[The preceding program goes off the air. Then, in a dramatic animated fashion, the letters "U" "W" "S" slam into view from a green screen. Shortly after the words "Iron Man" are displayed below the letters, and even shortly after that the word "Rumble" is displayed under that. This display is set up beautifully, with great artwork so far.]

Voice: The Underworld Wrestling Syndicate proudly brings to you the fourth event of the Iron Man Competition, the Iron Man Rumble! Featuring such wrestlers as Dr. Karate, Uesugi, the Native, Paco!...

[In reference to their names cartoon drawings of the four wrestlers appear on the screen. Dr. Karate and Uesugi both throwing a chop and kick respectively, the Native looking all... nativy, and Paco making himself look big and growling. All of the drawings, of course, are very unproportional. The oversized head and the simple frame for the body. However, Paco is obviously bigger than the other three.]

Voice: ... Shane Brandon, Michael Burke, and Edmund Paine!

[Brandon, depicted in a suit and sunglasses, throws a few punches, while Michael Burke, covered in bandages and medical tape, holds a chair over his head. Edmund Paine, disturbingly, is facing the side of the screen, slightly bent at the knees and waist, looking over his shoulder in "innocence." To make matters worse, he's got one finger over a "shhing" mouth.]

Voice: Not to mention the UKCrew, consisting of Stu Price, Tumbler, and Lee Todd!...

[Tumbler cartwheels, jumps, and bounces all over the screen before coming to a stop, and Stu Price, oddly enough, is seen throwing money away. Meanwhile, Lee Todd is grabbing his crotch with one hand and flipping the bird with the other. He suddenly raises his hands in an "I didn't mean it, seriously" fashion as we press on.]

Voice: ... The newest entries Craig Lassiter and Curtis Slamm!...

[Craig Lassiter runs out in a Shinobi outfit, without the mask, and swings a Kendo Stick around. Curtis Slamm, however, exits a limousine after it comes to a screaming halt.]

Voice: And who can forget such wrestlers as Sin, and UWS World Champion Kurt Tremere!...

[Sin thumps a bible in his hand, and then points to the screen menacingly. Kurt Tremere lets off an evil grin while he's holding a cartooned depiction of the UWS Championship Belt.]

Voice: The Sentinel, Gabriel Blade!!...

[The Sentinel runs out, all smiles, and throws a few fists. He then throws his fist high in the air in a "yeah!" fashion.]

Voice: And the man recently voted most likely to win the whole damn thing, the Ultimate Model of Perfection, Brian Thorn!!!

[Unlike all the other cartoony drawings, Brian Thorn is actually drawn quite accurately. Anybody looking at the picture would commend the piece of art for it's realism. Thorn climbs a small, stairlike platform. At closer inspection, the platform is actually a three tier stage used to resemble what the winner and two runner ups would be standing on. Thorn stands on the top, and raises both arms in an accepting manner, flashing the drawn version of the million-dollar smile. As the Narrator continues speaking, all of the wrestlers join together in a brawl. Classic Batman "whacks" "biffs" and "zonks" come up on the screen, as the sixteen competitors fight in a cloud of cartoon smoke.]

Voice: Watch as they all compete to win the Iron Man Rumble, and advance in the Iron Man Tournament. Watch as these great performers put on the most exciting show the UWS has to offer so far, and as Brian Thorn continues his dominance not only in the tournament, but as a professional wrestler and a person. Either be there or check your local listings for the next UWS Blackened from the George Muller Stadium in Chicago, Illinois, February 28th!

[As the commercial fades, the words "Paid for by Thorn Enterprises" appear on the screen. This goes black, and is replaced after a few seconds by a now familiar warning screen.]

"The following program contains scenes of violence, coarse language, sexual scenes, offensive images, racial stereotypes, mature delicacies, drug use, anarchistic behavior, at least one thinly veiled reference to homosexuality (see if you can spot it!), and large unruly men in tight spandex. Viewer discretion is strongly advised."

"No, we mean it. These guys are seriously messed up in the head. It's not their fault. They all come from broken homes... especially Eric."

[The warning fades and the logo for the Underworld Wrestling Syndicate's Friday Night Blackened appears on the screen, accompanied by a cover version of "Blackened", originally by Metallica. The show cuts to the inside of a rather large arena which is very nearly full. The Syni-tron lights up to show clips from the previous show. Sean Lassiter is shown waving to the fans while wearing a neckbrace in the UWS ring. This cuts to show Sin hitting Michael Burke with a double stomp off the top rope. Another clip shows Tumbler hitting the Terrible Tumble onto Paco. A quick shot shows Gabriel Blade being attacked by the masked Shinobi in Holbrook's empty office. Shane Brandon is shown hitting the Native with the Promise, and this cuts to show Brandon hitting Tremere with a missile dropkick in the face. The end of the third teamwork match is shown, where Stu-E Price nails Uesugi with the Perfectplex while Slamm tackles Dr. Karate on his way into the ring. A montage of shots from the main event are shown. Lee Todd is shown backdropping Gabriel Blade out of the ring. This cuts to show Thorn hitting Gabe with a baseball slide, forcing him to drop Lee Todd onto himself. Lee is shown garotting Gabe across the top rope, then apologizing to the fans in the front row. Gabe is shown dropping Thorn back-first across the top of the steel guardrail outside the ring. The last shot shows Gabe punishing Thorn with a Boston crab when Lee drop toeholds Edmund Paine, sending the OWF Title into the back of Gabe's head. This fades to a shot of Todd and Thorn with their hands raised in the air.]

[We cut to a live shot of Lee F'n' Todd involved in an unusually civil chat with one of the Janitors back stage. Stood outside a room signposted "official draw do not enter" Lee smiles warmly.]

Todd: You know I could have got in there rigged the draw, but well I'm a face now and would never resort to something so unjust. Besides I'm Lee F'n' Todd unlike Thorn I'm confident of my chances without having to sweeten the pot.

[The Jannitor looks up from his mopping a twinkle in his eye.]

Janitor: If I were you I'd have cheated son, that Blade kid's pretty good.

Todd: Well too late now.

[As he turns to leave the Janitor inadvertantly catches his arm, as a small white ball rolls out of Lee's pocket and out on to the floor the Janitor gives a knowing nod.]

Janitor: A face now huh, they haven't made the draw yet so how would you explain number fifteen down there, and whilst we're on the subject why not sixteen dear boy?

Todd: Well first of all that ball's not mine these are Tumblers pants you see, but if they were mine and if I were to make an attempt to pick my number I'd be wise to avoid the last number, as history dictates my blue collered friend last man out never wins, never has and never will.

[Smiling he grins pointing to his shirt.]

Todd: But I reiterate my earlier point I could have rigged the draw but I won't cus I'm a face now.

[Smiling he pats the Janitor on the back before retreiving his number 15 ball, and fleeing the scene of the crime.]

[The show cuts to a shot of a small breakroom. Cid is sitting on a bench scratching his thumbnail across a table in front of him. The camera pulls back to show Zeke sitting across from Cid, rolling a cigarette on the smooth surface of the table.]

Cid: I don't know.

Zeke: What do you mean, you don't know? Cid, people have been talking about you. They've been saying that you're just a puppet. They say that Holbrook runs the UWS, and tells you what to do.

Cid: But that's not true!

Zeke: I know it's not true, but they don't know that, dude. You didn't disappoint when the OWF Title went vacant, did you?

Cid: No, I guess not.

Zeke: When Gabriel Blade and Brian Thorn were trying to kill each other in Jester's Pyramid, who called for that cage door to be opened early?

Cid: I did.

Zeke: Right on, dude.

Cid: But this is... well, this is different. Johnny could get really pissed off.

Zeke: Johnny Lasssiter is only worried about the bottom line. What does he care what goes on in the fed? A good president has to stand up for what he believes in, right? He's gotta be looking out for the little guy, right? He's gotta level the playing field so that those fans all go home with a smile on their face, right?

Cid: I guess so.

Zeke: Dude!

Cid: No, you're right, Zeke! I'm the OWF Prez, it's damn time I started acting like it.

Zeke: Right on! The Iron Man is a joint LWA/OWF event, right?

Cid: Right! Ok, dammit. I'm going to the ring!

[Cid jumps up from the bench and strides out of the room. Zeke brings the cigarette up to his lips, and licks the end to seal it off. Sticking it behind his ear, he stands up just as Craig Lassiter walks into the room.]

Lassiter: Well?

Zeke: Went just like you said it would, boss.

Lassiter: (smiling) Good. Come on, let's go scout the talent before the big match.

[Both men casually walk out of the room.]

[The show cuts back to ringside as the Syni-tron fades into darkness and the show cuts to several pans of the cheering fans before cutting to a wide shot of the UWS announce table.]

Gallivan: What on earth could Cid have planned? And I think Lee Todd's motives are in question once again.

Jim: I got a question. Why is he wearing Tumbler's pants?

Gallivan: Good evening, wrestling fans, and welcome to Blackened! I'm Johnny Gallivan, and with me, as always, is Jim "The Killer" Browski. Jim, I see you are still wearing your Curtis Slamm T-shirt.

Jim: Sure am. I'm still disturbed by the breakup of Brandon/Tremere, but after seeing Curtis Slamm and Stu-E Price working together like that, it's helping me to deal with it.

Gallivan: Speaking of Stu Price, the insolent Brit dropped a bombshell last Blackened when he announced that he was giving his Iron Man points to Brian Thorn. We still haven't got an official decision on whether or not this will stand. If it does, Brian Thorn will be clearly in the lead of the Iron Man with 34 points.

Jim: That would have been more than enough points to get a Bronze Medal in the 2001 Iron Man, so things don't look good for the rest of the competitors.

["Blackened" begins to play as Cid steps through the entrance curtain and makes his way to the ring. He already has a microphone in his hand, and looks very serious.]

Gallivan: It looks like we won't have to wait for Cid's speech. Cid seemed rather riled up backstage. I wonder what's on his mind.

Jim: I'm guessing that hat is on his mind... and little else.

Gallivan: Well, Ken Holbrook hasn't been seen yet tonight, so I guess Cid is in charge.

[Cid holds the microphone uncomfortably, then speaks.]

Cid: Hello fans. Now, I never asked to be OWF President... it just kind of fell in my lap.

Jim: Reminds me of my fourth wife.

Gallivan: Shhhh.

Cid: But since I've been president, I've tried to do the right thing. I made few decisions that I thought were for the good of the fed. Being president isn't a popularity contest, and some people aren't going to like the decisions I have to make... but I'm ok with that.

Jim: Well, as long as he's ok with it...

Cid: Now, I'm here to announce that the random numbers for the Iron Man Rumble are indeed random. I took a look at the original numbers, and some things looked really fishy. So, I had Donnie Rose do the numbers, with no input from anyone else. He drew the names out of a hat, and the new numbers seem much better.

Gallivan: Is he saying that the original numbers had been tampered with?

Jim: Sit your ass down, Jimmy Olson. He said nothing of the sort. I wonder if that was before or after Lee managed to sneak off with #15.

Cid: Also, in order to make the Iron Man Competition as competitive as possible, I've had to add a new rule to the existing set of rules. No competitor may transfer his points to any other competitor, under any circumstances.

Jim: What?!

Cid: This means that Stu-E Price is not allowed to sell or give away his points, and they will remain with him, whether he chooses to continue in the Iron Man or not.

[Again, the crowd cheers at the announcement.]

Gallivan: Well, I guess that sorts that out. Good thing, too.

Cid: Just so everybody is sure, Curtis Slamm will still get Dake Ken's points because Slamm is replacing him in the competition. At this point in the event, there will be no more substitutions allowed. If a wrestler is unable to continue in the tournament, his bracket in the Iron Man Tournament will stay empty.

[The crowd starts to boo as Brian Thorn steps into the arena and heads for the ring.]

Jim: Now Cid is gonna find out what it's like to be a president in the UWS. He's gonna get taught a Perfect lesson.

[Thorn climbs into the ring, and just as Cid is about to speak, he bats the microphone out of his hand. Cid backs into the corner as the fans begin to boo Thorn.]

Gallivan: Thorn is giving Cid a piece of his mind, but our camera mics aren't close enough to hear what he's got to say.

Jim: You can bet he's not swapping recipes with him. Cid is about to get kabonged.

[Cid tries to step through the ropes, but Thorn grabs him roughly by the collar, prompting more boos from the fans. Then, the fans turn, causing Thorn to look around.]

Gallivan: It's the Sentinel!

[Thorn takes up a fighting stance as Gabe charges the ring. Gabe slides under the bottom rope, and moves towards Thorn, but Thorn just drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring. He walks around the ring, heading back down the entrance ramp while keeping an eye on Gabe.]

Jim: Thorn's saving his energy for the Rumble. That's something Gabe should know by now.

Gallivan: Well, it's a good thing Gabe came out here, or Cid might have really gotten hurt. Thorn isn't contracted by either division, and has been allowed to run around unchecked in the UWS, thanks in part to Joh--

Jim: Don't say it!

Gallivan: Johnn--

Jim: Conjecture!!!

[The show cuts backstage, where a still fuming Thorn is walking through the entrance curtain. Then, Bonnie Bellows bumps into Thorn while trying to rush past him.]

Brian Thorn: Hey!

Bonnie: Sorry. Oh, Mr. Thorn.

[Bonnie reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a red card with the UWS logo and a number written on it. She hands it to Thorn.]

Bonnie: Here's your draw for the Rumble.

Brian Thorn: (looking at it) You've got to be kidding me.

Bonnie: No joke. Good luck.

[Thorn just stares at the card as Bonnie rushes off. Then, Lee Todd walks by, polishing off a bottle of beer while he talks on a cellphone. Lee slaps Thorn across the back with a smile on his face.]

Todd: Hey bud... I heard about you losing those points. Tough break.

[As Lee walks past Thorn, he finishes off the beer, and tosses the empty into a garbage bin. Lee then stops, retrieves the bottle from the garbage and puts it in the nearby recycle bin instead, then jerks a thumb towards his "I'm a Face Now" T-shirt, before continuing on his way.]

Brian Thorn: Lee!

[He stops, and muffles the phone with his free hand as Thorn walks up to him.]

Brian Thorn: Lee, did you get your number for the Rumble yet?

Todd: Yep, Bonnie just gave it to me.

Brian Thorn: Want to trade?

Todd: I don't know. Let me see what you got?

[Thorn holds out the card, and Lee starts to laugh.]

Todd: No thanks!

[Lee walks off, still laughing as Thorn fumes and heads off in another direction.]

Gallivan: It doesn't look like Thorn's night.

[The cameras follow Lee down the hall as he goes back to his cellphone.]

Todd: I'm back. Now what do you mean they rejected the deal Ron?

[Pacing up and down he looks most agitated.]

Todd: Did they not see my spirited performance at the Kareoke bar these vocals are golden.

[Pause.]

Todd: Screw it if Interscope won't release "Lee F'n' Todd F*cks up your songs", I'll find some one else to. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some public service work to do.

[Lee puts away his phone and walks into a room marked "special guests." The camera follows him inside. In the room, there are about 20 old women, seated at tables. Lee moves to the front of the room and steps up behind a microphone and next to a large, blue machine. Lee taps on the mic.]

Todd: Good evening ladies. I'm sorry about the delay, but I've finally found the 15.

[Lee pulls the white ball with 15 written on it that he retrieved earlier, and plops it into the machine. Flicking a switch, the machine comes to life, and starts firing the balls around inside a glass enclosure. The ladies pull out their dabbers and Lee fires off a smile.]

Todd: Our first game tonight will be the small pictureframe... the small pictureframe. Cards ready... here we go.

[Lee pulls the first of the balls out of the machine.]

Todd: Under the B... 7. That's B7...

[The show cuts to Gabriel Blade, as he returns to his locker room after the incident with Thorn and Cid to find it already occupied. Standing in the center of the room giving it a thorough once over is a handsome brown haired man in a very fashionable, impeccably tailored suit. Without so much as a glance at Gabe, he speaks.]

Man: You know, a performer of your caliber really should hold out for better accommodations than this.

Gabriel Blade: (somewhat put off) Who are you?

Man: (turning to Gabe and smiling) Oh, just a fan.

Gabriel Blade: How did you get backstage?

Man: Oh, I have... connections.

Gabriel Blade: And what are you doing in my locker room?

Man: I just came to congratulate you on your performance to date in the iron man tournament, to wish you luck tonight, and to let you know that if you need anything, anything at all, I would be happy to lend a hand.

Gabriel Blade: Look, buddy, I don't even know who you are and you come into my locker room uninvited making strange offers? I don't think so, I've got a match to get ready for. I think it's time you leave.

[Gabe turns his back on the man and walks over to his stuff, rummaging through his duffel bag and ignoring the man entirely as he walks over to the door. Before leaving, the man turns back to speak.]

Man: I can help you, Mr. Blade, if you'll just let me.

[Gabe pauses and lifts his head, a puzzled look on his face. Something about that seemed very familiar. The man smiles an odd little smile and walks out the door.]

[The show cuts back to rinside as "My Friend of Misery" by Metallica begins to play. It has a short Bass solo in the begining. After that a hard cord rips over the PA system and Dake walks out from behind the curtain. He stands looking at the crowd. Dake starts to walk towards the ring. He slides in to the ring and sits on the top turnbuckle as someone from the ring crew hands him a mic.]

Jim: I thought we were gonna have a wrestling match or two here tonight?

Gallivan: We will... eventually. But right now, Dake Ken looks like he's got something to say.

Dake Ken: Alright, it's been a while since I've ever come out to the ring to talk, and boy, do I have a lot to say. I'm not going to take up much time. I've been through the worst time in my pro wrestling career here. So bad, so so bad. I'm in a slump that is almost impossible to dig out. Sure it's just a few losses, but I DON'T LOSE. I'm here to say this, I'm not going to make the stupid choices anymore. I'm not going to make a challenge I'm not ready for. I'm not going to make my life a hell to get screwed over. I really don't think that you people want to see me go down either. So, after a long talk with my friend, Ice, I decided to come back. Give it a shot. So were going to give it a go. We're going to make sure we don't screw up. We're going to make sure we're not going to make a wrong choice. We're going to make sure we look like a jackass on national television!! We--

[Dake is cut off by "The God That Failed" by Metallica. There's a bass solo and as the music starts in, and Ice shows up. He walks down the ramp. He's pretty pissed. He hops up on the apron and steps in between the ropes. He walks over to Dake as pulls him off the turnbuckle. Dake looks at him, furiously. Ice takes the mic and talks.]

Ice: We? We? Who the hell is we? What the hell do you think you're talking about we? I'm not going to help you through any of this, you said you didn't want it. You need to snap out of your pshyco state of mind and get your head back on your damn sholders.

[Ice slaps Dake who keeps his head turned. Dake snaps his head back and rips the mic from Ice as he's about to say something again.]

Dake Ken: You don't even let me try to get something going. You come out here like I'm talkin' serious. You idiot. You just made me look like a jackass again. You know what I'm gonna make my first good choice since I've been here.

[As Ice nods to the things Dake says, Dake ducks under Ice's arm and puts his on his chest. Dake lifts him up high and drops him with a Uranage.]

Jim: Bang bang!

Gallivan: This crowd finally perked up as Dake Ken lays out his manager, Ice.

Jim: He calls that move, "My Never Ending Effect."

Gallivan: Dake Ken looks down at Ice, and shakes his head. Waitaminute! It's Sean Lassiter!

[The opening of "Conquistador" begins to play, but quickly cuts short as Sean Lassiter appears at the entrance curtain. He is dressed to wrestle, in white wrestling trunks and white boots. He has a microphone in hand.]

Gallivan: Well, Sean is booked to wrestle here tonight, so we assumed that he'd been cleared by the doctors, but it's good to see him standing there without that neckbrace, nevertheless.

Sean: If you could hang on just one second, Dake Ken, I'd appreciate it.

Jim: He's so nice, you just want to eat him up.

[Dake Ken waits patiently in the ring as he watches Lassiter.]

Sean: I've just been told by Donnie Rose that Delta Nine isn't in the arena tonight.

[The crowd gives a slightly disappointed murmur.]

Sean: Apparently, he said that he wouldn't wrestle in Chicago if his life depended on it.

[The crowd boos, loudly this time.]

Sean: (holding up his arms) Hey, I didn't say it! I love Chicago!

[Sean grins as the fans turn back to his side.]

Sean: But I finally received my clearance to wrestle, but I find myself without an opponent. Dake, you say you want to start over, well tonight I'm starting over as well. How about stepping into the ring against me, later tonight?

[The crowd gives a favorable reaction, and Dake Ken just looks out over the crowd. Dake backs away from the ropes and picks up the microphone.]

Dake Ken: You're on! But forget later tonight... let's do it now!

Gallivan: Well, these fans are fully behind this one, so it looks like we will be having a match afterall, Jim.

Jim: Dammit! He can't take on Sean. All my notes are for Delta Nine, not Dake Ken.

Gallivan: Jim, can't you ad lib?

Jim: Ad lib? What do you think this is, alternative comedy? This ain't second city, Gallivan. I'll just replace Delta Nine with Dake Ken on my cheat-sheet. I'm sure that'll work.

Gallivan: Oh dear. The ring crew is dragging Ice out of the ring area, and Sean is headed towards the ring. No intros, no elaborate entrances, just old fashioned wrestling. The way only the UWS can do it.

Gallivan: Sean spoke to us two weeks ago, and I'm shocked that he's been cleared to wrestle as early as now. By Sean's own admission, he's still not at 100%, but the doctors say that it's safe for him to get back in the ring, so that's all the impetus he needed.

Jim: Forget Lassiter. I'm sick of hearing about Lassiters. Let's talk about Delta Nine... I mean Dake Ken. I've heard a lot of talk about this guy in the last week.

Gallivan: Really?

Jim: Aw, screw it. I'll talk about Delta Nine in a Dake Ken match.

Gallivan: There you go, King.

Jim: Gallivan, you ever call me King again, and I'll have your guts for garters. Now, where was I? Yes, my sources tell me that Delta Nine was in contract negotiations with FHW before he was snapped up by Holbrook. Another potential superstar makes the right career decision.

Gallivan: DI Rogers has finally made it to the ring, and we are ready to go. Sean is giving up a lot of size against Dake Ken, but he's never been one to back down from a fight.

Jim: Yeah, and look where that got him. He got used by Sin as a stud-finder.

Gallivan: They lock up, and Dake Ken applies a Side Headlock, but Sean bounces him off the ropes to break the hold. Dake Ken comes back, and Lassiter hits the canvas. Dake criss-crosses as Sean bounces back to his feet... Backdrop by Sean Lassiter!

Jim: Sean's moving pretty well, considering his injuries.

Gallivan: He sure is. Both men are up, and Dake Ken walks into a Side Headlock. Sean cranks down on Ken's ears, but he hoists Sean off the mat... DROP BACK SUPLEX BY DAKE KEN!

Jim: Ow!

Gallivan: Sean immediately bails out of the ring, and this doesn't look good. Sean is down on one knee outside the ring, and holding the back of his neck. DI Rogers heads outside to check on him. I hope he hasn't returned to the ring prematurely.

Jim: Premature gags aside, Sean came down hard on that neck. If he's not 100%, then he doesn't belong in a UWS ring... it's as easy as that.

Gallivan: Sean is shaking his head, and you can tell he's in some pain, but he's telling Rogers that he wants to continue. Rogers rolls back into the ring, and starts to put a count on Sean. Sean climbs back in, and Dake Ken lets him come in through the ropes before locking up again. Ken Irish Whips Sean hard into the turnbuckle! Sean staggers out as Dake Ken charges in... dropping Sean with a Lariat!!! Sean bounces back to his feet and backs into the corner... and he's calling for time!

Jim: That's it, this kid isn't ready to return. Rogers should stop this match right here.

Gallivan: Rogers comes in, and Sean is furious! He's shouting at the ref, and I've never seen this side of him before. Hang on! Sean pushes past Rogers and now he's shoving Dake Ken!

Jim: Man, I'd like to hear what he's saying. I wonder if Mr. Goody Two-shoes knows any cuss words.

Gallivan: Sean shakes his head as Dake Ken just takes the abuse. Waitaminute! Ken boots Sean in the midsection, and cinches him for what looks like a Powerbomb! He hoists him up into a Crucifix Powerbomb position...

Jim: That'll snap his neck for sure.

Gallivan: No! Sean squirms out of the move, falling to the mat behind Dake Ken! He hooks Ken from behind... Schoolboy Rollup! Sean's got a handful of tights!!! Rogers drops for the count... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men scramble to their feet, and Dake boots Sean in the midsection again. He cinches him up... PUMP-HANDLE SLAM BY DAKE KEN!!! Dake grabs Sean's leg, and folds him in half for the cover... 1... 2... 3! Rogers calls for the bell, and this one is over, as fast as that!

Jim: Nice cover by Dake Ken. He wanted to get this match over fast, so he just used his power advantage to keep Sean's shoulders on the canvas.

Gallivan: Dake Ken slides out of the ring to decent applause, and heads backstage. Waitaminute! Sean Lassiter is up, and he's calling for a mic. Sean's still holding the back of his neck, but he looks much calmer than he did a few minutes ago.

Sean: Dake... wait.

[Dake Ken stops halfway down the ramp, and slowly turns around. He has a very serious look on his face.]

Sean: I really have to apologize, Dake. I lost it there, the second I felt pain in my neck again. You won fair and square, and I really shouldn't have behaved like that. It's not very professional. I'm sorry.

[Sean drops the microphone and walks up to meet Ken on the ramp. He holds out his hand, and Dake hesitates, but then shakes it. Sean holds Ken's arm up to the fans, who give him a cheer. Dake Ken slaps Sean on the shoulder, then heads backstage.]

Jim: Wasn't that heartwarming?

Gallivan: Sometimes you forget just how difficult this business can be. But there's two youngsters who seem to be on the right track.

[The show cuts backstage to a small dressing room. Dr. Karate is ironing his labcoat on a small table and Uesugi is doing stomach crunches on the floor. There is a knock at the door.]

Dr. Karate: Get that, would ya?

[Uesugi rolls his eyes as he jumps to his feet, and opens the door. Bonnie Bellows glances in, and sees both men, then retrieves a pair of red cards from her pocket.]

Bonnie: Uesugi, this one is yours, and this is Dr. Karate's number for the Rumble.

[Uesugi gives her a polite bow after taking the cards and she rushes off. Uesugi pockets one of the cards and hands the other to Dr. Karate.]

Dr. Karate: Ah, about time. (he glances at the card) What the heck is this?

[Uesugi drops to the floor, and goes right back to his situps.]

Dr. Karate: What number have you got?

[Uesugi stops in mid-situp, and places his finger up to his lips to indicate silence.]

Dr. Karate: Come on, blind trade. I'll take your number, and you can have mine.

Uesugi: (returning to his exercise) Nope.

Dr. Karate: Nope? Nope? Who taught you how to say nope? You haven't been hanging around Zeke again, have you? Was it Dr. Zamboolah? No, he can barely speak english himself.

[He is responded with silence. Dr. Karate looks down at the card again, and fires it against a locker. He grudgingly goes back to ironing his labcoat.]

Dr. Karate: Stupid karma.

[The show cuts to another backstage camera, where Ken Holbrook is standing in a hallway, talking to Curtis Slamm. Holbrook seems to be doing all the talking, and Slamm appears to be looking for a way out of the conversation.]

Holbrook: ... so then she hikes up her skirt... and she's got a wooden leg!

[Ken starts to laugh, and Slamm just gives him a polite smile. He tries to leave, but stops when Stu-E Price turns around the corner and starts to walk down the hallway.]

Holbrook: Oh, Stu, come here a minute.

[Stu looks a little taken aback, but heads over anyway.]

Holbrook: Listen you two. I was impressed with your performance in the Teamwork Event. Out of all the teams, I think you guys have got what it takes to spice up the UWS Tag Team division. (he puts his hand on Stu's shoulder) Now Stu, I know you are... how do you people put it?... extracting the michael...

Stu-E: (looking confused) Extracting the Michael?

Holbrook: Yes... I know you are "extracting the Michael" from the UWS with all your pro-FHW speeches, but I don't have a problem with that. Unlike the United States of America, the UWS is an open organization that promotes free speech, and a little healthy criticism never hurt anyone. I think we all know that it's only temporary, and you'll soon come to your senses and leave FHW for good.

Stu-E: (pushing away Holbrook's hand) Come to my senses?

Holbrook: Well, maybe my delivery was a little curt, but the spirit was there. I think a UWS Title would renew your faith in the greatest fed in the world, Stu. So, I'm letting you guys know that you are now the #1 contenders for the UWS Tag Team Titles, and will be facing the winner of tonight's match between the Todd brothers and Burke and Blade.

Slamm: When?

Holbrook: Well, that hasn't been sorted yet, what with all this Iron Man stuff. But, I assure you that you will get the first title defense, and you won't have to wait long. So, boys. Good luck in the Rumble, and think "teamwork!"

[Ken beams a smile and flashes two "thumbs-up" at the pair before walking off. Stu and Slamm both look at each other with rather stern facial expressions.]

Slamm: Well, you know what we've got to do, right?

Stu-E: You better believe it.

Slamm: Ok then, I'll see you out there.

[Stu heads off in one direction and Slamm in another. Before he can get too far, Bonnie Bellows runs up to him.]

Bonnie: Mr. Slamm!

Slamm: (turning around) Yes?

Bonnie: Your number for the Rumble, sir.

[She hands Curtis Slamm a little red card and the camera just just barely pick out the UWS logo on it, but it's too quick to actually see the number. Bonnie rushes off in the other direction to catch up with Stu. Slamm takes a look at his card and nods.]

Slamm: Yes, this will do nicely.

[The show cuts back to the announce table.]

Gallivan: I can't believe it! Ken Holbrook is trying to buy Stu off!

Jim: What?

Gallivan: He's giving Stu a shot at the tag titles to try and lure him away from FHW.

Jim: No, no, no. You completely missed the point. Ken knows a good team when he sees one. The man is a former tag team champion of SWWF. He just sees the potential of Stu and Slamm, so he's putting them to good use. That's the mark of a great president.

Gallivan: And what was that crack about "knowing what to do"?

Jim: He probably just meant that they have to do some training for their upcoming title match.

Gallivan: Well, speaking of tonight's title match, the UK Crew have been sitting on those tag titles for months now, but the time for the rematch is finally at hand. In their first meeting, Gabriel Blade and Michael Burke beat out Lee Todd and Stu-E Price to win the Tag Titles. In the rematch, Todd, Price and Tumbler beat Burke and Blade to take the belts back. But now it will be 2-on-2 as two members of the UK Crew will face Burke and Blade one more time, with those belts on the line.

Jim: It was inevitable. Tony Schiavone would call this a rubber match, but he's a dick, so I'm going to call it a plain old rematch.

Gallivan: Gabriel Blade's feud with Lee Todd is reaching epic proportions, but I think the two men are starting to respect each others abilities. Michael Burke has definitely had his problems with Tumbler, most notably over that Hardcore Title which is once again around Tumbler's waist. Stu has been treated as the red-headed stepchild of the Crew, and hasn't been anywhere near those tag belts since they won them.

Jim: That'll all change when he and Slamm get in that ring.

Gallivan: Will they be taking on Stu's partners, or Blade and Burke? Well, it's time for the tag match, and the lovely Aspen Sandstrum is in the ring.

Aspen: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UWS Tag Team Titles. Coming to the ring at this time, the challengers, at a combined weight of 503 lbs... "DEMOLITION MAN" MICHAEL BURKE AND "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

["And Justice For All" begins to play as the fans begin to cheer. they continue to cheer, but quiet down when it appears obvious that nobody is coming to the ring.]

Jim: Yet another Sentinel no-show. Meet the new Sentinel, same as the old Sentinel.

Gallivan: Hold on fans, I'm being told that we are heading backstage.

[The show cuts to a camera positioned just behind the entrance curtain. Gabriel Blade is standing over a downed Michael Burke, while ring attendants attend to him.]

Jim: What the hell happened here?

Gallivan: I'm being told that Michael Burke was jumped backstage, but I don't know if anyone saw what happened. I'm not sure of his condition, and I'm not even sure this tag match will go ahead afterall.

Jim: Well, Stu Price and Curtis Slamm are in the building. And they are the #1 contenders.

[Suddenly, a figure flies into shot, leaping off a set of scaffolding, and crashing onto Gabriel Blade. It is a man dressed in a black ninja suit with an infinity symbol on his chest.]

Jim: It's Shinobi n!

Gallivan: This Shinobi caught Gabe with a Double Ax-handle off that scaffolding, and now he's stomping on him! Gabe crawls back to his hands and knees... and tackles the Shinobi to the floor! He starts firing lefts and rights into the Shinobi's head... AND NOW GABE IS GOING FOR THE MASK!

Jim: I bet ya it's Craig Lassiter! Or Lee Todd!

Gallivan: Well, I'm willing to bet that it's Brian Thorn. This Shinobi is trying to hold onto the mask... but Gabe rips it clean off! Hold on! He's wearing a second mask underneath! The Shinobi pulls up the bottom of his second mask... AND SPRAYS SOME SORT OF MIST IN GABE'S FACE! The Sentinel rolls over, blinded, and the Shinobi leaps up, and runs off!

Jim: Have black suit, will travel. The Shinobis... guns for hire.

Gallivan: A member of our ring crew is flushing that stuff out of Gabe's eyes, but he still looks pissed. Waitaminute! It's Brian Thorn!

[The camera pulls back to show Brian Thorn leaning against a wall in the background, watching the goings-on.]

Jim: Ha! You owe me $100!

Gallivan: What?

Jim: You said it was Thorn under that mask, but it wasn't.

Gallivan: That doesn't mean you were right either.

Jim: I'm more right than you are.

[The show cuts back to the announce table.]

Gallivan: Fans, I'm not sure what we are doing here. I've been told that a match will go ahead, but we don't know just who will be in it yet. Aspen Sandstrum is in the ring, so let's just listen to the intros.

Aspen: Coming to the ring at this time, the champions, at a combined weight of 462 lbs... LEE F'N' TODD AND TUMBLER!!!

["Sweet Child o' Mine" begins to play as Lee and Tumbler step through the entrance curtain and start walking towards the ring. Both are wearing the tag titles, and Tumbler has the Hardcore Title slung over his shoulder.]

Jim: Tumbler's undefeated, you know.

Gallivan: Yeah, whatever. But, he is the UWS Hardcore Champion. The Hardcore Title has certainly been bandied about as of late, but I think the unconventional aspect of the title makes the position of Hardcore Champ that much more important. There are a ton of former champs who know just how difficult it is to hold onto that belt.

Jim: Don't I know it. I'm a two-time champion you know.

Gallivan: I'm well aware of that.

Aspen: And their opponents. Coming to the ring at this time, at a combined weight of 503 lbs... "DEMOLITION MAN" MICHAEL BURKE AND "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

[Once again, "And Justice for All" begins to play. The fans cheer, and Gabriel Blade steps through the entrance curtain. He walks to the ring alone.]

Gallivan: Well, I don't agree with it, but it looks as if Gabriel Blade is going to take on both Todd brothers himself. The odds have been piled against Gabe since day 1, so this is nothing new. Tumbler is going to start this off against Gabe. The Sentinel is waiting in the corner, preparing himself while Tumbler slowly moves in.

Jim: Gabe fought by himself against Lee and Brian Thorn... and look where that got him. Pride is a dangerous thing, Gallivan. Ask Sin.

Gallivan: Tumbler charges into the corner, but Gabe steps out, booting Tumbler in the ribs! He grabs him by the hair and tights... and tosses Tumbler through the ropes to the outside! Gabe turns around, and he's saying something to Lee. He wants Lee Todd in there!

Jim: Hold on! Tumbler didn't hit the floor. Looks like he's practicing for the Rumble.

Gallivan: Tumbler is on the apron, and quickly climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He gets set, but Gabe turns around. Tumbler leaps off... BUT GABE POWERSLAMS HIM TO THE MAT!!! On the apron, Lee slams onto the top turnbuckle, and reaches out for the tag. Gabe pulls Tumbler to his feet... AND IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO HIS OWN CORNER!

Jim: You wanted in, Lee... you got it.

Gallivan: Lee immediately backs away as Tumbler crashes into the corner. He stares down Gabe in the ring, and tags off to his brother.

Jim: This is what the fans wanted to see.

Gallivan: Gabe moves in, and locks up with Lee in the corner. He Hiptosses Lee out of the corner to the middle of the ring. Lee bounces back up, but Gabe hits him with a stinging Right hand. Gabe Irish Whips Lee off the ropes... but Lee jumps over a telegraphed Backdrop and heads off the far ropes. Gabe spins around as Lee comes back... BUT LEE TAGS HIM WITH A FLYING FOREARM TO THE HEAD!!!

Jim: Ole!

Gallivan: Lee wastes no time as he gets up and bounces off the ropes... dropping a Kneedrop square across Gabe's head! Lee rolls under the bottom rope, stands up, and now he's headed up top! Hold on! Gabe is getting back up! He heads for the corner, where Lee is standing on top, and grabs him! Lee shakes his head in true Nature Boy style... AND GABE GORILLA SLAMS HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE! Gabe bounces off the ropes as Lee stumbles back to his feet... AND SPEARS HIM TO THE CANVAS! Gabe hooks the leg, and here's the count... 1... 2... Kickout!

[While the match continues, Dake Ken steps through the entrance curtain and heads to ringside.]

Jim: What's he doing out here?

Gallivan: Who knows. Gabe picks up Lee, and now he hooks him up for a uranage... but Lee Elbows Gabe in the head to break the hold! Lee fires off another Elbow, then cinches Gabe... REVERSE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP BY LEE TODD!!!

Jim: Now Tumbler wants back in.

Gallivan: Lee fakes a tag to his brother, then pulls his hand back. He climbs through the ropes, and Lee is headed up to the top again! Lee balances on the top as Gabe rolls onto his back in the ring... TOP ROPE FISTDROP BY LEE TODD!!!

Jim: He calls that the "November Rain."

Gallivan: Lee is back up and grabs Gabe by the feet. He flips over, tying up Gabe into a pinning predicament, and here's the count... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: Close, but no cigar.

Gallivan: Waitaminute! Dake Ken just grabbed the Hardcore Title from the timekeeper's table! He immediately bolts towards the backstage area!

Jim: Thief! The preciousssss!

Gallivan: Dake Ken is tearing out of the ring area, and Tumbler sees him leaving. He looks back to where his Hardcore Title had been sitting, and figures out just what's going on! Tumbler drops off the ring apron, and starts to head for the entrance ramp.

[In the ring, Lee sees what's going on, and slides out of the ring, cutting Tumbler off. He stands in front of Tumbler, and starts shouting at him and pointing to the ring apron. Tumbler starts arguing back, and pushes past Lee to head backstage.]

Gallivan: Lee spins around... AND GRABS TUMBLER BY THE EAR!

Jim: Ouch!

Gallivan: He pulls back his little brother, and directs him back to the neutral corner.

Jim: His team has the 2-on-1 advantage, and Lee doesn't want the Hardcore Title to negate that.

Gallivan: Tumbler looks pissed, but I think Lee is talking some sense into him. Hold on! Gabriel Blade is slowly getting to his feet. He charges at Lee, who is now in the corner talking to his partner... AND AVALANCHES LEE INTO THE CORNER! Gabe cinches a rear waistlock, and pulls Lee out of the corner, rolling him up for a cover! DI Rogers drops down for the count... 1... 2... Kickout!

[Then, Curtis Slamm steps through the entrance curtain and casually walks to ringside.]

Jim: Things are getting interesting, Gallivan.

Gallivan: And not in a good way. Lee and Gabe are back up, and Gabe swings... but Lee ducks to counter with a Backslide! Rogers is there for the count... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men scramble back to their feet... AND LEE TODD FIRES OFF A DROPKICK TO THE KNEE ON GABE! Lee applies a very simple Anklelock on Gabe as he reaches back... and tags off to Tumbler! As Lee continues to hold Gabe, Tumbler vaults himself over the top rope... NAILING GABE WITH A LEGDROP! He gets back up and starts stomping on Blade, who is trying to cover up.

[Then, Stu-E Price steps through the curtain and walks to the ring. He winks at a girl in the front row before taking a position outside the ring and watching the match.]

Gallivan: Now what is going on? We've got Stu and Slamm out here, and they are both watching this match very closely.

Jim: Well, they are the #1 contenders, so they are just interested to see who they will be facing.

Gallivan: Tumbler picks up Gabe, and Irish Whips him off the ropes. Hang on! Lee is jarring with Curtis Slamm on the outside, and he's out of position! Gabe slams into Lee... KNOCKING HIM OFF THE APRON INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL! Tumbler comes off the far ropes... and hits Gabe with a Jumping Spinning Elbow to the head! He pulls Gabe back to his feet and cinches him up... SNAP SUPLEX BY TUMBLER! Tumbler is up, and takes a second to pose for the fans before heading to the apron where he climbs up to the top rope. Lee is down on the outside as Tumbler balances on the top. Hold on! Gabe climbs to his feet, and slams into the ropes! Tumbler loses his balance, and drops to a seated position on the top turnbuckle! Gabe climbs up onto the second rope and belts Tumbler with a couple lefts and rights! He cinches him up... OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE BY THE SENTINEL!!!

Jim: The fans enjoyed that.

Gallivan: Gabe and Tumbler are both down while Stu and Slamm look on. DI Rogers puts a count on both men... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... Hold on! Gabe pulls himself to his feet. He picks up Tumbler, and tries to Irish Whip him into a neutral corner... but Tumbler reverses it... but Gabe reverses it... AND TUMBLER RE-REVESES IT! OH! Gabe slammed into DI Rogers in the corner, and Rogers is down! Gabe staggers out of the corner... AND WALKS INTO A SUPERKICK BY TUMBLER!

Jim: That's it! Match over!

Gallivan: Hold on! Stu and Slamm see their opportunity and roll into the ring! They both hunker down in one corner as Tumbler looks on, and Gabriel Blade slowly gets to his feet in the corner. Stu and Slamm charge... CURTIS SLAMM DROPS TUMBLER WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE AND STU PRICE DROPS GABE WITH A RUNNING KNEE TO THE CHEST!!!

Jim: Huh?

Gallivan: Slamm and Stu are up, and they are just staring at each other... and now they are arguing! What is going on? Slamm shoves Stu, who shoves him back, and now they are shouting at each other! Hold on! Lee rolls into the ring and charges across... Dropkicking Stu and Slamm, sending them through the ropes to the outside! Slamm throws up his hands in disgust, and heads backstage, followed by Stu.

Jim: Looks like the #1 contenders aren't exactly on the same page.

Gallivan: That's an understatement. I guess they wanted to hand-pick their opponents, but Stu wanted to help the UK Crew to win, and Slamm wanted Burke and Blade to win. In the ring, Lee picks up Gabriel Blade, and cinches him for a Piledriver... but Rogers is shouting for him to leave the ring! The ref is still groggy, but he's ordering Lee out of the ring. DI Rogers stands up, and puts a count on Tumbler and Gabe... 1... 2... 3...

[Then, Sin steps through the entrance curtain, and starts walking to the ring.]

Jim: Now what is he doing here? This place is like grand central station!

Gallivan: Lee is holding his arm out for the tag. Sin strides to the ring... AND HE TAKES A POSITION ON THE RING APRON! He's actually reaching towards Gabe for the tag!

Jim: Well, it looks like Gabe has a partner if he wants one.

Gallivan: Fans, I have no idea what's going on here, but that's just par for the course here at Blackened. Rogers does a double-take when he sees Sin in the corner, but he just shakes his head and continues his count... 7... 8... 9... Wait! Tumbler rolls onto Gabe, and here's a cover... 1... 2... NO! Gabe got a shoulder up!

Jim: It was a desperation pin, but it saved them from being counted out.

Gallivan: Tumbler is up on his hands and knees and is crawling towards his partner. Gabe looks up from the canvas and sees Sin. He doesn't know quite what to think, not surprisingly. He looks over at Tumbler, who is almost at his corner, and Gabe moves towards Sin! Tumbler tags off to Lee, and Gabe tags in Sin!

Jim: So, can people just show up and wrestle in this fed?

Gallivan: Lee runs in... BUT SIN CATCHES HIM WITH A MAFIA KICK IN THE FACE!!! He grabs Lee, and Irish Whips him off the ropes, but Lee ducks under a Clothesline attempt. He bounces off the far ropes... AND SIN DROPS HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Sin is coming in fresh, and is turning this match around! Tumbler climbs back into the ring as Sin charges... and Sin hits him with a Clothesline as well! He turns around just as Lee is getting to his feet... AND CHOKESLAMS LEE! Tumbler is back up, and Sin grabs him... AND CHOKESLAMS HIM TOO! DI Rogers taps Sin on the shoulder and he spins around... AND CHOKESLAMS DI ROGERS!!!

Jim: Was that intentional?

Gallivan: I can't tell. Rogers rolls out of the ring, and he's calling for the bell! This chaotic mess of a match is over.

[Sin backs up against the ropes and Gabe just shakes his head in disgust as he heads backstage.]

[The show cuts backstage to very shaky camera footage inside a lockeroom. Brian Thorn is standing there with a large pair of wrestling boots on a bench in front of him. He is casually whistling as he puts a pair of rubber gloves on. Thorn reaches into a plastic bag beside him and pulls out two rather large jalapeno peppers. He proceeds to rub down the inside of the boots with the peppers. Once done, Thorn returns the peppers to the bag and then pulls out a small baggie and a pair of tweezers. Opening it, Thorn carefully plucks out a tiny sliver of glass from the baggie and places one in each boot. Returning his tools to the bag, including his rubber gloves, Thorn pulls out a can of "Insta-Bowl Shoe Deodorizer" and gives each boot a generous spray before tossing the whole bag into the trash and carefully placing the boots back into an open locker behind him. Smiling, Thorn shuts the locker door. As he leaves, the camera closes in on the door which has the word, "Sin", written in black lettering on masking tape.]

[The show cuts to another shot of Thorn casucally walking down a hallway, away from Sin's lockerroom. He turns a corner, and walks right into Stu Price.]

Brian Thorn: Hey!

Stu-E: Sorry Thorn, I'm in a bit of a hurry here.

[Stu glances over his shoulder before trying to leave.]

Brian Thorn: Hold on, mister. I want that cash back.

Stu-E: (looking innocent) What cash?

Brian Thorn: You know what cash. Cid reversed the decision, so I want my money back.

Stu-E: Oh, that cash. (he looks up at the ceiling) Um... I spent it.

Brian Thorn: What!? All of it!

Stu-E: Sure... a man's gotta eat.

[Thorn moves forward with lightning quickness, and pins Stu against the wall with one hand. He moves in close and speaks through gritted teeth.]

Brian Thorn: Listen to me, joke-boy.

Voice: Problem boys?

[Thorn turns his head to see Curtis Slamm standing behind him. Thorn releases Stu and gently bumps chests with Slamm. The two of them stare each other down for a few seconds, before Thorn just turns and leaves.]

Brian Thorn: Peasants. (as he walks away) You'll be hearing from my lawyer, Price!

[The camera turns back to show Slamm glaring at Stu Price. before the show cuts to another backstage area, where Lee Todd and Tumbler are creeping around a relatively dark parking garage.]

Tumbler: Do you see him?

Todd: Shhhh!

Tumbler: This is stupid. I should have ran after him when I had the chance.

[There is a clank from off-camera and both men freeze. They turn their heads slowly, in tandem, towards the noise. The camera zip-pans across to see Dake Ken leaning against a wall, eating from a cafeteria serving tray. There is a butter knife at his feet.]

Todd: GET HIM!!!

[Lee and Tumbler charge at Ken, who is wearing the UWS Hardcore Title around his waist. Ken holds his ground until the Todds are close enough, then turns up the metal tray, dousing Lee with chili and caesar salad. Tumbler tackles him, and knocks Dake Ken through a swinging door into a kitchen. The cameraman rushes to keep up with them while Lee tries to clean himself up whilst sitting on the floor.]

[Once inside the room, the camera sees Dake Ken and Tumbler trading punches in front of a large cooking range. Tumbler stuns Ken with a hard right hand, then reaches his hand back blindly for a weapon. He comes up with the first thing he finds... a wooden spoon. Tumbler swats Ken across the head with the spoon, then spins it around, and jabs him in the eye with the other end.]

Dake Ken: Ah!

[Lee scrambles into the room and starts scanning the line of pots and pans hanging from hooks for something suitably violent. On the other side of the room, Tumbler turns around and reaches for an aluminum coffee pot, but Dake Ken nails him across the back with a Clothesline, knocking it out of his hands. He cinches up Tumbler from behind, and Back Suplexes him onto the grill.]

Tumbler: Ugh.

[Dake Ken takes a second to turn on the grill before making another break for the exit. He comes around the counter, only to come face to face with a cast iron frying pan that is wielded by Lee Todd. Ken drops to the floor, unconscious. Lee looks down at him as he picks a piece of lettuce from his hair.]

Todd: Hey, he's supposed to have 2 eggs on his eyes, and a strip of bacon across his mouth! Have cartoons lied to me all these years?

[Lee looks over at Tumbler, who is still lying on the grill.]

Tumbler: Good move, Lee. Now help me off this thing.

Todd: Isn't that hot?

Tumbler: Nah, it's cold. I guess the kitchen staff isn't working today.

[Lee walks over to the grill just as smoke starts to rise up from around Tumbler.]

Tumbler: Ah, dammit!

[Tumbler leaps off the grill, smoke still rising off the back of his "I'm a Heel Now" T-shirt.]

Tumbler: Ah man, these things cost 19 cents each! Some 9-year-old is gonna be working overtime tonight.

[Lee helps pat the flames out on his brother's back, then turns off the grill. Both men just look at each other as they both seem to get the same idea at once.]

Tumbler: My belt!

[Both men turn, and leap at the downed figure of Dake Ken. They collapse onto him, and start wrestling for advantage, like boys in a schoolyard scrap.]

Todd: Get... off... me.

[Lee rolls over, pinning Tumbler back-first onto the cold concrete floor.]

Tumbler: Ah... the burns!

[With Tumbler momentarily distracted, Lee crawls over to Dake Ken, and rips the Hardcore Title off his waist. Lee stands up, clutching the belt to his chest as Tumbler gets back to his feet. Tumbler pulls back his fist, as if to punch Lee, but hesitates. Both men sneer at each other, then Lee starts to laugh.]

Todd: Too slow!

Tumbler: Dammit!

[Lee turns and casually walks out of the kitchen. Tumbler starts to follow him, looking down at Dake Ken on the way out.]

Tumbler: (to Lee) Hey, shouldn't he have eggs for eyes and bacon for a mouth?

[The show cuts back to ringside, where Johnny Gallivan is shaking his head in a very disappointed manner. Jim Browski is laughing uncontrollably.]

Jim: You've got to love Lee Todd and Tumbler.

Gallivan: Jim, I thought you hated Todd and loved Shane Brandon?

Jim: What, do I?

[Jim starts rifling through his notes.]

Jim: Hmm, that doesn't make sense. Do I like Gabriel Blade?

Gallivan: No, you think he's a Dudley Do-right.

Jim: What about Tremere?

[Johnny points at Jim's Kurt Tremere tattoo.]

Gallivan: That answer your question?

Jim: Dammit, I can't keep track of all this stuff. I'm sick and tired of loving and hating everybody. From now on, I'm going to be completely unbiased.

Gallivan: What?

Jim: You heard me. I'm not going to favor anybody. Call it down the middle, that's my new motto. Jim "The Neutral" Browski, that's what they'll call me.

Gallivan: This should last for about 5 minutes.

Jim: What? You think I can't do it?

Gallivan: We shall see.

Gallivan: Main event time! The previous matches were just warmups to the fourth Iron Man event... The Iron Man Rumble! Even we don't know the order of the wrestlers, so we'll just have to wait until they are announced.

Jim: The draw is a big part of the show. A crappy number could ruin a wrestlers chances, and a lucky draw could turn this match on its side.

Gallivan: Quick Snap tested the competitors' technical prowess. Jester's Pyramid was a test of pure toughness. Teamwork tested the competitors' tag team skills and abilities to work with another competitor. The Iron Man Rumble is a test of stamina, if nothing else. In order to win, a competitor is going to have to outlast up to 15 other wrestlers. Ryan Lockheart has been resting his throat all night, but he's ready at ringside for our first two introductions. After the bell, the remaining competitors will be announced one at a time, every two minutes. DI Rogers, Joe Generic, and Chicago independent referee, Ronnie Wilkins, are all in position around the ring to keep an eye out for pinfalls and submissions.

Jim: Ok, get on with it.

Lockheart: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Iron Man Competition Event #4... the Iron Man Rumble! On the line are 10 possible points for the competitor who can win the Rumble. Making his way to the ring at this time, standing at 6 feet tall and weighing in at 235 lbs, from Hollywood, California, he is the ultimate model of perfection in a mortal man, he is... BRIAN THORN!!!

[In Thorn's voice we hear the word "Ultimate" over the sound system as a spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp to a waiting Thorn. "Model" is spoken the same way as another spotlight hits him from a different angle, and Thorn raises his arms in acceptance of the appreciation the fans must have for him. "Of" is heard as a third spotlight shines down on the man with the million-dollar smile. "Perfection" sounds in Thorn's voice as a fourth and final spotlight engulfs Thorn. Suddenly "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool plays over the sound system and all four spotlights follow Thorn down the entrance ramp. On the Syni-tron we see images of Thorn in his glory, hitting the Double Take, flashing his "million dollar" smile, women hanging off of both arms, and then a closeup of the arrogant face. Thorn takes his time walking down the entrance ramp, letting his music play through. Once in the ring he flashes his "million dollar" smile once again, the music fades, and the lights come back on.]

Jim: Whoah! Brian Thorn draws the kiss of death! Looks good on him!

Gallivan: Mr. Neutral?

Jim: Oh yeah. Well-rounded wrestler, Brian Thorn... he can mix it up with the best of them.

Gallivan: Certainly shocking considering how things have just seemed to be going Thorn's way as of late.

Jim: Now, don't you start implying anything about Thorn's friendship with Johnny Lassiter.

Gallivan: I wouldn't think of it. Thorn is now walking around the ring, taking time to share a handshake and a smile with all 3 officials.

Jim: Now that's classy.

Gallivan: Despite the pasted on smile, I can see that Thorn is not impressed with his draw at all.

Jim: Well, can you blame him?

Gallivan: No. The #1 and #2 draws are the worst of the batch. It will take real stamina to succeed in this event with that draw. Of course, Thorn continues to surprise us in the UWS. I'm sure he's the first professional wrestler to ever cut a promo during freefall.

Lockheart: And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time, from Burkettesville, MD, and weighing in at 345 lbs... SIN!!!

[The lights go out and an eerie silence is heard as suddenly "Black All Over" blares throughout the pitch black arena and dark blue smoke fills the entrance ramp. The one named Sin stands at the end of the isle and raises his gloved black hands over his head, saying a prayer to himself, then without a word, he dashes into the ring, rolling under the bottom rope and circling the ring, pointing to all the fans as he brings his thumb across his neck slowly in a cut-throat gesture.]

Gallivan: Listen to that crowd! The fans are not big fans of Sin, especially after he cost Gabriel Blade those tag titles earlier tonight, but they cheer his every move when he gets near Thorn. The big man charges to the ring, but Thorn slides into the ring. Sin heads in, but Thorn hits him with a Kick to the side of the head as he comes in! Thorn fires off another Kick, but Sin blocks it with his elbow... and hits Thorn with a thunderous Kick to the side!

Jim: Woah. This big man can kick!

Gallivan: Thorn fires off a couple of Jabs, but Sin covers up, then stings Thorn with an overhand Right! He fires off a heavy Kick to the upper thigh of Thorn, then charges in for a Clothesline... but Thorn ducks under it! Thorn reaches back... NECKBREAKER ON SIN! Thorn heads to the corner, but changes his mind.

Jim: Not smart going to the top rope in a battle royal.

Gallivan: Well, it's pretty safe with just 2 men in the ring. But I think Thorn changed his mind when Sin started to get up. Thorn charges Sin as he gets back to his feet... SCISSORKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY THORN! He rolls Sin over, and goes for a cover! DI Rogers slams down the count from his position at ringside... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: Sin didn't seem to be limping when he came out. I would have thought that glass and pepper hotfoot would be working by now.

Gallivan: Well, when Thorn doctored Sin's boots, Sin was already in the ring fighting a tag match, so that must have been a second pair. Lucky for Sin he didn't change boots before the Rumble.

Jim: Ahhh, but maybe if he hadn't drawn such a low number, he would have. Again, Thorn's luck has turned against him!

Gallivan: Thorn drags Sin back to his feet, and Irish Whips him into the corner! He charges in... BUT SIN COMES OUT WITH A MAFIA KICK ON THORN!!! He picks Thorn up off the canvas, and cinches him for a Powerbomb... BUT THORN REVERSES IT INTO A FACESLAM! Thorn heads off the ropes... SOMERSAULT SPLASH ON SIN! He hooks the leg, and here's another cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT!

Jim: Woah! The big man nearly tossed Thorn through the ropes!

Gallivan: Despite that impressive display, Sin is slow to get up. He crawls back to his feet, but Thorn is back up first. Thorn hits Sin with a Standing Side Kick square in the chest! The big man staggers back, but didn't go down!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: We get a new competitor every 2 minutes, so this match will be fast and furious, to say the least.

Jim: It's gotta be Gabriel Blade.

Gallivan: Why?

Jim: Cause Gabe's got the worst luck in the fed. Even worse than Thorn.

Gallivan: Thorn charges him, hitting Sin with a Clothesline! Again, the big man staggered, but didn't go down!

Jim: Sin's dangerously close to the ropes! If he goes over the top, it's curtains for his chance at 10 points.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Burbank, CA, and weighing in at 255 lbs... CURTIS SLAMM!!!

[Slamm steps through the entrance curtain, beaming a very confident smile.]

Gallivan: Curtis Slamm is taking his time getting to the ring. Thorn hits Sin with a flurry of Palm Thrusts to the chest, but Sin steps in, and whallops Thorn with a Forearm Elbow shot to the head! Thorn spins around from the force of the blow, and Sin grabs him from behind, hoisting him up for a Back Suplex... BUT THORN REVERSES IT INTO A HEADLOCK TAKEDOWN!

[Slamm finally makes a move, sliding into the ring behind Thorn, just as he gets back to his feet.]

Gallivan: Slamm Clotheslines Thorn in the back of the head! He drops an Elbow onto the Thorn, then picks him off the mat. Slamm lifts Thorn up... AND PRESS SLAMS HIM ONTO SIN! Now Slamm charges off the ropes... AND SPLASHES ONTO BOTH OF THEM! Joe Generic makes the count from outside the ring... 1... 2... NO! Sin managed to kick out!

Jim: Double pin!

Gallivan: Slamm is up, and backs into the corner for a breather. Thorn rolls off Sin, under the bottom rope to the floor! He's still legal because he didn't go over the top. Slamm drops down into a three-point stance as Sin gets back to his feet. Sin is up... AND SLAMM SPEARS HIM BACK INTO THE TURNBUCKLE! He starts ramming heavy shoulderblocks into the guts of Sin, using the ropes for additional force! On the outside, DI Rogers is telling Thorn to get back in the ring, but he doesn't appear too keen on it. Rogers warns Thorn again, and he rolls back into the ring.

Jim: We are only just getting started. Thorn needs to conserve his energy.

Gallivan: Thorn heads up behind Slamm... AND LOCKS ON A SLEEPERHOLD FROM BEHIND! He pulls Slamm out of the corner as he tries to put him out. Sin comes out of the corner after Slamm, but Curtis lifts himself up, using Thorn for leverage kicks Sin in the head as he comes in! He tries to break out of the Sleeper, but Thorn has it locked on tight!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Jim: This is Gabe, for sure.

Gallivan: Sin comes out again, and again Slamm brings his legs up... BUT SIN GRABS THEM! He yanks Slamm out of Thorn's clutches... AND GIANT SWINGS CURTIS SLAMM!!! Thorn backpedals, but he still gets clipped by the spinning torso of Curtis Slamm!

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from the Kung-Fu Kollege of Kucamonga, and weighing in at 231 lbs... DR. KARATE!!!

Gallivan: Dr. Karate is #4 here tonight. Sin drops Slamm to the mat, and staggers back into one of the corners. Dr. Karate grabs Thorn's legs from outside the ring, and pulls Thorn down onto his stomach on the canvas! He's got one of Thorn's legs on either side of the ringpost... AND HE YANKS BACK, DRIVING THAT RINGPOST INTO THE GROIN OF THORN!

Jim: Take that! I mean... smart move on the part of Dr. Karate. But we all know Thorn's resiliancy, so it'll take more than that to stop him.

Gallivan: Dr. Karate climbs onto the apron, and immediately heads up to the top rope. He leaps off... GUILLOTINE LEGDROP ON THE BACK OF THORN'S HEAD!!!

[Dr. Karate leaps to his feet, and laughs at the downed Brian Thorn. He starts to do a few martial arts moves as he gloats.]

Gallivan: Hang on! Sin comes out of the corner and charges at Dr. Karate from behind... CLOTHESLINING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!! Karate hits the floor, and he is absolutely livid!

Jim: Well done, Doc. I reckon that he lasted about 40 seconds. (yelling) YOU BIG IDIOT!

Gallivan: So much for Mr. Neutral.

Jim: Screw neutrality... that's for noncommital idjits. Everything is either black or white!

Gallivan: Curtis Slamm is still in a daze in the middle of the ring. Sin reaches down and picks up Brian Thorn, who is in serious pain. He cinches Thorn up... AND POWERBOMBS HIM TO THE MAT! Hang on! Sin is pointing outside the ring! He's going to try to eliminate Thorn!

[Outside the ring, Joe Generic is arguing with Dr. Karate, who refuses to leave ringside.]

Gallivan: Sin picks up Thorn, and hoists him into the air for a Gorilla Press!!! He walks around the ring with Thorn held aloft... BUT THORN RAKES THE EYES OF SIN! The big man drops Thorn, who hits safely but painfully on the canvas! Brian Thorn rolls out of the ring once again, desperate for a break. DI Rogers is on him, and is actually putting a count on Thorn!

Jim: What? There's no countouts in this thing!

Gallivan: Dr. Karate has finally agreed to leave ringside and he heads back up the ramp.

Jim: (laughing) He didn't even get to take his labcoat off!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Jim: Here comes Gabe.

Gallivan: In the ring, Curtis Slamm is back to his feet, but he still looks shakey. He comes out at Sin, and Bodyslams him to the mat!

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England and weighing in at 230 lbs... TUMBLER!!!

Gallivan: Tumbler bypasses the ring, and charges right at Thorn... crashing him into the steel barricade at ringside! Tumbler picks up Thorn, and tosses him back into the ring, then follows him in. Tumbler grabs Thorn as he gets inside, and Irish Whips him right at Curtis Slamm... WHO BACKDROPS THORN TO THE CANVAS! Slamm charges at Tumbler, but he Leapfrogs over him! Slamm bounces off the ropes just as Tumbler turns around... but Tumbler catches him in the face with a Standing Dropkick! Sin is up, and behind Tumbler. He spins him around, grabbing him by the throat! Sin hoists up Tumbler for a Chokeslam, but Tumbler brings his legs up around the neck of Sin! Tumbler hits Sin with a heel in the face... THEN HEADSCISSORS SIN TO THE MAT!

Jim: Great display of momentum by Tumbler. That is a big man to be tossing across the ring like that.

Gallivan: Slamm is back up as Tumbler gets to his feet, and runs at the cruiserweight... but Tumbler Armdrags him to the mat! Slamm gets back up, and Tumbler hits him with a Right hand, but Slamm shoots, taking the leg out from under Tumbler! He applies a Leg Grapevine, then turns Tumbler over into a Half Crab! Ref Ronnie is watching closely from ringside for the submission. On the other side of the ring, Sin is back up. He heads for Thorn, who isn't moving on the canvas. Sin picks up Thorn... BUT HE PULLS A SMALL PACKAGE OUT OF NOWHERE! Joe Generic makes the count... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: Generic was out of position. That should have been it for Sin!

Gallivan: Thorn is shouting at Generic on the outside, but his attention is still focused on Sin. Thorn gently bounces off the ropes while waiting for Sin to get back to his feet. He's up to his knees as Thorn comes off the ropes... SWINGING NECKBREAKER BY THORN! Thorn pulls himself back into a corner and takes a much needed breather. He and Sin have been in there since the opening bell.

Jim: It's ok for Thorn, but Sin is a big man and I don't think he's got the stamina of Thorn.

Gallivan: Slamm is trying to rip Tumbler's knee out of place. Thorn is just waiting in the corner, but it looks like Sin is slowly trying to get back to his feet.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Boston, MA, and weighing in at 257 lbs... "DEMOLITION MAN" MICHAEL BURKE!!!

Gallivan: Fans, I didn't think he was going to show, but Michael Burke is headed to the ring! He's limping, and looks to be in rough shape, but he's going to fight anyway. Burke slides into the ring, walks right past Thorn... AND TACKLES SIN TO THE MAT!!! Burke is going wild with those lefts and rights on Sin! Could Sin have been the one who attacked Burke backstage earlier tonight?

Jim: Nah, he's probably just pissed that Sin took his place in the tag match... and did a better job than him!

Gallivan: Burke is using those educated fists to give Sin a lesson in Respect 101 that he won't soon forget.

Jim: How long did it take you to come up with that gem, Gallivan? Maybe we should send it to Reader's Digest Quotable Quotes.

Gallivan: Thorn is finally getting back to his feet, and moves around behind Curtis Slamm. Thorn charges at him... clipping him with a Spinning Heel Kick that breaks the Half Crab! Slamm staggered forward, and nearly fell through the ropes. Sin is trying to cover up against the onslaught of Michael Burke, but he's just giving everything he's got! Thorn shambles over and grabs Burke from behind... raking his eyes! That gives Sin a chance to fire back a few punches of his own from the canvas! Thorn backs off to a corner again, and slumps against the turnbuckle.

Jim: Thorn's picking his shots now and trying to stay out of trouble. Good strategy.

Gallivan: Or, you could say that he's attacking people from behind because they can't fight back.

Jim: You could say that... if you were a dick.

Gallivan: You're a dick.

Jim: You're a dick.

Gallivan: Sin grabs Burke by the hair with both hands... and yanks him down for a Headbutt that stunned the Demolition Man! He shoves Burke off, and now Sin is trying to get back to his feet. Tumbler has dragged himself into an empty corner, and he's trying to get the blood flowing in that leg again.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Sin hammers Michael Burke with a stiff right hand, then follows up with a beefy Savage Kick to the ribs! He steps in... and Fireman Carries Burke to the canvas.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, accompanied by Dr. Karate. From Kyoto, Japan, weighing in at 219 lbs... UESUGI!!!

Gallivan: Uesugi is anxious to get some action here tonight.

Jim: So am I. You think that redhead's interested?

Gallivan: Uesugi slides into the ring, and fires off a Snap Kick to the side of Curtis Slamm's head, knocking Slamm back into a corner.

Jim: Thorn, Tumbler, and Slamm are all resting in the corners.

Gallivan: Sin heads off the ropes... AND NAILS BURKE WITH A SENTON BOMB! Uesugi heads into one of the corners after Thorn, but Thorn gets his feet up, slamming them into Uesugi's chest! Tumbler sees his chance, and charges out of his own corner... BULLDOGGING UESUGI TO THE MAT! Thorn steps out, and hits Tumbler with a Knife-edge Chop! And another! Spinning Mule Kick by Thorn, sends Tumbler against the ropes! Thorn charges him... CLOTHESLINING TUMBLER OVER THE TOP!!!

Jim: Hold on! He didn't go over!

Gallivan: Tumbler landed roughly on the ring apron, and now Thorn is holding onto the bottom rope, and trying to shove Tumbler off the apron. He's already gone over the top, so if he hits the floor here, it's all over for Tumbler. Joe Generic is standing right there, ready to call for the bell if Tumbler is eliminated. Across the ring, Sin picks up Michael Burke, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... but Burke reversed it! Sin comes back, but Burke telegraphs a Backdrop!

Jim: He was trying to send Sin out of the ring!

Gallivan: Sin slams a Forearm shot across Burke's back, and now cinches him up in a powerbomb position, and underhooks the arms... DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB BY SIN!!! DI Rogers leans in to administer the count... 1... 2... Kickout!

Jim: Burke was a hair away from being eliminated there.

Gallivan: Uesugi is back up, and he hits Curtis Slamm with a Knife-edge Chop! Slamm steps in, driving a knee into the midsection of Uesugi... GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB BY SLAMM! Slamm looks completely exhausted as he leans against the ropes to keep him up. Across the ring, Sin picks up the dazed Michael Burke, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... BUT SLAMM YANKED DOWN THE TOP ROPE, SENDING BURKE OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: Bang! That's another one down!

Gallivan: Now Sin charges at Slamm... dropping him with a Running Clothesline!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Jim: We haven't seen much teamwork at all here yet. Every man is truly in there fighting for himself and nobody else.

Gallivan: Sin starts stomping on Curtis Slamm, but Uesugi comes up behind him... AND BRINGS HIS ARM UP BETWEEN THE LEGS OF SIN, DROPPING HIM TO HIS KNEES! On the other side, Thorn is still trying to force Tumbler off the apron, but the plucky cruiserweight is holding on for dear life.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Chicago, Ill, and weighing in at 243 lbs... "THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARD" CRAIG LASSITER!!!

Gallivan: Listen to this hometown crowd cheer for Lassiter.

[The crowd sours when a man in a black ninja suit with an infinity symbol on his chest charges through the entrance ramp towards the ring.]

Jim: Hah! I told you it was Craig Lassiter in that Shinobi suit!

Gallivan: I can't believe it! Shinobi Infinity slides into the ring, and hits Uesugi with a Bulldog Lariat! He's back up, and starts stomping on the downed Sin and Curtis Slamm! He's fresh, and he's tearing Slamm and Sin up. Shinobi Infinity pulls Sin back to his feet, and hoists him onto his back... SAMOAN DROP ON SIN!!! The Shinobi stands up, then leaps onto the bottom rope to rile up the fans. He points back at the downed competitors in the ring and laughs. Waitaminute! Brian Thorn is up, and he runs up behind the Shinobi... AND CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: So much for Craig Lassiter's comeback!

Gallivan: The Shinobi hits the floor roughly. Fans, I'm not sure who is under that mask, but whoever it is, he's out of the Rumble. Hold on! Here's Craig Lassiter!

Jim: What? But he's the Shinobi! This Lassiter must be a clone!

Gallivan: A clone?

Jim: Sure. They did it in the Spider-man comics, didn't they?

[Craig Lassiter steps out through the entrance curtain, dressed to wrestle, and heads straight for the Shinobi, who is limping away from the ring.]

Gallivan: In the ring, Brian Thorn hooks up Curtis Slamm... AND RAISES HIM UP FOR A SURFBOARD SUBMISSION! Rogers is checking whether or not Slamm gives it up! On the outside... CRAIG LASSITER HITS THE SHINOBI WITH A THESZ PRESS ON THE RAMP! He starts hammering the masked man with lefts and rights. Maybe it's Shane Brandon underneath the mask again. No one has seen him yet tonight. Craig bounces the Shinobis head off the entrance ramp several times... THEN YANKS HIS MASK OFF!

Jim: Who is it?

Gallivan: I have no idea.

[The camera gets a shot of the Shinobi's face.]

Gallivan: Maybe it's actually Shinobi I.

Jim: Nah, I've been drinking with the Shinobis, that's not one of them.

Gallivan: You've been drinking with the Shinobis?

Jim: Sure. You think they walk around with those masks on when they're not at work? That would be silly.

Gallivan: Fans, I have no idea who this guy is, but our ring security is leading him out of the building. Craig Lassiter rolls into the ring, and hits Thorn with a running Punt in the head to break the Surfboard! He drops Slamm to the mat, and Lassiter helps his old friend to his feet. Uesugi is up, and grabs Sin by the legs for a Figure-four... but Sin boots him off into the corner! Lassiter starts directing traffic as Slamm picks up Brian Thorn, and hoists him onto his back into a Fireman Carry. Craig Lassiter climbs through the ropes, and now he's heading up top. Looks like we are going to see a double-team move on Thorn.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Hold on! Tumbler is back up, and he yanks the legs out from under Lassiter on top, dropping him down to the top turnbuckle! Curtis Slamm Samoan Drops Thorn to the mat!

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England, and weighing in at 240 lbs... STU-E PRICE!!!

[Stu casually walks to the ring, but stops when he catches the eye of a young lady at ringside. Stu stops to talk to her.]

Gallivan: Sin is back up, and now he starts hammering on Uesugi in the corner. Tumbler climbs onto the second rope in front of Craig Lassiter, and starts hammering him in the head. He leaps up for a Hurracanrana... BUT LASSITER POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!

Jim: That was desperation.

Gallivan: Stu Price is chatting with that young lady at ringside. He doesn't seem too keen on getting in that ring. Again, Craig Lassiter and Curtis Slamm start cooking up something on Thorn. They cinch him up... DOUBLE SUPLEX ON BRIAN THORN! They pick Thorn up, and Slamm hooks his arms behind his back. Craig Lassiter gets a head of steam off the ropes, and comes back... but Thorn breaks free... AND CRAIG HITS SLAMM WITH A ROARING ELBOW!!!

[Craig raises his arms in horror at the accident.]

Gallivan: Thorn crawls over, and cinches Slamm for a cradle! Craig moves to break it, but Tumbler grabs him from behind! Tumbler rams his head into Lassiter's back, turns him over... TOMIKAZE BY TUMBLER!!! Joe Generic makes the count on Slamm... 1... 2... 3! Slamm's out!

Jim: Slamm was the third man in, and the third man out. And it's all Craig Lassiter's fault.

Gallivan: Thorn dumps Slamm out of the ring to the floor as the ring crew escort him away from the ring. Hold on! Slamm shoves Stu, who is still at ringside, chatting with that girl.

[Stu turns around, and shrugs his shoulders as if he had no clue what just happened. Security pushes Slamm towards the back.]

Gallivan: The refs are finally telling Stu Price to get in the ring. Frankly, I don't know if these two are going to be able to wrestle as a team when they get their shots at the UWS Tag Team Titles. We are almost ready for our next wrestler, and Stu is still at ringside. In the ring, Tumbler heads over behind Sin, who is in control of Uesugi... AND DROPKICKS HIM IN THE BACK! He sent Sin crashing into Uesugi in the corner! Now Tumbler climbs onto the second rope, and starts hammering Sin with Right hands into the back of his head! He cinches the big man... INVERTED DDT OFF THE SECOND ROPE!!!

Jim: Nice one.

Gallivan: Stu Price finally climbs into the ring, and immediately jumps Craig Lassiter. He starts stomping on Lassiter. Thorn drags himself back to a corner, and decides to take another breather. On the other side, Tumbler pulls Uesugi out of the corner... AND FIREMAN CARRIES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: Simple, yet effective.

Gallivan: That's it for Uesugi.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Price cinches up Lassiter from behind... RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX BY STU-E PRICE!

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Darlington, England and weighing in at 232 lbs... LEE F'N' TODD!!!

Gallivan: Tumbler is stomping on Sin in the corner. Lee Todd climbs into the ring, and he's actually wearing the UWS Hardcore Title! Lee makes a beeline for Thorn, who pulls himself back to his feet. Thorn kicks out his legs like he did against Uesugi, but Lee grabs his legs! Lee pulls back, breaking Thorn away from the ropes, and dropping Thorn to the mat! Lee steps in and turns him over... SCORPION DEATHLOCK BY LEE TODD!

Jim: Thorn's been in there since the very beginning. This is a smart move by Lee.

Gallivan: Joe Generic is right there, asking Thorn if he wants to give it up. Stu Price shoves Craig Lassiter into a corner, and starts hammering him with lefts and rights to the midsection. Fans, Lee Todd was competitor #10, so we are roughly two-thirds of the way through the competitors here tonight.

Jim: Still a long way to go. But Sin and Thorn have already seen a lot of action tonight.

Gallivan: Tumbler uses the ropes to get more height as he drops a few Kneedrops onto the back of Sin. Price pulls Lassiter out of the corner, and boots him in the stomach. He cinches Craig up, and underhooks the arms... BUT LASSITER COUNTERS WITH A BACKDROP ON STU! Craig is shaky, but he bounces off the ropes... and drops a Kneedrop across the head of Stu! The competitors have paired off here now.

Jim: Ok, the next guy has to be Gabriel Blade.

Gallivan: Thorn still refuses to give, despite the punishment he's receiving from Lee Todd in that sharpshooter. Craig cinches Stu up in a suplex position... Front Layout Suplex on the top rope! He jumps up, Dropkicking Stu in the head... BUT STU HANGS ONTO THE BOTTOM ROPE! Price fell to the apron, but did not hit the floor!

Jim: Close one for Stu.

Gallivan: Craig drops to his butt on the canvas, and is trying to kick Price off the apron, much like Thorn was trying against Tumbler earlier. Tumbler climbs up to the top rope, and Sin is just about out. Tumbler leaps off... DIVING HEADBUTT BY TUMBLER! He shakes off the cobwebs, and now Tumbler grabs Sin by the leg... AND APPLIES A FIGURE-FOUR!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Lee Todd finally releases Thorn from the sharpshooter, and Thorn wraps himself around the bottom rope. Lee stomps him a few times, then turns his attention to the entrance curtain.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Las Vegas, Nevada, and weighing in at 235 lbs... EDMUNE PAINE II!!!

Gallivan: Lee pounces on Paine as he comes through the ropes, and starts hammering down on Paine's back! Paine pulls Lee's legs out from under him... AND DROPS A LEG INTO THE GROIN OF LEE TODD! DI Rogers is near the corner, checking on Sin as Tumbler continues to crank on that figure-four. Paine repositions Lee... AND SLINGSHOTS HIM OFF THE MAT INTO THE CORNER!!! Lee is holding his ribs.

Jim: He's still wearing that belt! Lee's basically taking that belt in the ribs on every move.

Gallivan: Lee starts climbing the ropes, facefirst, but Paine comes up behind him.

Jim: Always a scary thought.

Gallivan: Paine pulls Lee off the ropes, positioning him on Paine's shoulders. Edmund Paine carefully steps away from the corner, but Lee starts hammering lefts and rights into Paine's head! Lee tattoos Paine across the ear, stunning him... VICTORY ROLL BY LEE TODD!!! Ronnie Wilkins is there for the count as Lee ties Paine up tight... 1... 2... 3! I can't believe it!

Jim: I can. Wilkins calls for the bell, and Paine is gone as fast as that.

Gallivan: Lee gets up, and seems very pleased with himself as he knees Paine through the ropes to the outside where security leads him away. Lee looks as if he's going to help out Stu, but changes his mind and heads after Brian Thorn. Thorn brings his arms up in a boxing pose and fires off a Front Kick into the chest of Lee. He fires off another Kick, but Lee catches this one... ENZUIGIRI KICK BY BRIAN THORN!!! On the other side, Tumbler releases the figure-four, and goes back to stomping on Sin. Craig Lassiter is still kicking Stu in the head, trying to get him to let go of the ropes and hit the floor, but Stu is hanging on! Thorn is back up and pulls Lee back to his feet. He Irish Whips Lee into the ropes... but Lee reverses it! Thorn comes back... AND LEE GORILLA PRESSES HIM INTO THE AIR!!!

Jim: What?

Gallivan: Lee used Thorn's momentum to hoist him up, but he can't keep him up! Lee staggers forward... AND TOSSES THORN OUT OF THE RING!!!

Jim: Holy crap!

Gallivan: Thorn sailed out of the ring, and came down straight onto the steel guardrail, taking it in the ribs! He could be seriously hurt. Joe Generic is checking on him now. Lee just shakes his head. Even he's surprised that he did it.

Jim: In the heat of battle, we can be capable of anything.

Gallivan: We are down to 5 men in that ring, and still another 5 to be announced. Tumbler drags Sin away from the ropes and drops onto him for the cover... 1... 2... No! Sin kicks out!

Jim: What? Where does this guy get it?

Gallivan: Craig Lassiter stands up and takes a step back to allow Stu to roll back into the ring. Stu is up... AND LASSITER MAFIA KICKS HIM INTO THE CORNER! He steps in, and fires off a Knife-edge Chop on Stu in the corner. Across the ring, Tumbler is shouting for Lee's help. Lee heads over as Tumbler hoists Sin up, and drapes him across the top rope. Tumbler grabs Sin's legs, and tries to lift him over the top rope, but he's hanging on! Now Lee comes over, and hammers Sin with a Forearm shot to the back, and goes to work trying to shove Sin out as well.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Craig Lassiter pulls Stu out of the corner, grabs him by the hair... and rakes him face-first across the top rope! Now he shoves Stu back, and ties up his arms between the top two ring ropes!

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from the Jungles of Africa and weighing in at 155 lbs... THE NATIVE!!!

Gallivan: The Native hits the ring, and charges at Lee Todd! He clobbers Lee from behind with a Vader-type body attack! Lee spins around, and Native rakes him in the eyes! He boots Todd in the guts... and now he's pulling on his hair!

Jim: The Native, the excellence of execution.

Gallivan: Tumbler leaves Sin on his own and jumps the Native from behind! He grabs him by the hair, and cinches him for an Inverted DDT... BUT THE NATIVE RAKES TUMBLER'S EYES TO BREAK THE HOLD! The Native wanders out of the way, and Tumbler fires out a Front Kick... CATCHING LEE IN THE GUTS! He cinches his brother for a DDT... but hesitates! Tumbler blinks his eyes, and releases Lee before doing any damage.

Jim: That was a close one.

Gallivan: Lee has a few words for Tumbler... BUT THE NATIVE DROPKICKS LEE INTO TUMBLER! Both of them hit the deck! Across the ring, Craig Lassiter still has Stu tied up in the ropes. He hits Stu with a couple of Left Jabs... THEN CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: So long, Stu-E.

Gallivan: Tumbler gets back to his feet, but he looks pretty out of it. The Native charges him... BUT TUMBLER CATCHES HIM IN MID-AIR FOR A POWERSLAM!!! Tumbler picks up the Native, and Irish Whips him off the ropes... BUT THE NATIVE COMES BACK WITH A FLYING BODY ATTACK! He clipped Tumbler, and sent him down to the mat! The Native is getting riled up! He charges into one of the corners, and starts to climb the ropes. Waitaminute! Lee Todd is up and grabs the Native from behind... AND SHOVES HIM OFF THE TOP TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!

Jim: Ooh, that's a long way down, even for a skinny guy like that.

Gallivan: Native hit hard, and he's hurt bad. The ring crew are removing him and Stu Price from the ring area. Waitaminute. Sin is getting back to his feet. Lee turns around, and hits Sin with a Side Elbow to the head that rocks the big man. Lee Irish Whips Sin off the ropes... but he ducks under a Clothesline attempt! Both men criss-cross the ring... BUT TUMBLER PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE, AND SIN SPILLS OVER IT! NO!

Jim: He landed on the apron! On his feet, no less!

Gallivan: Tumbler charges across the ring, along the ropes... BUT SIN CLOTHESLINES HIM TO THE MAT! Hang on! Lee runs across... HITTING SIN WITH A KNEE IN THE RIBS THAT KNOCKS HIM OFF THE APRON, TO THE FLOOR!!! The big man still landed on his feet, but he is out!

Jim: That's nothing to sneeze at. And, he outlasted Brian Thorn.

Gallivan: Speaking of, poor Brian Thorn is still draped across that steel guardrail. I think he could be seriously hurt here, fans. In the ring, we've just got 3 men, Lee Todd, Tumbler, and Craig Lassiter. Lassiter backs against the ropes defensively as Lee and Tumbler exchange glances. Lee is still wearing that Hardcore Title. The Todds charge at Craig... HITTING HIM WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE THAT NEARLY SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP! Craig brings both legs down, one on either side of the Todd brothers' heads... AND SLAMS THEM TOGETHER!!!

Jim: That bought him a few seconds.

Gallivan: Tumbler stumbles to one corner while Lee bends down, holding his head. Craig comes off the ropes... SWINGING NECKBREAKER ON LEE TODD! Hang on! Tumbler comes out of the corner... DOUBLE STOMP INTO THE STOMACH OF CRAIG LASSITER!

Jim: Ouch.

Gallivan: Tumbler is once again headed to the top rope. Hold on! Sin is still outside the ring, and the big man is mad. He's pounding his fists onto the apron of the mat as his rage builds.

Jim: Security!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Long Beach, CA by way of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and weighing in at 245 lbs... "THE THREAT" SHANE BRANDON!!!

[A camera cuts to the entrance ramp, but there is no movement.]

Gallivan: Brandon is nowhere to be seen, but at ringside Sin is getting madder by the second. The big man heads over to one of the ringposts... AND HE'S TRYING TO LIFT UP THE RING!

Jim: What? He can't do that!

Gallivan: Tell him that. Sin's face is blood red as he flexes and lifts... AND HE ACTUALLY LIFTS THE CORNER OFF THE GROUND! Sin drops it... Hold on! Tumbler loses his balance on the top... and falls down to the canvas!!!

Jim: He was lucky. He could have fallen to the floor.

Gallivan: All three men are down in the ring, and I can finally take a breath. Sin is finally being led away from the ring. We've seen 3 competitors eliminated in quick fashion, but there's still no sign of Shane Brandon.

Jim: Is Shane even in the building? Maybe he missed his flight.

Gallivan: Craig Lassiter is the first one up, and he Stomps Tumbler in the head. Hold on! Lassiter pulls that chain out of his tights! He wraps it around his left hand and grabs Tumbler by the hair... BUT TUMBLER HEADBUTTS HIM IN THE GROIN! Lassiter drops to the canvas, as does Tumbler.

Jim: He cut that gimmick short.

Gallivan: Lee is up and drops an Elbow onto Craig Lassiter. He stands and grabs Lassiter by the feet... and applies a Spinning Toehold! Lee spins through... but Lassiter boots him off, into the corner. He's slow to get up, but Tumbler's up behind him. Tumbler cinches Lassiter for a Back Suplex... but he flips back behind him! Lassiter cinches up Tumbler for a Back Suplex... but Tumbler does the same... DRAGON LEGSWEEP BY TUMBLER! Tumbler gets back up, and he's shouting at Lee. He grabs Lassiter by the legs... and Slingshots him into Lee... SIDEWALK SLAM BY LEE TODD!!! Lee rolls Lassiter over... AND APPLIES A DRAGON SLEEPER! DI Rogers checks on Lassiter while Tumbler slumps into a corner to catch his breath.

Jim: Tumbler's now the guy who has been in there the longest.

Gallivan: Outside the ring, Brian Thorn is finally moving. He is still draped over that guardrail, and our ring crew have been attending to him ever since. Thorn is slowly but surely pushing himself up onto his feet on the guardrail.

Jim: Why?

Gallivan: I have no idea. It's a wonder he can even move. Thorn balances on top of the guardrail, holding his ribs, and steps over onto the ring apron!

Jim: Hang on! Did Thorn's feet touch the ground? He landed square on the guardrail, didn't he?

Gallivan: Fans, I'm being told exactly that. Brian Thorn has NOT been eliminated. Thorn climbs through the ropes... AND FIRES OFF A SNAP KICK SQUARE INTO THE FACE OF LEE TODD!!! He caught Todd across the bridge of the nose, and Todd is rolling around on the mat in pain. Craig Lassiter just drops to the canvas, immobile.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Fans, again the voices in my ear are telling me things.

Jim: You get those too? Do they tell you to become a folk singer?

Gallivan: No.

Jim: Oh... mine neither.

Gallivan: Fans, I'm being told that not only is Brian Thorn still in this match, but Shane Brandon has missed his entrance, and has been disqualified from the competition.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Toledo, Ohio, and weighing in at 248 lbs... KURT TREMERE!!!

Gallivan: The Unified Champion gets a very lucky draw here tonight at #14, and we have just 2 wrestlers left. Due to no-showing the match, Shane Brandon will be considered the 1st competitor eliminated from the Rumble, for points purposes. In the ring, Tumbler charges at Thorn, and drops him with a Running Shoulderblock! Tremere slides into the ring... AND LEVELS TUMBLER WITH A RUNNING ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Tremere picks up Tumbler and holds his arms behind his back... AND THORN HITS HIM WITH A VICIOUS SPIN KICK TO THE CHEST!

Jim: This doesn't bode well for the Todds and Lassiter. Tremere and Thorn have a temporary alliance on the go.

Gallivan: Tremere grabs Tumbler from one side, and Thorn from the other... DOUBLE SIDE RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP ON TUMBLER! Lee Todd is back up, but Tremere grabs him... EXPLODER SUPLEX BY TREMERE!

Jim: You can't beat this timing. The Unified Champ came in when everyone was just about dead.

Gallivan: Thorn starts stomping on Tumbler while Tremere picks Lee Todd back up. He cinches him in a piledriver position... but Lee counters with a Backdrop! Thorn charges at Lee... BUT RUNS INTO A DROP TOEHOLD! Craig Lassiter has dragged himself back to his feet, and slumps into a corner. He wraps that chain back around his hand and just waits. Lee heads outside, and climbs up to the top rope... FROGSPLASH BY LEE TODD!!!

Jim: NO! Tremere rolled out of the way, and Todd came down on canvas!

Gallivan: Lee is still wearing that Hardcore Title around his waist, so he may have done some serious damage to himself with that move. Tremere hits Lee with a Flash Elbow drop to the chest, then stands. He turns around to see Craig Lassiter coming out of the corner. Craig belts Tremere in the head with that loaded fist... but Tremere fires back a stiff right hand of his own! They start trading punches, and Tremere appears to be shrugging off the effects of that chain-loaded fist, and starts to get the better of Lassiter.

Jim: Craig's been in there a while now. He doesn't have the same sting on those punches as he did when he got there.

Gallivan: Tremere slams Lassiter in the chest with that padded Elbow, then belts him in the side of the head with it as well! Lassiter fires off a Knife-edge Chop! And another! He fires off a wild left hand, but Tremere ducks... AND DROPS LASSITER WITH A DIAMOND CUTTER!!!

Jim: BANG!

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: Kurt Tremere stands up and looks down at the carnage around him. He's in total control right now.

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Athens, Greece, and weighing in at 246 lbs... "SENTINEL" GABRIEL BLADE!!!

Gallivan: Listen to this crowd! They have been cheering wildly all night, but the decibel level just went through the roof. Gabriel Blade is walking to the ring... and he's actually got a smile on his face!

Jim: What do you expect? He drew the second last number. For once, Gabe's luck has changed!

Gallivan: Tremere turns around, and attacks Gabe as he comes through the ropes. He starts hammering Forearm shots down on Gabe's back, but Gabe just plants his shoulder into Kurt's midsection, and hoists him into the air... Inverted Atomic Drop by Gabe! He bounces back off the ropes... AND SPEARS TREMERE TO THE MAT!!! The Sentinel VS Kurt Tremere! Is this a taste of things to come? Thorn is back to his feet, but Gabe drops him with a Running Clothesline! Gabe picks up Thorn by the hair, and runs him across the ring... HURLING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! NO! Thorn held on, dropping to the ring apron! Gabe waits for him to stand up, and belts him with an overhead right hand! Thorn is holding onto the top ring rope, trying to stave off elimination. Gabe hits him again... but Thorn holds on! Thorn brings a foot up between the ropes, snapping off a Kick into the ribs of Gabe... but Gabe rocks him again with a right hand! Hold on! Tremere just pulled the Hardcore Title off Lee Todd's waist! He charges across the ring... AND BRAINS GABRIEL BLADE ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!! Tremere drops the belt as Gabe collapses, and shouts something to Thorn. He grabs the top rope, and vaults Thorn back into the ring... SOMERSAULT SENTON BOMB ON GABRIEL BLADE!!! Thorn hooks the leg, and Tremere drops onto Gabe as well! It's a double cover... 1... 2... NO! Somehow, Gabe kicked out!

Jim: Impossible!

Gallivan: DI Rogers is livid on the outside, fans. Hang on! He's disqualifying Kurt Tremere!

Jim: He can't do that! Tremere is God! That belt should have been fair game! Besides, it was Lee who brought it in in the first place.

Gallivan: Kurt kicks the bottom rope and starts cursing at Rogers. He bails out of the ring as security leads him away. In the ring, Brian Thorn is up. He charges off the ropes... ASAI MOONSAULT ON CRAIG LASSITER! Thorn cranks back on Lassiter's leg for the cover... 1... 2... 3! Thorn rolls into the corner, and we are down another competitor!

Gallivan: Just one competitor left to be announced. Thorn is taking a much needed breather. He's been in this match since the very beginning.

Jim: Except for that break he took draped across the guardrail.

Gallivan: You can see a look on pain on Thorn's face whenever he moves, so he's keeping his movements to a bare minimum. Tumbler has crawled over to another corner, and is trying to shake off the cobwebs. Lee Todd is actually back to his feet.

[The UWS fans start to count down the last few seconds as they appear on the Syni-tron.]

Gallivan: He comes into the corner, and belts Thorn with a Knife-edge Chop! And another! Lee hits him with an Elbowsmash to the head, and drives a Knee into Thorn's tender midsection!

Lockheart: Coming to the ring at this time, from Tampa Bay, Florida and weighing in at 376 lbs... PACO!!!

Gallivan: That's it, fans! Paco is #16, the last competitor!

Jim: Now that Tremere is gone, Paco's got to be the odds on favorite to win this. Everyone else is just beat half to death.

Gallivan: Lee hits Thorn with another Knife-edge Chop... but Paco grabs him from behind! Lee brings up a Mule Kick into the groin of Paco... STUNNER BY LEE TODD! Somehow, Paco stayed vertical! He staggers around as Lee turns back to face him. Lee charges... AND DROPKICKS PACO, SENDING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: What? No way!

Gallivan: These fans are cheering Lee now. We are down to 4 men. Lee Todd, Tumbler, Brian Thorn, and Gabriel Blade. Blade is getting back up, and both he and Lee head towards Thorn at the same time. They stop and stare at each other... then charge into the corner! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ON BRIAN THORN! Lee and Gabe each grab an arm... AND HURL THORN ACROSS THE RING INTO THE FAR CORNER!

Jim: Wow, what impact! The ring shook with that slam, and that must have rattled Thorn's back teeth.

Gallivan: Lee and Gabe head into the corner again, but Tumbler leaps up onto Gabe's back! Gabe is struggling as Tumbler tries to apply a Rear Chinlock, but Gabe pulls Tumbler onto his shoulder... SHOULDERBREAKER BY THE SENTINEL! Instead of going for Thorn, Gabe grabs Tumbler by the arm.. and applies an Arm Grapevine! He's trying to pull Tumbler's arm out of the socket and Joe Generic is asking Tumbler if he wants to submit. In the corner, Thorn comes out at Lee and stings him with a quick right hand! He hits Lee in the guts with a Spinning Back Kick into the breadbasket, then cinches him up... BRAINBUSTER SUPLEX BY THORN!!!

Jim: Efficient use of energy. Thorn came back with a burst off offense when everyone thought he was done.

Gallivan: Both Lee and Thorn are now laying on the mat, not moving. Hang on! Thorn rolls over onto Lee, and this is a cover! Ronnie Wilkins makes the count... 1... 2... NO! Lee got a shoulder up! On the other side, Gabe is torturing Tumbler, and I don't know how long the cruiserweight can hold on. He's been in this match for a long time. Thorn came in first, Tumbler was number 5, Lee Todd was number 10, and the Sentinel was number 15. Tumbler is reaching for the ropes, but I don't even know if he'll get the break for doing that.

Jim: Tremere got disqualified, so the risk of DQ is there, but I don't know if the refs will enforce it for being in the ropes.

Gallivan: It's a moot point, because Gabe releases the hold on Tumbler anyway. Gabe steps through the ropes, and climbs up to the top. Tumbler is still holding his shoulder and rolling around on the mat. Gabe leaps off... FLYING ELBOWDROP BY GABRIEL BLADE!!!

Jim: Ooooh yeah!

Gallivan: Gabe hooks Tumbler's leg, and rolls him over for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Gabe shakes his head and pulls himself back to his feet. Across the ring, Thorn and Lee are still down, but Thorn is dragging himself into a corner again. He's still favoring those ribs. Gabe picks up Tumbler, and locks on a Dragon Sleeper!

Jim: Judgement Day!!!

Gallivan: Gabe hoists Tumbler up for an inverted suplex... BUT THORN CHARGES, CHOPPING HIM ACROSS THE BACK OF THE LEGS! Gabe crashes down to the canvas, and Tumbler lands on him. Waitaminute! Thorn holds Gabe's legs down and Tumbler is lying across Gabe's chest, and this is a cover! Joe Generic makes the count... 1... 2... NO! Gabe still kicked out!

Jim: Close one.

Gallivan: Thorn pulls himself back to his feet, and slaps Tumbler across the back of the head, to get him moving again. Tumbler rolls over, but is slow to get up. Thorn stomps Gabe in the head! He shouts at Tumbler to head to the top rope as Thorn pulls Gabe up and cinches him in a piledriver position.

Jim: We saw Lee and Tumbler execute a spike piledriver in Jester's Pyramid. Looks like Thorn was paying attention that day.

Gallivan: Tumbler is still gripping that shoulder, so he's slow to climb the ropes. Thorn tries to life Gabe off the mat.. but he holds on! Again he tries, but Thorn just can't lift him! Thorn tries again... BUT GABE REVERSES IT INTO A BACKDROP ON THORN! He staggers back and turns around just in time to see Tumbler getting his balance on the top! Gabe fires off a punch into Tumbler's ribs, then grabs him... AND LIFTS HIM OFF THE TOP IN A GORILLA PRESS!!! Gabe hesitates as he holds Tumbler in mid-air, then walks towards the ropes... AND DROPS TUMBLER TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: Man, that had to hurt.

Gallivan: Tumbler landed on the concrete floor, and he's in rough shape. The ring crew are swarming on him to help him out of the ring area. We are down to just 3 men, and not surprisingly, these three men are at the top of the leaderboard for the Iron Man. Tumbler will be in 4th place overall after picking up 7 points, but these three are going to be in the lead. Gabe picks up Thorn, and whips him off the ropes... CANADIAN BACKBREAKER BY GABE!

Jim: Ooooh, you can just imagine those busted ribs grinding together. I'm surprised Thorn hasn't puked.

Gallivan: I'm surprised he hasn't submitted. Gabe raises his finger into the air... AND APPLIES THE GATEWAY TO ETERNITY ON THORN!!!

Jim: He's gonna puke now, for sure.

Gallivan: Thorn is flat on the canvas, and Gabe has him right where he wants him. Waitaminute! Lee Todd is back up and shambles across the ring. He shakes his head... then pulls off his "I'm a Face Now" T-shirt... AND STARTS CHOKING GABE FROM BEHIND WITH IT! Lee pulls Gabe away from Thorn, and I can't believe he just saved Brian Thorn from elimination.

Jim: Lee's smarter than he looks. If Gabe had've eliminated Thorn, Lee would've been the next to go. This way, he got a chance to even the odds on Gabe. And don't forget, Gabe has one more point than Brian Thorn. It may not seem like much, but it could make all the difference in the world.

Gallivan: DI Rogers is shouting at Lee from ringside, and warning him about that choke. Hang on, Gabe reaches up and grabs the T-shirt... AND JUDO THROWS LEE OVER HIS SHOULDER TO THE MAT! Gabe backs against the ropes, and bounces gently off them as he waits for Lee to get to his feet. Lee is up... and barely ducks under a Running Clothesline by Gabe! Gabe heads off the far ropes, as does Lee. They come back, and Gabe ducks under a Clothesline attempt by Lee! Again, they criss-cross the ropes as Brian Thorn rolls back into the relative safety of a corner. Gabe goes for a Backdrop... but telegraphs it! Lee jumps over him, and puts on the brakes behind. He turns around and grabs Gabe by the hair... AND TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

Jim: Wow! Old school to the max.

Gallivan: Lee turns around, his arms raised, and slowly walks towards Thorn. Hang on! Gabe didn't hit the floor! He's hanging by his hands off the top rope on the outside!

[The crowd cheers even louder as Gabe chins himself up, and back into the ring, Ricky Steamboat style.]

Gallivan: Lee raises his arms even higher as the fans cheer wildly. He has no idea that Gabe is behind him! Gabe looks left and right to the fans, who are screaming at shouting at him to jump Lee.

[Gabe smiles, and shakes his head. He brings one foot up, sumo-style, and slams it down onto the mat, shaking the whole ring. Lee jumps up, then spins around to see Gabe behind him.]

Jim: Man, that guy is just too nice.

Gallivan: Gabe charges Lee, but he ducks under a Clothesline! Lee catches Gabe with a Waistlock as he goes by, and cinches him from behind. He shoves Gabe forward, into the ropes... THEN ROLLS HIM UP INTO A ROLLUP OFF THE ROPES! Rogers makes the count... 1... 2... NO! Gabe kicked out! Both men scramble back to their feet, and just stare at each other. Gabe pulls back his hand for a punch, but hesitates. Lee does the same... then both men turn to stare at Brian Thorn!

Jim: Points be damned. Thorn's in deep trouble here.

Gallivan: Thorn's got one hand up in a defensive stance, his other cradled around his ribs as he limps out of the corner. Gabe gives Lee a gentle shove, and Lee steps back. Gabe heads in, and belts Thorn with a huge right hand! Thorn brings up a left Knee into the ribs of Gabe, defensively, then Jabs him in the throat with his free hand! Gabe doubles over... and Thorn hits him with a Snap Kick up into the face! Thorn spins around, catching Gabe with a Spinning Back Kick to the chest that sends him up against the ropes! Thorn charges at Gabe, trying to Clothesline him over the top rope, but Lee charges in for the save, catching him by the arm... CRUCIFIX BY LEE TODD ON THORN!!! Thorn drops to the canvas, and Rogers makes the count... 1... 2... 3! NO! Somehow, Thorn got a shoulder up!

Jim: He must have damn-near dislocated his shoulder to do it, but he did it.

Gallivan: Gabe is still leaning against the ropes, sucking down the air. Lee is up, and pulls Thorn back to his feet. He tries to Irish Whip him towards Gabe... but Thorn reverses it... AND GABE BACKDROPS LEE OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!!

Jim: So much for friendship. That was instinct, plain and simple.

Gallivan: Thorn, who looks like some detached golem, looks up at Gabe, who charges... AND SPEARS HIM TO THE MAT!!! Gabe grabs Thorn's leg, and folds him up for the cover... 1... 2... 3!!! That's it!!!

Jim: What?

Gallivan: Thorn's body just gave out on him. He was in that match since the very beginning. Rogers is calling for the bell, and this incredible match is over! As fast as that, 2 men are eliminated, and we've got a winner!

Jim: If you ask me, #15 VS #1 is about as lopsided a contest as you can get.

Gallivan: Need I remind you that Gabe was brained by that Hardcore Title by Kurt Tremere. Both men withstood a tremendous amount of punishment to make it to the end.

Jim: Hey! That Hardcore Title is still on the mat! As soon as Gabe leaves, I'm gonna be a 3-time champ!

[Gabe, who is walking around the ring, his arms raised to the fans, sees the Hardcore Title and picks it up. He tosses the belt over his shoulder, and the fans cheer ever louder.]

Gallivan: Our ring crew pulls Brian Thorn out of the ring to carry him out, but he shoves them away, and staggers down the entrance ramp on his own power. Outside the ring, Lee Todd is back up, and backing away from the ring. He stares up at Gabe, and gives him a rough salute. Gabe whistles for Lee to stop... then tosses him the Hardcore Title!

Jim: Gabe's got enough stress in his life without worrying about the Hardcore Title, thank you very much.

Gallivan: Lee catches the belt, and continues to head backstage. Fans, this event is over, and here's the official decision.

[Gabe heads up to each corner, posing for the fans before finally leaving the ring area. The show cuts to a wide shot of the announce table.]

Gallivan: Well, it was everything we expected, and then some. Fans, next week during our regular bi-weekly recap version of Blackened, we will have an exclusive preview of the Iron Man 2003 pay-per-view that will take place on March 16. Well, we knew the medal contenders would be tight, but when we started this, we had no idea how tight.

Jim: Reminds me of my third wife.

[A graphic appears on the screen showing the current leaderboard.]

Gallivan: Well, because of the repeated efforts of the top 4 competitors in this competition, only 4 men have the points needed for a chance at the medals. They have managed to shut the rest of the fed out of the medal round. Gabriel Blade, despite losing his Teamwork match, stands atop the leaderboard with a whopping 31 points. Lee Todd and Brian Thorn are tied for second place just 2 points behind him, and Tumbler is still in a very healthy position in fourth place with 27 points. Craig Lassiter, despite an impressive match, will fall just short of medal contention, as will the rest of the leaderboard.

Jim: Ah, but it's not just for the Iron Man on the 16th.

Gallivan: It sure isn't. The man who wins the single-elimination tournament will also become the new UWS Unified World Heavyweight Champion. Kurt Tremere has had a few months representing the fed as the best of the best, but can he bring his A-game to the PPV to retain that title?

Jim: Of course he can.

Gallivan: Any of those 16 men could walk away with the Unified Title at the Iron Man. We'll find out which one in 2 weeks. For Jim Browski, I'm Johnny Gallivan saying goodnight!

[After the end credits roll, the camera cuts to an external shot of Cid zipping up his jacket against the cold and snow as he steps through one of the stadium exit doors into the parking lot. Cid walks in silence through the snow, then stops by a guardrail. He puts his boot up onto the guardrail and starts to tie up the laces. A crunching sound is heard from behind, and Cid spins around to face it.]

Cid: Hello? Who's there?

[A shadowy figure can be seen stepping through the snow, silhouetted against the light from a streetlamp.]

Cid: Ken? Is that you?

[There is a swish of snow as the figure bursts forward, nailing Cid in the chest with a jumping bicycle kick that sends him over the guardrail, crashing to the earth below. The figure leans over and gazes down into a ditch that disappears into darkness after 15 or 20 feet. Turning back, the figure steps into the light, and can now be seen to be Brian Thorn. Thorn is still dressed in his wrestling gear, and huge clouds of steam pour from his mouth and nose as he breathes.]

Brian Thorn: If you want something done properly... you've got to do it yourself.

[Fade to black.]