash of his hairy ass, Jim sits down at the announce table, grinning from ear to ear. Johnny Gallivan covers his face in his hands to hide his giggles.]

Jim: Gallivan, me bucko. Tonight, I'm an honorary Scotsman!

[Gallivan dares another glance at Jim and starts laughing again.]

Gallivan: Cut to something... anything!

[The show cuts backstage, where Zeke is doing camera tests with his rookie cameraman, Zonker. A man walks into the hallway, wearing a very menacing chrome steel Jester mask. He would be even more menacing if he wasn't also wearing a purple business suit. He also has a leg brace on, and walks with the aid of a silver Jester-headed cane. Zeke, thinking quickly, grabs a microphone from Zonker, and walks up to him.]

Zeke: Ken, Ken Holbrook, is that you?

Holbrook: Yes, Zeke. Before you ask, this mask is to protect my face while my broken nose heals. This place is full of ruffians who would like nothing better than to mess with my face.

Zeke: Ken, we saw you last show trapped in a room with Judas Dagon. Is that mask covering up a busted up face?

[Ken raises the mask, showing a bandaged nose, but an otherwise undamaged face.]

Holbrook: What on earth are you talking about?

Zeke: Last show. We saw you go into that storage closet, and then Dagon went in after you. How the heck did you manage to get away uninjured?

Holbrook: Zeke, I don't have time for this crap. I've got work to do.

[Zeke turns back to the camera, and shrugs.]

[The show cuts to a backstage office, where Craig Lassiter and Marcus Ash are looking over the brackets for the tag team tournament.]

Reaper: Should be interesting, don't you think?

Lassiter: Indeedy. Now, listen. I've got Lee Todd and Gabe going at it tonight for the vacant LWA Division Title. I think it goes without saying that this will be our main event.

Reaper: I beg to differ, smiley. Archangel, Hoser, and Tremere. Three Aces beats your pair of Jokers. They are going to make history in that ring tonight.

Lassiter: Ok, let's flip for it.

Reaper: Uh uh. This time, we cut for it.

[The Reaper pulls out a deck of cards, and drops it onto the desk.]

Reaper: High card wins.

Lassiter: Ok.

[Craig Lassiter hesitates, then cuts the deck. He looks at his card, and smiles.]

Lassiter: Your turn.

[Reaper sizes up the deck for a few seconds, then cuts. He motions to Craig, who holds out his card... the Ten of Diamonds. Reaper smirks, and displays his card... the King of Clubs.]

Reaper: Looks like I get the main event.

[Craig Lassiter looks about to speak, when there is a knock at the door. Bonnie Bellows enters, followed by a rather short, balding man, wearing an ill-fitting blue suit. He smooths down his greasy combover and holds out his hand to Marcus Ash, who just looks at him as if we was a freak.]

Venkman: Timothy Venkman. You must be Mr. Lassiter.

Reaper: What in the Sam hell are you?

[Craig Lassiter sees the look on Ash's face and jumps in between them, shaking the small man's hand.]

Lassiter: Mr. Venkman, I'm Craig Lassiter, LWA President. This is my OWF counterpart, Marcus Ash.

[Ash shakes his hand, but still looks very confused.]

Lassiter: This is Mr. Venkman... from the network.

Reaper: Oh, that Venkman.

Lassiter: We are glad to have you here, Mr. Venkman. Did you have any trouble parking?

Venkman: No, not at all. (he looks at Reaper, who is staring at him) Is something wrong?

Reaper: Yeah, your name is Timothy Venkman, that means your initials are T.V., right?

Venkman: (smiling) Yes. I work in TV and my initials are TV. I get that a lot. It's almost as if I was some fictional character in a novel, or great work of fiction.

[Ash and Craig look at each other, then at the camera.]

Reaper: I wouldn't go that far.

Venkman: Well, Misters Ash and Lassiter, I've got quite a litany of complaints against this program, I'll have you know. Firstly, and most importantly, a show with such sex, violence and bad language just cannot air without some sort of warning at the beginning of the program; something which UWS Blackened is lacking.

Lassiter: An oversight and nothing else.

Reaper: Listen, why don't I get you a chair and we can go over all your so-called infractions.

Venkman: That sounds fine.

[Craig takes the initiative and leaves the room to look for another chair. Ash sits down in one chair, and offers the other to Venkman. He pulls a dark bottle out of one of the desk drawers, along with two glasses.]

Reaper: Drink?

Venkman: Oh no. I don't drink.

Reaper: Oh, you think this is alcohol? Dear me, no. This is Captain Morgan... a local delicacy. It's made from the milk of criminally insane moose.

Venkman: Really? Well, if it's non-alcoholic, I guess I'll have a small one.

[The show cuts outside the office, where Craig Lassiter is headed back, a folding chair under his arm. Edmund Paine steps out in front of him, blocking his progress.]

Lassiter: Oh, you again. What do you want?

Paine: What do I want? (he eyes Craig up and down) Well, maybe later. Right now, I want a match. I was ready to make Dagon cry uncle Eddie, but you took that away from me. If you give me a match, I'd be ever so grateful. I'd do just about anything.

[Edmund Paine twists his toe into the floor in an effort to look innocent. It doesn't work.]

Lassiter: What the hell is wrong with you. The matches are set, and you're not getting one. If you want to help out, go help Donnie Rose handle the concession booths. I'm busy trying to keep this show on the air.

[Paine looks at him, then stamps his feet in mock protest.]

Paine: Ok, I'll help out. But I'm not leaving here tonight until I get a match.

[He walks off, but not before blowing Craig a kiss. Craig Lassiter watches him leave, then shakes his head.]

Lassiter: That boy ain't right.

[The show cuts to ringside, where Aspen Sandstrum is standing in the ring, microphone in hand.]

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, before the next contest, I've been asked that you please extinguish all smoking materials before the next UWS superstar makes his appearance. Ladies and gentlemen, from the Kung-Fu Kollege of Kucamonga, he is the manager of champions... DR KARATE!!!

["Kung-fu Fighting" begins to play as Dr. Karate steps through the entrance curtain. He makes his way to the ring, amidst the boos of the fans, flapping the tails of his labcoat behind him. He climbs into the ring, looks Aspen up and down, then snatches the microphone away from her.]

Dr. Karate: Yes, wrestling fans... it is me, Dr. Karate. I, Dr. Karate have returned to the ring to give you something to hold onto. Someone to live vicariously through. Someone to love. (he smiles at the fans, who respond with boos) Although I am undoubtedly the greatest LWA Cruiserweight Champion ever, I, Dr. Karate, have taken a step back in this business, and am now focusing my talents on the managerial arts.

Dutch: What does that mean?

Grumpy: It means, he's going to stand at ringside during Uesugi's matches and get his ass kicked a lot.

Dr. Karate: I, Dr. Karate, am a role-model to the youth of America... and Canada. Something sorely needed in these troubling times. But, it hasn't always been easy for me, Dr. Karate. No sir. I, Dr. Karate, remember being the son of a practising neuro-surgeon and a professional wrestler; both tops in their respective fields. Mom would teach me the tools of the trade... leglocks, armlocks, full nelsons, and Dad would teach me to use a scalpel on the Christmas turkey for deli-thin slices. They both wanted me to follow in their footsteps, but as an only child, the pressure was great. Then, when I was five...

[The crowd starts to boo even louder as Karate drones on, to the point of him stopping.]

Dr. Karate: You people are ingrates, you know that?

[Karate drops the microphone, and leaves the ring. Aspen bends to get it, prompting a chorus of catcalls from the audience.]

Dutch: This guy is something, isn't he?

Grumpy: Oh, he's something alright.

[The show cuts backstage to a minimalistic lockeroom. "Demolition Man" Michael Burke is sitting on a bench, lacing up his boots, when Scar walks in.]

Scar: Hey, Mike. It's time for our match.

Burke: Give me a minute. I'll meet you at the curtain.

[Scar ducks back out of the room as Mike finishes lacing up his boots. He opens up the locker with his name on it and retrieves his basketball jersey and puts it on. Burke turns to leave, but stops after he notices something in the locker. Reaching in, he curses under his breath. Burke yanks what appears to be an article of clothing out of the locker, and kicks open the lockeroom door. The camera follows him as he charges down the hallway towards Craig Lassiter's interim office. Burke bursts in unannounced, where Craig Lassiter and Marcus Ash are feeding more Captain Morgan to Mr. Venkman.]

Burke: What the hell is this?

[Burke unfurls the piece of clothing, which now appears to be a Shinobi outfit, with the Roman numeral IV emblazoned on the front.]

Lassiter: Why, it appears to be a Shinobi IV outfit with the Roman numeral IV emblazoned on the front.

Burke: And what the hell was it doing in my locker?

[Craig Lassiter shrugs with a grin, and looks over to Reaper.]

Reaper: Don't look at me.

[Mike Burke tosses the outfit at Lassiter, and storms out of the room. Reaper just looks at him.]

Lassiter: I wonder if this thing still fits.

[Mr. Venkman opens his mouth to say something, but falls off his chair in a fit of laughter.]

Reaper: Get this man another drink.

[The show cuts back to ringside.]

Gallivan: Fans, I'm being told that Scar has signed his LWA contract tonight, so he's officially on the LWA roster. Both divisions have been aggressively signing wrestlers this past week, for fear of losing them to the other.

Gallivan: Great match. It's a shame that Scar and Burke didn't get picked as partners in the tag tournament.

[Suddenly, without warning, the monster known as Judas Dagon breaks through the entrance curtain.]

Gallivan: IT'S DAGON!!!

[He storms down the entrance ramp, but is immediately set upon by security.]

Gallivan: Dagon is fighting off UWS security here, but they aren't much of a match for this big man. He seriously injured the mammoth Seun last show, so that big man isn't here to stop him tonight.

Jim: The rest of our security team is pretty green.

Gallivan: Dagon tosses a couple of security guards over the guardrail into the crowd, and he's making a beeline for the ring. The Shinobis have wisely bailed out of there, and are escaping through the crowd.

Jim: Unwisely, Scar and Burke are standing their ground.

Gallivan: Burke nods to Scar, who bails out of the ring. He reaches for a chair... but Dagon is on him like a shot! Dagon just barrels into him, crushing him against the barricade! Now, the big man is just raining down punches on the already bloody cruiserweight.

Jim: Ach, here comes Burke!

Gallivan: Mike Burke climbs up to the top rope, and dives off to the floor... NAILING DAGON WITH A DOUBLE AX-HANDLE ACROSS THE BACK!

Jim: Oooh yeah! I mean... Ach aye!

Gallivan: The beast has been stunned, but Burke crumpled to the floor after that move. Scar takes this opportunity to scramble away from Dagon, and he grabs a chair. He turns around to face Dagon... but the big man hits him with a Back Elbow to the face! Dagon grabs Scar... AND CHOKESLAMS HIM TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!! He lines up the downed cruiserweight, and... dear God! It looks like he's going to hit him with the legdrop!

Jim: He busted up Ken Holbrook pretty bad with that legdrop, and Scar will be no exception. Course, he isn't that pretty so it won't be such a loss.

Gallivan: Hang on! Burke is up, and leaps onto Dagon's back! He starts firing punches into the side of Dagon's head like a jackhammer! Judas Dagon is actually starting to buckle under this assault from the Demolition Man! As Burke continues to nail him, Dagon steps backward... RAMMING BURKE INTO THE RINGPOST!!!

Jim: Ay, that had ta hurt!

Gallivan: Somehow, Mike Burke held on! He is still firing punches at Dagon, but they don't have the same sting. Dagon reaches back and grabs Burke, pulling him around to the side... CANADIAN BACKBREAKER BY DAGON!!! Mike Burke has curled up on that concrete, holding his ribs, and this kid is in a world of hurt.

Jim: Dagon's only just started.

Gallivan: This looks bad for Burke and Scar as Dagon shakes loose the cobwebs. Hold on! It's Gabriel Blade!!!

["The Sentinel" Gabriel Blade rushes out from the back, still favoring his left leg, and charges to the ring.]

Gallivan: Gabe hits Dagon head on with a Lariat, sending him back into the security guardrail! Dagon comes back with an overhand Haymaker to Gabe! Gabe fires back a shot of his own, and now both men are just hurling punches at each other! This is a five-alarm punchup, no doubt about it!

Jim: Hold ye horses, we got more comp'ny.

Gallivan: It's Ken Holbrook! The Jester is limping out here with his walking stick in hand. What on earth is he doing out here?

Jim: Whatever he's doing, he's in an awful hurry to do it.

Gallivan: No! He just speared Gabe in the back of the neck with point of that silver cane! After what Dagon did to him, I can't believe Holbrook is helping this monster out! Dagon takes the advantage... AND CHOKESLAMS THE SENTINEL TO THE CONCRETE!!!

[Ken Holbrook, still decked out in his chrome Jester mask, starts pointing to the downed Scar.]

Gallivan: Dagon looks down at the helpless cruiserweight, and grins! He steps over... AND NAILS SCAR WITH A SPLASH!!! He just brought down all his weight on that kid, and he's damn near been crushed! Meanwhile, Holbrook is wailing on Mike Burke with that cane! Fans, I can't believe Dagon would work with anyone, let alone Ken Holbrook. Surely, there must be something more to this than meets the eye.

[This time it is Dagon who does the instructing. He points to the top turnbuckle, and Holbrook climbs up on the ring apron, and starts to head up to the top.]

Gallivan: Dagon tosses Gabriel Blade into the ring and follows him in. He tries to get to his feet, but Dagon hits him with a vicious Running Knee to the head! Now, he drops to the mat... AND LOCKS A LEG GRAPEVINE ON GABE!!!

Jim: This guys no ordinary big man. He's targeted that injured knee of Gabe, and it looks like Dagon is going to cripple the Sentinel here and now, since he's not going to be able to do it at the pay-per-view.

Gallivan: Gabe is trying to fight his way out of it, but Dagon is just too big. He's tearing at that knee, and Gabe is in incredible pain! Ken Holbrook is on the top rope, and he dives off... HITTING GABE DEAD TO RIGHTS WITH A FLYING HEADBUTT!!! Holbrook was wearing that steel mask and came down square on the left knee of Gabe. Gabe is screaming in pain in that ring! This is insane!

Jim: I think Holbrook knocked himself out with that move. He's not moving.

Gallivan: Dagon kicks Holbrook in the ribs, jarring him back to consciousness. He drags himself into the corner, and pulls off the mask. Judas Dagon is finally leaving, and thank heaven for that. Ken Holbrook, the cheapshot artist, is following him. Fans, our incredibly overworked UWS medical team hits the ring as soon as it's safe and they are checking on Gabriel Blade. The kid is still in untold pain, and it looks like Gabe is done for.

Jim: He won't be competing in the LWA Title match tonight, let alone at the pay-per-view.

Gallivan: This is incredibly unfair. I hope Johnny Lassiter reconsiders the advice of his "investors", and does away with this Dagon once and for all.

[The show cuts to a commercial break. When it returns, the cameras are backstage, where Gabriel Blade is lying on a stretcher being looked at by Doc Andrews. He still looks to be in incredible pain. Doc Andrews has wrapped a good portion of Gabe's leg.]

Doc Andrews: You've got some pretty bad tendon damage, but nothing's broken. Damned lucky.

Gabriel Blade: I don't feel very lucky.

[Craig Lassiter breaks into the room, followed by two of the beefier members of the UWS security team.]

Lassiter: You ok, kid?

Gabriel Blade: I've been worse.

Lassiter: Those bastards Dagon and Holbrook have already fled the building. When I get my hands on that punk, I'll...

[Gabe grabs Craig by the collar, and pulls him down so that they are face-to-face.]

Gabriel Blade: I want Dagon in that cage.

Lassiter: Kid...

[The look in Gabe's eyes tells Craig that he doesn't have a choice.]

Lassiter: Ok, it's your funeral. (Gabe releases him) But I've still got to look out for the rest of my roster. So, that Cage of Justice... it's going to have a roof. It'll just be you and Dagon in that cage, no refs, no way out. And my guys will not open that door until there's a winner... no matter what. You still want it?

Gabriel Blade: Even moreso.

Lassiter: Don't say I didn't warn you. Ok, I'll remove Dagon's suspension for one night at Hollycaust. Kid, I hope you know what you're doing.

Gabriel Blade: I'm not sure I know what I'm doing... but I do know what must be done.

[Craig slaps him on the shoulder and leaves. As Gabe leans back on the stretcher, Andrews takes a syringe from his bag along with a small vial. He starts to load the syringe, but Gabe grabs him by the arm.]

Gabriel Blade: What are you doing?

Doc Andrews: I'm numbing the whole area. You think you're in pain now? In twenty minutes, you'll envy the dead.

Gabriel Blade: I've got a match tonight. Put that needle away.

Doc Andrews: What? You're not wrestling tonight. Hell, it'll be a miracle if you get cleared to wrestle in two weeks. Take the night off, and count your blessings.

[The show cuts to a hallway where the camera is following Craig Lassiter and his security contingent. He is glancing around corners suspiciously, and looks more than a little nervous. He heads into another area of the arena, where all the concessions are setup. Donnie Rose is directing some interns and young kids who are handling merchandise. In the back, Edmund Paine II is happily packing boxes for one of the booths. The label on all the boxes read, "Rick Dees' Family-style Fudge." Craig sees Paine, and turns to leave, but the monocled wrestler sees him and runs out to intercept.]

Paine: Craigy, how are things?

Lassiter: Paine, why are you bothering me? Haven't I suffered enough?

Paine: I just saw what happened on that monitors... terrible, nasty stuff.

Lassiter: That could have been you out there, you know that?

Paine: Don't I know it. But, since your #1 contender is all busted up, I was wondering if you'd reconsidered my offer?

[Craig looks him up and down.]

Lassiter: You haven't even wrestled for the LWA yet. I can't just put you in a title match.

Paine: Who else have you got?

Lassiter: Mike Burke?

Paine: He's in the back with Dr. Zamboolah getting something for the pain. His kidneys are in a terrible state.

Lassiter: Scar?

Paine: Ditto. Ribs in place of kidneys.

Lassiter: ...

Paine: Don't forget, Craigy. You screwed me by taking Stu off my team for the tag tournament. You owe me this much.

[Craig looks around as he struggles to think of another name.]

Lassiter: Mitch and Leon! They want some revenge from Lee's attack on them at the first show. We'll make it a handicap match.

Paine: Members of the ring crew? Craigy, you know what you've got to do... for the good of the company.

Lassiter: (hesitates) Ok, you got the match.

[Edmund Paine jumps up and down, clapping his hands as Craig Lassiter starts to walk away.]

Paine: You won't regret this, Craigy.

Lassiter: (turning back) Stop calling me Craigy!

[Craig Lassiter heads off, followed by his security.]

Paine: What a bitch.

[The show cuts back to ringside, where Aspen Sandstrum is standing, microphone in hand.]

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, from New York City, and weighing in at 278 lbs... "ILLEGALLY EXTREME" ERIC MANSON!!!

[Lights go out his music plays. Pyro goes off. Slowly stalks to the ring. Climbs up the steps and enters the ring.]

Dutch: Well, Manson looks ready for this one.

Grumpy: Hey, Reaper left the brackets for the tag tournament here. It looks like this one is a bit of a preview. Eric Manson and Leo Kirk will be taking on Red Zachary and Crusader in the first round of the tourney.

Dutch: Coincidence?

Grumpy: I doubt it.

Aspen: And his opponent, from Anchorage, Alaska, and weighing in at 275 lbs... RED ZACHARY!!!

["I'm Afraid of Americans" begins to play over the speakers of the auditorium as Red Zachary steps out.. He has his shirt tied around his waist, a red shirt, and he sports black & green military pants.. He slowly makes pace down the ring, he's very well built & he looks like he's about to explode. He slowly makes his way to the ring & then methodically makes his way up the steel steps, stepping through the ropes & into the ring... He stands by the front ropes & stares back at his opponent...]

Dutch: Here we go. Reaper has told me to tell everyone that both Zachary and Manson have signed OWF contracts, so they are officially members of our team.

Grumpy: Good. If you're not a member of our team, then you're a member of that LWA team. And everyone knows, LWA gives you herpes.

Dutch: Really?

Grumpy: Sure... there were studies done. Course, it's better than what FHW gives you.

Dutch: What's that?

Grumpy: New Star.

Dutch: Oh well, sucks to be them. DI Rogers is back in action as our ref, and he signals for the bell. Eric hits Red with a flurry of punches right from the get go. Zachary starts to fire back punches of his own, and these guys are just brawling in there! Red hits Eric with a Knee into the midsection, but Eric shoots on him, knocking him to the mat. The two are rolling on the canvas, throwing fists and elbows wherever they can get a chance. Manson finally takes control of the match... and starts choking Zachary! Rogers puts on the count, but Eric refuses to budge. He threatens DQ, and finally Manson breaks the hold. Zachary is slow to get up, and Eric is waiting on him. He boots Zachary in the midsection, and hoists him up... Snowplow Suplex on Red Zachary! Eric hooks the leg, and here's the first cover... 1... Kickout! Instead of getting up, Eric just starts firing punches back into the head of Zachary.

Grumpy: These guys are punching like this is a 60 second match. They better save something for the end.

Dutch: Hold on there, Leo Kirk is on his way out here.

Grumpy: Kirk's just keeping an eye on his tag team partner. He's allowed to do that.

[Kirk takes a look at the action in the ring, and makes a beeline for the announce table. He rips the sheet of paper out of Grumpy's hands and reads it, then tosses it back on the table.]

Dutch: One of the great wrestling myths dispelled. Leo Kirk can read.

Grumpy: Now he knows that Zachary will be one of their opponents at Hollycaust. Things don't look good for Red out here tonight.

Dutch: Yeah, thanks to you announcing it on TV. You think the wrestlers don't watch the show in the back? Eric finally gets up after another warning from Rogers. He drags Zachary to his feet... and hurls him chest-first into the turnbuckle! Manson is there when he bounces out and grabs him from behind... HALF NELSON SUPLEX! Now, Manson just starts stomping the hell out of Red Zachary. He tries to drag Red to his feet, but he's fighting back. Red hits Eric with a gut shot, then pulls on Eric's tights, ramming the top of his head into Manson's stomach! He hoists Manson up... Inverted Atomic Drop! Zachary bounces off the ropes... and drops Manson with a leaping Clothesline! He hooks the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Now both men are getting up, and Red swings at Eric, catching him with a clubbing fist to the side of the head. He grabs Manson, and catches him with a standing Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker! He picks up Manson, and Irish Whips him off the ropes. Zachary ducks down for a Backdrop... BUT RUNS INTO A DDT FROM ERIC MANSON!!!

Grumpy: That stung.

Dutch: Eric is signalling for the Silencer! He picks up Zachary, but Red surges at him, flipping over and catching him with a Schoolboy Rollup. Here's the count... 1.. 2.. 3!

Grumpy: What? Was that it?

Dutch: I think so. Rogers is calling for the bell, this match is over! Manson had the match well in hand, but the psycho Red just got the quick pinfall.

Grumpy: What a crock! Zachary pulled off the sleaziest of wins.

Dutch: He pinned him!

Grumpy: Exactly. He's a subversive, he is.

Dutch: Hang on! Leo Kirk has just rolled into the ring with a chair... AND NAILS ZACHARY ACROSS THE BACK WITH IT! Kirk is stomping the hell out of Zachary, and Eric is just watching. Kirk yells at him to get involved, and now both men are beating on the downed anarchist.

Grumpy: That's what he gets for pinning somebody. Sheesh.

Dutch: Leo Kirk drags Zachary to his feet... AND TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!! Kirk shouts at Eric, and both of them head out to ringside. Kirk picks up Zachary... AND IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE!

Grumpy: It looks like Eric Manson is getting into the act now. He's picking up the steel ringsteps!

Dutch: As Kirk continues to kick and stomp on the downed Red Zachary, Eric Manson drops the ringsteps down in front of Red.

[The two jam Zachary up against the steel guardrail, on his side. Leo Kirk jumps over the guardrail to the crowd side, and braces his weight against the guardrail. Eric Manson shoves the ringsteps tight up against Red Zachary's face. Then, with the crowd egging him on further, heads into the ring.]

Dutch: What the hell are they doing?

Grumpy: They are fucking up Zachary, that's what. These guys may be smarter than we give them credit. Man, these fans are sick.

Dutch: Zachary is in trouble here!

Grumpy: No. You don't say.

[Eric Manson heads to the far corner and charges across the ring. He Baseball Slides out of the ring, Dropkicking into the side of the steel steps.]

Dutch: HE JUST SLAMMED THOSE STEPS INTO RED ZACHARY'S FACE!!! HOLY SHIT!

[The fans chants echo those of Dutch's.]

Dutch: Manson looks down at the bloody figure of Red Zachary, and now he and his tag partner are leaving. Oh man, Red Zachary's face has been destroyed! Zachary is rolling around the floor, holding his face as blood streams through his fingers!

Grumpy: I think we need some security down here. Immediately.

[There is a brief few moments of chaos before the show cuts to a pre-taped segment.]

ob·ses·sion \Ob*ses"sion\, n. (L. obsessio: cf.F. obsession.) 1: Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety. 2: an unhealthy preoccupation with something or someone (syn: fixation)

Sometimes one thought, one idea can totally dominate your mind.

[The scene is dark as we hear one slow, measured exhalation. The visual slowly fades in as we see Gabriel Blade staring at his own reflection in a locker room mirror. His face is mixed with so many emotions, it's difficult to say what exactly he is feeling. Although so much else is clearly there, the only emotion clear in his eyes is nervousness. The visual fades out, and we are again engulfed in darkness.]

One thought can come to be your entire focus, everything else can be shut out. Some call this determination. It can make you strong. It can help you do what needs to be done.

[The scene fades in again. Gabe is leaning against the bathroom counter of the locker room, partially supporting his weight with his arms as he stares into the mirror. He lets out another long, controlled breath as the scene fades out again.]

Obsession can fuel you, it can give you what it takes to accomplish great things. It can make you a hero.

[Gabe steps away from the mirror as the scene fades in. He breathes deeply, trying to maintain control, and rolls his head from side to side.]

Obsession can be a great ally. But it can also be a great enemy.

[Gabe is sitting on a folding chair in the locker room proper, his hands over his face. He sighs as he slides his hands back through his hair, then begins cracking his neck, and tapping his foot impatiently]

Determination can be too much. Obsession can grow too quickly...

[Gabe continues to tap his foot impatiently before jumping up and pacing, walking back and forth across the room. He stops pacing and jumps gently from foot to foot, warming himself up.]

Having only one reason, only one purpose, it can be trying on the mind. With nothing else to stop it, one thought can grow unchecked, it can consume you.

[We see a close up of Gabe's face. The shot seems to be in slow motion as Gabe's eyes blink shut and we hear one word whispered through his mind, "Dagon..."]

It's a difficult balancing act, a thin line to walk. Determination and obsession are close bed fellows. A young superstar now walks that line. On one side lies greatness and legend, on the other, total destruction. Which will come for Gabriel Blade? Only time will tell...

[Gabe is once again pacing, his breath heavy, his hands twitching. He looks like a caged animal, he looks like he's ready to snap. He stops suddenly, his eyes darting back and forth, he looks like he's torn between two courses of action, fighting to reconcile them and make a decision. After a moment, Gabe storms forward, throwing the door open and charging out of the room, the door slams shut behind him.]

Gabriel Blade has a date with destiny. One way or another, he will get his hands on the man that has been racing through his thoughts almost without pause since the debut of UWS Blackened. The question is, will Gabe be able to channel his obsession into the drive to do what must be done, or will he explode before he even gets his chance?

[The scene fades back in for one more shot of the now empty lockerroom. In the distance, Gabe's shouts for Dagon can barely be heard, then fade away entirely as the distance grows.]

Judgement Day is Coming...

[The video begins to fade as the words, "Sentinel VS Anti-Sentinel: UWS Hollycaust" appear on the screen.]

[The show cuts backstage, where Red Zachary, a bloody towel covering his face, is being stretchered into an ambulance. Craig Lassiter is looking on, shaking his head in disbelief. Marcus Ash comes up behind him, and taps him on the shoulder. Craig jumps, then settles when he sees that it's Ash.]

Lassiter: Jesus, don't do that.

Reaper: What's the matter? Scared of Dagon?

Lassiter: (pointing to the ambulance) Did you see that shit?

Reaper: Yeah, very impressive. I didn't think Manson and Kirk had it in them.

[The ambulance screams out of the doors, sirens wailing.]

Lassiter: Well, from what the attendants told me, Zachary will be lucky to ever wrestle again. As it stands, he'll need some pretty massive facial reconstructive surgery.

Reaper: So?

Lassiter: So... apart from the obvious, we just lost another wrestler. Who are we gonna fit into his slot in the tag tournament? And don't say, Gary Frat.

Reaper: Just leave it to me.

[The show cuts to a lockeroom, where Archangel and Crusader are sitting. Crusader has the cuts on his head bandaged, and Archangel is soaking his hand in a bowl of ice water. Both are watching the show on a small monitor.]

Archangel: Shouldn't you have done something? He is your partner, afterall.

[Crusader just shrugs. Then, Marcus Ash walks into the room.]

Reaper: Archangel, you're taking Zachary's place in the tournament. I don't want to hear any arguments out of either of you. Sage, you've got a match in two minutes, so you'd better get ready.

[Crusader starts to say something, but stops. He turns towards the camera, and makes a dart at it, ripping off the attached microphone. Crusader begins to speak, but the conversation is silent. After a few seconds, the show cuts back to ringside, where Aspen Sandstrum is waiting patiently in the ring.]

Grumpy: What was that all about?

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, from New York City, and weighing in at 241 lbs... FLASHBACK!!!

["Lose Yourself" by Eminem begins playing in a low hum as it gradually takes over the whole arena. The lights begin to dim and a barrage of green and gold lasers begin writing something in the middle of the ring: Flashback. As they finish writing the name, a large flash blinds the arena and the pyros explode in the entranceway. Out comes Flashback walking in his usual assertive stride towards the ring. His face ever easy going, confidence fills his eyes as he makes his way down the aisle. With a small graceful hop he enters the ring and waits for the match to begin.]

Dutch: Both Flashback, and Crusader have signed OWF contracts this week, along with Stu Price.

Grumpy: So?

Dutch: So, they are officially on the roster. This stuff is important.

Grumpy: Yeah, like anybody cares.

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Seattle, Washington, and weighing in at 278 lbs... ARTHUR "CRUSADER" SAGE!!!

[Crusader steps out through the entrance curtain to silence. He pauses for a second, then charges the ring.]

Dutch: Crusader dives into the ring, but Flashback is there! He drops an Ax-handle chop across Crusader's back, but Sage just barrels into him, Spearing him to the mat! He starts firing punches at Flashback, who is struggling to fight back! Rogers looks like he's going to step in, but changes his mind. Flashback manages to roll over, forcing Crusader to the mat, and now he's got the upper hand. He starts hurling punches at Crusader, and this is nothing but a brawl!

Grumpy: Well, Crusader is pissed after that unprovoked attack earlier tonight. But he's just mad about something anyway. Regardless, Flashback gets to be the target for that agression.

Dutch: Crusader locks both hands around Flashy's throat! And Flashback does the same! They are rolling around the mat, trying to choke each other out! Again Rogers looks like he's going to step in, but decides to just shout at them a bit.

Grumpy: These fans like it.

Dutch: They are rolling around, and finally roll clean out of the ring! Crusader landed on Flashy, and now he's beating the hell out of Flashback! Rogers bails out of the ring, and tries to pull Crusader off him, but Sage won't have it. Rogers pulls him up off Flashback... BUT CRUSADER HURLS HIM INTO THE BARRICADE! He turns back to Flashback, who just grabbed something from a fan... AND WALKS INTO A FACEFULL OF COKE!!! Crusader's temporarily blinded, but it gives Flashback enough time to Shoulderblock him into the ringpost!

Grumpy: Temporarily blinded? Coke is caustic acid! He'll be lucky if his face doesn't melt off. Who the hell drinks this shit, anyway?

Dutch: I take it you don't.

Grumpy: Nah, I'm a Pepsi man myself. Much healthier.

Dutch: Flashback has Crusader pinned against the ringpost, and he's throwing punches at Sage. Both men's faces and knuckles are blood red, and Crusader's cuts have been re-opened, staining red through the bandages. Rogers is calling for the bell!

Dutch: Well, this match is over, but both men are still beating the hell out of each other. Ring security is trying to separate them, but they are like junkyard dogs tearing at each other. Well, they definitely got their fight, but they didn't get their resolution.

Grumpy: This isn't over, you can bet on that.

[The show cuts to a dark room backstage. There, OWF commissioner Cid, is hanging by his feet over a large area of broken glass. Marcus Ash is waving his shotgun in the direction of Cid's nose.]

Cid: I'm sorry, Ash. It's this dang Internet. I ordered the plane tickets over the internet, and accidentally selected the wrong place. I mean, who would have thought that there would be 2 St. Johns so close to each other.

Reaper: St. John's, Newfoundland is not St. John, New Brunswick.

Cid: But, you can understand my mixup, can't you?

[Ash looks at Cid, his face almost as red as some sections of his plaid jacket.]

Reaper: Do you know how stupid you made me look, Cid? The entire OWF failing to show up at a show. It's unprecedented. Johnny Lassiter told me to fire you, and he's probably right.

Cid: Oh, please don't fire me! Give me another chance, please!

Reaper: Cid, I don't know how many chances you've had, but this is the last one. Your duties will have to be... modified.

[Ash turns to leave.]

Cid: Um, aren't you going to cut me down?

Reaper: I'll be back after the main event. Sit tight, dipshit.

[The show cuts to ringside, where the lovely Aspen Sandstrum is waiting in the ring.]

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, from Lewisporte, Newfoundland, and weighing in at 350 lbs... BIG BAD DAVE SNOW!!!

[Suddenly a voice comes over the Syni-tron... WWWWEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, WELL IT’S THE BIG SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[This suddenly changes to "The Zoo" By Bruce Dickinson as the fat bastard himself, Big Bad Dave Snow saunters onto the entrance ramp with a smirk the size of texas. The fans boo him as he makes an effort to show off his black attire, more over his shirt that says "I killed the SWWF". He then laughs to himself and makes his way to the ring.]

Dutch: Well, we've been told that the catwalks have been scoured for snipers, so Snow will have to fight this match for himself. He's getting a pretty nasty search from Rogers in that ring now.

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring from this time, from Darlington, England, and weighing in at 240 lbs... STU-E PRICE!!!

[The arena goes absolutely pitch black for a few moments. A single spotlight appears and flashes around the arena before coming to a halt, right at the Syni-tron. Still in silence, it begins to come to life with the sound of a heartbeat ticking over and over as a few words appear on the screen.]

[A large explosion of pyrotechnics go off, and with that a large record scratch is heard; Bodyrock by Moby plays out through the speakers. Stu-E walks through the curtain, when he does a massive blue and white laser show kicks off as he slowly walks to ringside, stopping halfway. Stu looks around the arena before raising both arms in the air and running to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope. When inside the ring he goes to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle and waves to the crowd before sitting on the top turnbuckle.]

Dutch: Stu jumps off the turnbuckle, and is ready to face the big man.

Dutch: They lock up... and Snow goes down to one knee! Waitaminute, he's dropping to the canvas! What's going on here?

[Stu backs off, looking very confused as DI Rogers steps in to check on Snow.]

Dutch: I'm not sure what's going on. Rogers is talking to Snow, who looks to be in pretty bad pain, and he's clutching his chest.

Grumpy: It's all those MacDonald's fajitas, I tell ya.

Dutch: This looks serious. Rogers is calling for the bell! UWS security is heading for the ring.

Grumpy: It's gonna take the whole team to drag Snow out of that ring.

Dutch: Fans, I'm sorry but this match is over.

Grumpy: Another friggin no contest? This is starting to feel like Nitro.

[The UWS ring team quickly load up Snow, and carrying him out of the ring on two stretchers. The cameras follow them down the entrance ramp to the backstage area, where another ambulance is waiting. They load Dave Snow into the ambulance and close the doors, just as Marcus Ash storms into the area.]

Reaper: What the hell's going on?

[Doc Andrews is there with the remainder of the security team.]

Doc Andrews: Looks like a heart attack.

[The ambulance pulls out, and Dave Snow can be seen through the window, eating a donut. He waves the donut at Ash as the vehicle pulls out of the arena.]

Reaper: Who the hell was driving that ambulance? That looked like the Firk'n Scot!

[Ash turns around in a fluster, walking right into Crusader, who was standing in an alcove.]

Reaper: What are you doing back here?

[Crusader just walks off, ignoring Ash.]

Reaper: Can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on?!

[The show cuts back to ringside, where Stu Price is pacing around the ring, posing for the crowd.]

Grumpy: What the hell was Crusader doing back there? And was that the Firk'n Scot driving the ambulance?

Dutch: Most importantly, what flavor was that donut.

Grumpy: Shut up. Well, I guess Snow faked the heart attack to get out of his match. But Reaper...

[In the ring, Stu requests a microphone.]

Price: Thank you, thank you. It's a shame you won't be able to see me in action, but maybe next time.

[Then, a voice is heard over the arena speakers.]

Voice: I've got some time to kill, Stu-E. Care to test Perfection?

[In Thorn's voice we hear the word "Ultimate" over the sound system as a spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp to a waiting Thorn. "Model" is spoken the same way as another spotlight hits him from a different angle, and Thorn raises his arms in acceptance of the appreciation the fans must have for him. "Of" is heard as a third spotlight shines down on the man with the million-dollar smile. "Perfection" sounds in Thorn's voice as a fourth and final spotlight engulfs Thorn. Suddenly "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool plays over the sound system and all four spotlights follow Thorn down the entrance ramp. On the Syni-tron we see images of Thorn in his glory, hitting the Double Take, flashing his "million dollar" smile, women hanging off of both arms, and then a closeup of the arrogant face. Thorn takes his time walking down the entrance ramp, letting his music play through. Once in the ring he flashes his "million dollar" smile once again, the music fades, and the lights come back on.]

Dutch: Now what's going on?

Grumpy: The guys in the truck are telling us that this is official. Is Thorn booking his own matches now?

Dutch: Stu looks a little confused, but he's going with it. Thorn does a few jumping kicks that force Stu-E to take a few steps back, then the two lock up. Stu applies a Side Headlock on the ultimate model of perfection... and tussels Thorn's hair! Thorn struggles to get out of the move, but Stu holds on! Thorn grabs Stu-E by the waist, and lifts him up for a Back Suplex! Thorn keeps the waistlock... ROLLING GERMAN SUPLEX BY THORN! AND ANOTHER!!! Thorn still holds on, and hoists Price again... WITH ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX! Thorn bridges back, and here's the cover... 1... 2... 3! Is it over? Yes, Rogers is calling for the bell!

Grumpy: Well, Stu should have known better than to mess with the man's hair.

[Thorn bails out of the ring, and grabs a camera from a female fan at ringside. He looks into the lens and fixes his hair with his free hand. Once it is perfect again, Thorn smiles, and takes a picture of himself with the camera. He hands it back to the fan, who nearly faints after receiving it.]

Dutch: Stu-E Price is back up in the ring, but Thorn is already leaving. Thorn definitely caught him off-guard in that ring.

Grumpy: We don't know what company he's working for yet, but Thorn is building an impressive winning streak in the UWS.

[The show cuts to a commercial. When it returns, Ryan Lockheart and Aspen Sandstrum are seated at ringside, chatting. Aspen is laughing and playing with her hair as Ryan is apparently recreating some football victory from his College days. Then, Ryan glances at the camera, and bolts up from his seat. He grabs a microphone, and quickly climbs into the ring.]

Lockheart: Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the vacant LWA Division Title. Coming to the ring at this time, from Las Vegas, Nevada, and weighing in at 235 lbs... EDMUND PAINE II!!!

[The spotlights on the entrance way seem to brighten for a moment before dimming to near darkness. The playfully brassy sound of "Death or Glory" sounds as a large man wearing a nicely tailored black suit emerges from the back. He pauses at the entrance, soaks in his surroundings, and then proceeds to walk several feet before he stops. He crosses his massive arms on his large, barrel chest and glares disdainfully out into the crowd. Moments later, a much physically smaller man emerges from the back. Two spotlights home in on the man and reveal him to the crowd as the words "The Duke of Paine" appear on the Syni-tron. The "Duke of Paine" makes his way slowly towards the ring dressed in a beautifully tailored black suit, white dress shirt, and silver tie. As the "Duke" walks by on his way to the ring, his larger companion follows. Stopping at ringside, the two men pause as Mr. Paine removes his jacket, tie and cufflinks and hands them over to his companion. As he ascends the steps leading into the ring, Mr. Paine undoes several of the upper buttons on his shirt as well as rolls up each of his sleeves.]

Lockheart: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England, and weighing in at 232 lbs... LEE F'N' TODD!!!

[The lights in the arena dim as Sweet Child of Mine rips through the arena, dry ice fills the aisle as Lee F'n' Todd steps through the curtain a bottle of brown ale held high above his head in his left hand. A two fingered salute on his right. Strolling down the aisle he's followed by a trench coat clad Lola. Making a slow march to the ring he hops up on the apron knocks back his ale before handing the bottle to Lola. Climbing through the middle rope he pauses like an agitated Lion.]

Gallivan: Well, fans, we are back. The OWF seems to be dominating this show, but it's time for some real action, LWA style. This is the event we've been waiting for. Jim, what do you have to say about this contest?

Jim: Paine's a fruit.

Gallivan: Well thought out, Jim. What happened to the Jim Browski that wanted to be a better color commentator?

Jim: The same thing that happened to the Jim Browski who was struggling to maintain a Scottish accent all show. I got bored with it.

Gallivan: Well, this was originally supposed to be Gabriel Blade against Todd, but everyone saw what happened to Gabe earlier tonight. But, as replacements go, Edmund Paine is a pretty good choice. I've heard some good things about him from his work in FHW.

Jim: Where'd you hear that? In the restrooms?

Gallivan: Please, Jim. Todd is a little hesitant to lock up. It's strange to see him walk to the ring without his LWA/Beast World Title, but he's got his eyes set on the LWA Division Title now. They lock up, and Paine pulls off an Armbar. Lee fires off a punch to the face, but Paine holds on. Lee stomps on Paine's foot... and reverses the armbar into an Armdrag! He drops onto Paine for the lateral press, but the Hardcore Princess brings up both Knees hard into the ribs of Todd! Now, Paine hooks Todd by the back of the head, and rolls him over into a Small Package... 1.. 2... Kickout by Todd!

Jim: You know, this should be the main event. Nobody wants to see Hoser, Archangel, and Tremere in the ring together. Our last quarter hour is gonna suck.

Gallivan: In the ring, they lock up again and Lee locks a Front Facelock on Paine. Speaking of Hoser, his tag team partner Shane Brandon is nowhere to be seen tonight. We all expected to see Todd and Brandon go at it for this belt, but Shane had other plans. Paine tries to lift Todd off the mat, but Lee repositions his weight to stop it. Now, Paine just pushes Lee into the corner. Todd is still cranking down on that Front Facelock, but Julio Suave is calling for the break. Todd raises his hands to break... AND BRINGS A KNEE UP INTO THE FACE OF EDMUND PAINE!

Jim: Yeah!

Gallivan: Paine crumpled after that nasty shot, and Lee hits him with a Kneedrop across the face.

Jim: Whooo!

Gallivan: Hey, you're not supposed to Whooo after a kneedrop, just chops.

Jim: I'll Whooo whenever I want to. You have no power over my Whooos. I'll Whooo during irish whips if I feel like it.

Gallivan: I get it, Jim. Lee drops onto Paine, and hooks both legs! He's got all of his weight on Paine's upper torso, and Julio drops for the count... 1... 2... Kickout by Paine!

Jim: I'm sure Paine would have preferred all of Lee's weight on his lower torso, but that's another story.

Gallivan: Both men scramble to their feet, and Lee fires off a Kick at Paine, but he catches his leg! Dragon Screw Legwhip by Edmund Paine! Paine grabs Lee by the leg, and tries to lock on a Figure-four Leglock!

Jim: Whooo!

Gallivan: Hang on, Paine tries to lock it in, but Lee grabs him by the hair for a Small Package of his own! 1... 2... Kickout! These guys are trying to end this one quickly. We've seen a couple of quick wins tonight, and both men realize they are just 3 seconds away from the Hollycaust main event. They get back to their feet, and here's the collar and elbow tieup. Both men are struggling for control in there. Paine breaks free, and hits Todd with a Standing Dropkick! Lee gets back up, but runs into another Standing Dropkick! Again, he gets up, and Paine fires another Dropkick... but Lee steps out of harm's way as Paine lands on the mat! Lee grabs both of Paine's feet... AND STOMPS HIM IN THE GROIN!

Jim: That'll teach him to be fashionable.

Gallivan: Julio is admonishing Lee Todd in that ring, and he's threatening to disqualify Todd. The LWA Division Title is vacant, so a win in any fashion will determine the new champion. So Lee... waitaminute! What the hell?

[The crowd, who were enjoying the current match, cheer even louder as Gabriel Blade stumbles through the entrance curtain.]

Gallivan: It's the Sentinel! He's limping terribly, but this kid is actually headed to the ring!

Jim: Too late. We've already got a match. Jeez, the LWA is becoming as bad as the OWF for messing around with matches. (yelling at no one in particular) Stick to the script, people!

Gallivan: In the ring, Lee Todd takes the opportunity to ram his shin down into the throat of Paine, and he's choking him! But Julio is addressing Gabriel Blade, who is climbing into the ring!

Jim: Julio's trying to get him out of the ring, as he should.

Gallivan: But Gabe was supposed to be in this match. Craig Lassiter just assumed that he wouldn't make it. He has every right to be in this match. Lee Todd is up, and heads across the ring... BUT GABE NAILS HIM WITH A SPEAR!!! He drops onto Todd, and starts firing punches at him!

Jim: That's it! Disqualify Paine for this attack! Todd is the champ! Todd is the champ!

Gallivan: Gabe is taking out all his agression for Dagon on Lee Todd! He's raining punches down on Todd! Finally, Julio forces Gabe off Todd. He's still trying to get him out of the ring. Todd struggles back to his feet. Paine is still trying to get his breath back in the corner. Gabe shoves Julio out of the way, and boots Todd in the stomach! He grabs the F'n' one... AND HITS HIM WITH A BRAINBUSTER!!!

Jim: You can see that every ounce of weight Gabe puts on that leg is hurting him, but he's running on pure adrenalin.

Gallivan: Gabe drops onto Todd, and hooks the leg! 1... 2... 3... 4...! But, Julio is refusing to count! Gabe pushes himself back to his feet, and grabs Julio by the shirt! Waitaminute, Paine is back up. He comes up behind Gabe... and hooks on a Schoolboy Rollup! 1... 2... No! Still no count from Julio! Both men struggle to get to their feet, and Gabe catches Paine... URINAGE ON PAINE!!!

Jim: Hold on, Todd is heading up to the top rope!

Gallivan: We saw this in his match against Paco. Lee heads off the top... FLYING KNEEDROP ONTO GABRIEL BLADE!!! Todd showed incredible timing on that move, catching Gabe across the forehead just as he rolled over. But, it looks like Lee hurt his knee on that move. Hang on, fans. I'm being told by the boys in the truck that this match is officially a triangle match. No elimination. The first man to score a win will become the LWA champion.

Gallivan: In the ring, Gabe is hurt, and Lee is holding his knee. Hang on, Paine is up. He looks at both men, then goes for Lee. Paine grabs him... POOR MAN'S FOLLY ON LEE TODD!!! Julio is checking on Lee Todd, and Paine could very well become a champion in his first ever LWA match. Hang on, Gabriel Blade rolls over and starts firing punches at the face of Edmund Paine! Paine releases the chinlock portion of his finisher, and covers up. Now, he and Gabe are trading punches on the canvas! He's still got that Leglock on Todd, but Lee is trying to pull himself towards the ropes.

Jim: I don't know what is going on tonight, but every wrestler seems to be wrestling as if it was their last ever match. They are throwing everything they've got into every move.

Gallivan: Todd reaches the ropes, and Julio calls for Paine to break the hold. He does, but he's still sparring with Gabriel Blade on the mat. Now, Paine grabs Gabe by the hair... and pops him in the face with a Forearm shot! He rolls Gabe over, and hooks his good leg... 1... 2... No! Lee Todd got to his feet and pulled Paine off by his feet! Paine regains his vertical base, and Todd starts firing punches at him. Paine ducks under a punch and cinches Todd... REVERSE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! He goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout by Todd!

Jim: That was close.

Gallivan: As Gabe struggles to his feet... EDMUND PAINE CINCHES THE TESTICULAR CLAW ON LEE TODD!!!

Jim: That's the Plumjuggler, and that move might work in FHW, but in the LWA we have rules against that sort of thing. This ain't some social club.

Gallivan: Julio starts to put a count on Paine, but Gabe shoves him out of the way... AND APPLIES A MANDIBLE CLAW ON EDMUND PAINE!!!

Jim: That's the Gateway to Eternity, and this is like some sort of deviant Daisy Chain!

Gallivan: Paine still has the Plumjuggler applied, and Julio is very confused in that ring.

Jim: He's an old man, what else is new?

Gallivan: Hang on! Lee Todd just reached up and drove a fist right into the groin of the Sentinel! Gabe crumples, releasing Gateway to Eternity, and Julio shoves Paine off Todd, breaking the Plumjuggler. All three men are in extreme pain in there. Julio starts to put a count on them.

Jim: He can't count all three men out! The LWA needs someone to send to the unification match!

Gallivan: Gabe has rolled into a corner, and despite his coughing fit, is trying to pull himself up via the ring ropes. Lee Todd has curled up in the fetal position, but Edmund Paine is actually the first one back to his feet! He grabs Lee's legs... AND STOMPS HIM IN THE GROIN!

Jim: Turnabout is fair play, but this is rediculous! It's becoming a groin-fest in there. And not in the way that Paine likes.

Gallivan: Paine ignores the warnings from Julio and drops onto Todd with the Lateral Press... 1... 2... NO! Lee Todd kicked out a leg onto the bottom rope at the last second! Paine drags him to his feet, and hits Todd with a Knife-edge chop! Well?

Jim: Well, what?

Gallivan: No Whooo?

Jim: Like I said, only I control my Whooos.

Gallivan: Paine hits Todd with another Chop! And another! Now, he boots Todd in the stomach... Fisherman Suplex by Edmund Paine!!! Julio is right there to make the count... 1... 2... NO! Gabriel Blade leapt across the ring to break up the count! Now, Gabe grabs Paine by the hair, and starts pounding him in the head! He Irish Whips Paine off the ropes... Paine ducks under a Clothesline attempt by the Sentinel, and heads off the far ropes... FLYING CROSS CHOP BY PAINE!!! He damn near took Sentinel's head off on that one, and now Paine is dragging himself across the ring towards Gabe. He hooks the leg, and this could do it... 1... 2... NO! Kickout by the Sentinel! Paine is slow to get up, but he's still in this. Sentinel gets up even slower, and Paine grabs him by the wrists!... WRISTLOCK NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! This is it! Julio dives across the ring and here's the count... 1... 2... NO! Yes! No! Lee Todd came out of nowhere to fire off a low Dropkick to the head of Edmund Paine. Now, he grabs Sentinel's legs, and flips over into a pin... 1... 2... Kickout by Gabriel Blade!

Jim: Unbelievable!

Gallivan: Todd signals for the Fuck-U! He drags Gabe back to his feet, and turns him over for the Hangman's Neckbreaker... BUT GABE REVERSES IT INTO A BACKSLIDE! 1... 2... NO! Todd slid out of it at the last second!

Jim: Stupendous.

Gallivan: Edmund Paine is up, but Lee doesn't see him. Lee reaches down for Gabe, but Paine grabs him from behind... COBRA CLUTCH BY PAINE!!! Lee is waving his arms, trying to break out of this, but Paine has it locked on tight. Hold on, Sentinel is getting back to his feet. COBRA CLUTCH SLAM ON LEE BY PAINE!!! Paine just dropped Lee, and made a beeline for the winded Sentinel. He grabs him by the head... Double Knee to the Face by Paine! That knocked Gabe back into the corner.

Jim: Awesome, breathtaking, astounding.

Gallivan: Thank you, Mr. Thesaurus. Paine follows him in, nailing another Knife-edge Chop!

Jim: Whooo!

Gallivan: Now you Whooo?

Jim: Now's the time to Whooo.

Gallivan: Another Chop by Paine... and another! Waitaminute! Gabe steps out of the corner, and hurls Paine in there! Knife-edge Chop by the Sentinel! And another! And another! The crowd is behind every move by the Sentinel. Paine takes a wild swing at Gabe, but he ducks, and hoists him for an Atomic Drop... but deposits him on the top turnbuckle instead! Now, Gabe follows him up! He hits Paine with a clubbing Forearm across the back of the head! And now he's trying to cinch him up for a Back Suplex off the top!

Jim: Hold on, here comes Lee.

Gallivan: Lee Todd is back up, and just charges into the corner... Dropkicking Gabe in the back! Lee reaches up, and grabs Paine by the hair... and Gabe! Both men are on the second rope and facing the crowd... DOUBLE FUCK U BY LEE TODD OFF THE SECOND ROPE!!!

Jim: Sweet Zombie Jesus!!!

Gallivan: The crowd absolutely erupted, and rightly so. Paine and Gabe are lying in a heap on the mat, and Lee drags Sentinel away from the ropes. He drops down for the cover, hooking the leg... 1... 2... 3!!! Julio calls for the bell, and this amazing match is over!

Jim: Lee Todd has done it again. You are looking at the man who will make history in two weeks time. The first ever unified champion, Lee Todd!

Gallivan: Very impressive debut by Edmund Paine, and it's a testament to Gabriel Blade that he even made it to the ring, let alone came so close to becoming the champ.

Gallivan: Lee Todd is given the brand new LWA Division Title by Julio Suave! He climbs out of the ring, and now he's taunting the fans with the belt.

Jim: Archangel, Hoser, Tremere... look out, because Lee Todd is a winner.

Gallivan: Todd isn't exactly a good winner, as... Hold on!

[Lee passes by a fan wearing a Shane Brandon T-shirt who spouts something at Lee, and Lee snaps. He leaps over the barricade and starts to fire punches into the head of the kid.]

Gallivan: What is he doing? Lee is attacking a fan!

[As security tries to step in, Lee rips the shirt clean off the fan's back, tearing it into several pieces in the process. Security pulls him away from the kid and Lee climbs back to the ring side of the security rail. Once there, he begins to polish the LWA Title with the shred of the Shane Brandon T-shirt. Lee spits on the shirt, polishes a little more, then tosses it into the crowd.]

Jim: Wow. That was a message if I've ever seen one.

Gallivan: Well, as Lee Todd finally leaves the ring, and Gabe and Paine are helped out, we are going to throw it to our OWF counterparts for the main event. One of these three men will be facing Lee Todd at Hollycaust, but which one?

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OWF Division Title. Coming to the ring at this time, from the Great White North, and weighing in at 235 lbs... HOSER!!!

[Hoser walks out through the entrance. Stands on the ramp, looks around for a minute, pulls a beer out of one of his pockets and shotguns it. Lights up a smoke. Cracks another beer, and makes his way to the ring. Finishes beer and cigarette while waiting for opponent to get to the ring.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Toledo, Ohio, and weighing in at 248 lbs... KURT TREMERE!!!

[The lights flicker out, and as the sound of wind fills the arena, a low blue light slowly lights the crowd. After a moment, a voice can be heard echoing through the PA.]

[The blue lights slowly grow a little brighter moment by moment.]

[At the end of the last line, the lights vanish and the arena is engulfed in darkness and silence..]

[As the scream is heard through the PA, 4 blue spotlights shine on the entrance, and "Superstar" by Saliva begins to blast out of the speakers, almost simaltaneosuly with a large pyro explosion on the ceiling and ramp. As the smoke clears, Kurt Tremere is standing in the middle of the entrance, looking over the crowd. The spotlights begin to strobe with the beat of the song, and they follow Kurt down the aisle as he begins to walk. Kurt ignores the crowd, not once even looking at them as he walks. The spotlights follow Kurt up the stairs and onto the apron where he wipes his feet, but then go out as he jumps over the ropes and into the ring. It's only dark in the arena for a moment, because on cue with the next loud beat of the song, more explosions go off, and as the lights come back on, Kurt Tremere is standing in the middle of the ring with his arms raised in the air, and what appears to be glass raining down on him. When the music and fireworks finally cease, Kurt walks over to the corner, lies on top of it ala Shawn Micheals, and adjusts his one elbow pad on his right arm.]

Aspen: And their opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, Hailing from Paradise, Pennsylvania... weighing in at 285 pounds... The Phenom... The reigning OWF Division Champion... HE... IS... ARCHANGEL!

[Archangel and Gabriel emerge from behind the curtain as images of his past matches appear on the Syni-tron. Archangel battling in the lowest cage in the Tower match that would decide his fate. Archangel battling back stage with Lee Todd while the whole company watched. Archangel smiling as he stares down the barrel of a shotgun only to see Ash with his finger on the trigger.]

[The two men begin to walk methodically down to the ring, a slight hint of a smile on each of their faces. Archangel and Gabriel glance to each side occasionally, looking to the crowd.]

[The two men reach the ring and climb the steps. Upon reaching the apron, Arachangel steps over the top rope. Archangel turns to the turnbuckle beside him. He steps up on the top turnbuckle and throws back his head as his arms are outstretched.]

[He drops down, moves to the opposite corner, and return to his pose atop the turnbuckle. The last video clip shows on the Syni-tron; Archangel kicking Drake Raynor off the top of the Tower and Drake falling 40 feet to his fate. Finally he drops down and sheds his trench coats and sunglasses, giving them to Gabriel who now stands outside the ring.]

Grumpy: These intros have been longer than most of our matches tonight.

Dutch: Well, this is for all the marbles. Rogers calls for the bell... and Archangel charges at Tremere! But, Tremere bails out of the ring! The reigning OWF champ bails out after him, and it's a footrace.

Grumpy: Well, Hoser's not getting involved. He's just waiting in the ring and finishing his beer.

Dutch: Rogers puts a count on them, and Tremere slides back into the ring, with Archy in pursuit. He turns around and stomps on Archangel as he climbs in through the ropes... hang on! Hoser grabs Kurt from behind, pinning his arms behind his back! Now, Archangel stands up... AND STARTS FIRING PUNCHES AT TREMERE! Kurt is trying to duck and weave, but he's completely defenseless!

Grumpy: Ooooh, that's one way out of it.

Dutch: Tremere just brought his heel up between the legs of Hoser, and he pulls his arms free. Kurt blocks a punch from Archangel... and hits him with an Elbow shot to the head! And another! Kurt goes for another, but Archangel returns fire with a nasty Forearm shot! He picks up Tremere... AND GORILLA SLAMS HIM TO THE MAT! Hoser is back up, and now both men pick up Tremere... and Irish Whip him into the turnbuckle! Tremere bounces out... HUGE DOUBLE BACKDROP ON TREMERE!

Grumpy: Incredible elevation.

Dutch: Archangel and Hoser turn to each other, both with their fists up!

Grumpy: They both wanted to get in the suckerpunch, but they were thinking too much alike.

Dutch: Thinking too much alike? Is english your first language? Hoser hits Archangel with a Haymaker, and Archy fires back one of his own. He hits Hoser with a Boot in the chest, then picks him up... AND GORILLA PRESSES HIM ONTO TREMERE!!! Rogers drops down for the count... 1... 2.. No! Archangel pulled Hoser off... and Irish Whipped him into the turnbuckle! Hoser slumps into the turnbuckle, and Archangel picks up Tremere... PUMP-HANDLE SLAM BY ARCHANGEL! He hooks the leg... 1... 2... No! Hoser stomped on Archangel to break the count! He grabs the champion, and jams his head between his legs... PILEDRIVER BY HOSER!!! Instead of going for the cover, Hoser is headed up top!

Grumpy: Tremere is slow to get up, but I think he's playing possum.

Dutch: Hoser dives off the top... NAILING ARCHANGEL WITH A TOP ROPE ELBOWSMASH! He hooks the champ's leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Tremere was just about to break the count, but Archy kicked out before he had the chance. Hoser gets back up, but Tremere is waiting on him... RUNNING ELBOW SMASH ON HOSER! Tremere hit him with that dubious padded elbow, and here's another cover... 1... 2.. NO! Hoser kicked out at the last second. Kurt is back up, but so is Archangel. Kurt charges him... but walks into a Fireman's Carry... No, Archangel doesn't drop him, and turns it into an Airplane Spin! He spins around several times, then heads for the corner, with Tremere still on his back! Archy climbs up to the second rope, showing incredible power... AND NAILS TREMERE WITH A SAMOAN DROP FROM THE SECOND ROPE!!! He hooks the leg... but Hoser boots Archangel in the head before a count of 1! Archangel gets back to his feet, but Hoser nails him with an overhead right! Archy hits him with a couple punches of his own, but Hoser grabs him around the waist! He Headbutts Archangel several times!... BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX BY HOSER! Hoser held on, and hooks the leg for the cover... 1... 2.. Kickout by Archangel!

Grumpy: These guys have been into the caffeine like all the rest tonight. Fast and furious, and that's the way I like it.

Dutch: Tremere is still down and out. Hoser drags the champ back to his feet, and he's signalling for the Beer Buster! He cinches Archangel's head, and underhooks his arms... but Archangel stands up, lifting Hoser onto his back! Archy still has his arms pinned back, but Hoser is upside down... AND ARCHANGEL JUST DROPPED TO HIS ASS, SLAMMING HOSER DOWN ON HIS HEAD!!!

Grumpy: That was a kind of reverse piledriver... I guess.

Dutch: Archangel is winded in there, but he's got the presence of mind to go for the cover... 1... 2... NO! Hoser got his shoulder up! Archangel drags him back to his feet, and shoves him into the turnbuckle. He fires off a couple of jabs to Hoser's ribs... then lifts him up onto the turnbuckle! Archangel climbs up after him, but Hoser's fighting back! He hits Archangel with a European Uppercut that nearly knocks him off his perch! Hoser stands up on the top rope, and now both men are jostling for position on the top. Archangel blocks a punch by Hoser, and hits one of his own! He tries to hook Hoser for a Superplex, but Hoser holds on! Archangel brings a knee up into the chest of Hoser... THEN LIFTS HIM FOR A SUPERPLEX!!! Both men thunder to the canvas, and neither one of them is moving. Rogers puts the count on all three men, but Tremere is the first one up. He looks completely out of it as he drags himself back to his feet, and slumps into a corner. Hang on! Archangel rolls over onto Hoser, and that's a cover... 1... 2... NO! Again, Hoser got a shoulder up!!

Grumpy: He didn't leave much time there. Archangel nearly had him there.

Dutch: The OWF champion is slowly getting to his feet, and he's trying to drag Hoser up as well. He hurls Hoser off the ropes... SPINEBUSTER BY ARCHANGEL!!! Instead of going for the cover, he stands up and grabs Hoser by the feet... AND APPLIES A SHARPSHOOTER!!! Rogers is there to check on Hoser, who is in a world of hurt. Waitaminute! K KLASS KILLER OUT OF NOWHERE BY TREMERE!!! He came out of that corner, and Superkicked Archangel in the temple, knocking him flat. Tremere drops onto Hoser, and folds him up! 1... 2... he's got a handful of the ropes... 3!!! That's it!

Grumpy: What? Holy crap!

Dutch: The wildcard has done it! Kurt Tremere bails out of the ring the second the bell rings, and he's got the OWF Division title! These fans are booing, but Tremere is holding that belt up high as he flees from ringside!

Grumpy: We've got a new champion! That means Tremere versus Todd at Hollycaust!

[The show cuts backstage, where Kurt Tremere is rushing through hallways. Zeke tries to stop him for an interview, but he pushes past him. Tremere is laughing wildly as he pokes his head in his dressing room door.]

Tremere: Flashy! Come on!

[Seeing no one, Tremere grabs his bag of gear and continues to head down the hallway to one of the arena exits. He steams out of the exit door, and starts heading through the near parking lot. Kurt gets to a rental car and starts to fumble around in his bag for the keys.]

Todd: Looking for these?

[Tremere turns to see Lee Todd behind him. Todd throws a set of keys at Tremere, distracting him, then hits him with a Shoulderblock, knocking him into the side of the car.]

Dutch: It's Lee Todd! Todd and Tremere! I can't believe it!

[The scene fades and Todd and Tremere tussle on the parking lot. It cuts to a small room in the arena, where Cid is still hanging by his feet.]

Cid: Hello? Reaper? Anybody?

[Cid's eyes begin to close, as he slowly swings back and forth above the field of broken glass.]

Cid: My brain hurts.

[fade to black]