[A commercial for the Sealab 2021 mega-blockbuster action flick "Tinfins" goes off the air and the screen goes black. It is replaced after a few seconds by a warning screen.]

"The following program contains scenes of violence, coarse language, sexual scenes, offensive images, racial stereotypes, mature delicacies, drug use, anarchistic behavior, at least one thinly veiled reference to homosexuality (see if you can spot it!), and large unruly men in tight spandex. Viewer discretion is strongly advised."

"No, we mean it. These guys are seriously messed up in the head. It's not their fault. They all come from broken homes... especially Eric."

[As the warning fades, the show cuts backstage where Tumbler is walking round with a huge smile on his face as he looks down at the GHITW title. As he walks along not looking where he's going he bumps in to Damon Lister and drops his title on the floor.]

Tumbler: Hey what do you think your doing? You've got my belt all dirty now this will not do.

[Tumbler picks up the belt and looks at it as if it's been soiled.]

Lister: Here I'm sorry let me do something about that.

[Lister pulls a polish out of his tool belt and begins to polish Tumbler's belt as Tumbler looks adgitated. Almost as if he wanted a fight with somebody. Lister hands Tumbler back his belt and the two part ways.]

[This is replaced by the Blackened logo, as a cover version of "Blackened" starts up, followed by clips from the previous episode. The first shows Gabriel Blade beating Edmund Paine and hoisting the OWF Division Title over his head after the match. The rather dubious end of the tag team title match is shown as Stu Price submits to a thumblock from Curtis Slamm. This is followed by a clip of Lee turning his back on Stu, who threatens to hit him with one of the tag titles, but eventually relents. Another clip shows Dake Ken attacking Tumbler with a cricket bat and stealing the Hardcore Title. A quick shot is shown of Shane Brandon holding an interview with Hoss Titan beside him. This cuts to show Lee Todd beating the hell out of Ken Holbrook, and hitting him with the Fuck U. The last few clips are from the hardcore brawl between Brian Thorn and Sin, ending with the flash of light as Thorn catches a live wire from the ceiling.]

[The show cuts to a span of the raucous Seattle crowd, who are cheering and waving signs. "I'm with Stupid", "Holbrook needs to be Judged", "Forgive me, I have Sinned!", "Krav will destroy the UWS", "Since when is Bronze Perfect?", "Lee Todd's my favorite drunk", "FHW Suckz!", and "FHW Rulez!" are all clearly seen before the show cuts to a backstage camera. UWS security are swarming around a figure lying on the ground. It appears to be Damon Lister. Donnie Rose, UWS Head of Production, is talking to a vendor who has a huge tray of cold beverages strapped to himself.]

Rose: (to vendor) What happened here?

Guy: I saw everything. Some guy in a torn up jean jacket attacked him with a lead pipe.

Rose: You didn't recognize this guy?

Guy: Nope. But he did have a drawing of a skull on the back of the jacket... looks like it was done with black magic marker.

[As Rose directs traffic backstage, the show cuts to a wide shot of the announce table.]

Gallivan: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Jim: Are you thinking about breasts?

Gallivan: No.

Jim: Then we aren't thinking the same thing.

Gallivan: Fans, welcome to another episode of the hottest show on TV, UWS Blackened. Damon Lister has been attacked backstage, but I'm not sure why.

Jim: It was Tumbler who did it, duh. We saw him talking to Lister at the beginning of the show.

Gallivan: But what about what the vendor said?

Jim: He's a beer vendor. He's obviously drunk!

Gallivan: Very astute, Mr. Monk.

Jim: Hey, I had a cousin whose last name was Monk.

Gallivan: What was his first name.

Jim: Chip.

Gallivan: I think you've set the bar unbelievably low here tonight, Jim. Fans, tonight will see the returning Hellfire take on the very troubled Curtis Slamm. Slamm did very well in the Iron Man, considering the fact that he came in late, but Hellfire is--

Jim: On fire!

Gallivan: I was going to say he's hungry.

Jim: Yeah, but fire... it's in his name!

Gallivan: I can already see tonight is going to be rough on yours truly, fans. We will also see Dake Ken, the new Hardcore champion, take on the newcomer known as "The Messenger."

Jim: This is a bit of a change, isn't it? Usually the Hardcore champ just shows up and throws some pots and pans around trying to hold onto his belt.

Gallivan: That's right. The Hardcore Title is not on the line in this match... because it's always on the line. But I think it goes without saying that the man who wins the match will have the best chance to walk away with the gold. In addition to that, Lee Todd--

Jim: The hardest working man in show business.

Gallivan: I thought that was James Brown?

Jim: Two people can be the hardest working man.

Gallivan: Logic would dictate otherwise, but I digress. Lee Todd will take part in a Triangle match against Gabriel Blade and Brian Thorn. Minus Tumbler, we will see all of the Iron Man medal winners tear it up in that ring at the same time. Then, as punishment for jumping ship to the OWF Division, Lee will have to face his old pal Stu-E Price for the LWA Division Title. We are just 2 weeks away from what the powers-that-be are calling our flagship pay-per-view, Fool's Gold III.

Jim: How can we have a Fool's Gold III, when we haven't had I or II?

Gallivan: Do you just show up to the production meetings just to sleep?

Jim: Pretty much.

Gallivan: The UWS incorporates both the OWF and the LWA. The LWA has had two big Fool's Gold events, and now the UWS is carrying on that tradition, much like the Iron Man.

Jim: Oh, I get it. Kinda like if the WWE changed one of their PPVs to Starrcade.

Gallivan: Exactly.

Jim: Can we go home now?

Gallivan: Jim, we haven't started yet.

Jim: Damn this temporal distortion. Wake me up in 2 hours.

Gallivan: Fans, before our first contest, we are going to head over to Zeke, who is with Sin.

[The show cuts backstage, where Sin is standing against a plain white wall, dwarfing Zeke who stands beside him with a microphone in hand.]

Zeke: Sin, you and Brian Thorn were involved in a brutal brawl at the last Blackened. Have you resolved anything, or will you face off with Thorn again at the pay-per-view?

[Sin looks into the camera and takes a deep breath. But before he can speak, there is a crash from offstage. The camera whips left to show Gabriel Blade pushing his way past a boom mic operator.]

Gabriel Blade: You think I've forgotten about what you did, Sin?

Sin: What I've done? You and all others have brought this pain upon yourselves.

Gabriel Blade: I'm talking about trying to drown my tag team partner, you freak!

[Zeke, having been around wrestling long enough to know, immediately dives away from Sin as Gabe charges him. The voices of the announcers cut in as Zeke's mic breaks into pieces upon hitting the floor.]

Gallivan: Gabe just hit Sin with a thunderous Clothesline, driving him back into the wall! Sin comes back with lefts and rights, but Gabe shrugs them off and starts firing punches of his own! Sin knocks Gabe back a few steps with some heavy shots... but Gabe boots him in the chest! He takes another step back, and charges in... SPEARING SIN THROUGH THE WALL!!!

Jim: Now this is a turnup for the books.

Gallivan: That was wasn't exactly made of the strongest material, but these two went through it like it was paper! The camera moves in to see Gabe pounding on Sin, who is down on the floor amidst the rubble! Now Gabe stands up, and reaches up to grab onto a pair of water pipes running across the ceiling. He does a chinup to lift himself up via the pipes... AND FALLS BACK ONTO SIN WITH A SENTON BOMB!!!

Jim: Man, he's pissed.

Gallivan: Well, for fans who missed it, Sin did drive a truck containing Mike Burke and Kurt Tremere into a lake, nearly drowning both men. Gabe staggers out of the homemade doorway, dust and chalk falling from him with each step. Gabe isn't usually one to attack someone backstage, but I think he's lost his patience for Sin's actions.

[The camera pulls in closer as Sin crawls out of the mess, spitting dust to the floor in front of him. He looks up at the disappearing form of Gabriel Blade and just stares at him.]

Sin: (whispering) Wrath.

[We're taken to another backstage area where everyones favourite face seems to be offering a little friendly advice to our antsy hardcore champion, Dake Ken.]

Todd: Woah buddy you need to be more careful you could do your self a serious injury.

Dake Ken: What?

Todd: Running around with your shoe lace untied your gambling with your career champ, you really should bend down and tie your shoe lace, don't worry I'll hold your belt for you.

Dake Ken: What am I stupid? My laces aren't undone... you really are a stupid son of a bitch ain't ya Lee to think that would work.

Todd: Ok suit your self bro I'll catch ya later.

[Dake Ken rapidly heads down the hallway anxious to make his escape from striking distance, waving sarcastically as he makes his escape he trips over his loose shoe lace and lands flat on his face. Whistling cheerfully Lee walks up to him picking the Hardcore Championship up off of the floor.]

Todd: (running away) I told you, all you had to do was bend over and tie your shoe lace, but then again I guess a putz like you isn't even worthy of lacing his own boots forget about mine. Oh, and that one was for cricket!

[Lee heads swiftly down a hallway, followed by the poor sap unlucky enough to be deemed the "UWS Hardcore Cameraman", but skids to a stop when he bangs into "Sentinel" Gabriel Blade. Gabe is still covered in dust and powder from his encounter with Sin.]

Gabriel Blade: You just get here?

Todd: Yep. Not bad, huh? Been here 10 minutes and I already got meself a belt.

Gabriel Blade: I've been here for hours. Listen, we need to talk.

[The show cuts to the ring, where Aspen Sandstrum is standing in the ring, microphone in hand.]

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Carrie. From Newark, New Jersey, and weighing in at 250 lbs... HELLFIRE!!!

[Rob Zombie's "Living Dead Girl" hits the airwaves as walls of flame begin to line each side of the entrance ramp and red lights flood the arena. Hellfire steps through the curtains, with his valet Carrie following close behind. With one swift movement, he jerks his head up in the air and spews flames from his mouth. He then finishes his journey to ringside, steps through the ropes, and awaits his opponent.]

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Burbank, CA, and weighing in at 255 lbs... CURTIS SLAMM!!!

[The house lights go out as the opening guitar riff from "Among The Living" begins. At the top of the rampway smoke fills the entrance into the arena. From out of the cloud, draped in a long robe with the hood coming over his face, a figure stands with his hands spread a few inches apart down at his waist. As the music continues, the figure starts to shuffle his feet. As the music hits a high point the house lights flash on and there stands Curtis Slamm, his head tilted to the sky and his hands raised up over his head, he releases an incredible yell. He undoes his robe and paces across the stage for a moment. Then Slamm stomps down to ringside where he stalks his opponent from outside of the ring, jumping up onto the apron and through the ropes.]

Gallivan: Hellfire jumps Slamm as he steps through the ropes, hammering him with lefts and rights! He grabs Slamm... Irish Whipping him hard into the turnbuckle! Slamm comes out, blasting Hellfire with a heavy Clothesline, but he doesn't go down! Slamm swings at Hellfire, but he ducks! As Slamm does a 360, Hellfire takes a step back... AND SUPERKICKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Hellfire charges off the ropes... and hits Slamm with a Legdrop! He hooks the legs and here's the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Hellfire is back up and pulls Slamm to his feet. He cinches him for a Front Facelock... but Slamm counters with an Inverted Atomic Drop! He grabs Hellfire before he can hit the ground... and Fireman Carries him to the mat! He waits for Hellfire to crawl back to his knees before hitting him with a vicious Ax-handle across the back of the neck!

Jim: High impact wrestling in this one.

Gallivan: Slamm grabs Hellfire... Gutwrench Suplexing him to the canvas! As both men hit, Slamm applies a Fujiwara Armbar on Hellfire! He starts to crank back, but Hellfire is close to the ropes and tries to pull himself closer to them. Julio Suave has referee duties in this one, and he's asking Hellfire if he wants to give... but he reaches the ropes and Julio calls for the break! Slamm gets back to his feet and waits on Hellfire. These two men are pretty evenly matched, sizewise.

Jim: Yeah, but Hellfire is younger and tougher.

Gallivan: But Slamm's certainly got the edge when it comes to experience. Hellfire comes at him as he gets back to his feet, but Slamm ducks under a wild punch... hitting Hellfire with a Back Suplex! Slamm is up first and pulls Hellfire back to his feet. He Irish Whips him off the ropes... POWERSLAM BY CURTIS SLAMM! Slamm's got the leg hooked, and here's the cover... 1... 2... Kickout by Hellfire! Curtis pulls Hellfire's head up with one hand, and starts hammering him with punches with the other! Julio steps in, asking for a break, and Curtis complies.

Jim: Slamm's putting his life in his hands showing up here tonight. From what I've heard, he's made some very dangerous enemies.

Gallivan: That he has, but I think he's worried about the dangerous man he's in the ring with right now. Slamm pulls Hellfire back to his feet, and Irish Whips him hard into the turnbuckle! Slamm heads in... BUT HELLFIRE GOT A BOOT UP INTO THE FACE OF SLAMM! Slamm staggers back as Hellfire pushes himself to the top rope... TOP ROPE LARIAT BY HELLFIRE!!! He hooks the leg, and here's the count... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: That was a close one.

Gallivan: Hellfire is signalling to the crowd as he pulls Slamm up to his feet. He locks him in a T-Bone Suplex position... this could be Blazing Inferno... BUT SLAMM HEADBUTTS HIM TO BREAK THE HOLD! Slamm staggers backwards, out of Hellfire's grasp. Hellfire charges, but Slamm drops his head... BACKDROP DRIVER BY CURTIS SLAMM!!! Incredible impact on that move, and Hellfire's in real trouble!

Jim: Duh.

Gallivan: Slamm stands up, looking a little surprised at the favorable reaction this Seattle crowd is giving him, and circles around behind Hellfire. He's got his arms out, and he's just waiting for Hellfire to get back to his feet.

Jim: I smell venom!

Gallivan: Hellfire drags himself back to his feet... AND SLAMM HOOKS HIM FOR A COBRA CLUTCH!!!

Jim: The snake has struck!

Gallivan: Slamm's got it locked on tight, and this move got Slamm the win over Uesugi at the Iron Man. Julio Suave is checking carefully to ensure that this move doesn't turn into a choke. Hellfire is struggling to break free, but he's in the middle of the ring, and Slamm is keeping him stationary. Hang on, who the hell is this guy?

[The cameras cut to a well toned cruiserweight who steps through the entrance curtain. His body is a mass of scars and tattoos, including a huge tattoo of a dragon that covers most of his back. He is wearing black cutoff jean shorts, a "Misfits" t-shirt, and black combat boots, and has long, dark, stringy hair. The man is holding a steel chair in one hand as he casually scans the crowd before making a bolt down the entrance ramp.]

Jim: Whomever he is... he's coming this way!

Gallivan: This grunge character is heading right for the ring, but Julio is too busy checking on Hellfire to see him! He jumps onto the ring apron and climbs into the ring... AND TATTOOS CURTIS SLAMM ACROSS THE FOREHEAD WITH THE CHAIR!!!

Jim: That's one way to break a submission. Very accurate chairshot too. He could have easily tagged Hellfire with that one, but didn't.

Gallivan: Julio is calling for the bell, and Slamm has been cut open by that chairshot!

Jim: Well, looks like Sin has got another buddy with him.

Gallivan: Hellfire is coming to his senses as this guy just starts hammering on Slamm with that chair! Slamm covers up, but he's taking a beating. Hellfire is back up and now he's stomping on Slamm in between chairshots.

Jim: Waitaminute! I recognize that guy. It's Scott Lenoir! He was the KWA Champion, and now he's here to cause havoc with Hellfire and Sin!

Gallivan: That's certainly what it looks like. Hang on, Lenoir is setting up the chair in a seated position while Hellfire continues to stomp Slamm in the head. He picks him up Slamm and hands him over to Lenoir, who hooks him for a Dragon Sleeper... INVERTED DDT ONTO THE SEAT OF THE CHAIR!!!

Jim: Wham Bam!

Gallivan: This is rediculous! Slamm had this match well in hand when Lenoir made his presence known. Hold on! It's Craig Lassiter!!!

Jim: Dammit, he's management! Hero work is Gabriel Blade's job!

Gallivan: Well, irregardless of the situation between Slamm and Gabe, we last saw Gabe heading off for a chat with Lee Todd.

Jim: Irregardless is not a word!!!

[Lassiter bursts through the entrance curtain with his own chair and charges towards the ring. Hellfire immediately bails as Lassiter rolls into the ring and scrambles to his feet. He swings an overhead shot at Lenoir, who ducks and the chair bounces off the top rope. Lenoir spins around on one heel, and does a Suicide Dive through the ropes to be caught by Hellfire. They take a second to make a few rude gestures to Craig Lassiter, then quickly leave the ring area.]

Jim: That's teamwork.

Gallivan: Craig Lassiter has come out to the defense of Curtis Slamm, and it's a good thing he did. Hellfire and Lenoir are leaving the ring area, but the damage has been done. These fans are cheering him on, and Craig takes a second to acknowledge them... but Slamm has just rolled out of the ring! Lassiter is just looking on as Slamm heads up the entrance ramp, not even acknowledging Craig's existence.

Jim: Well, that's gratitude for ya.

Gallivan: I don't think Slamm is used to needing anybody's help.

[The show cuts to a backstage camera that is following Slamm as he steps through the entrance curtain. He immediately heads to his dressing room. The camera pauses in the hallway for a second, then Slamm returns, still dressed in his ring attire, with a bag of gear over his shoulder, and a wet towel pressed to the cut across his forehead. Slamm heads down a hallway, following the EXIT signs until he comes to one of the back entrances of the arena. Kicking the door open, Slamm walks out into the parking lot, only to come face to face with Poindexter. Behind him, a large white limo is parked.]

Slamm: (under his breath) Shit.

Poindexter: (smiling) The lady would like to speak to you, Mr. Slamm.

[Slamm glances around nervously, then walks over to the limo. That familiar female voice can be heard from inside.]

Voice: Where do you think you're going, Curtis?

[Slamm just stares into the dark limo, saying nothing.]

Voice: Disqualification victory, Curtis? No, that won't do at all. Do you even realize what we are trying to accomplish here? You were meant to handily defeat Hellfire, not get bailed out by your old pal Lassiter.

[Slamm stares into the limo for a few seconds with a disgusted look on his face. After what seems like an eternity, he speaks.]

Slamm: Just go to hell!

[Slamm turns around, and shoves Poindexter hard to the paved ground, then turns to head towards his rental car. Before he gets half a dozen steps from the limo, a squad of heavyset men, all dressed in business suits swarm out from behind a parked truck and a large dumpster. Slamm drops his bag and hits a fighting stance, but the men rush him. The voices of the announcers cut into the feed.]

Gallivan: What the hell! Slamm is getting jumped by a dozen or so hired goons! He's swinging wildly, and connecting, but the odds are just against him!

Jim: Where's Craig Lassiter now? Or Gabriel Blade for that matter?

Gallivan: These men are brutal as they punch, kick, and stomp Slamm down to the pavement! They back away, but Slamm tries to get back to his feet... and they come at him again!

Jim: Stay down, man.

Gallivan: Hang on! The back door of the limo is opening!

[A long leg steps out of the limo, followed by the rest of a tall, gorgeous brunette wearing a brown power suit.]

Gallivan: Ohmygod! It's Barbra Raymond! Babe is Slamm's mysterious benefactor!

Jim: What? What the hell could she possibly have against the UWS?

[Babe walks over towards Slamm and the goons circle parts to allow her entrance. She walks over, and plants one of her stilleto heels into the back of Curtis Slamm's hand.]

Babe: Mr. Slamm, you've cost me a lot of time and effort; and it was all wasted, I can see that now. I was going to save this for someone else, but you've made me angry, so I'm going to feed you to the wolf instead. You think you hurt now? You don't know the meaning of pain, Slamm. Because at Fool's Gold, you will be stepping into the ring against the man who invented pain... DAEMON KRAV!

Gallivan: WHAT?

Jim: Holy crap! Slamm's a deadman!

[The show cuts back to the ring where Ryan Lockheart is standing, prepared for the opening introductions.]

Jim: So, Krav is actually showing up at the pay-per-view?

Gallivan: I have no idea, Jim. We'll have to just wait and see. But I know one thing, I wouldn't like to be in Curtis Slamm's boots if he does return. Up next is the former Hardcore champion, Dake Ken taking on The Messenger. We don't know much about this Messenger guy. The UWS roster has been pretty stable as of late, but the rumor mill is saying that there are several newcomers on their way to the hottest fed in the country. The Messenger is the first of many.

Jim: Well, tell him that he needs a better gimmick.

Gallivan: I'll do that, Jim.

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Ice. From Toronto, Ontario, and weighing in at 287 lbs... DAKE KEN!!!

["Parabola" by Tool begins to play as the lights dim in the arena. As the lyrics begin, Dake Ken steps through the entrance curtain. He stands for a while looking at the crowd. He start to walk down the ramp, he stops at the middle and pauses. He goes to the ring. Turn right and walks up the stairs. Stands in the middle of the ring.]

Gallivan: Well fans, I stand corrected. Dake Ken does have the Hardcore Title over his shoulder, although he looks a little out of breath. I'm being told that Ken made off with belt from Lee's dressingroom while Lee was... ahem... clearing out his system before his upcoming match.

Jim: There's a lesson to all you potential Hardcore champs. Keep the belt with you at all times, even in the crapper.

Lockheart: And his opponent...

[The sound of clicking fingers on typewriter keyboards can be heard as the Syni-tron slowly roars to life, cutting Ryan Lockheart off in mid-sentence. The words, "The Messenger" appear on the Tron, blazing white, as a voice is heard throughout the arena.]

Voice: (whispering) I've come to deliver a message that you all need to hear.

Jim: Well, come on. Out with it.

Gallivan: Dake Ken is impatient in that ring. He's got his Hardcore Title laying on the apron, and he's glancing back and forth between that belt and the Syni-tron.

Jim: Should I jump for it, Gallivan? I could be a 3-time champ!

Gallivan: Just watch the match, Jim. Leave the wrestling to the wrestlers.

Voice: (louder) Oh, I've got a message for you alright... BUT IT'S ALL BAD NEWS!!!

[Suddenly, "Whiteout" by Killing Joke begins to scream and the Syni-tron blasts into a swirl of colors that fades into an image of a black skull drawn on the back of a denim jacket.]

Jim: NO WAY!

[The fans begin to cheer until they see a figure step through the entrance curtain. He is dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt with the slogan, "If you Aunt had balls, she'd be your Uncle" written on it. Over his shirt, he is wearing a tattered sleeveless jean jacket with that same black skull drawn on the back and the words, "Bad News" written underneath.]

Gallivan: It's Sean Lassiter!!!

Jim: I thought he quit!

[The crowd reaction is still mixed, with much of the initial roar dying off, but others still cheering as Sean stomps to the ring in Craig Lassiter's old wrestling boots. He pulls a microphone out of his jacket pocket and starts speaking on his way down the entrance ramp.]

Bad News: Times have changed, and you've gotta change with 'em. Dake Ken, you're one tough son of a bitch, and that Hardcore Title proves it. But you are about to face up against a man with a new lease on life.

Jim: He said bitch! The kid's been hypnotized, I tell ya.

Gallivan: Well, if it was Sean who attacked Damon Lister backstage, then the youngster has done a complete 180 from being a squeaky clean whitebread citizen to a...

Jim: A Magnificent Bastard?

Gallivan: Well, he's wearing his uncle's boots, and they are mighty big. I'm not taking anything away from Sean, but he's going to have a hard time filling them.

[Sean rolls under the bottom rope, then tosses his jacket to the floor.]

Bad News: Last time we met, you kicked my ass, fair and square. But I'm a new man, and you don't have a cricket bat, so let's see what you're really made of.

[Sean charges across the ring, and blasts Dake Ken in the head with the microphone. DI Rogers calls for the bell.]

Gallivan: Here we go! DI Rogers kicks the mic out of the ring as the new Bad News hits Ken with a Knife-edge Chop... and another! Now he snaps Ken's head back with a European Uppercut!

Jim: Man, this is just weird.

Gallivan: Dake comes out of the corner, hitting Sean with a Forearm Elbow shot to the head that knocks him back. Sean's giving up some size in that ring. Dake charges out... dropping Sean with a Clothesline! He drops an Elbow... but Sean rolls out of the way! Both men rush to their feet, and Sean fires out a kick to the stomach of Dake Ken, but Dake hits Sean with a Shoulderblock, shoving him into the corner! He starts firing Shoulderblocks in at him, then pulls Sean out of the corner... One-armed Slam by Dake Ken! Dake Ken grabs Sean as he struggles back to his feet... GUTWRENCH SITOUT POWERBOMB! DI Rogers slides into position as Ken holds the cover... 1... 2... No! Lassiter broke the pin with a heel into the head of Dake Ken!

Jim: Fast and furious thus far.

Gallivan: Both men try to get to their feet, but Dake Ken is up first. He grabs Bad News by the hair... BUT SEAN HITS HIM WITH A LOW BLOW! He grabs Dake Ken, and rolls him up with a Small Package! 1... 2... Kickout! Sean gets back to his feet, and Rogers is warning him about the low blow. He grabs Ken with a Front Facelock as he gets back up, and starts cranking down on it. Ken just pushes forward, driving Bad News into the turnbuckle! Dake Ken starts firing Shoulderblocks into Sean, but Sean turns the facelock into a blatant Chokehold!

Jim: This is enough to bring a tear to my eye, Gallivan. The kid has finally learned what it's gonna take to win in this business.

Gallivan: Rogers is calling for the break, but Sean's holding on. Hang on! Dake Ken straightens up, and tries to deposit Sean over the top rope... BUT BOTH OF THEM FALL OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!

Jim: That broke the choke though.

Gallivan: Both men hit pretty hard, but they are still getting up. Ken is up a split second before Sean, and fires off a punch at him! Sean fires back one of his own, and now these two are just trading punches outside the ring! DI Rogers bails out of the ring to separate them... BUT DAKE KEN TAGS HIM WITH AN ERRANT ELBOW! He was pulling back for a punch, and clocked Rogers and the ref is down! Dake Ken stuns Sean with a hard right hand, then turns around to check on the ref. Hang on! Lassiter shrugs it off, and charges Ken from behind... HITTING HIM WITH A KNEE IN THE BACK THAT DRIVES HIM HEADFIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!!!

Jim: Youch!

Gallivan: These fans are booing Sean now, but he doesn't seem to care. He heads around the ring and pulls the Hardcore Title out of the corner. Sean's got the Hardcore belt, and he's holding it up like a weapon, just waiting for Dake Ken to get back to his feet!

Jim: Yeah! This is Bad News, baby!

Gallivan: Dake Ken is slow to get up after that shot to the noggin from the steel ringpost, but he's getting up nevertheless. Ken is up, and Sean charges at him... BUT DAKE KEN SIDESTEPPED, RAMMING SEAN INTO THE OTHER RINGPOST!!! The Hardcore belt was sandwiched between his chest and the ringpost, and now Sean is rolling around on the floor and coughing. He's got to be in a lot of pain right now. Dake Ken raises his arm to the fans, then picks up DI Rogers and tosses him back in the ring.

Jim: Can't win a match without a ref.

Gallivan: Dake is signalling for the DevaDakeTion, and Sean is lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. Waitaminute! It's Tumbler! He tears out of the crowd, leaping the security barricade! Tumbler is blindingly fast, and Dake Ken is still focused on Sean Lassiter. Hang on, Tumbler is reaching under the ring apron... AND PULLS OUT WHAT APPEARS TO BE A FROZEN TUNAFISH!

Jim: I knew that was there.

Gallivan: You what?

Jim: Yeah, I smelled it, but I just thought it was you.

Gallivan: Tumbler creeps up behind Dake Ken... AND BASHES HIM ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE FISH!!! Ken hits the floor! Tumbler picks up the Hardcore Title from the floor, and quickly straps it around his waist!

[Tumbler mouthes something, then kicks the fish to Sean, who knocks it away. Tumbler turns, and leaps over the guardrail into the crowd.]

Jim: Who was that masked fishmonger?

Gallivan: Tumbler is once again in possession of the Hardcore Title, and has taken his usual exit through the crowd.

Jim: You know something. If you want that Hardcore Title, just buy a ticket to the show. Sooner or later, the Hardcore champ is gonna run through the crowd, and you can just jump him.

Gallivan: Both men are down, but Sean is struggling to his feet. He picks up Dake Ken, slides him into the ring, then follows him in. He crawls onto him for the lateral press and Rogers is coming to his senses enough to make the count... 1... 2... 3! With Tumbler's help, Sean picks up his first win!

Gallivan: No sooner is the bell rung than Sean rolls out of the ring, and now he's heading off into the crowd after Tumbler, still clutching his chest!

Jim: Well, he was wrestling the Hardcore champion, so he expected to get the Hardcore Title.

[The show cuts to Ken Holbrook's office where he's speaking to an apparently very agitated Johnny Lassiter. Lassiter's voice can clearly be heard through the receiver.]

Johnny Lassiter: ... do you hear me?

Holbrook: Of course, Mr. Lassiter, but--

Johnny Lassiter: My son is not going anywhere near the UWS Hardcore division, especially after his neck injury! Once I find out who is responsible for this, I'll make sure they never work again!

Holbrook: I know Mr. Lassiter, but---

Johnny Lassiter: Just sort this out Holbrook... and soon!

Holbrook: Yes Mr. Lassiter, I'll get to the bottom of it right away. Oh, and with regards to that other problem, don't worry about losing Shane Brandon. I've been talking to a few people, and I think I've found a way that we can still cash in on his name while he recovers from his injury.

Johnny Lassiter: Do we have an official word on his condition?

Holbrook: No, Hoss won't let any of our doctors look at him.

Johnny Lassiter: Is he not cooperating?

Holbrook: Just the opposite. Hoss faxes over between 30 and 40 pages of medical information every day. We're just flooded with the stuff, and Doc Andrews has been going over it non-stop trying to filter out the mumbo-jumbo from the actual diagnosis. It's just taking time.

[There is a light knock at the door, and Craig Lassiter walks into the room, sipping on the contents of a cup of beer. Ken holds up a hand to Craig as he listens to Johnny Lassiter, who has quieted down somewhat.]

Holbrook: He's here now. Yes, I'll talk to you later.

[Ken hangs up the phone and glares at Craig.]

Holbrook: Now listen here--

Craig Lassiter: (looking at the beer) Ken, what's the markup on these things?

Holbrook: What?

Craig Lassiter: You know, how much do we make on these cups of beer?

Holbrook: Not including what we pay the vendors, I think the markup is between 50 and 60 percent.

Craig Lassiter: 60 percent? Jeez, I knew Americans liked their beer watery, but this stuff is more water than beer. This is highway robbery.

Holbrook: You don't like it, take it up with Rose. Now listen, I just got off the phone with your brother, and he's very upset.

Craig Lassiter: Really? Did the DOW drop again?

Holbrook: Don't give me that smarmy look or that false innocence. I'm talking about Sean and his resurrection of your old Bad News gimmick. This is your doing, isn't it?

Craig Lassiter: Me? I had nothing to do with this, Kenny. The kid is working on his own this time.

Holbrook: Johnny is on my ass about this Craig, he's worried about his son... and rightfully so. Where did he get that jacket, and your boots?

Craig Lassiter: I gave him the jacket when I gave up the whole "Bad News" gimmick, and I gave him my old boots when I left FHW. I didn't think I'd need 'em anymore.

Holbrook: I think you're lying.

Craig Lassiter: And I think you are a douchebag, but what does that prove? Only that you stink of vinegar.

Holbrook: And what's all this about Babe trying to weasel her way into the UWS? If anything stinks, it's this whole situation, and the smell is coming straight from you. It reeks of one of your convoluted plans.

Craig Lassiter: My personal hygene aside, Ken, I'm completely in the dark this time. Hell, I thought I knew Slamm and Barbra pretty well, but when she showed up tonight, I was floored. I don't know what her grudge is, but I can bet it has something to do with taking a very intelligent woman with a real head for the business and using her for backstage interviews like brainless eye-candy. (smiling) I believe you had a lot to do with that decision, didn't you?

Holbrook: You think I'm afraid of her and her goons? Hired thugs are a dime a dozen, and if she thinks she can shake up this fed by smacking Curtis Slamm around, then she's got another thing coming.

Craig Lassiter: And what about Krav? Was she just blowing smoke when he said Slamm would be facing Krav at Fool's Gold?

[Ken's eyes drop to his desk as he begins to shift papers around nervously. After a few seconds, he looks up.]

Holbrook: Nope. The match committee confirmed it.

Craig Lassiter: And by match committee, you mean my brother.

Holbrook: Johnny and his silent partners, yes.

Craig Lassiter: That sounds like the name of a bluegrass band. The whole idea behind silent partners is that they keep their damn mouthes shut! Dammit, Ken, you and I are fighting for some sort of control over this fed, but we are just pawns of management.

Holbrook: Speak for yourself, Craig. I know exactly what I'm doing, and mark my words, when Johnny eventually gets bored with the UWS, like all of his other investments, it'll be me who takes over... not you.

[Craig leans in over Ken's desk as his voice raises.]

Craig Lassiter: Ken, what you know about wrestling was proven two weeks ago when you signed yourself up for wrestling lessons with Lee Todd. Lesson #1: How to scream like a bitch. To be honest, I don't give a damn about you... or Babe... or my big brother Johnny. The LWA, and therefore the UWS, is mine and nobody else's. I'm the only man who cares about this company above and beyond how much money it brings in. Hell, the only reason you are sitting in that chair is just to spite me. You're a petty, vindictive man Ken, and you're building a giant tornado of shit around yourself. Sure, you might be in the eye of it right now, but sooner or later, it's all gonna hit you in the face.

[As if to drive the point home, Craig tosses the remains of the watery beer into Holbrook's face. Ken jumps to his feet as he grabs his silver jester-headed cane from the desk.He shoves the head of his cane into the throat of Craig, and pushes him away from him.]

Holbrook: Don't ever forget what I know about you, Craig. I may not have told the world when we were in FHW, but I can just as easily do it here. Just keep that in mind the next time you decide to get in my way or insult me. And don't think I've forgotten that shot you took at the Iron Man. I don't forget so easily, Craig... anything.

[Craig shoves Holbrook's cane away and storms out of the room. Ken pulls a towel out of his desk drawer and starts to wipe the beer from his face and hair. Suddenly, the door kicks in, and Holbrook leaps back in a defensive posture. As Sin, Hellfire, and Scott Lenoir walk in, he lets his guard down.]

Holbrook: Gentlemen, what can I do for you?

Sin: You know Hellfire Holbrook, well this man is "The Punisher" Scott Lenoir, and together they are now known as the Champions of Sin. The UK Crew have been sitting on those tag belts, and you know it. I'm demanding that these two get a shot at the belts.

Holbrook: Well, I--

Sin: (forcing Ken to jump back with his raised voice) I'm not done! The time has come for Gabriel Blade to face his own judgement. I want him in the ring.

[Sin leans over Ken's desk, looking ready to strike. Ken backs up against the window and looks all three of them up and down for a few seconds.]

Holbrook: (smiling) All you had to do was ask, gentlemen. Sin, I'll make sure that you face Gabriel Blade at Fool's Gold. I'm sure Gabe will jump at the chance, given the run-ins you two have had recently. The OWF Title will undoubtedly be on the line, since Gabe has already professed to being a "fighting champion." And since our tag team division is rather limited at the moment, I feel that the UWS match committee will have no problem giving our newest talent a shot at those tag straps. I thank you for coming in, gentlemen... and good luck at Fool's Gold.

[The scene cuts to the locker room of Gabriel Blade as the grappler stretches in preparation for his upcoming match. There is a knock at the door.]

Gabriel Blade: Come in.

[Kevin O'Reilly, carrying a manila folder and looking well dressed and handsome as ever, walks into the room beaming a broad smile. Gabe stops stretching and turns to him.]

O'Reilly: Nice to see you again, Mr. Blade, I trust you slept well.

Gabriel Blade: (flatly) I slept fine.

O'Reilly: Glad to hear it. (motioning to the folder) Now, I've got something for you.

Gabriel Blade: What is it?

O'Reilly: A contract securing you my exclusive managerial services.

[O'Reilly hands the folder to Gabe, who hesitantly takes it.]

Gabriel Blade: I don't know about this.

O'Reilly: Remember everything I've told you, Mr. Blade, remember all you've seen with your own eyes. I don't need to make my case again, I've laid it all on the line. You know what it's like out there, you know what I can offer and you know what you need.

Gabriel Blade: Still...

O'Reilly: Look, give the contract a quick read. It makes me your manager for the next 3 months, and at the end of that time, if either party is unsatisfied with the arrangement, we can end it. But if we are both pleased with who the months have unfolded, we can extend the deal for as long as you want. You know what a manager can do for a superstar in this industry, you know the difference one can make. You've seen it for yourself as man like Shane Brandon and men like Lee Todd, who are no better than you but who have the best managers money can buy, leave you in the dust as they shoot ahead to bigger and better things. Give me a chance to show what I can do. I can help you, Mr. Blade, if you'll just let me.

[Gabe stares at O'Reilly for a long moment. Something about this doesn't feel quite right. He can't put his finger on it, but something just seems... off just a little. But O'Reilly's words make sense, and he's done nothing but work as hard as he can to prove himself to Gabe and to make things better for the grappler. What harm can giving him a chance to prove himself do? Blade opens the folder and reads quickly over the contract. O'Reilly holds out a pen, and after another long pause, Gabe takes it and signs his name. O'Reilly's smile grows even broader.]

O'Reilly: You won't reget it, Mr. Blade. Now, are you prepared to do what must be done tonight?

Gabriel Blade: Yes, I am.

O'Reilly: Excellent, because I have some strategies to go over with you for when we get down to the ring...

Gabriel Blade: (forcefully) No.

O'Reilly: (taken aback) Excuse me?

Gabriel Blade: I'm ready to do what needs to be done, but I'm ready to do what I say needs to be done, my way. And you won't be accompanying me to the ring tonight. After the show we can discuss strategies and game plans for the weeks to come. Not until then.

O'Reilly: (surprised and a bit put off) Alright, Mr. Blade, if that's what you want...

Gabriel Blade: That's what I want. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a match to get ready for.

[We're once again taken to the always colorful backstage area. There, dressed in a Kilt and Blue War paint our very English LWA Champion prepares to attack utilising the clever Alias of a Scots Man. He hangs in an alcove as Tumbler begins walking down the hallway. As the champ approaches, he stops as he sees the cameraman at the end of the hall, filming everything.]

Tumbler: Oh crap.

[Suddenly, Lee leaps out from the alcove, lifting his kilt to expose his mammoth piece of man meat, yes thats right all 3" of it.]

Todd: Drop the belt son this thing is loaded.

[Needing both hands to shield his eyes, Tumbler drops his championship screaming in agony.]

Tumbler: Christ, Lee! You sick bastard!

[Tucking the Hardcore Strap in to his kilt Lee quickly makes his escape.]

Todd: FREEDOM!!!!

[The show cuts back to ringside, where Aspen Sandstrum is waiting patiently.]

Gallivan: That was a sight I didn't need to see. Fans, now it's time for our Triangle Match between Lee Todd, Gabriel Blade, and Brian Thorn. Considering how competitive these three have been as of late, this one should be something special. So, take it away Aspen!

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a one-fall elimination contest. Wrestlers can be eliminated via Pinfall, Submission, Disqualification, or Countout. Making his way to the ring, standing at 6 feet tall and weighing in at 235 lbs, from Hollywood, California, he is the ultimate model of perfection in a mortal man, he is... BRIAN THORN!!!

[In Thorn's voice we hear the word "Ultimate" over the sound system as a spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp to a waiting Thorn. Thorn is looking down at the Bronze medal around his neck, and only looks away to glance at the ring. "Model" is spoken the same way as another spotlight hits him from a different angle, and Thorn begins his walk to the ring. "Of" is heard as a third spotlight shines down, but Thorn is out of position and it just hits an empty section of the entrance ramp. "Perfection" sounds in Thorn's voice as a fourth and final spotlight hits the empty space. Suddenly "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool plays over the sound system and all four spotlights move up the entrance ramp, as Thorn reaches the ring and climbs in. On the Syni-tron we see images of Thorn in his glory, hitting the Double Take, flashing his "million dollar" smile, women hanging off of both arms, and then a closeup of the arrogant face. Thorn waits patiently in the ring for his entrance music to finish, alternating glances between the bronze medal and the entrance curtain. The music fades, and the lights come back on.]

Gallivan: Thorn was more than a little upset at his success, or lack thereof, at the Iron Man, winning the Bronze Medal.

Jim: Don't forget... Thorn kissed his sister.

Gallivan: He what!?

Jim: He got a draw against Sin two weeks ago. A tie is like kissing your sister.

Gallivan: Oh.

Aspen: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England and weighing in at 232 lbs... LEE F'N' TODD!!!

[The arena's plunged in to darkness as Sweet Child of Mine kicks in, dry ice billows out of the entrance way as the silhouette of one Lee F'n' Todd fills the entrance. Taking a swig of Brown Ale he takes a deep breath before walking through the curtain. In addition to the Unified Title around his waist, Lee is carrying the LWA Division Title, as well as one of the Tag Team belts and the Hardcore Title. As he walks his eyes remain locked on the ring, never once leaving the ring ropes. Ron excitedly bounds down after him excitedly pronouncing the man has arrived. Rolling under the bottom rope he pulls his shirt off over his head and adjusts his elbow pads. Slowly rotating his neck he leans against the ropes his whole body tense as Ron scours the ringside area for a live microphone. Taking the microphone Ron heads for the centre of the ring now lit by a spotlight.]

Ron King: Ladies and gentleman it is my humbleistic honour to bring to you the most grapletastic megastar you've ever had the privilege to see lace up a pair of boots. Holding more victories than any of his peers, draped with more gold than Mr. T, Hits harder than Rocky and faster than Speedy Gonzales the man of a million moves, lord of luchadores, the grandest of the gladiators, purest of the puresoes, more hardcore than your fat momma and the biggest face this worlds ever known. (pauses for breath) I give you your reigning UWS Tag Team and Division Champion, as well as the Unified World Heavyweight Champ... the Darkness from Darlington, 230lbs of lean mean wholesome goodness, the man that carries just 2.5% body fat... gods gift to wrestling... LEE F'N' TODD!

[Raising both arms high in the air pyros shoot from the corner of the ring as attendants shoot "I'm a face now" shirts in to the crowd out of cannons. Taking one last mouthful of water Lee hands his bottle to the attendance as he circles the ring like a lion waiting for the bell.]

Gallivan: Lee Todd earned the title of Iron Man, but Gold Man might be more apt. The only belt in the UWS not currently in his possession is the OWF Title held by Gabriel Blade.

Jim: Now that Lee is in the OWF, is it possible that he could sweep the belts?

Gallivan: It's certainly possible. As Ron leaves the ring, Lee backs into a corner and watches Thorn, who appears to be having a conversation with his Bronze medal.

Aspen: And their opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Athens, Greece, and weighing in at 246 lbs... "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

["And Justice For All" plays as Gabriel Blade steps onto the entrance ramp. Those observant of the human soul can easily see the wonder and awe still there in his eyes as he surveys the scene before turning to face the ring and marching resolutely forward.]

Gallivan: And there's the last belt in the UWS, not including the other tag belt. Gabe is getting an incredible reaction, as did Lee, as he steps into the ring. Julio Suave is the ref for this one, and he calls for the bell.

Gallivan: All three men are hanging back in corners, neither one wanting to make the first move. Lee is still dropping belts out to the poor ring attendants, and Gabriel Blade is actually calling for a mic!

Jim: He got a tip from Sean Lassiter. He's gonna use it as a weapon!

[Another attendant hands a mic to Gabe, who looks over at Lee as he speaks.]

Gabriel Blade: I've got this one.

[Gabe tosses the mic out of the ring, and Lee gives him a mock bow as he bails out of the ring, and proceeds to take all of his belts back from the ring attendant.]

Jim: What the hell?

Gallivan: Well, it's an elimination contest, so it looks like Gabe is giving Lee a break for the start of this one.

Jim: Ken Holbrook isn't going to like this. The whole point of this match was to wear Lee down before he faced Stu Price for the LWA Title. Once again, Gabe is dicking around with Holbrook's plans, even though they don't concern him.

Gallivan: I know. Great, isn't it?

Jim: Hey! Stay unbiased, mister.

Gallivan: In the ring, Thorn looks even more paranoid as he carefully places his bronze medal in the corner and steps out in the center of the ring where Gabriel Blade is waiting. They lock up, and Gabe just shoves Thorn onto his back! Thorn gets back up, and they lock up again. This time, Thorn pulls off an Armbar, then Armdrags Gabe to the mat, switching into a Wristlock. Gabe fires off a kick to Thorn's midsection, and struggles to his feet, but Thorn maintains the hold. He fires off a very stiff punch to Gabe's nose! Gabe's eyes water, but he spins out of the wristlock... AND DROPS THORN WITH A SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!

Jim: Oh man, we aren't going to see wrestling here are we? I wanted a fight.

Gallivan: Thorn bounces back to his feet, but Gabe grabs him for a Side Headlock. Thorn fires off a couple short Forearm jabs to the kidneys, then stomps Gabe in the back of the knee! He uses Gabe's lack of balance to hoist him up... DROPPING HIM STRAIGHT ONTO HIS HEAD WITH A BACK SUPLEX!!!

Jim: Man, that's gotta sting!

Gallivan: Lee Todd has taken all of his belts and is now sitting next to our table, watching the match. Thorn is back to his feet... AND RIPS OFF A NASTY KICK TO THE SIDE OF GABE'S HEAD AS HE TRIES TO STAND! Thorn spins around, hitting a stiff Back Kick into Gabe's ribs! He follows this up with a Double Chop to the chest that staggers Gabe back against the ropes. Thorn is hitting on all cylinders tonight, and he is working especially stiff.

Jim: Good.

Gallivan: Of course, that is likely to backfire when facing someone as intense as Gabriel Blade. Thorn steps in, hitting Gabe with a one-two punch followed by another Snap Kick to the ribs! He hits Gabe with a Uppercut Chop into the throat, then charges off the far ropes. Thorn comes back... HITTING GABE WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK THAT SENDS BOTH OF THEM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: That's a little reckless for Thorn, isn't it?

Gallivan: Lee Todd is a few feet away, just watching the action. Both Gabe and Thorn are struggling to get up, despite both having hit pretty hard. They regain their vertical base, and Gabe immediately hammers Thorn with a right hand, knocking him back a step! He grabs Thorn by the arm, going for an Irish Whip... BUT THORN REVERSES IT, SENDING GABE INTO THE RINGPOST! Gabe staggers out, his teeth clenched in pain, and Thorn lifts him onto his back... SAMOAN DROP ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!

Jim: He's got his eye on that Unified Title!

Gallivan: Thorn is back up and heads towards Lee, who stands up, ready to fight. Thorn pauses, just staring at wrestling's version of King Midas. Thorn takes a second to shout abuse at his bronze medal, for some ungodly reason, then turns his attentions back on the OWF Division champ. Gabe tries to stand, but Thorn charges him... BLASTING HIM WITH A SCISSORKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Thorn shoves Gabe back into the ring as Julio's count reaches 8. He slides in after him, and hooks the leg for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout by Gabe! Thorn slams a hand onto the canvas, and picks Gabe up off the canvas. He hooks him for a Front Facelock.... Snap Suplex by Thorn! Thorn pushes Julio out of the way, and now he's headed up to the top rope! Julio starts at count as Thorn stands tall on the top. He leaps off the top... PERFECT PRESS BY BRIAN THORN!!!

Jim: Denied!

Gallivan: Hang on! Gabe rolled out of the way at the last second and Thorn hit the canvas facefirst! Gabe drags himself to his feet, and Lee Todd is politely clapping at ringside. Thorn is holding his stomach as he gets to his feet, and Gabe hits him with a beefy Forearm shot across the back! He hooks up Thorn, lifting him up for a Vertical Suplex! Gabe suspends Thorn in the air while the fans start to cheer... and finally drops him to the canvas! Gabe grabs Thorn by the foot... AND APPLIES A GRAPEVINED ANKLELOCK SUBMISSION!

Jim: Where the hell did that come from?

Gallivan: I'm not sure, but Thorn's in trouble here. Gabe is punishing him with that anklelock. Thorn tries to turn it over, but Gabe's too well planted and doesn't budge. Thorn leans back, desperately reaching for the ropes as Gabe continues to twist his foot! He fires off a Kick, that catches Gabe in the face, forcing him to release one hand to block a second kick. Thorn pulls himself back... and grabs onto the bottom rope! Julio immediately calls for the break, and Gabe releases the hold.

Jim: Fast as that, Gabe nearly ended the match.

Gallivan: Gabe is back up and grabs Thorn as he tries to stand... POWERBOMBING HIM TO THE MAT! Incredible impact on that move! Hold on, someone's on their way to the ring!

Jim: In the middle of a wrestling match! That's unheard of!

Gallivan: Sarcasm aside, Jim, it's Sean Lassiter in his Bad News gear! He heads right around the ring, and Lee salutes him as he comes towards him.

[Sean grins at Lee as he charges into him, bowling him and his multiple titles over onto the floor.]

Gallivan: Lee tries to stand amidst the clutter of gold... and Sean punches him in the head!

Jim: Never trust a Lassiter.

Gallivan: Lee looks more shocked than hurt. In the ring, Gabriel Blade grabs Thorn by the feet... AND TURNS HIM OVER FOR A BOSTON CRAB!!! Outside the ring, Sean boots Lee in the guts, staggering him into our announce table... and now he grabs the Hardcore Title! Sean quickly leaps over the steel guardrail into the crowd!

Jim: That Hardcore Title causes nothing but strife in the UWS.

Gallivan: Are you complaining?

Jim: Hell no, I love it!

Gallivan: Waitaminute! Sean Lassiter is being accosted by a fan. No! It's Tumbler! Tumbler was in the midst of the crowd, and now the two of them are brawling through the stands!

Jim: Make that three. Here comes Dake.

[Dake Ken runs down the entrance ramp, right past the ring, and now he heads over the guardrail and makes a beeline for Lassiter and Tumbler.]

Gallivan: Lee sees the carnage in the crowd, and decides to stay at ringside.

Jim: Hey, waitaminute! Lee's still got the Hardcore Title!

Gallivan: What?

Jim: Look, there it is!

Gallivan: From the looks of it, Sean Lassiter took one of the Tag Team titles by mistake.

Jim: And now he, Tumbler, and Dake Ken are fighting over a tag title. What a buncha rubes.

Gallivan: With that distraction behind us, Brian Thorn is still suffering at the hands of a Sentinel Boston Crab. Gabe's bending Thorn nearly in half, but he still hasn't submit. Julio keeps checking on him, but Thorn is hanging on. Gabe finally releases the submission, and takes a second to catch his breath.

Jim: Gabe's the only wrestler I know who doesn't take a break during submission holds. That kid just tries too hard.

Gallivan: Thorn is in a rough state on the mat. He's trying to get up, but he's moving very slowly. Gabe raises his arm in the air as he waits on Thorn. Thorn pulls himself to his feet, but Gabe grabs him by the throat... CHOKESLAM BY GABRIEL BLADE! As usual with wrestlers of this caliber, they are putting every ounce of their strength behind every move. Lee Todd is just watching from the floor, ready to jump in as soon as either of these men is eliminated. Gabe picks up Thorn, and Irish Whips him hard into the turnbuckle! He staggers out, and Gabe telegraphs a Backdrop, catching a speedy Kick in the face for his troubles! He straightens up... and Thorn hits him with a Mafia Kick! But Gabe didn't go down! He swings at Thorn, who ducks... AND PLANTS GABE WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!

Jim: Tons of impact on that one. I think Thorn's trying to hurt Gabe in there.

Gallivan: When isn't Thorn trying to hurt someone. He's still slow to get up, but backs into the corner as he waits on Gabe, shaking the cobwebs loose. Gabe crawls back to his knees... AND THORN HITS HIM WITH A SNAP KICK TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD! Gabe's head jerks to the side, but he doesn't fall. Thorn hits him with another Kick, this time to the left side of his head! He snaps off another Kick, from the alternate side, that connects with a thud into Gabe's right bicep! Thorn is dancing from foot to foot as he hits Gabe with a carbon-copy Kick to the left bicep! He circles, hitting Gabe with another stiff Kick, this one to the upper back... and another one to the chest! Without any hesitation, Thorn spins around... BLASTING GABE SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH A HEEL KICK!!! Seven kicks, and Gabe finally collapses to the canvas!

Jim: Man, that's brutal.

Gallivan: Thorn just stands over the form of Gabriel Blade, sucking down the air and seething rage.

[Thorn turns back to the corner that houses his bronze medal, and shouts loud enough for the ringside mics to pick up what he's saying.]

Brian Thorn: Not this time, I've got it won. See, I AM perfect!

Jim: I think Thorn's lost it!

Gallivan: Julio Suave is just waiting for Thorn to act. He kicks Gabe onto his back, and drops onto him for the lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Gabe kicked out!

[In the ring, Thorn starts slamming his fists onto the canvas. He jumps to his feet, and starts shouting at Julio Suave. After a few seconds, he points down at Gabe, and drops onto him for another cover.]

Gallivan: Thorn wasn't satisfied with that count, so this time he's hooking the leg... 1... 2... NO! Again, Gabriel Blade kicks out! AND THORN IS LIVID! The Perfect One has lost all composure in that ring, and now he's up and Stomping the hell out of Gabriel Blade! Julio is wary about stepping in, given Thorn's demeanor. Thorn drops to one knee, driving the other one across the windpipe of Gabriel Blade! He's choking the life right out of him! Julio puts on a quick count, but Thorn only breaks it after Julio forcibly pulls him off! Thorn shoves Julio away, and goes back to stomping on Gabe! Gabe is desperately trying to get up, but he's still dazed from that septumvirate of kicks.

Jim: A septumvirate? Is that contagious?

Gallivan: Gabe fights back to his feet as Thorn hits him with a Double Mongolian Chop to the traps... BUT GABE REACHES OUT, HOOKING THE GATEWAY TO ETERNITY!!! He applied that Mandible Claw, and Thorn's in trouble! Julio checks on the hold... BUT THORN RAKES GABE'S EYES, BREAKING THE HOLD! He staggers back, spitting and fuming. Both men are still standing as Thorn boots Gabe in the midsection, then lifts him up for a Michinoku Driver... but Gabe redistributes his weight, falling behind him! He grabbed Thorn's head on the way down, and hoists him up... JUDGEMENT DAY BY THE SENTINEL!!!

Jim: Listen to this crowd! Either I get earplugs for the next show, or I sue for industrial disease.

Gallivan: Gabe picked Thorn up, and planted him with that reverse brainbuster, and now he goes for the lateral press... 1... 2... 3! Julio calls for the bell!

Jim: Damn!

Gallivan: Gabe looks pretty rough in there, but we know from experience that he's saving something for Lee Todd. Gabe rolls Thorn out of the ring, dropping him to the floor, and now Lee Todd stands up and stretches on the outside. He carefully places his belts on the folding chair, grabs a microphone from our table, and climbs into the ring. As Lee climbs in, Gabe straightens up to his full height, not giving Lee the satisfaction of seeing him winded.

[The two of them bump chests before Lee brings the microphone up. Before he can speak, Gabe snatches it out of his hands, prompting an excited reaction from the crowd. Gabe backs up a step before speaking.]

Gabriel Blade: Lee, all that gold you're sporting at ringside has made you the single biggest target in the fed, whether you like it or not. Now I know you'd like nothing better than to take my OWF Title to compete your collection, but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

[Again, the crowd reacts, trying to goad both men into fighting.]

Gabriel Blade: Someday, I'll aim for that spot... being a target, but for now I know what it's like to have Ken Holbrook gunning for you, abusing his power to try and destroy you any way he can. And I'm not going to be a pawn in Holbrook's plan to strip that LWA Title off you. That belt is worth more than that. So Lee... let's call this one a draw.

Jim: What? They can't do that!

Gallivan: These fans still want a fight, because they know just what these two are capable of. Lee is looking out to the fans, as if expecting them to answer for him.

[Gabe lowers the mic, and holds his hand out to Lee. Again, Lee looks to the fans before reaching out in return. Lee grabs Gabe by the hand, spinning around into a wristlock before releasing the hold with a smile on his face, and extending his hand. Gabe laughs and the two shake hands in the middle of the ring.]

Gallivan: It looks like we have a concensus. Julio Suave is calling for the bell, and this match is over!

Jim: What a sham.

Gallivan: What was a shame was Ken Holbrook booking this match in the first place. He... waitaminute! Outside the ring, Brian Thorn has crawled over to Lee's cache of gold and grabbed the UWS Unified World Title! He slides into the ring, where Gabe and Lee are raising each other's hands... AND BLASTS GABE ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE BELT!!! Lee spins around to face him... BUT THORN FLATTENS HIM WITH THE TITLE AS WELL!!!

Jim: Yeah!

Gallivan: Thorn is muttering to himself as he heads to the corner and puts on his bronze medal. He looks an absolute mess, and his eyes look like those of a wild animal.

[Thorn staggers to the ropes, then falls out of the ring to the floor. He shouts something unintellegible at his medal before grabbing the end of the Unified Title strap with both hands.]

Gallivan: What on earth is he doing?

[Thorn cackles before swinging the Unified Title like a baseball bat, smashing it into a dozen or so pieces against the steel ringpost.]

Gallivan: HE'S DESTROYING THE WORLD TITLE!!!

Jim: Unified no more, it's now the UWS Fragmented World Title.

Gallivan: This is insane! Thorn continues mumbling to himself as he wanders up the entrance ramp towards the curtain. He looks completely beaten, and I almost feel sorry for him, despite what he's done.

Jim: Yeah, have a heart Gallivan.

[As the audience boos, Thorn walks to the curtain, where Ken Holbrook meets him. He gives Thorn a wide berth as the muttering one walks past him without even seeing him. The crowd gets even louder as Ken raises a microphone to his lips.]

Holbrook: Shut the hell up, people. Let me be the first one to tell you idiots that GRUNGE IS DEAD!!!

[Several half-full cups fly past Holbrook before security steps in on either side of the guardrail. Ken looks down at the ring, where Gabriel Blade and Lee Todd are slowly getting to their feet.]

Gallivan: Very topical reference, Ken.

Holbrook: Ok, I'll admit it, you guys screwed me over here tonight. I was hoping that Gabe and Thorn would beat Lee half to death so that Stu would have the advantage. Well, Stu, I hope you're listening to this, wherever you are in the arena. I was fined for adding all those stipulations to my match against Lee Todd 2 weeks ago, but this time I did it ahead of time, so it's all nice and legal. If you had bothered to read the adjusted contract that we had faxed to you last night, you would know that. Stu Price will be fighting tonight as if his career depended on it... because it does! Stu, if you fail to win the LWA Division Title... YOUR ASS IS FIRED!!!

Gallivan: WHAT? This is rediculous!

Jim: Ah, you think everything's rediculous.

Holbrook: I hope Stu is listening to this, and Lee... I hope you are listening too. Know you now, that if you beat Stu tonight, you will be the one responsible for ending his wrestling career. And don't think you can let him win by countout or disqualification either. If he doesn't become our new LWA champ, his contract is null and void. Now somebody ring that damn bell!

[Holbrook turns around, and disappears backstage. In the ring, Julio Suave calls for the bell as Gabriel Blade shakes his head and climbs out of the ring.]

Gallivan: In the ring, Lee Todd is looking furious, and understandably so.

Jim: Is he mad because Thorn beaned him, then destroyed his belt, or because he's got to end Stu's career.

Gallivan: I'd hazard a guess that it's a combination of the two. Julio is now starting a count on Stu Price. In what might be his last match in the UWS, Stu doesn't get any entrance music or any ring introduction.

[Stu finally steps through the entrance curtain, looking uncharacteristically serious. He walks to the ring, keeping his eyes on Lee and climbs into the ring before Julio reaches 10.]

Gallivan: Lee is just staring at Stu and both of them start circling each other. Gabriel Blade has taken Lee's chair at ringside, and I guess he's staying out here to keep an eye on this match. Lee and Stu lock up in the middle of the ring, but immediately break the hold, and bump chests.

Jim: This one's been brewing for years.

[Lee circles the Stu, then raises his hand for a pause. Lee gestures for the microphone. Smiling, he cordially waves at Stu as he raises the mic to his lips.]

Todd: You know Stu, we used to be like two peas in a pod we were real tight, almost as tight as your fat momma's cutchie before I went to work on it with my mighty rod of steel, of coarse I used protection we wouldn't want anything even remotely resembling you inflicted on this earth, and well yes I was pretty drunk at the time. But like a wise man once said Stu my good man any holes a goal.

[Pointing suggestively at his backside in an overly dramatic session Lee looks to be genuinely concerned. Making sure his rump is well protected by his free hand he continues.]

Todd: But unfortunately I think you've taken that philosophy a little too far, I mean honestly man you used to skip out through back doors when it came to stand up and be a man, now if the rumours are true you've gone 180 and you'll enter any back door as long as you see a man. Still there's nothing wrong with that whatever floats your boat, I just wonder how things went so wrong.

[Glancing over at the Championship Laiden chair at ringside he winks knowingly.]

Todd: Now sure I held all the belts and had all of the success but it's not like I never let you hold my belts. Remember that time when I let you hold my World title whilst I took a wizz, you didn't wash your hands for like a week. Good times man, good times especially for you that's the closest you've ever got to holding a legitimate Heavyweight championship.

[Running his hands accross his waist he mouths the words "Come get it pussy" "I dare you to take it" his eyes never once leaving Stu's.]

Todd: I've went over this like a million times in my mind and I just can't seem to figure it out. Sure I wouldn't let you ride to the arena in my Limo with me but I gave you cab fair. And of coarse me and Tumbler carried the tag team titles with us, but we took a picture of one of them had it blown up and gave it to you. That's pretty generous we only charged you half the price it cost us to get that made for you.

[Trying to sound as genuine as he possibly can the smug grin never once leaves his face.]

Todd: I even went as far as to let you wash my jock strap, you got to touch the same article of clothing that touched the devine rod of power. And when you got that nasty stain out for me I thanked you for it, I was very grateful. But I guess in the end despite all I've done for you my man the green eyed monster got to you, it's too bad you were so envious of my one eyed monster maybes this could of been avoided. But alas the time for talk it's passed now it's time for me to send you on your way. And just to show there's no hard feelings I'll even foot the medical bills, because after it's all said and done I'm a face now so it's only fair I forgive and forget and take care of my bitch.

[Lee spikes the mic down hard into the mat and prepares to fight.]

Gallivan: Lee didn't want this match, but he's sure as hell going to go through with it.

Jim: This is great. Either Lee loses one of his belts, or he loses his best friend. Man, I can't wait!

Gallivan: Stu takes the first swing, tagging Lee with a shot to the head, and the dam breaks! Lee starts firing back punches of his own, and they are trading lefts and rights! Julio knows better than to get anywhere near them as they flail away at each other, years of repressed jealousy and petty bickering at an end, these two are just pounding on each other! Lee takes the advantage as Stu backpedals, still throwing punches, into the corner. He steps out, hitting Lee with a Knee to the midsection... and another! Stu goes for a Gutwrench Suplex... but Lee counters it into a Backdrop! Stu scrambles back to his feet... AND LEE JUMPS ONTO HIM WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!!! He's driven Stu to the canvas, and now he's firing off the punches!

Jim: I got a satellite dish recently, Gallivan. And this match reminds me of that one British TV show I've been watching... Bottom. It's about two guys who live together and just like beating the shit out of each other. Kinda like Stu and Lee.

Gallivan: What about Tumbler?

Jim: Oh, he's just "Little" Dave Hedgehog.

Gallivan: I won't pretend to know what you're talking about. Julio finally steps in, after Lee refuses to stop raining down pain on Stu. He tries to pull Lee off... but Stu fires off a punch into the groin of Lee! He shoves the champ off him, and pulls himself back to his feet. Despite clutching at his gonads, Lee gets back to his feet, but Stu grabs him... Judo Throw to the mat! He bounces off the far opes... hitting Lee with a Dropkick to the face! Kip-up by Stu and he grabs Lee by the feet, crossing them over... TEXAS CLOVERLEAF BY STU-E PRICE!!! Lee is already trying to drag himself to the ropes to break out of this hold. He pulls himself a foot across the ring... and grabs the rope, forcing the break. Stu stomps Lee in the head after breaking the hold, and drags him back to his feet. He cinches Lee for a Suplex... but Lee blocks it with his foot! Lee reverses it... HITTING STU WITH A FRONT LAYOUT SUPLEX ACROSS THE TOP ROPE!

Jim: Ooch, that'll bring up breakfast.

Gallivan: Lee bounces off the side ropes... hitting Stu with a Punt in the face that sends him to the floor! He heads out after him, but Julio steps in front of him, warning him not to leave the ring. Lee tries to push past him, but changes his mind and moves back to a neutral corner as Julio puts a count on Stu. Outside the ring, Stu is trying to regain his faculties. This match is still young, but has been a barn-burner so far as these two both try to secure a quick win. Stu waits until Julio reaches 7 before rolling back into the ring, but Lee's on him like a shot! He hooks Stu for a Front Facelock, and starts cranking back on his neck! Stu tries to lift Lee up, but can't do it. Lee brings up a Knee into the face of Stu... and another! He underhooks Stu's arms... and Butterfly Suplexes him across the ring! Lee hooks the leg for a cover... 1... Kickout! He tries to pull Stu back to his feet as he gets up himself... but Stu drives the top of his head into Lee's stomach, knocking the wind out of him! He lifts Lee up... Backdropping him to the canvas!

Jim: This match is a mix between brawling and chain-wrestling. I don't know if I've seen Stu wrestle this well before, but I guess putting your career on the line will change your perspective a little.

Gallivan: Stu bounces off the ropes, tagging Lee with a Flair-type Kneedrop across the head!

Jim: Wheeee! Whew, that was close, I almost went a full show without a wheee.

Gallivan: Stu's back up and grabs Lee as he gets back to his feet, and applies a Front Facelock of his own.

Jim: Get it? Full show without a wheee?

Gallivan: Jim, that's just terrible. You start the show on a chipmunk gag, and we are rapidly running out of TV time and you give us a wee joke.

Jim: Hey, I get paid the same no matter what the ratings are, you should be lucky I even bother trying to lighten this show up. Just wait to see what I've got planned for the PPV.

Gallivan: I can only guess. Lee has shoved Stu back against the ropes while Stu turns the facelock into a blatant chokehold! Lee tries to lift Stu up, but Stu is cutting off his air! He brings a Knee up into the face of Lee, releases the hold, shuffles off the side ropes... AND DROPS LEE WITH A SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Here's the cover... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: Nice combo there, Stu-E.

[Suddenly, the Syni-tron lights up to show an image of Tumbler, and his voice can be heard over the arena loudspeakers.]

Tumbler: HELLOOOOOOO IT IS I YOUR FAVOURITE HERO, TUMBLELALALALALAH!!!!!!!!

Jim: Jesus! Could that be any louder?

Tumbler: Now stop that match right now and listen to what I have to say as it is very IMPORTANT!!!

[In the ring, Stu just stares up at the Syni-tron.]

Tumbler: Now I have seen a travesty happen here to stop it and show you all the TRUTH that Stu Price is a LIAR!!!!!

[The image of Tumbler on the tron disappears and is replaced by the video Stu showed before of "Tumbler" & the other guy. The camera zooms in on the guy behind the other guy and it is non other than a young Stu Price sweaty face and all. The image fades back to the shot of Tumbler's face.]

Tumbler: Now I am sorry I had to show you all that but everybody had to know that it was not ME, no no no I do not need to ride people to go far Stu over there who does more sucking than a vaccume cleaner.

[Stu begins to look pissed off as he glares at Tumbler.]

Tumbler: So now we know the truth that Stu has always liked a bit of Sander Baas up his ass, I only have one thing to say to you Stu FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

Gallivan: Waitaminute! Lee crawls up behind Stu, and hooks him for a Schoolboy Rollup! As the Syni-tron goes dead, Julio is right there for the count... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men scramble back to their feet... and Stu catches Lee with an Armdrag to the mat! Stu turns Lee over onto his back, and now he's slapping his chest and legs, Iron Shiek style. He's signalling for The Solution! He straddles Lee and reaches down to apply the Tazmission... but Lee counters with a Snap Mare from the floor!

Jim: Wow! That took a lot of leverage to do that, and it looks like Lee paid the price.

Gallivan: Lee is grasping the small of his back as he stands up. He may have pulled a muscle pulling off that awkward move.

Jim: He'll have to make another appointment with Dr. Feelgood after this one.

Gallivan: The crowd is cheering for Lee now, but they were giving Stu a decent reaction as well. He's been screwed over by Holbrook just as badly, maybe even worse than Lee.

Jim: Don't forget. This is Stu's home-away-from-hometown crowd.

Gallivan: Stu is back to his feet, but Lee Fireman Carries him onto his back as he gets up... SPICOLLI DRIVER BY LEE TODD!!!

Jim: Career over!

Gallivan: Lee looks a little hesitant, but goes for the cover anyway... 1... 2... 3! No! Stu kicked a leg out onto the bottom rope at the last second!

Jim: That was close. Lee Todd: "Career Killer" they'll call him.

Gallivan: Lee is back up and grabs Stu by the foot, dragging him out to the middle of the ring. He steps in for a Spinning Toehold... BUT STU FIRES OUT A KICK THAT CONNECTS WITH LEE'S KNEECAP TO BREAK THE HOLD! He fires off another kick from the ground, catching Lee's other knee that hobbles him, but Lee doesn't go down! Stu pulls himself up to his feet, and bounces off the ropes... STUN CUTTER BY STU-E PRICE!!! Stu nailed that modified diamond cutter and stunner and now he is slowly crawling across towards Lee Todd.

Jim: New champ! New champ!

Gallivan: Stu covers Lee for the lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Stu pulled Lee's shoulders up off the canvas!

Jim: What? Is he nuts?

[Stu falls onto his back, dragging Lee on top of him. The crowd immediately starts to boo, and Julio just shrugs and drops down to administer the count.]

Gallivan: 1.... 2.... 3! Julio is calling for the bell, and we've got yet another UK Crew sham on our hands!

Jim: Ok, I'm confused now Gallivan.

Gallivan: Stu drags himself to his feet and now he's calling for a mic. The crowd is booing heartily here, and Stu is actually laughing!

[A ring attendant hands Stu the microphone as Lee rolls into a corner, waiting for his wits to return to him.]

Stu-E: Tell me how it feels to be as dumb as conjoined featus siamese twins because that is exactly how dumb and stupid you guys are. I worked all of this out to get me out of my stupid contract here so that I can wrestle in FHW full-time, and it worked perfectly. Fact is the plan was absolutely STUNNING!

[Trash starts to rain into the ring, but Stu doesn't appear to be bothered with it.]

Stu-E: And now my friends I bid my farewell from this place, why? Because FHW SIMPLY ARE BETTER THAN YOU!!!

Gallivan: Fans, over the past few weeks, we've seen a complete mockery of the squared circle from Stu Price, and this is just the icing on the cake. At least we've seen the last of him on UWS television.

Jim: Well, I can't watch him on FHW either. My TV only goes up to channel 255, and I think they're being aired on some UHF station.

Gallivan: Lee Todd has dragged himself back to his feet, and he watches on as Stu proceeds to taunt these Seattle fans. He doesn't look very pleased with Mr. Price right now.

[Stu turns back to Lee, who starts to advance on him.]

Stu-E: (holding up a hand) Hold on there, Lee. I don't want any hard feelings between us. I had to do what I had to do to get out of that airtight contract that Johnny Lassiter had me locked into. Although we both know that had this match gone to its conclusion, I would have taken away your title. But we are still crew... right dog?

[Stu tucks the mic into his tights, and holds out his arms for a hug. Lee looks to the fans and they voice their displeasure with Stu Price.]

Gallivan: Lee is understandably pissed, but I can see why Stu did what he did, I just don't like the way he did it.

Jim: Come on, give him a break Gallivan. Stu's not such a bad guy.

Gallivan: Lee shakes his head to Stu, then steps in to give him a hug. These fans don't like it at all. Hang on! Stu grabs Lee forcefully, trying for a Belly-to-belly Suplex... but Lee holds on! He breaks his arms free and grabs Stu... TOSSING HIM ACROSS THE RING FOR A BELLY-TO-BELLY OF HIS OWN!!!

Jim: That turned the fans around!

Gallivan: Stu rolls clear across the ring, and slides to the floor in front of us. Waitaminute! He grabs Lee's Hardcore Title!

[Stu circles the ring with the belt in one hand and the microphone in the other, shouting as he runs down the entrance ramp.]

Stu-E: Yoink! This baby is going to FHW TV with me suckers!!!

Gallivan: Lee slides out of the ring and charges after Stu, who slams on the brakes... AS TUMBLER STEPS THROUGH THE ENTRANCE CURTAIN IN FRONT OF HIM! He's wearing Lee's Tag Team Title, so he must have got it back from Sean Lassiter and Dake Ken. He comes at Stu, who drops the mic and hurdles the steel guardrail, charging off through the crowd! Lee and Tumbler reach the railing at the same time, and now both men are chasing him! Fans, we are out of time, but what a wild show. If Tumbler and Lee don't catch up with Stu, then he would very well take that belt to FHW with him!

[The show cuts to a wide shot of the announce table. To Jim Browski's right is the pile of Lee's belts, including the pieces of the Unified Title. Jim has a sheaf of paper in front of him.]

Jim: Johnny, before we go off the air, I've got a press release that I have to read.

Gallivan: What is it?

Jim: It's a statement regarding a return of an incredible wrestler at Fool's Gold in two weeks time. It reads, "Foolish denizens of the Underworld Wrestling Syndicate, the combined weight of the horrors I've authored would crush your carbon hearts into perfect diamonds of terror."

Gallivan: Wow. Is that a quote from Daemon Krav?

Jim: Nope, it's from none other than "Better than Jesus" Gary Frat. Frat returns at Fool's Gold! Think of the buy-rates!!!

[Jim beams a smile at the camera, but Johnny Gallivan just shakes his head in disbelief. The end credits for Blackened start to roll as an image of a giant pot of gold covered in barbed wire appears above it with the legend, "UWS Fool's Gold III: May 11, 2003."]

[As the credits fade, the show cuts to a camera situated backstage. Sin, Hellfire, and "Punisher" Scott Lenoir are hanging out by one of the exits when Stu Price jogs by, toting his wrestling gear. There is a suspicious bulge under his jacket.]

Lenoir: So, Stu. I take it you lost?

Stu-E: (glancing over his shoulder nervously) You guys didn't see the match? Yeah, I lost. I'll see you guys around.

[Stu walks past them, and pushes open an exit door.]

Hellfire: (laughing) Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, Stu.

Lenoir: Speaking of your ass, you better watch it where you're going. I heard those FHW boys play rough, if you catch my meaning.

[As Stu walks out, Tumbler and Lee Todd break around the corner, gasping for breath.]

Tumbler: Stop that man!

[Stu tears off through the door, but Hellfire and Lenoir step in front of it to block Lee and Tumbler's chase.]

Todd: Get the hell out of my way!

[Lee barrels into Hellfire, knocking him into and through the fire door and out onto the pavement. Tumbler follows his lead and jumps at Lenoir, and the two start brawling as they tumble out of the building. Sin just looks on as they brawl, looking very pleased as he watches closely. Amidst the chaos, the show fades to black.]